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 Post subject: new to forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 8:08 am 
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HI everyone. I am new to this and new to suboxene so not sure where to post. I can't tell you how much this site has helped me ! I just started subs and have only been on it for 4 days. So everyone on here has helped me so much just reading your posts. I just wanted to say thank you for providing a forum full of info and answers to my never ending questions! !


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 9:27 am 
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Hello Willow, Welcome! So happy you are here! When you are comfortable with it, please share your story with us. In the meantime, enjoy all the great information and getting to know us! Also, don't hesitate to ask any questions that you may have? Enjoy your day!


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 19, 2016 11:41 pm 
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Thank you for the welcome reply! I have been feeling so alone so it was great to get a response. I am 48 yrs old. Started drinking and using at 11yrs old. Anything and everything ! Lots of trauma and all the stuff that goes with it. When I was 23 I tried to get sober and failed. Was diagnosed with ptsd from a very abusive and torturous relationship . Continued to use until I got pregnant when I was 30. I was able to stay clean for the most part until my daughter was a year old and then began to use and drink full on again. Finally got sober and clean when she was 1 1/2 yrs old. Became pregnant with my son. I stayed sober and clean for 11yrs thru NA and AA. Married twice and divorced. Then 6 yrs ago I meant the love of my life . Or I thought I did. And in 6 months I was using opiates with him . He was the local pill dealer :( . So our relationship revolved around pills. Oxcy became my love,friend,comfort etc. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis and yes at first they eased my pain so I could function. I raised my kids and they are wonderful. Have a 2yr old granddaughter who is such a blessing. But the pills have gotten out of control of course. I was kidding myself that I could control my use. They became the obsession and I was either worried of running out or sick because I had. So last week I decided enough was enough. I was using 140 to 200 mg of Oxcy a day. It was breaking me financially, emotionally, and physically. I want to live! ! So I went to a sub Dr and here I am !! I feel like a weight has been lifted ! I know I have a lot of work a head of me but I have hope again like before. One question I have is I feel like my 8mg dose doesn't hold me thru 24 hrs. I am having bad low back pain like with withdrawal and sweats etc... is it just the adjustment? Or do I need to dose twice a day?? Any help would be great. :)


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 12:47 am 
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I have a question for you, thanks for sharing your story btw. Can you describe how you transitioned from the pain pills to the subxone. I'm very interested in that subject. thanks, megster


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:39 pm 
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HI Megster. Thank you for your welcome. I have a friend that is on suboxene. So she helped me get my first appointment set up. The day I went to my first appointment I was at about 24 hrs into withdrawal. She had told me I would have to be in order to start my first dose. I planned it out so that I used my last oxcy 24 hrs prior to my appt. It was very hard to not go get something to ease the withdrawal but I told my kids and anyone and everyone that I had to do this so that I could start the subs. I am still having issues with what I think is withdrawal. I feel like my 8mg dose doesn't hold me till the next day. I end up with bad low back pain, sweats, anxiety etc in the evening. I feel like this is possible withdrawal since I have only started the subs days ago. If anyone has any thoughts or suggestions about this I would appreciate hearing them . Thank you :D


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:39 pm 
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Hello Willow,
One option is to cut your films and take half in the morning and half in the afternoon. Still 8 mg a day. I would also look through some of the threads regarding absorption and assure yourself you are taking it correctly. You may need to go to 12 or 16 mg a day to get things quieted down. Also, if pain is a significant factor/trigger you may need to take smaller doses more frequently.
I would encourage you to write your questions down to help you when you meet your doctor next.


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:45 pm 
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Hi Willow, I was taking tramadol to help with knee pain associated with osteoarthritis. I was prescribed 50mg four times per day. I was also starting to deal with menopause and depression related to that. So, needless to say, I wound up taking 40 to 50 pills a day. In August of 2014, they changed the class of drug and it became almost impossible to buy online. At that point, I knew I had to do something. I found a wonderful sub doctor and she started me on 24mgs. I saw her at 2pm on a Friday. By Saturday night I was in full withdrawl and started the suboxone. I woke up on Sunday morning feeling like a new woman! I could not believe how easy it was! I have weaned myself down to 4mgs per day. I take 2mgs in the am and 2mgs in the p.m. I feel that this is best for the osteoarthritis. So, that is my story. Still dealing with menopause but the suboxone handles the worst symptom...depression. I have always been an upbeat and positive person. I can not handle the darkness of depression! Thank you for listening. I would talk to your dr about spliting your daily dosage. Have a great evening!


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 6:57 pm 
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Thank you both for your suggestions. I will definitely write my questions down for my Dr who I see again on Wednesday. I have been reading a lot about splitting the dose on here. Also the proper way to get the best absorption. Not only am I trying to get my pain pill addiction under control due to the RA , I have the RA pain and the menopause depression too!! I have dealt with depression a lot and I feel like the subs are going to be great once I get the proper dosing down etc.. I feel so relieved to hear from you guys and know that I am not alone and have this as a great resource also for questions or just to vent. Thank you again so much for listening. I will keep posting and reading. :) Have a great evening everyone.


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sun Mar 20, 2016 8:29 pm 
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Welcome!

The analgesic properties of buprenorphine last for about 4 to 6 hours. Meanwhile one dose can keep you out of withdrawals and cravings for 24 hours.

For chronic pain bupe is best split into 4 to six doses over 24 hours. You may have to play a little bit to figure out what works best for you.

Best,
Amy

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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 9:39 am 
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Good morning. Thank you Amy for the info on dosing. I did more reading about that and I will try some different dosing throughout the day. I will also talk with my Dr on Wednesday about this. I just don't want to make him mad or anything if I adjust it myself so I hope he listens. He seems to be very good at listening and stuff but I have only had one appointment so I am still nervous about talking with him but this is life or death for me as I am sure it is with everyone on this forum! I just don't want to go back to oxy ever so I will talk to Dr no matter how difficult or nervous I feel. Hope you have a great day. :)


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2016 12:46 pm 
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Hello Willow welcome to the forum, sorry I'm late welcoming u, I took some time away from the forum a few days to enjoy the beautiful weather we've been having lately...so welcome lol :)

I also had a pretty high oxycodone addiction when I started suboxone. I was taking around 150mg a day. I waited 32 hrs before my induction and it was rough to say the least. I started out on 16mg a day but I feel like I could have easily started out at 12mg and been fine, maybe even 8mg which is what ur starting out on. Since ur an addict who experiences pain, I'd also think u would possibly benefit from splitting up ur doses throughout the day. I'd definitely talk to ur Dr about it. I know as an addict it's tough to talk to ur Dr about certain things because we're so scared of the Dr thinking we're just trying to get more or have bad intentions, but u have to try to trust that ur Dr will recognize that ur being completely truthful.

Suboxone is such a great medication and I know I wouldn't be where I am today without it. It was the best decision I could have made for myself and I'm sure you'll think so too. Good luck!!

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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Tue Mar 22, 2016 1:31 am 
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Thanks for your welcome Jennifer. I actually took an extra half this afternoon so I had a total of 12mg today. I felt much better. So I hope I can talk to my Dr Wednesday and he will understand and up my dose. Ithe really helped with my pain level and I had no symptoms really like sweats or the lower back pain or too much anxiety. That's why I amean really sure now that I was having withdrawal symptoms in the late afternoon. They were all gone once I took that other half late afternoon today. So I will talk to him and pray he gets it!! I am a little down today. I feel pretty alone. I don't have many real friends. But I will say my kids are so happy. They have seen the difference in just a week. They are so supportive and give me so much encouragement and hope. I am so proud of them. I think I may be feeling some guilt realizing how they felt warching me become addicted. I know emotionally I was numb some and I know my use must have worried them. So maybe that's why I am down tonight. I was sober 11 yrs before I started again so they really had never known me as an active addict. Now I see how much time and how much of me it must have taken away from them. I still did a real good job of keeping it from them until probably the last 2 yrs. So I am so glad I have started recovery again ! I am so glad I have smart ,loving, caring,honest kids!! They are the best of me! Well it's late so I am gonna try to sleep.
Willow


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 8:10 am 
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Good morning everyone. Well I had my 2nd Dr appointment yesterday. It went great! He listened to my concerns and agreed that adding a half a pill to my dose was appropriate. That for now it would be a good idea and at a later time we can back the dose down if appropriate. Wow ! I was so happy to have a Dr listen to me and so lucky! I know not everyone has that kind of Dr cause I never have until now. :D . It really help a lot when I took the other half in the evening. I am still having the terrible sweats and runny nose. I think the sweats are just normal side effect that will hopefully fade plus I am in menopause so I'm sure some of it is good old mother nature !! Lol. I feel like the runny nose is my nose trying to become normal again after years of sniffing my DOC. So all in all I'm doing real good. I can deal with those 2 things. The bad back ache and anxiety and other symptoms are being controlled well from my subs. I hope everyone gas a great day.


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 2:38 pm 
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Great news Willow. It sounds like ur Dr listened to ur issues and worked well with u to solve them, and ur right, not everyone is lucky enough to have a Dr that will listen.

The sweats is a side effect that some ppl say they have because of suboxone. I did in the beginning also, but I'm 39 and it could absolutely be from pre-menopause too so who knows. At least ur not in active addiction and now ur feeling better with the upped dose....sounds like ur on the right path to me :)

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 Post subject: Re: new to
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:17 am 
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Hello willow, it's great to have you here!
I'm glad you are advocating for yourself and your doctor is responding positively. I am on 12 mg and I feel it works beautifully to treat pain and addiction with a little mood enhancement thrown in also.
In early sobriety, I felt confronted with thoughts and feelings I suppressed during addiction. I think most of us experience some degree of guilt or shame when we accept the things we did or didn't do.
Our need comes first no matter how much we want otherwise.
We survived the best we could under the circumstances.
You have been through enough and now you deserve more.
Willow, by other people's standards, I am terribly lonely. However, I feel most "at home" when I am by myself with the animals. I have a couple of old friends in the background that I never see and I have friends at work. I am always searching for excuses when ppl invite me out.
Drugs and alcohol were the glue to a social life. I have no desire to make new friends. As well as feeling comfortable with how I live, I find too many ppl end up being self important bastards.
Me, I am incredibly sensitive to ppls feelings and animals.
A work colleague became hysterical at the sight of a cockroach and felt the need to defend her territory by slamming it with a newspaper. My instinct led me half across the nurses station to save the poor insect. Most ppl I meet couldn't care less about the things I do. Like, I am crazy for caring about something that is so small it should be insignificant. Even though they exist as socially bonded creatures, capable of communicating and recognising each other. yep, I'm ridiculous for giving a shit.
I love this site because it feels like something I can rely on. There is so much kindness and understanding.
I hope you stick around willow and don't think I'm too nutty!


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 8:31 am 
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HI Katipo. Thank you for your welcome! I do not think you are too nuts! In fact I can totally relate to you. I too feel I am better off alone with my animals. I care about things that most people could care less about. I think that most people turn out to be so self-absorbed and selfish that I can't even relate to most of them. That's why I am so thankful to find this forum. I have had nothing but positive feedback and warm loving welcomes. I hope that I can one day help someone they way you and everyone here has helped me. I had a rough afternoon and evening. It was the first time since starting subs that I was confronted with my beloved oxy! A person I know came by with a whole bottle! Then I was left alone in the room with that bottle!! All I can say is thank god for the strength to walk away. And suboxene!! But for the rest of the day till evening I was obsessed with thoughts of using. I think I went thru all the emotions in the world. Then was on the pity pot for a while because I can no longer use them. It was really agonizing for a while but I made it! I got on here and read and read. Then I watched a movie. I am so thankful for the choice again to say no. So thankful to wake up this morning to my dog snuggled into my legs and my children and grandchild. They give me strength and hope for a new day. I don't ever have to use again if I don't want to . Today I choose life no matter how hard it is at times. I choose to live and move forward. Hope you have a blessed day. :)


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 4:51 am 
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Hi willow,
Firstly I just wanted to say that you are already helping people. Sharing your experiences is profoundly beneficial to people.
Secondly, wow, good on you for getting past what must have been an near impossible situation.
In the beginning it helps to steer clear of people who will not help your sobriety. I don't want you to be in that situation again.
Willow, it gets sooo much easier, but with me, I caved a few days in, only to realise the high was blocked and it only frustrated me. From then on I learnt if I was to ever indulge, it would take planning and about a week of no subs. Since being on subs I have created somewhat of a life that keeps me busy and focused.
I haven't used in over 4 yrs.
Like I said, it can be uncomfortable initially, but give yourself a few weeks and you will feel amazing.I am proud of you for having the resolve to say no. I'm not sure i would have been able to do as you did.
I hope you feel really good about yourself!
Life does get so much better.
Hope to hear from you soon.


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 7:53 am 
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Good morning Katipo! Thank you so much for your response. Luckily I already knew if I was gonna be able to get high I would have to plan it and be off my subs. I think that is probably the main reason I was able to say no...I think if not for the subs I would have definitely caved!! Also I had 11 yrs of complete sobriety off of every substance before I became addicted to pain pills!! Then at 11 yrs I started using them for my RA pain . Before that I had taken a pill here and there but it was never my drug of choice back in my using days. So that just shows how cunning and baffling our addictions can be! How good our mind is at deceiving us into thinking we are ok!! Cause boy once I took that first pill my addiction was back in charge for 6 long years. I am so lucky to have a second chance at sobriety. So very lucky. I have beat myself up so badly for going back out and allowing my addiction to run my life again. But I am learning to forgive myself again and take life on life's terms. Man that is hard to do some days !! Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and helping me feel like I am not alone. Enjoy your day .


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 3:15 am 
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Hi willow,
How are you doing today? Is your dose sufficiently addressing your pain? Any change on the sweats and runny nose. Come to think of it I have the runny nose thing most days but given its such a benign side, I rarely give it any thought.
Willow, I hate hearing that you are so hard on yourself because you relapsed after 11 yrs. 11 years sober without ORT is very impressive. Something that was beyond me. If you can remind yourself that addiction changes our wiring, making us susceptible to relapse even after years of being clean.
When I painfully jumped off methadone, I saw a reputable addiction specialist who basically burst my pride bubble, explaining I had very small chance of making it without ORT. I felt angered by this meeting. I had put in the hard work. Suffered greatly for months all to be told it was in vain.
He was so very right, I relapsed a few weeks later, in spectacular fashion of course.
Be kind to yourself.


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 Post subject: Re: new to forum
PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2016 9:44 am 
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Good morning Katipo! So good to hear from you . We'll my dose seems to be doing much better. The sweats and severe back ache are gone for the most part. I am 48yrs old so I still have the sweats but they are more like the premenopause kind now not the withdrawal kind. Still have mild runny nose but I really think now it's my nose trying to heal after the 6yrs of putting meds up there. So I can handle that. I had a very busy weekend and was on my feet all day Saturday cooking and stuff with Easter activities. So I am paying for that with very painful hand and feet joints and swelling. With my RA that is to be expected. But what a blessing to be able to do those things for my family and not have to be obsessed with how many pills I have or if I can find more so I am not sick. Such a relief that is!! You are so right as far as being kind to myself. I am often my biggest critic. As I am sure you are to yourself. I am sorry you struggled so much but sounds like you are doing really good now. That gives me so much hope. I am not good at asking for help so I battled with myself about starting the subs this time around . Finally got honest with myself and knew I wasn't going to be able to do this on my own. I am so thankful I made that first Dr appt and started ORT. It has truly changed my life and allowed me to start the journey of sobriety again. So yes , I need to be kind to myself and I hope you can do the same for you. We addicts often believe we don't deserve love and kindness I think. But we DO deserve all that as much as anyone else. I am so glad to have you to talk to! You are a blessing in my life ! Have a wonderful day. :D


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