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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 1:11 am 
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Day 12. Can't even express in words here how overwhelmingly appreciated all you guys are that posted to check in on me today. Really very much appreciated!!!!!!!!!! Rob, tiny dancer, invisible movement, Romeo, And freedom. Thank you, it means a lot that you all took the time to check on me and give some advice.

The tip y'all gave me about stay moving, and don't lay around dwelling on how shitty you feel couldn't of been more true today. At the house before I left for the beach was the same horrible withdrawals I was feeling on day 11 but once I got there it all changed. Spending the day at the beach ( even though it's galveston and not so great ) was the best thing ever. If I was still feeling bad once I got there, I didn't notice. Laying there listening to the waves and some music was the best I've felt since I can remember. Also, even though my sister has no idea what I'm struggling with, talking with her all day about normal life stuff was so amazingly refreshing. I've been so uninterested in other people's lives and so very selfish while busy being an addict. She reminded me that the world is still turning whether or not I'm I'm this state of crap and that there's more going on than my shit. Very nice to see everything today from sober eyes.

With all that being said I'm back home now and hoping the joy I feel will last at least through tonight and that I will get some sleep. I mentioned before I've used a little Xanax to take the edge off. Today ive taken a small amount (.25 mg 3x ) I think this is also helping immensely. It calms the anxiety of OMG I FEEL SO BAD AND WILL NEVER FEEL BETTER. I will however discontinue using it once I'm over this hump. Don't need any more withdrawals. Ever.

Praying day 13 treats me good and hope all of you are well.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 15, 2013 6:39 am 
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Blondie, that is so great that you had a nice day with your sister. I am going away with a friend on Monday, and kinda nervous about it. Although I am feeling lots better now, I still have trouble sleeping and I don't know how it's going to work with me waking up at 3 am when we are sharing a hotel room! Maybe I will be more tired since I will be out and active all day. Anyway, I am SO glad that you had a good day.

I hope you got some sleep last night. I am also taking a little xanax to take the edge off. I should knock that off soon, I know, because of the risk of addiction.

Hoping for a good day 13 for you!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 9:09 pm 
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I'm losing track. Day 14 I believe. Ah yes as I think on it this is the exact two week mark of the last time I dosed suboxone.

GO AWAY WITHDRAWALS!

Wish I could say things are better (starting to feel like a whiner) but I am still waking up in a pool of sweat and sleeping is actually getting more difficult. There has to be an end in sight and I know it's coming but it couldn't be more anticipated. I'm getting through the days mostly forcing a normal routine (with a little help of Xanax) but my head and heart aren't in it yet. The bed keeps calling my name. Just not where I thought I'd be at this point!! :( It would be so easy to give up. Still have two strips in my cabinet and a dr more than willing to keep me on it forever. BUT I want myself back! I know some people feel perfectly normal on subs and that's great, but I am not myself on them. I had no emotions. Not sure if that's normal?

Maybe I should live at the beach cause that's been my best day yet in the past two weeks. Lol

Hope all you guys that have been supporting me are doing great and had a good weekend. If any are fathers I wish you a very happy daddy's day!


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 16, 2013 10:28 pm 
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Hey Blondie! You and I are are in the same boat at the same time here in Texas! I'm on day almost 7 and ready for this to be done. I never took more than 1 mg of subs for pain for about 7 months, but I'm feeling these wds hardcore. I even tapered. I know I'm over the worst and I'm pumped. But I'm still lacking energy. Problem is, I get in bed but my anxiety gets me back up wandering around! I've been keeping up on your thread and I'm so inspired that you are doing this! I would've taken the subs if I had them. I was extremely numb on them and tired, but it effects everyone differently and I'm a light weight. Got on it for chronic pain, but I'm just ready to move on. . We are doing it girl!! Keep the posts, you're inspiring me :)


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:24 am 
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Hey blondie!! Im a blondie too...lol!

Your doing a great job so far. When you start to feel like your not making any progress, its helpful to look back and try to remember how you felt a week before...when you do that you will most likely be able to notice the sloooooow progress your making. sometimes suboxone is so long and drawn out it makes it hard to realize your getting better.

And please be careful with the xanax, im sure its helping but you sutr dont want another monkey on your back! I cant remember if you tried clonidine yet.? It can have the same anti-anxiety and sleep inducing effects, but its non-addictive!

Whrnever i would wd in the past...i would always LIVE in yoga pants. You can forget about me putting on a pair of jeans in wd..lol! And make-up...never even crossed my mind. i would always just throw on a big pair of sunglasses 8)

Well, good job blondie! I have a feeling your about to expirence the miricle that alot of people usually expirence in the 3rd week of sub wd!! Hope you feel better!


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:35 am 
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Danyell,

Thanks so much for the encouragement. So you are also in TX? That's awesome! Today I got so frustrated with this heat and didn't even leave my house at all. Lol doesn't make for a good day when withdrawaling. Cabin fever seems to add to everything.

I hear ya on the anxiety. It gets me all day but worst at night. At night is when I am most thankful for the small amounts
Of Xanax that I am taking. I can't stand when my worried/depressed mind keeps me from sleep. hope things are continuing to get better for you!!

BD- thanks to you also fellow blondie :) I have thought about asking about the colondine sp?) but idk of that's a good idea. Its a blood pressure medication and I have always had super low blood pressure. At the doc last week it was 95 over 55 which they were kinda shocked by. So would it possibly make it even lower?

Day 17 update. Over all I feel like I am seeing some improvement, but it really depends on the time of day you ask me. Early morning I'd swear nothing at all
is better. I feel 100x worse in the morning and afternoon than I do in the evening. In the morning my physical WD symptoms are in full force when I wake, then they kinda blend into a emotional problem in the afternoon. Moody, anxious, snappy, mean and depressed. Stupid things make me cry and the littlest things send me flying off the handle wanting to break something. The moodiness is my biggest complaint today. Then somewhere around bed time I feel pretty ok. I don't get it!?! I was fully depressed at 3pm today listening music and crying and right now besides the cold sweats I have, I feel pretty good. It's like a rollarcoaster here on day 17, and that goes for 16 as well. Hope you guys are great :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 9:17 am 
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Hey Blondie,

It seems like you have had a long haul. I know you are getting sick of it, but you are doing great sticking it out. Just know that we are all supporting you and are proud of your strength and good attitude about your jump! Honestly, knowing that you have 2 strips left to use and not taking them is a HUGE thing!

I am really hoping you start feeling better soon. Week 3 is bound to be better than week 2!

Keep the updates coming!

Q


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 11:47 am 
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Hey Blondie,

Suboxone wd definitely has a roller coaster effect for many of us. Jumping off a fairly high dose just adds to the issue. But, like a rollercoaster, the height of the hills and depth of the valleys even out as the ride moves along.

I hear ya about the crying too. Commercials on TV would make me cry, movies would make me cry. It's all part of the process. It's kind of embarrassing (especially for a guy!!), but it's part of the process.

Keep up your great attitude, keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep Rocking!!

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 22, 2013 11:32 am 
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Blondie! How're you doing?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:28 am 
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Thanks so much for checking in on me. Today is day 22. Crazy how fast time is going.

Brief update. Last Friday was one of the worst days yet. Full on horrible text book withdrawal symptoms so I packed up the car and went to the beach for two days. Couldn't stand to lay in my bed and suffer. Obviously the beach didn't resolve everything I was feeling but I made some friends there Friday and attended a huge party on the beach sat night. Band, bonfires, food, fireworks ETC. Hands down the most fun I've had in forever. Sunday back at home when I woke up I felt a little better but was still very sluggish and tired.

Jumping to today. This is the first day I've woken up in the past 22 days that I've felt normal upon awakening!!!! The rest of the the day I felt almost 100% back to normal except for a little fatigue and some lack of modovation. Couldn't believe it. I've felt pretty bad every morning until this one. The last three weeks have been a rollarcoaster ride of feeling "ok" to feeling like hell so today was so very encouraging that all this suffering will soon pay off. If tomorrow is good as well then I'll start getting really excited. this hasn't been a steady feeling a little better each day thing. It's been full of unpredictable up and downs so praying this is the start of feeling a little better each day :))))

Thanks so very much for the continued support and hope all of you are making it.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 1:52 pm 
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I have been wondering about you since your last post. Give us an update!


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