It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 8:40 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:43 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:12 am
Posts: 3
Hi everyone. I am not new to suboxone, but I am new to the forum. I was on sub for 18 months, and after a considerable amount of badgering from my husband, I tapered and quit 5 weeks ago. It was pure hell. The worst sickness/depression I have ever ever been through. I was literally a "walking dead" person pretty much the entire time. So today, I broke down and went back to the doctor, and yup, I am back on suboxone. I feel like such a failure, but at the same time, I feel sooooo much better (physically and emotionally). It's a very confusing contradiction of feelings. At this point, I am thinking that I will be on sub as a maintenance drug for an indefinite time period. If that's what it takes to actually "live" my life, than that's the road I am choosing to take.

I would love to hear from others who think it's "okay" to take suboxone as a maintenance drug.... even if that means for the rest of my life. Obviously, I have some sort of a physical or mental issue, and suboxone TREATS (not cures) that problem for me. I am trying desperately to accept this, and terrified of breaking the news to my husband. He is not supportive of me taking the sub... The only reason I quit was because he pressured me. Of course, I know that this is not an appropriate motivating factor, and should not, therefore, be surprised that quitting the sub ultimately failed for me.

It's hard for me to believe that I would ever touch another sub after the horrifying w/d that I experienced getting off it, but honestly, life without suboxone was not a life worth living (for me). I could NOT get my energy level back, and was quite simply, uninterested in life. Daily tasks like SHOWERING required more energy and effort than I felt I could handle. Things like grocery shopping were simply out of the question. Even if I made it to the store, I would have a tough time caring about what I put in the cart. I know this sound silly, but it is my experience.

After making the difficult decision to re-start the sub, and after dragging my butt back to the doctor, I can honestly tell you that after my first dose of only 2mg., I felt almost instantly AMAZING. I know that much of this is psychological, but certainly not all. It's like my body said THANK YOU. I took my kids out to dinner, visited my brother in the hospital, then went and did some school clothes shopping. I could not have done that during the 5 week haze of "un-suboxone".

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and I would appreciate any advice/help etc. Negative comments, however, please keep to yourself! I just don't need that right now, no offense!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:22 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:11 am
Posts: 427
Location: Fishers, Indiana
Hey Living Life :)
It's pretty early here and I'm only up now because I have to be so I'll make this relatively short and sweet. I just wanted to tell you how glad we are to have you with us and share that our group opinion here at Suboxforum is that there is NOTHING wrong with staying on Suboxone for life if that's what it takes for you to stay clean and maintain quality of life after abusing opiates. I really feel for you and understand exactly what you're going through I've tried many times already in my relatively short life to stop abusing opiates and each time after quitting I was miserable and would eventually start using again. I finally found Suboxone a little more than 2.5 years ago and have been clean and happy ever since :) I feel very safe staying on Sub and no longer feel like I have to use, it's like being full (rather than starving) and looking at a plate of food. It has enabled me to live a happy, fulfilling, and normal life and 99% of the time I go whole days without even so much as thinking about, or wanting to abuse opiates. Those close to me saw the many changes in my life after I started Sub and so I was lucky enough to have family and friends who kept an open mind and weren't afraid of educating themselves on how different Sub/buprenorphine is above 4mg than any opiate of abuse. There's no pressure for me to quit Sub maintenance other than financial and as long as I'm able to pay for it I will because I was spending many times more before on using. If your husband continues to refuse to educate himself on why Sub/bupe is so successfull as a treatment of opiate addiction and the fact that the alternative for the vast majority of addicts is methadone maintenance (which is many times not even an option because of ridiculous regulations and daily dosings), prison, or death. 12-step programs work for a very small minority of addicts, right around but usually less than 10% and which only a fraction of that 10% are still sober after 5 years and while those close to us may try and tell us that we're "special/different" than other opiate addicts and that we'll not end up like the "rest of them" I really do think it's important to not buy into that kind of talk as for me it was that kind of nonsense that kept me sick to begin with. If your spouse refuses to seek education on his own about Sub you could try directing him to the Suboxonetalkzone main page to read the first hand experiences of Dr. Junig who is probably in my opinion at least as a former opiate addict, neuro-chemist, anesthesiologist, and now practicing psychiatrist the most qualified doctor anyone could find to talk about the pros and cons of Sub and point out the differences between bupe and other opiates. There's also a recording he just put up on the dowloads section that you can purchase for those close to you to listen to who may be badgering you to discontinue Sub maintenance. I'll end with the fact that for me personally I had to realize that anyone who doesn't regard my own survival and happiness as a priority and is unable to distinguish fact from preconcieved ideas is probably no longer able to be a part of my life. I certainly hope that isn't the case for you but I had to realize the importance of self preservation which for me required continuing Sub maintenance. Please keep us posted and try and hang in there as best you can :) You can at least know that there are others here who've been through what you're going through now and that in itself has helped me alot.

O.K. maybe that wasn't so brief lol too much coffee this morning I suppose :lol:
Matt

_________________
"If you're going through hell, ....keep going!"
-Winston Churchill


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Welcome
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 4:09 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:48 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Ohio
The best thing to do is to get your husband to educate himself about long term suboxone maintenance. In my opinion five months was not enough time to repair the damage of your addiction.Keep your dose as low as possible and do not feel bad about it.I have no plans on stopping my medication because it has been so helpful in keeping me from addictive behaviors!

_________________
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject: thanks for the replies!
PostPosted: Tue Jul 28, 2009 5:39 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:12 am
Posts: 3
Thank you for the quick and supportive replies. I feel so so so so so much better now that I'm back on suboxone. It's been 24 hours since I took my first dose (2 mg), and I have accomplished more in those 24 hours than I did during the entire 5 weeks I was off suboxone. Maybe not literally, but I swear, pretty close! No, I don't feel "high", I just feel normal. I can think clearly, I can make plans, I can look ahead (rather than behind), I CARE about the things I used to care about. All in 24 hours. I'm sure it's not all just the physical relief..... psycologicly I'm sure that much of it is simply my sense of relief knowing that when I wake up I can take my suboxone and feel like myself again for another day.

I really don't like knowing that I depend on a pill to function normally..... but then again, it's really no different than taking lipitor to lower colesterol or a beta-blocker to lower blood pressure.

Unfortunately, I have yet to tell my hubby. He's out of town on business, and due back tonight. I'm not looking forward to his reaction, but I can only hope that he will understand and be supportive. I know that he will be shocked and disappointed.... to an extent, I am as well. I thought that after 5 weeks I had it "licked."

I will keep you all updated, and I truly appreciate the support.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: update
PostPosted: Thu Jul 30, 2009 12:13 am 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 2:12 am
Posts: 3
Well it's the end of my second day back on suboxone, and I couldn't feel physically or mentally better. My energy level is back, and my mind is clear. I still have not told my husband because I just feel so darn good that I don't want to face his reaction. Maybe after a day or two of seeing my revitalized state of mind and body, he will accept the news a little better.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law is the person who encouraged me to get back on the suboxone. She is ultra supportive, and disagrees with my husband's negative opinion about suboxone. So if all else fails, she and I will have to face him head on and together. No man in his right mind would try to cross the two most important women in his life, particularly when they are presenting as a united front. :wink:


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Welcome and more...
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:25 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2009 10:37 pm
Posts: 9
Your experience with Suboxone sound very familiar. I had stopped Suboxone twice and now I have been back on the medicine for almost 2 months. I feel great compared to what was happening to my body and mind when I was taking pain pills and when I was temporarily sober. There are no plans to taper or stop taking this medicine for my addiction. This is a disease that is treatable in a way that Diabetes is treatable- by managing it. I feel NO guilt by being on Suboxone. When I stack up all of the junk that came along with the addiction to pain meds, this is obviously the safest and the most effective way of disease management. Support goups like this help too. I can understand how you felt when you decided to return to Suboxone treatment and the feeling of RELIEF when you took the medicine in the doctors office. It's nice to feel like a normal human being again isnt it? It's like returning from insanity to a level field of play where you can function. My best to you and remember to take your meds. Peace.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 13, 2009 12:54 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Dec 30, 2008 8:48 pm
Posts: 415
Location: Ohio
Hey LL-

Would love to hear from you.How are you doing?

_________________
"It is never too late to be what you might have been!" - George Eliot


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group