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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 2:06 am 
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So glad to find this group-- I know I need a lot of support to make it on suboxone, and after reading several threads here I feel like I can find support here.

Here's my story: I'm 55, was hooked on opiates on and off for years following pain management treatment in my late 20s for major back trouble. While being a respected professional in my field, I was doing all the usual pill-head things -- doctor-shopping; spurious emergency room visits; stealing meds from friends, family, neighbors, etc. At age 49 I was caught stealing from a family member, and -- as much to show the family I knew I had to do SOMETHING as because I was tired of the crazy see-saw -- I went into county-run methadone treatment (which I disliked for many reasons, not the least of which was it was geared toward court-ordered 20-somethings, not working adults). I was doing well there until I met a guy who wasn't exactly taking the program seriously... We became involved, and before I knew it I was smoking pot for the first time in 30 years, then he introduced me to heroin. Got thrown out of the methadone program, went to a different clinic for a while (thank you Obamacare for covering it!!!), all while wasting my salary, selling inherited knick knacks, and scrounging from family so me & my guy could get heroin. We finally broke up because together we just couldn't stay away from drugs and I started suboxone treatment. Did great for about a year, then he came back into my life and I relapsed so often the Dr. wasn't willing to treat me any more. Four months later, my therapist persuaded the Dr to take me back and I started up again last week (my ex, my only drug connection, is now on methadone). I'm really ready to stay clean and get my life back -- between a relationship that devolved into drug chasing and taking care of my elderly parents I have only been working very part-time, so I've become broke and almost completely isolated; I know I can't get a normal life back overnight, but I'm ready to start working on it.

Whew, I didn't mean to go on so long (and that's the short version!)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:08 am 
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Welcome Rab!
Thanks for sharing a little on what has led you to subs, I am glad you have found us!
We want you to get your life back too! It sounds like you have a solid chance if your ex remains in your past, not your present.
I am 4 yrs clean from heroin because of subs. No amount of sickness, willpower or poverty could stop me from using. Many of us feel we owe everything to subs and I will likely remain on subs forever.
You are not alone anymore!
I think It's great you are working part time, the wheels are already in motion. It will only get better!
What dose are you currently on and are you participating in any other meetings or programs?
Take care and keep posting! :)


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 21, 2016 5:36 pm 
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Hey rab welcome.

When I was in active addiction, I was in a relationship with another addict. He was my link to everything. He knew where to get any opiate I needed. I convinced myself I had to stick with him or I'd be extremely sick (that all changed later and of course I found my own ways and my own dealers). But two ppl using together is probably the most toxic relationship ever. It's the worst. We finally split ways and by then it was too late, I was far gone to stop. If I could give u advice on that, it'd be to stay away from ur ex....using, clean, whatever, I would leave him in the past regardless. He will forever be a trigger possibly. Don't let anyone come bk into ur life that could take u bk into that world again, we gotta be selfish with our recovery.

It took me awhile to get out of isolating myself in the beginning of my sub treatment. I know that stuck feeling. Ur pills are gone and ur left with...now what? But u can change that, it doesn't happen over night and it does take some effort but u can get past it for sure. Take any opportunity to get out of the house, grocery store, church, shopping, walks, meetings...anything will help that stuck feeling. Eventually you'll meet new ppl. Maybe eventually get some type of job, I know ur with ur elderly parents but maybe u can work around it somehow. Things will get better and easier. Ur not in active addiction anymore, that's a huge positive for u!! Try to see the positive in everything, that's what I did and still do. Right now I'm snowed in, this morning I thought...at least I'm not snowed in worried about withdrawal cause I can't get to my dealer. It immediately made me feel a lot better about the situation.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 10:49 pm 
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I, too, have had trouble keeping from being isolated. It started for me with active addiction. I was a hermit because I only cared about my next high, and I never used socially. When I went on sub I wasn't obsessed over my pills anymore (what a relief!), but home was my safe place. Eventually I began volunteering and working again and now I'm in school full-time. But Jenn and Katipo are right, you are not alone and things will get better! Just keep working at it. :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:08 pm 
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Thanks all for the welcome! I'm on 8/2 strips, 2x a day, which seems to hold off cravings. The best part about being snowed in last weekend was that though my dealer is just a few buildings over & will give me some on credit, I couldn't have gotten to him without a horse-drawn sled over the 2' of snow covering the parking lot!


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:18 pm 
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Your dealer? Is that where you get your subs? huh?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2016 8:36 pm 
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No, from what ive read here on this thread, i believe she is working a program and is rx from a DR....


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 8:40 pm 
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No, I get my subs from a doctor. I meant my former drug dealer.


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