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PostPosted: Thu Mar 24, 2011 11:25 pm 
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Liggy,

You obviously care very much about your ex, I am no couples therapist, I'm probably the furthest thing from it, but I have to wonder what you have to lose by telling him the truth now.....what's the worst he can do? You know I certainly don't want to be or sound cruel to you, but he's already left....telling him the truth about what WAS going on and what you are doing NOW with being on Suboxone can't hurt?? I'm trying to put myself in his position and I'm trying to figure out what I would be thinking right now if I were him.....at the very least, an explanation of your behavior over the past year or so would be a relief to me.....instead of being completely clueless as to why you were changing, I would at least have some understanding as to the why of it all. I don't know Liggy, I may be completely out to lunch here, but if it were me, I would welcome hearing the truth....I honestly couldn't tell you what would happen from there though?

I'm so glad that you were able to make it to your job on Day 1 AND Day 2 and I hope you keep making it day after day. I'm sure I'm not the only member here who wondered just how you were going to pull detoxing from poppies, inducting onto sub and starting a new job all within like 15 minutes of each other. You did WAY good!! I'm real proud of you!!

You said, "I wish you all well and nothing but the best and excuse my crazy BS- you guys are the only I know who I can pour it out to." Listen, you just keep pouring it out....I remember a really interesting comment I heard a while back about the forum. This person said, "this forum is just like doing a journal, but this journal talks back to me." I always thought that was a cool way to look at things!!

Please don't worry about where to post stuff, you're doing just great by continuing to post here.

Take care of yourself and hang in there!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:22 pm 
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I agree with Romeo, pouring out your tears and pouring out your thoughts are probably the best (and only) things you can do right now, so keep right on doing them for as long as you need to. At some point you will run into or talk to your ex, and you are going to be a changed person. But you really can't focus on that now. Just make sure you keep your job and find a place to live! Feel free to keep postin and let us know how it's going. How do you feel on the Sub?
Take care,
Lilly


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 25, 2011 1:46 pm 
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My Opinion:

Tell him the truth, you owe that to HIM and YOURSELF, but especially HIM!

It can't get worse, and you will see if he is there for you through thick and thin, as you say you would be for him. If not, it wasn't meant to be, by definition, right??

Best,
Psych


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:06 pm 
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Hi guys it's me again...

Well first off I want to say thank you to anyone who took the time to respond to anything I have written here. Your time is valuable and you don't even know me and I have to say that even taking the time to type a few words really touches me no matter what your opinion is. I am certainly not used to the "kindness of strangers" in fact I have taken to avoiding people as a whole because I find it very hard to just find nice people who will listen. Most of my life someone always wants something...like right now while I am going through this "entire new life" thing the thing I need the most is friends. The last thing I want is to jump into some other man's arms for comfort after a 10 year relationship when I still totally love my ex and I can't even begin to think about seeing other people anytime soon and it really sucks that someone who I thought was my very best male friend of 17 years (of course I lack female companionship which makes it hard when all your friends are guys) decided to tell me "well I have been in love with you for so long but you always had a boyfriend maybe WE can be happy together" when I really needed someone to talk to this weekend really messed my brain up again. Of course this person also has no idea I am on the sub fighting not one but two huge battles- the battle of sobriety and the battle of getting over a shattered heart of my doing. There was a reason I never dated this person, I guess the biggest being I could never love him intimately (I do love him madly as my dearest friend) but I also never wanted to screw up our friendship. Every "friend" I ever dated turned out to be not so friendly in the end. It kind of sucks that he said this to me at this point when I am at my weakest and lowest and he is my oldest and dearest friend. So now that I know he is hoping for more I am afraid of even turning to him when I need someone. I had to tell him "I'm sorry I just CAN'T and probably never will.." but it didn't stop the uncomfortable texts like "you will feel better when you have some NAMEHERE loving.." Anyway, that is why I am here amongst my "subbies" just letting it out. I have realized I keep so much in and hide so much of what I am feeling from people that when I spew it all out over this board I do feel better...and maybe it will stop someone else from being as idiotic as me and losing everything.

Work has been good...I have to say it is good to be working and making money again, even if I have no one to share it with at the end of the day. It certainly keeps me busy enough for 8 hours a day to be able to stop the absolute stupid crying I can't seem to escape when I am at home. I still may be totally screwed though- I have 18 days to get out of this place and try to find somewhere else so I can keep this job. I am thinking I may just have to go to the landlord and beg him to take mercy on me and put me on the lease and lower the rent 100 or 200 bucks since it will just be me now. With everything going on- trying to ease into this new full time job and trying to get my emotional shit together moving is the last thing I can handle. Of course if I have to then I must such is life we rarely get to do what we really want. So wish me luck on that one I would appreciate it.

Home is bad...getting used to being totally alone after 10 years is super hard. Sleeping alone is the worst. It does maybe get a millionth of a millimeter easier every day but it is slow going. The weekends are awful...and I still can't get myself to want to get up and go meet people. Hell I turnd my phone and computer off Friday night and didn't look at them until today...not that anyone called ha ha. I will have to join society at some point if I want to get out of this lonely shithole I put myself in. Add that to the fact that my plumbing went haywire and now when my neighbor uses his shower my bathroom sink fills up and water hits the floor...I came home to a lovely flooded surprise and I don't have the cash to call a plumber yet and I used to have a guy here to fix that stuff for me. On top of that add my car breaking down the starter is shot...I feel like I can't get a break! I have to remember how lucky I am that I don't need poppies anymore. Every night before I go to bed my brain still says "hey..uh...you better make sure you secretly have your "stuff" ready for tomorrow" and "do you have enough "stuff" for the work week?" at least I don't have to worry about all that anymore. Thank the maker on that one. I gotta find that zest and skill I had for hiding drug accition and put it into something positive. Ackkk...

And as all of you have rightly pointed out- I do owe my ex some kind of explanation. We have had to talk once or twice about all the shit we need to separate- like the cell phones, the gym membership, the xbox accounts but I have chickened out every time. As I said before he has a brother who is an IV heroin addict and has been for over 10 years. My ex is very lucky he has the kind of parents who will bail out their kids in any situation. Which is why my ex was able to walk out on me in a matter of days- his dad had no problem co-signing a lease and plopping down the cash for a new place. Must be nice...anyway his brother ran off to las vegas and was living as junkie in some homeless desert camp for most of our relationship. My ex had pretty much written him out of his life but when the brother called his parents about a year ago they said "sure- come on home and go to rehab for 10th time we will pay for it" and they did some kind of rapid at home detox thing for a like week that cost over 10,000 bucks and he never did get any other kind of therapy or meetings so he ended up back on heroin/methadone/oxy again- (If I only had some of the chances he gets) in fact HIS ex girlfriend called me up one night about a month ago crying and said "he got arrested with a needle and H I had no idea he used this stuff" and the brother somehow convinced her to pay the 3,000 bail and cover the whole thing up. His mom and dad still don't know- He still lives with his parents, is still using, asks everyone he knows for money "Can I have 10 bucks?", drives a car his parents pay for, works a part time job his Dad got him, his parents will send him to any school he wants to go to, will help start any career he wants, would give him any help/rehab he asked for and at 33 he continues to be useless. Being an addict myself I can't hate him for being one and I can understand how he feels but He is also very, very, mean when is junked out and the lies he tells are just so obvious he can't keep them straight. It is very obvious he hates himself and his life but his family always has that "it isn't my fault it is everything and everyone else" attitude so he feels the same way- the world did this to him. It is funny though my ex knows he is doing this and won't tell the parents. He just says "well if my brother wants to use and be an idiot that is his problem" but I always find it very strange that he just accepts this behavior from his brother and thinks it is ok that his brother is lying to and using his parents every day. Of course, I was using and lying every day too- I was just able to barely support my own habit with never asking anyone for money- that was part of my problem I had just enough to take care of myself, and pay my own personal bills but not enough to help with rent. Pretty messed up of me, huh? If only I could take it all back and turn back the clock and start sub 6 months ago. Not only that but the brother may kill himself with that needle one day you would think my ex wanted his brother to live. To each his own, it isn't my business and I am not a part of the family anymore so I never said anything to the parents plus the brother may have done me physical harm if I was the one to "out" him....but part of this "whatever" attitude from my ex makes me terrified to tell him. Yes, it is an excuse. I feel he will use it as more of a reason to get the hell away even further. Maybe I am wrong. He put up with me for 10 years but he also shut down completely and walked out to my complete shock all in one day. I know if he came home and said "honey I gotta tell you..I have this problem with opiates" I would still love him and want to get him help and do it together. I honeslty think my ex has wanted out for awhile and I just can't see him saying "Oh that was what it was? Well let's fix this together" at this point. But as you all say if I am turning a new leaf and being a better person and getting rid of lying, shit head, Liggy I gotta tell him...right? I am just so scared and I just don't know. It takes a very special person to want to deal with the healing of an opiate addict. Most people I know would say "get away from shit as fast as you can". I don't know maybe thinking this is telling me we weren't meant to be together, that maybe he could never love me enough to deal with this. Should I wait longer until I am doing so well- with my own place, own job, own life and THEN say "well I have something to tell you and I beat it" or do I just break down and tell? Keeping secrets like this does suck...I am just so confused. I have told him that "I do have a problem and I am seeing someone about it" but he thinks it is just therapy for depression. I never told him that I let him assume. SO he knows I am getting some kind of help...

Anyway, sorry so long of a rant. I am just letting it out and as I said if my story helps anyone else then it wasn't for naught. I feel so normal on the sub..that is a miracle in my life right now but now I am getting worried about getting addicted to the sub and fight a whole other battle. I suppose at this point I need to not worry yet about that. Thank you all, and I wish you all the best and happiness you can take!
Liggy


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 7:07 am 
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Thanks for the update, Liggy. I'm glad it's therapeutic for you to vent like this. As for as becoming addicted to suboxone, I don't believe that can happen unless you are abusing it. Remember what you did and who you became because of the poppies and remember what you are becoming because of the sub. And focus on the difference. That difference is dependence vs addiction.

Regarding the ex, I still think you should wait until you are a bit stronger. If it were me, I would then write a letter. That way, you can word things the way you want and think those words out thoroughly. Plus I also believe it would be easier to tell him via a letter. Then it can sink in slowly for him and prevent any cruel, knee-jerk reactions on anyone's part. That's how I would do it.

Again, try to ease up on yourself. I know it's hard coming off a long relationship. Try to remember what it was like before that relationship and the things you've always liked in yourself. Find the things you enjoyed doing by yourself. Old hobbies you haven't done in a while. Or find new ones. Try to keep busy. Isolation and boredom fosters depression. And when you're not online here, journal at home, too.

I'm glad you keep updating us and that you're still doing relatively well on the suboxone. You'll keep getting stronger over time. When I first started sub, although I felt different right away, it took me a good couple of months to really get my head screwed on straight. And I was also in therapy during that time. So give yourself some time and understand you will need that time.

Good luck and keep on keeping us posted.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 10:56 am 
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Liggy,

Don't push yourself to tell him. I've already mentioned that if I were you, I would tell him the truth, but I would also do it in my time. You'll know when the time is right, no one else here is in your shoes, no one else can tell you when to tell him. You're the only one in this whole world who knows when the time will be right to tell him.

I hear ya on the plumbing going haywire and your starter on your car being shot. For some stupid ass reason, it seems that when we're beat down, life decides to throw a few more curve balls at us. Been there, done that. Keep your head up. Try to think of what you have instead of what you don't. I know that's hard to do, I think it's human nature to focus on what we don't have. The more you can get your head to think 'good' thoughts, the less room there will be for the 'bad' thoughts. Again, I know it's hard as hell to do this, but it does help!!

Good luck on getting the apartment fiasco straightened out.

Stay strong and keep ranting!! :D


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 1:31 pm 
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Hi Liggy,
If you are renting an apartment, it's really the landlord's responsibility to call a pumber and pay for it, so I would call him ASAP. You might even be able to use ongoing plumbing issues as leverage to get your rent reduced.

I can understand why you're directing a lot of resentment at your ex's brother at this point. He's an addict that's been getting bailed out left and right, and then you became addicted and just got walked out on. I can see how that would hurt. Whether your ex would have had more compassion for you if he had known is hard to say.
If he is competely cutting all ties with you I really don't see why you owe him an explaination. However, if you WANT him to know what was going on with you, or if you are going to have some sort of ongoing contact, then maybe you will want to tell him. But that's totally up to you. As others said, don't stress about it right now.

As for your old friend who wants to become romantic, that's a tough one. It sounds like you told him upfront that that's not what you're looking for. I sounds like he's not getting the message and I'm sure you don't want to hurt him. I would tell him again that you don't want to jepordize a 17 year friendship by getting romantically involved, especially when you're rebounding from a 10 year relationship. If you make it clear upfront that youre not leading him on, then if he wants to keep hanging around that's up to him.

I hope I'm not giving you un-asked for advice. I guess it's just the Mom in me. By the way, do you have any family? If you have a decent relationship (and I know a lot of us addics don't) now would be a good time to ask for some support.
Hang in there - just not using is a huge accomplishment.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 29, 2011 9:40 pm 
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Hey guys thanks once again for replying to my rants. Its funny I come from work and come stright here...I usually cry all the way home from work because I can't blow up at work and gotta keep it in all day and when I get home and come here at least I can cry tears of appreciation from all the kindness you are giving me. To be honest I am SO sick of crying. I feel like such a baby and I hate to re-hash over and over again. It seems to be a bad habit I have even my mother gets tired of listening to me so I keep it in and it turns into a festering poison. I feel like I have a toxic black cloud growing in my heart, body and soul. It is so hard to just get any emotional relief I can't turn my brain off. Even when I am supposedly doing something I love I am just going through the motions I feel like I have a blanket of sadness around me and I can't get it off. I am not very fun to be around who wants to listen to some chick moan about her stupid problems she can't get over we all have problems and I know mine are very far from the worst. I am not really enjoying anything but I have to get on my knees and thank whatever is out there that I am able to go to work and not have to worry about feeding my monster of an addiction anymore. Who knows what would have happened or where I would be right now had I not got the subs. It is so nice not to have to think about those stupid poppies- if I ever see another one again I may just try to destroy the universe I am so mad at myself for letting this happen. I certainly owe a few of you a PM- I am not ignoring you I just write so much here it is hard to keep going once I hit submit but I also owe you a little back- people taking time to write me really, really, makes me feel good so thank you and I owe you all the same ears and heart you give me and I am very interested in all of you as well. I guess right now I am being extra selfish it is so hard to care about anything. I will have an "ok" day and then like today a bad day where I just want to quit the job and go home to mommy and daddy and give up entirely. I know I can't yet- I have to at least try to get up on my feet but a huge part of me doesn't care and doesn't really want to. The best day I had was the first day of subs and work where I was so amazed it worked I could not believe it. Since then I let it sink in that I will not get sick anymore its like my brain said "ok now you can be double upset about being alone for the first time in 10 years." And yes change is good but I didn't want this change..not at all. But I have no choice I must deal with it. The few of you who take the time to read my crap really touch me. No one here is giving me any kind of unwanted advice. I am here posting my life for all to see and I welcome any opinion if it is good or bad and I welcome any advice because taking my own advice didn't get me anywhere except a giant step backward in my life except I am 10 years older....I still feel like I am 12 or something. As for the landlord and the plumbing- he is kind of a "slumlord" my place is nice enough and the complex is nice but he takes in tennants with bad credit and makes them give him 12 months worth of rent checks in advance and allows multiple dogs of any size. My apartment was also once a 2 bedroom but he sealed off the door to one room and made it into a studio which is also totally illegal plus the guy who lives there sells weed so he is always home and always playing loud techno music and always has 10 people over for a party in one little room I hear everything he does our walls our so thin. This is totally illegal but was how we ended up here because even though my ex majored in economics he has always been horrible with money. I never understood it myself when I had to support us from time to time I paid the bilss on time. He actually makes good money and paying the bills here should not be a problem at all but he just wastes and wastes and doesn't watch his bank account. Since my own father was such a strong male role model I never bugged him about it I figured he is 4 years older then me he knows what he is doing. Mistake..we would get up in the morning and realize the phones were turned off and I would say "here I have some money lets both pay it and he would say "well we owe them 500 bucks I paid it 3 months ago" and I would be like "WHAT? Why didn't you just tell me you didn't pay it we could have done something we can't pay 500 now!" and he would just say "I forgot". I suppose I should have taken control but I felt too guilty since I wasn't helping enough. So I guess in hindsight he feels it is my fault he screwed himself when yea, I should have paid the rent, but I did work for 8 years and paid the rent and got laid off and then had the "bad year" as I said he makes good money and when I did a budget there was no reason he could not have paid the house bills, his own bills and still be able to save a grand or maybe 2 a month. In the 10 years we were together I never took money from him, even up until he walked out I was able to pay all my own personal bills like my health and car and storage unit and personal items like clothes, shampoo, etc and I bought all the groceries and dog food for us. So I guess we had some huge communication problems to begin with. I always felt too bad to say anything the last year and he just ignored the bills. So now he is "getting his life back together" I don't blame him but I had my super plan to save everything- now that I work I was happy to be able to pay half of everything...now we both have to pay full rents and bills and it will be hard. But back to the plumbing- since the landlord has our rent check ahead of time I can't just call a plumber and take it out of the rent. He has to be able to decide it is ok and if he deems it something he should pay for then he will wait and issue ME a check later. Also I think he has health problems no one has seen him in awhile. I don't have all this extra money laying around to play these games. But- as you all said I am gonna try and talk to him about staying a couple extra months my place will be very hard to rent out with the illegal studio with weed party man on one side and on the other two 19 year kids who are DJs and just moved in and now constantly blast club music into my bedroom, living room and kitchen and it starts as early as 7:30 am and goes all day until 5:30 AM. The same 3 songs over and over...and they are very mean and rude they make snide comments at my window when they walk by even though I was very nice to them about asking them to please turn down the bass at 7:30 am. I am not a "snitch" by nature or a cop caller and whoever lives here next will be nowhere near as nice as me. So maybe I deal with flooding and music and be able to keep a roof and my job for a couple months. I just really want some time to let all this sink in and figure it all out. Sigh well here I wrote another huge rant...but I feel better. Thanks so much you guys at least I can say i am not using poppies and I make it every day to work even though I just want to hide in bed. Hopefully tomorrow will be a little better...
as always, I thank you so much, I wish you all the best, and beg you reading to not become me. Learn from me and my mistakes I don't wish this on anyone. Love and hugs and thanks,
Liggy


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:08 am 
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Hey liggy,

I wanted to mention, as I'm sure you know, that you're not the only one who has ever had a relationship go completely south on you. I know when I have extremely crappy things happen to me, it seems like I feel all alone in the fact that I'm the only one going through it. Well, let me tell you, you're not the only one going through something like this, OK? You are NOT alone. You're grieving. Grieving is a process. It has well defined phases that you will go through, but know that you will make it through. In case you're not aware, here are the commonly accepted 5 stages of Grief. Denial, Anger, Bargaining (if he were to do this, I would do that), Depression and finally comes Acceptance. Just because there are pretty well defined phases doesn't mean you will progress one by one through them, you may bounce around among the phases and you may find yourself in two phases at once, but generally speaking, you'll proceed through them as listed.

I know from reading your posts that you're a good person. It comes flying through in your writing how nice you are, it's plenty evident that you're a good person. Don't think for a minute that you're not a good person. You made some mistakes, who among us hasn't?? Everyone makes mistakes, everyone makes some real big mistakes too, shit happens dude.

I hope you realize that you're not alone, you may feel alone at times, but you are certainly not alone. Do you realize that this thread you started has 1095 views as of this moment? There's a boat load of people reading your story. There's a boat load of people learning from your story and I know you desire for people to learn from your mistakes. Out of that over 1000 people, I wonder how many you have helped and you don't even know it?

You're in the middle of the grieving process, it takes time, there are no short cuts. Keep doing what you're doing, let it out, do NOT let those feelings fester. Type those suckers out, it's therapeutic.

Take care!


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 30, 2011 10:34 am 
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Again, Romeo took the words right out of my mouth. You are grieving, not just for the loss of your partner, but also for the loss of your best friend, poppy. That's a lot all at once and you can't put a time limit on it. So don't kick yourself for coming home crying or telling others your problems. To be honest, you sound extremely rational in re: the money, the job, the apartment. You're gonna be OK.
Lilly


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 Post subject: poppy seed tea - me too
PostPosted: Sat Sep 29, 2012 10:50 pm 
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Liggy, thank you SO MUCH for posting your inquiry in the first place, and for following up on your experience inducting to suboxone after poppy pods.

I have a significant history w addiction. in 1998 i was arrested and spent some time in jail for methamphetamine abuse, which i smoked daily for 3 years. that stuff is powerfully addictive, but not dependence-causing. I never had wd symptoms in jail. I quit back then, and never touched it since. I was mostly sober since then as well. I had a short (6 month-sh) battle w alcohol while in nursing school, where i originally used it for anxiety, never realizing it was causing me more anxiety in the long run. again, i quit that by moving in w my sober best friend, and stayed there until last july. back in nursing school, i made fast friends w a fellow ex-meth user, and of course we shared stories, etc. she still craved every now and again, i never did. but I admitted to her that i loved vicodin. well, she had a neverending supply of norco 10/325s, and over the years until last july i would trade my vics for her norcos (she doesn't have a problem believe it or not, she takes them as needed only, and normal doses. sometimes half), or buy some from her and enjoy myself. I always played carefully, to not develop a dependence, but my tolerance went through the roof over the years. I usually would buy 8, take 5, then an hour later take the other 3. I'd wait for a couple days, (again, avoiding dependence), then do it again. sometimes i'd buy 16 and go for the whole day, or space it out over 2. over the beginning of this year, i began to experiment w poppy seed tea and enjoyed myself, never realizing just how extremely long the opioids from tea stayed in your system. When she moved away, I said to myself, next week, I'll set a goal date to not do this anymore (which I had been dying to succeed at, but when you have influences around, you can't be successful - I thought her moving away would be what i needed). so for a week, I dosed w poppy seed tea every other day. well, since I'd been using for so long, one week of having opioids in my system 24/7 (due to the half-life of the poppy tea) was all it took to tip me over into dependence.

I didn't realize i was dependent at first, I thought i just had food poisoning. but since it just kept getting worse, and there was also so much anxiety involved, it occured to me that I may have become dependent. i told my daughter the next morning after a sleepless night, "I need to shake this off, lets go to the beach". before the beach, I stopped at the store where I got my seeds and made a quick tea in the trunk while she played on the iphone in the car. after about 1/2 hr at the beach, i was much better physically, but emotionally i was crap. i didn't know where to turn to, didn't have anyone i could tell, my daughter needed a better example in life than a junkie, etc. etc. etc., this was in july this year. since then, I have been dosing once a day, w about 2 lbs of seeds for each dose, and my whole life revolved around finding and securing the seeds. i was ashamed every time i would go to the store for them, but didn't know what the hell else to do.

a friend had been through similar experience, never realizing the pain meds she was on fr a few months were dependence forming, and ended up having to go to a subox doc. i contacted her in tears, and she set me up w contact info and advice for a subox doc 3 hrs away, but at least it was something. I'd been working up the money for about 4 weeks yesterday, when I finally just broke down and cried when i got to the store and the bin for poppy seeds was empty, and had been since i cleared it out 3 days ago. i sat in the parking lot and called every subox doc in monterey, until i found one who would see me asap. they even stayed open for their lunch hour so as not to make me wait another 1.5 hrs before they would see me. I walked out w a script, but was terrified of precip wd, and was already doing so horribly in early wd.

everywhere i went on line, all talked about how hard it was switching from extended release pills, and methadone, due to the half-lives. nobody had anything on switching from poppy tea, until i found your post. my last dose was 8 am yesterday morning, and it was too small to take away the wd completely, but i could at least function. i used the COWS scoresheet, and kept panicking about when to start. there would be moments where i was firmly into moderate wd, but then my nose would clear, and i'd drowse comfortably fr a while and go back to only mild. it was only because of your post, that I finally forced myself to take the 1st half-strip at 5pm today. that was 33 hrs after my last dose of tea. i noticed only marginal improvement, but at least i wasn't in precipitated wd. i called the doc after an hour for advice, and he confirmed that I was indeed in the clear away from pwd, and that I could take another 1/2 strip. now, I'm now mostly ache-free, can shower, can pick up after myself, and can focus enough to type this long reply.

I just want you all to know just how valuable this has been for me to be able to read the OP, and her follow-ups, and all the helpful replies to her as well. I'm in tears as i write this, and was inspired to make my username 'freeatlast" because that's how i feel. thank you thank you thank you, so much for reaching out in the public eye, and for those who met her w answers. it's been more help than anyone not going through all this could comprehend. thank you. I feel so good, that i was brave enough to tell 2 friends already, who were shocked (I'm a responsible, functioning registered nurse, a father to a 13 yo girl, pay rent, volunteer a lot, ref for a roller derby team, etc. they both found it hard to believe) but supportive and proud of me. I'm proud of me too.

thank you! xoxox


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 7:16 am 
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Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hello there Freeatlast! Welcome to the forum!!!

Thank yo so much for sharing your story with us. I really enjoyed reading that. You should be proud!!!
I am proud of you too!!! What a story you have there. Quite the journey. Congratulations on beginning
your journey on the road to recovery.

I am glad to hear that this forum was able to help you get started on that journey. We do have some great
people here, and this truly is a very supportive forum! Feel free to post as often as you need to.

Again, thank you for sharing your story with us, and WELCOME to the forum!!!!![/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 30, 2012 9:03 pm 
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Hi freeatlast. Congratulations for getting into recovery, and I'm glad you found us here on this forum. I would strongly suggest you copy your whole post and post it in the introductions section where people will see it. This thread is well over a year old and the OP is no longer here as far as I know. Also, poppy tea, where you use the pods with the dried opium in them and poppy "seed" tea are two different animals - so you would want to start a new thread anyway.
Maybe a moderator could move your post and the replies? In any case, I wish you well and keep us posted on how you are stabilizing with the Suboxone.
Lilly


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