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 Post subject: New from Canada
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 2:06 pm 
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hi everyone,

I have been a member her for a little while now, and think I have posted once or twice, but thought it was time to introduce myself and get to know all of you better. I have actually been reading this forum for almost a year now, so feel like I already know some of you, lol.

I had a really difficult time finding sub in Canada, and actually Dr. Junig did try to help me (what an extraordinary doc he is) although it didn't work out. i won't go in to all the details of that right now until the doc gives me approval to do so.
I really went through hell trying to find someone to prescribe me sub, and in the end i went to my family doctor who knows very well of my addiction problems as he has been my doctor for over 20 years. At the time he was prescribing me hydro morphone for a legit back problem, but he didn't know I was supplementing it with 4 or 5 80's of oxy a day on top of what he prescribed. So, I went to see him armed with information from this website about sub and asked him if he would prescribe it to me. I should mention that before that I went to see my local pharmacist that I have also know for many years and asked him if he could get sub, and if my doc could prescribe it. After spending over an hour on the phone talking to people, he said that it was possible. My doc was actually impressed with all the info I had on sub, and was more than happy to get me off narcotics because he knew the trouble i was having.

Now, from then it has not been an easy road. the first three times I tried to induct I went in to precipitated withdrawals and was so sick I wanted to die, and after 24 hours each time of no relief I always gave in and got more oxy. I pretty much gave up, and knew this disease was going to kill me at the doses I was taking. I got really sick and almost OD'd before Christmas and thought I would try again. By this time i was lying to my doc and had quite a stash of sub, so was in complete addict mode. Well, I would like to say it went well, but it didn't and by this time i really figured sub was not going to work for me, but I stuck it out, and after a week I started to feel a little better. I have no idea why i had so much trouble starting sub, but did not have anyone to help me either, except for online forums, and had no working computer at home, and live out in the country so only had dial up when I did have a computer and had NO patience for that when I was soooo sick.

Since then it has been rocky. I have had several relapses, i think mostly because i do not have a support system. I don't even know anyone else on sub. i have been to a few meetings but have not really found one that I like. I did join a group at my church that i really like, but again, I can't even mention sub, which is okay, just hard to relate to anyone. how does everyone here handle this? Do you have your own group> do you tell anyone at all?

Anyway, I have finally got stable on sub, and I really want to get well and start on my recovery and take this seriously. I got rid of all my contacts whcih was really difficult because they were friends. I met them all when I was really sick and we went through a lot together. The only difference now is that I am ready to be off oxy's, and they are not, so I had to let them go.

I am really looking forward to talking to all of you. Like I said before, I already feel like I know a lot of you, and think you are an awesome group of people and I feel quite honoured to finally be part of the group.

ginger :D [font=Arial] [/font]


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 3:08 pm 
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Hi Ginger and welcome! We're so glad to hear from you. It sounds like you've had a rough road, and it is tough without a support system. I've been on suboxone for 16 months now and pretty much just have my husband, my therapist, and this forum. My family knows I'm on suboxone as do all my doctors. It just depends on the person as to whether I'll share it with them or not. I did just start an in-person group for people on suboxone, but have only gotten one new member so far. But I have high hopes - maybe you can consider starting your own addiction recovery group, too?

Thanks for sharing your story with us. We're really glad to have you with us. Keep posting.

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 Post subject: Glad you made it here
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 4:34 pm 
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Hi ginger61,
Hello and Welcome to the Forum. As you know from looking around there are many people here willing to be part of YOUR Support System.... When I read your story I thought back to when I was inducted and realized how lucky I was.
I was using about 300-350 mgs of Oxycodone a day when I finally came clean with my Dr... Talking to him and being honest was the hard part! He sent me to a Suboxone Dr. the next day (in his building...) and within 24hrs. of that visit I was on my way to Recovery.... I was in moderate w/d's when I got started on Suboxone but everything went fine and I have been on 16 mgs a day since then and that was 14 months ago.... My start was Very Easy compared to your road to Suboxone. I'm glad you had the determination to keep trying until you had success!! hatmaker is right maybe you could start you own group? there is probably more people around looking for support than we think?? Well what ever you choose I hope you come back and keep posting.... We need your input!!! Keep up the good work and best of luck.....

God Bless
TW

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:02 pm 
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Hi again,

Thanks so much for the welcome. I am at home now, so using the old dial up and really have a lot of problems trying to use this site. When I log on, every time I move to a different page, for some reason I am no longer logged on. I have already tried to post a reply but when I did, again for some reason I was not logged on, and I tried to log on, but then lost my post. This time I will copy it first so I don't lose it (that was extremely frustrating, losing my post). I am not sure why this is happening, or if it has something to do with dial up, or my computer??? not sure....

So, again thanks for the welcomes. Me posting on this site is long overdue. I so wish I would have done this when I first started on sub, I may have had less trouble, or maybe I really wasn't ready yet! I Am ready now! I have had enough of that rat race. I am so tired of being sick all the time, and even more tired of spending all my money on something that no longer makes me feel good. The last year or so has been pure hell. I no longer go anywhere or do anything, pretty much go to work, come home and isolate. I am married, but we pretty much do our own thing. My husband is away a lot anyway because of his work, and the weekends are so busy with catching up on household chores. We used to have a very busy social life and very involved in our church, but now he goes to church without me, as a matter of fact he pretty much does everything without me. We get along, but he is not really much of a support as far as my addiction or recovery goes. We just don't talk about it period, which I think is pretty strange since it has almost killed me many times, has made us broke even though we both work very hard at full time jobs. I would think he would at least be very angry, and I ask him about it, but he just says he is glad I am better, when I am obviously not. I don't get it. I have been able to hide my addiction fairly well because I was very sick with cancer, so I think most people think I am still recovering from that and have just left me alone.

My doctor is not a lot of help. he had not even heard about sub until I asked him about it, so I am pretty much on my own as far as dosing goes. I have not been honest with him, and he thinks I am doing okay. I guess now that I am no longer asking for opiates he actually believes I am doing well. I used to see him every week when he was prescribing hydromorphs, but now I only see him every two months. At this point I don't really want to tell him the truth, because I don't want to lost my subs. I really feel alone. I know no one else that has even heard about subs. There are several methadone clinics in this city though. I went to each one of them asking about sub when I first started looking for it, but all I got was big no's and a lot of blank faces. I am sure that the meth docs must have heard about sub by now, but so far, they are not prescribing it. I did find one doctor in Toronto but it is a two hour drive away, and for the first 6 months they need you to pick up your sub every day, so that was not going to work. Sub has only been approved and legal in Canada for 2 years I believe, so we are way behind the US. Still, I am surprised that it is not more available. I am just happy that I have it, and feel badly for abusing it. I am not setting a very good example for other Canadians trying to get it.

I am currently taking 16mgs every day and don't really have any side effects. I feel okay, maybe a little anxious at times. I am so glad that I got rid of all of my contacts. I would just start to feel good and one of them would drop by with a brand new script, and I was stupid enough to get some. I have now told them all I have had enough and to please stay away. I have to get well, I am so tired of this life, well, no life really.

As much as I would like to start my own group, really, there is no one else around on sub. I have asked my pharmacist several times as he knows how many orders are put in for sub, and I am the only one. I have to give him 2 or 3 days advance notice to get my sub as he does not order it until I need it as there is no one else getting it. In Canada sub is a little different. It comes in blister packages of seven, and then in a box. They are very soft and crumble easy, probably because the blister package keeps them so fresh. They melt or dissolve very quickly, in seconds really. They are white and taste like lemon. They come in 8 and 2 mg. We do not have Subutex in Canada.

So, that is all for now. Thanks again for the welcome, looking forward to chatting with all of you more.
ginger


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 Post subject: question about picture
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:45 pm 
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Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:29 pm
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Hi again,

I have spent hours this morning reading through some old threads. I am so pleased that I am finally posting and part of this awesome community. My only regret is not coming to my senses sooner and treating my recovery more seriously. I have done so much damage in so many areas of my life and I am really looking forward to trying to repair some of this, although I know I have a huge task ahead of me. Financially I have done some huge damage. The good thing is that I have managed to keep my career through this, although I have no idea how I managed.

Anyway, I have noticed that everyone has a cool picture beside their name and I am sorry to say I have no idea how to get one, and would like one. Could someone let me know how to do this?? It seems like such a little thing in the huge long list of questions and goals I am trying to achieve at this point, but it's a start.

So, thanks for all of your help so far. Again, I am really looking forward to getting to know all of you better.

Oh, one other thing, do you have any open chat groups on this forum??

Thanks again,
Ginger


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 12:53 pm 
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Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
If I recall correctly I just went online in search of GIF's before I posted my avatar. They do have to be a certain size. Go to your profile page - the same place where you put a signature - and it will tell you the size, I believe.

You can get to the chat room at the bottom of the index page. Myself and others pop in there sometimes. Hope to see you there!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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