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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:15 am 
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Well, where to start. My name is Jenny. I'm 30 years old and I've been addicted to prescription medications for about 5 years. I started taking pain medicine for chronic migraines, then had to take more after a surgery for endometriosis. That's when it started getting bad. I had to take more and more to get the pain to go away, then I had to take it just to feel normal. And over the years I became completely dependent. I was taking everything, lortabs, percocet, oxy, valium, xanax, tramadol, and anything else I could get my hands on. I was spending a fortune on meds because I was taking way more than was prescribed to me.

On Monday, May 9th I quit taking all meds. The next day I started suboxone treatment. It was rough at first, because the dr put me on too high of a dosage and I got sick from it. But after that, and the dosage was fixed, I felt a lot better. I am now on day 8 of taking no meds except the suboxone. I am taking 4mg in the morning and 4mg at night. Not sure if that's a lot, normal, or not much. I am having some side effects, but nothing too bad. I wish I had done this years ago, but I know I had to wait until I was truly ready to quit. Otherwise this woudn't work. But I have made up my mind and truly do want to beat this addiction. My husband and I want to start a family, and this is the first step toward that dream. I know it won't be easy, but I believe my motivation to quit is helping a lot. I don't have cravings at all, I have no desire to take the meds that have controlled my life for the past 5 years.

I was really happy to find this forum. It's nice to be able to read the stories of other people going through similar situations, makes me feel a little less ashamed, and a little more hopeful.


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:38 am 
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Hi Jenny - welcome to the forum. I hope you find as much friendship and support here as I have. This is a great place and there are some wonderful people here.

Congrats on beginning your recovery. I know how difficult it was for me to admit that I had a problem and that I needed help...and how wonderful it felt when I finally got the help I needed. You've made a huge, positive change in your life by deciding to stop abusing opiates and starting Suboxone treatment. It's great that you have the support of your husband and the goal of starting a family to help motivate you through this time.

Are you going to look into any other routes of addiction recovery? Suboxone is a wonderful tool that helps keep withdrawals and cravings at bay, but it's not a cure, and many Suboxone patients find that therapy or meetings or some other self-designed recovery program can be a vital component of successfully healing from addiction. Even participating on a forum like this can be part of your recovery process.

I hope you'll stick around and keep us posted on your progress. There are many good stories and lots of interesting info here. I look forward to seeing you around the forum.

_________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


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PostPosted: Thu May 19, 2011 1:51 am 
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Thanks for the reply!

I am seeing a psychiatrist once a week in addiction to the suboxone treatment. My doctor actually set up consultations for me with a few different therapists so I could find someone I was comfortable talking with. But he requires it as part of my suboxone treatment, for the first 2 to 6 months. That's part of the reason I chose the doctor I did, because he really seemed to care about the entire process, whereas other doctors just wanted to give me a prescription and shoo me out the door.

And having my husband behind me helps so much too. He has always nudged me in the direction of quitting. He's been very vocal about how he feels about my addiction, that it scares him, that he hates what it's doing to me, but he's never tried to push me too hard. I think he knew that until I was ready to really admit to the problem and ask for help, he just needed to be there for me. We've been talking constantly over the last week about what I've been through, what it's done to me, what's it's done to our relationship, and where to go from here.

I also started writing again. I used to write a lot, years ago, and I'm not really sure why I ever quit. But keeping a journal, and writing poetry, has been a huge help to me so far. My mindset and mood seem to change so fast, it's helpful to be able to read through the things I've written to get a sense of what I'm really going through, and the best way to deal with it. I would recommend keeping a journal to anyone going through this. It's been a great tool to make me be truly honest with myself.

And now finding this forum, I think I have a pretty good overall plan and support system.

Thanks so much, even getting a response from a stranger seems to give me more hope!


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PostPosted: Sat May 21, 2011 6:06 am 
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Hi Jenny, I just wanted to wish you the very best of luck with your treatment. I am a few years older than you and i am also at that stage were i want to start thinking about having a baby with my husband (if we can get our addictions sorted and in the past once and for all).The Suboxone treatment is the best move that I could ever had made. I have had a few little blips were i've still craved my drug of choice (DOC), and i did give in to the cravings somethimes, but I am getting there and I just know in time I will be properly where i want to be. I take each day at a time and once i get through one day its a massive achievement for me especially when i think what each day of my life was like before i started the treatment. The lovely thing I find about the suboxone is that once it is settled in your system (i had problems with sleeping and headaches for the first few weeks but that has gone now) its just the best ever to feel normal and not have to suffer with any sickness each and everyday. thank god I am past that now. my future feels bright; i feel like i have a future.
sorry if i have gibbered on and an to you.
again, good luck with everything and do not ever feel ashamed of what has happened to you!
Lots of Love
Carolyn
(London, UK)


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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2011 4:21 pm 
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Thanks for the reply Carolyn!

I can't tell you how much it means to me just to hear from people who are going through the same thing I am. This is such a tough time, and although I have the complete support of my husband, sometimes it helps to get the outside perspective. I've been on the suboxone treatment for 16 days now. I'm still having trouble with headaches, but I have a feeling that's not necessarily a side-effect, but just my body getting used to dealing without the meds I had been on for so long. I've always had chronic headaches, and I just have to get used to dealing without the meds again. For the last few days I've been able to sleep much better. Actually, if I didn't have to work I think I could sleep all day! But my husband and I own a business together, so I can't skip work.

I also feel like I'm able to think a lot more clearly now than when I first started the treatment. I felt really foggy and dazed for quite awhile. But I feel like that's getting a lot better. I still haven't had much issue with cravings, but I'm sure I'll run into some bad days and I'll just have to fight that urge.

It sounds like you're doing great Carolyn! I know that some people do a lot worse than give in to the cravings a couple times. For me, starting a family has been a great motivator. And the thing that really pushed me to get healthy is I had a miscarriage. I was only about 4 weeks along, and didn't even know I was pregnant, but it was still a very emotional situation. We've always been worried that we wouldn't be able to get pregnant because of my medical issues, and then knowing that we were pregnant but lost it was devastating. But I've come to look at it as the push I needed to get my life in order. And like you said, every day is a victory when you're going through this. I have started to feel a little better each day. I've started to find the motivation to exercise and eat right, and I think that as times goes on I'll be able to get more and more healthy. And hopefully soon I'll be able to look in the mirror and see the person I used to be looking back at me!

Good luck to you Carolyn, I'll keep you in my prayers!


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