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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 6:30 pm 
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If you have the patience to read through it all it would be better , if not just read the questions at the bottom off the page

After 10 years of addiction and many failed attempts to stop using drugs i decided to try buprenorphine .Its been 4 month now that i'm being treated with suboxone and things have turned arround for me .I no longer do the awful things i use to do and i'm a lot more happier then i was and so are the people around me and my family !

I am sure and can i assure that if i stop taking buprenorphine now i will not relapse and take drugs again . The reason behind my addiction was that when i was 16 my doctor prescribed me anti-psychotic and anti-depressant for my social phobia . The anti-psychotic that he prescribed had blocked all my feelings and changed the person i was , i became like a zombie , not in the way i walk but like a dead person no feeling whatsoever. I lost all my hobbies , and couldn't feel anything . i knew something was wrong in me , that i wasn't the same person anymore , and i struggled to get back to normal but i never knew what was causing it .
and thus , i started using drugs because they were the only thing that made me feel alive .


I realized all that a few weeks after i started buprenorphine when I ran out of anti-psychotics and for some reason i forgot to buy them and 3 days had already passed since my last intake. Usually i would have withdrawals ( hallucinations , brain zaps etc...) but that time nothing happend and this is how i stopped antipsychotics --> got my feelings back ---> became happy and then i realized that i was using drugs because they made me alive 10years that antipsychotic had stolen from me .
So now that i stopped taking antidepressant and anti-psychotics and got my feelings back , i can assure there is no reason for me to go back to drugs

my question is : Could suboxone be interfering/blocking my feelings ? Will i be happier without the subs or feel more alive ? will i be able to concentrate more ?

I feel like suboxone is helping me deal with my social anxiety a lot but i am afraid of the effect suboxone will have on my ability to work ?
From your experience did/does it interfere with your perfomance at work ? did/does it cause you any memory or concentration problem ? are you able to give your full potential or do you feel that if you weren't taking any subs you would have done better ?


and i know that when i'm im going to stop taking suboxone i'm going to feel lost and and i won't know how to function and get through the day .
Even if i taper down in the end in the end i've been using drugs for 10 years to deal with my problems .!! will i be able to deal with them without the backup ?


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 8:46 pm 
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Hi and welcome. There is no way I could answer all of your questions but others will be along to help. I personally would not be worried about all of that at the moment, but I would be focusing on continuing to improve my life. You have stated that you feel great and that a lot of things in your life are improving, so take that and run with it! I personally have been excited about life since starting this medication. I was able to start my own business(that takes a lot of focus, concentration, patience, hard work and many other things)-and without Suboxone, I would have NEVER had the drive, passion, ethic or stability to do so. I know that I have to put in a lot of extra hard work building my support system(AA, NA, counseling, or whatever) before I even consider coming off of this medication-which will be quite a while from now-I have been seeing a doctor for about 4 months as well(this will be month 4). My focus right now is taking advantage of this medication and improving myself and every aspect of my life that I possibly can. I'm glad you came to this forum, registered and posted- I give you applause for that-that is a big step in itself!


Last edited by HTOWN on Tue Dec 06, 2016 10:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Dec 06, 2016 9:52 pm 
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I tend to respond in a very 'frank' manner. I have patients in my practice who I tend to treat more 'gently', providing opinions with greater knowledge of their background issues, generally more slowly, over time, than I do on this site-- where I have one or two chances to respond.

With that in mind, don't take my comments personally. After all, I don't know you, or anything about you beyond what you wrote. If I'm wrong, let it go-- because my opinions only represent general reactions to what I read.

My first reaction was after reading your reason for using opioids. Understand that we all develop our own story line for why we became addicted. Most of the time, when I hear someone's 'story line', it doesn't ring entirely true. Maybe you are dead on about why you became addicted. But I encourage you to challenge your own story line-- because in general, our stories do more to keep us stuck than to free us from addiction. For example, I often hear that 'I took drugs to numb my anxiety'. The problem with THAT story is that life is FULL of 'anxiety'. If a person is convinced that he/she cannot tolerate life's stresses, then the person will always have a reason to use.

In general, people do better when they 'own' their addiction than when they blame it on something or someone. In my own case, I am attracted to the idea that my constant social anxiety and depression set me up for addiction-- and maybe that is true. But I believe I have a better chance of success if I'm not a victim of situation-- and so instead my 'story line' is that I crossed lines that I shouldn't have crossed, and paid for it. I can accept the fact that I made mistakes. Beyond maybe a better outcome, other people tend to respect those who accept responsibility for their actions.

I have no evidence for these thoughts-- just general impressions.

As for the questions about your true feelings, and whether buprenorphine affects them, buprenorphine has minimal impact on how people feel. People sometimes write that they stopped buprenorphine and now feel different-- but how we 'feel' is the ultimate in subjectivity. Just thinking about how you 'feel' changes how you feel. One thing I can say for certain-- I have many patients on buprenorphine who continue to complain of 'feeling' too much. Whatever 'numbing' it causes is not enough to keep people from complaining about anxiety, worry, or panic attacks! When people stop buprenorphine and say they feel different, I point out thatt people who quit smoking feel different. People who lose weight feel different. People who gain weight feel different. People in a new job, or in an old job, feel different. People who feel 'stuck' on buprenorphine feel different, and people who relapse feel different.

I think you get my point... when we are young, our introspection sometimes drives us crazy. At some point we learn that our subjective experience is our reality, and there is no other reality out there waiting for us. What is the 'real' you-- the you who just got a raise, who just got a date with a great partner... or the you who just woke up two hours before your alarm went off because of a noisy party next door? They are all you-- and whatever changes occur because of taking buprenorphine cannot be differentiated from any other changes in brain activity.

Just realized all of this post is saying the same thing as the prior post-- i.e. at this point, try not to worry so much. If buprenorphine allows you to stop use of opioid agonists, make the most of your life-- and after a year or so, when you unconsciously see yourself as someone who would never take illicit opioids, do a very slow taper off buprenorphine. Any withdrawal you experince then will be less than what you would have now, if you were put in a cage and forced off opioids... so you surely are not making anything worse.

Good luck!


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PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2016 1:28 pm 
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Dr J that post was awesome!


In ur introduction post, u said that since stopping opiates and starting suboxone treatment, you've felt better than u have in ur life. Are u worried about being on it too long? I have to say, and many of us have also said, it's scary to hear someone say that they know they'll never use drugs again. I totally get feeling like ur just done with drugs forever, but realistically no one can say that they know that for sure. We always gotta be working on our recovery.

Suboxone hasn't ever numbed my feelings. When I first stopped using opiates, I went through very intense feelings of every emotion possible, especially guilt. I also don't think suboxone would keep u from performing at ur best in a job. I understand ur concerns, it's good to always be thinking and improving, but it's not going to stop u from doing a good job and succeeding. I think u should just take this time and work on ur recovery, try not to worry so much.

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PostPosted: Sun Dec 11, 2016 6:04 am 
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Dear suboxdoc,

1st let me thank you for your honest advice.
You may be right about me being dead about why i became addicted
because i don't really know the TRUE "Story but here is what i can tell you . i'll share my story with you Maybe it will give you some insight to other cases and help you.
Or just skip it , it's only a my experience .

I know that i started smoking hash for fun and after a while the quantity started to increase, new drugs where introduced into my life from my friends "You want to try something great ? my friend took me i tried it , it's amazing.. That what he said the first time i tried codeine" (My friend didn't have intention of hurting me or he was planning that i'd get addicted , we were just adolescent and Codeine is easily obtained in my country unfortunately . It's cough medicine made by a neighbor country and imported to our country . it cost 25$.
My surrounding, unfortunately, was around friends who liked to use drugs to party and have fun . and on Sundays, we would chill with some other drugs. which i enjoyed doing until it took over my life. And i guess i was the only one who had an addictive personality , all my friends well most of them now use on a regular basis when they are on vacation after a long period of work. Which i definitely am against of course.
So it started as fun and once or twice a month , then every weekend , then let's do it one time during the week and so on. --- Here things were still going good ( i was happy with my life style) drugs hadn't taken over my life yet. (But now looking back i can tell you what i wasn't aware about at that time : I preferring a Sunday at my friends place with downers over going out and bit by bit moving away from social life)

i started to have social phobia " i blame the hashish because i believe it made me paranoid" then because i wasn't happy of what i was doing and i could not manage to accept that i have become this person , from outgoing ,loving,funny.. to people might knowing that i'm using drugs and my reputation. and i got traumatized .
+ I'm a person who didn't really know how to act upon a truth or reality and stop using . I was a fragile person with no will power at all because i did know how to use my reasoning .Mostly blame it for not having a father figure.

How do explain my addiction : I had built a new life style , My thoughts were always from the moment i wake up "How am i going to get my dose today?" i forgot how to enjoy a beautiful day with a beautiful sun and breeze
i forgot how much i enjoyed sports and the benefits it gives you.
I didn't know how not to spend money or take a decision and act on it (for example all i have for this weekend is 20$ , i ow my maid 10$ , let me give her the 10 $ instead of buying fast food . the satisfaction you get when you chose to do the right thing)

anyway enough with all the drug addiction story .. hope i didn't bore you


Today , as i hard as it may be to for someone to believe it . I don't consider myself an addict anymore because i know that if i stopped using buprenorphine , i won't go back to drugs . ( i never consumed drugs because my body needed it , but more psychologically. and now i am strong enough .
but i consider myself physically addicted to buprenorphine which with a good tapering i could get rid off.
But not a drug addict , just taking a Medecine with only one major side effect "Physical Addiction" that can be treated with tapering.

I didn't have time to reply to all your massage. I guess your thanking god now because i talk to much .

i will make sure to read it and reply in short massage .

thank you again


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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