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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 12:44 pm 
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Hi i am the husband of and addict who just recently told me of her opiate addiction.We have a severly handicapped child which has been very difficult on us both.She told me that she got on tabs about 4 years ago taking as many as 20 -30 a day after kidney stones. Then about 6 motnths ago she started on oc's eventually about 2 weeks ago she was up to 2 80's a day. Well i was understandbly knocked of my chair. I had a suspcion but really didnt know i found a pill crusher about 3 mos ago and then something called a "scraper" wihich is a hose clamp. I apologize i was very nieve to this all i have never been any kind of user other than the occasion beer after work. About a year ago i started rifling thru stuff around the house and was constantly un trustworthy of her now i look back.Should i have said something earlier i never found anything but something my gut kep telling me. She finally admited she was trying to quit in the past but got something called "dopesick".
We have been trying to get in a treatment facility but i dont really know how to take all of this. She started getting some subs of a friend of hers and she started with an 8 and then cut it down to a half and then a quarter this all in the process of about 2 weeks. Then down to about 1 mg. But after about 10 day she finally told me she didnt take one one day and bought a 2 10 mg tabs she said the didnt do anything but that this pain was 2 much only 1 tim she inow back on the subs but i am really worried this is tearing the family apart. I really want to trust my wife again and this is no way to live but i want to be there for her with out being too pushy i miss our family and sometime i want to give up but i think she really wants to quit some days and other days it is just like "why". I feel like shit for all the years i didnt know but i willing to forgive but i dont know if i can forget. This is tearing me and her apart Please help anyone !!!!!!


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 Post subject: Welcome to You Both....
PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 1:45 pm 
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Hi Forddog,
I would like to welcome you to the Forum. You will find quite a few people out here that want to help another addict. That's what Recovery is all about.... Helping another addict to Recovery!!!! The "Dope-Sick" that your wife is talking about is one of the Biggest if not the BIGEST fear of an addict.... At least it was for this addict! It is the onset of withdrawal symptoms that can that are so strong that the Addict (myself in this case ) would rather spend his kids college tuition, the Mortgage payment, his 401K plan and any other "Funds" he could get his hands on in order to "NOT GET DOPE-SICK" it is that powerful!!! I think it's great that you are here looking for help BUT you and your wife need to be in a professional setting getting professional counseling... Please try to get your wife to get on the forum and share it may help her to see she is by NO ways alone!! Take care of yourself and please know that it CAN get better with the right Help and determination there will be better day's ahead!! I wish the best for you and your family.....

God Bless
TW

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:12 pm 
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Hi forddog and welcome,

I'm sorry you're going through all this. I think it's great that you're reaching out to learn what you can in order to help and support your wife. Have the two of you talked about her getting in to see a sub doctor and really getting into recovery? That's what I would suggest. And like Twinply said, marriage counseling can help a lot. After I stopped using (and got on sub) my marriage was almost destroyed by my addiction. But we finally started marriage counseling and things are SO MUCH better now. It's been about 10 months now and we're still going, but we're much happier now together.

Do you know, is she just using her friend's sub between fixes or does she really want to get into recovery? One thing about addicts, they have to be the ones to decide to get "clean" (I hate that word). No one can force them into recovery. But if she's done with the lying, stealing, etc., to get her pills and wants to get her life back - or more accurately a new life, going to a sub doctor is a good place to start. Please know that once a person becomes addicted to opiates the brain changes. We can't go back, but we can move forward. I hope this makes some sense.

Again, welcome and I really find it inspiring how much you want to be there for her. We're here for her if she wants to join the forum as well as for you. Remember through all this to take care of yourself. I know you're in a tough spot. Hang in there.

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 2:31 pm 
Hi Forddog and welcome. It sounds like the good news is that your wife has gotten honest and WANTS to get off the pills, which really is half the battle. You said you were looking for a treatment facility. If your family is able to go this route and she is willing, that could be a very good option. For many, going away to treatment isn't possible (with kids, jobs, etc.). If that's the case I hope your wife can get a good Suboxne doctor where she can be in a supervised recovery. Having been around this forum awhile I have seeen that people who buy subs on the street and try do it themselves don't have much succes, not to mention it's dangerous. A good sub doc will properly induce her onto the medication, have some period of maintenece during which she can work on her issues and addiction triggers, and then at some point do a proper taper.
If she is willing, this is a good forum to join where she can get support from others on Suboxone treatment. I hope this helps. Good luck.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 12, 2010 7:17 pm 
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As Lilly said - self medicating with suboxone that friends have given you, etc. isn't really the answer.
In the beginning of a suboxone recovery the physician supervision is very important in terms of potential sucess and in terms of safety and comfort for your family member.
Whenever I hear people relate stories of how they failed on suboxone, most of the time it is because it was taken without medical supervision.

Treatment is almost a luxury for many people these days (as in the 28 day inpatient variety) but for many finding a suboxone doctor and sort of self-developing a program has worked miracles for many -- myself included.

Best of luck to you -- hang in there. There is, indeed light at the end of the tunnel !


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 14, 2010 12:24 pm 
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Thanks for the encouragement this is really weighing heavy on my mind it seems like every treatment center we go to is just about pay us and here you go. She really wants to talk to someone but it seems like everyone is just after money. She and I are both getting frustrated and I m scared she wants to give up. I feel It took a lot for her to get to this point and may all be for nothing. Please tell me I'm not going insane


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:58 am 
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I can't even begin to imagine what spouses go through when dealing with all this. Your not going insane. Those early days, when all the truths come out, are very chaotic. My wife and I also have a special needs son. It is a very difficult life to begin with and then throw an addiction on top is pure hell. My wife and I got through everything with lots of help (professional and family). I think we are stronger and happier now than ever before. It took time though and the first year was very shaky. I don't say that to scare you but just being honest. You have some hard work in front of you and things will never get back to "normal" but your family can be very happy again. Drugs were my way of dealing with my sons issues. You know how hard it is. I had to learn to raise him and deal with his problems without abusing drugs. I can tell I'm starting to talk in circles. My point is you and your wife can handle this, be patient. Absolutely find your wife a doctor to monitor her suboxone (if that's the route she wants to go). As everyone said before me, suboxone hardly ever works when getting it from the street or a friend. A doctor will figure out a proper dose and keep your there while she works on getting her family back in order. It's not made for two weeks and off, that will never work. Good luck.


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