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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:18 am 
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Hey gang,

My name is Chris and I have been struggling with pill addiction for years. I went to rehab about five years ago and was clean up until about a year ago. I would binge a week then off a month. So on and so on. One of my NA buddies introduced me to subs about 3 months ago. I would take about 1mg daily. I tried to stop about 3 weeks ago and it was and the wds started. So of course I used my DOC until I could get more subs. I got five 8mg films and spread them out over the next two weeks. My last dose was last sat (1 week ago today.) I was also taking tramadol the last week before I stopped. My last dose was Monday (5 days ago.) I really thought I would be feeling better by now. I'm feeling a little better everyday, and the pain isn't as bad as reg OP wd, but it still makes to hard to bear. I'm starring to feel like it won't need. Can anyone give me any support, advice?

On a personal note. I having the best two and 1/2 year old son that I would die for, and a loving wife. She is being supportive as possible. I own my own biz and we are now into our busy season.

oh one more thing I went to the Dr. and he put me on Clonidine .2mg twice a day for 14 days and ambian for sleep.

Thanks
CB


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 11:29 am 
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A little more info. The w/ds started full blown Monday, a little under 48 hours form my last dose.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 12:33 pm 
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Hey Chris! Welcome to the forum! We're glad you're here.

After reading your story I have a few concerns, but I also want to point out that you have a lot going for you. The fact that you have a supportive spouse is wonderful. You obviously have some support from your NA ties too. Do you go to regular meetings? Also, it sounds like there might be a discernible pattern to your use, but only you know that for sure. Is the impulse to use stronger when your stress level goes up? If you can figure out your triggers, you can find ways to short circuit those triggers so that the result isn't inevitable use of pills.

My concern comes from the perception that you are no doing anything different to stop your abuse of pills. You're using suboxone as a stop gap measure, but not really as it's intended. I am assuming from your current withdrawal that you want to be 100% opiate free, which is a great goal. But it's obvious that the tools that worked for you for 4 years aren't enough anymore, whether it's because of the increased stress with your business or something else. If you are expecting to be opiate free, but you haven't added any tools to your recovery, you are setting yourself up for major difficulty. If you don't want the tool to be regular suboxone use, you need to figure out something else. Perhaps regular counseling with an addiction therapist.

As for your current withdrawal, time is the only thing that makes you feel much better, although the clonidine and ambien can be very helpful. I can't really help you gauge how quickly you'll be back to your "normal" self, because you've used sub and your drug of choice sporadically. Maybe someone else will come along with more experience in this area.

I wish you the best! I hope that you feel better every day and that you can resist the temptation to use. As you've probably learned by now, however, you can't rely on simple will power to get you through. It's time to up your game!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 1:01 pm 
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thanks AMY!
That your post really helps. You are right, and I know exactly why I relapsed. I stopped using my support groups. I go to na but I wasn't honest with myself. Thats my main problem. I'm such a people pleaser that I always put on the happy face. I don't wont to let anyone down. By doing so I lie to myself and fail.

I'm getting ready to hit the steps hard, and the biggest change is that I have been completely honest with my wife.


I'm getting very discouraged that it is taking this long. I've been through wds many a time and by know I'm fine. Looks like there is a long way to go yet. I'm hanging in there for now.

Thanks


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 9:20 am 
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Tidy is day eight. I think I feel asleep around 1am and woke up at around 4. I took my morning dose of clonidine and slept a couple more hours. The rls was bad. Still no energy, but I hope the need is near. I'm trying to stay positive.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 2:06 pm 
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You can do this! You're going to get through the withdrawal, it's only a matter of time! :)

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 11:02 pm 
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Welcome crack.... One thing, you did not mention how much sub you were on when you stopped? Most people taper way way way way low, if they really expect to avoid any serious withdrawl. Like 1/8mg. NOT 1/8 sub strip, some strips are 8mg, some are 2mg.... If you can taper your daily dose to less than 1mg, you will likely suffer less. This may not matter now as it seems you have stopped taking sub. GOOD FOR YOU. I encourage you to read theu the stopping suboxone section to see how others are doing it. Everyone is different, has different methods and different WD's too. I wish you ONLY the best. I know how difficult your situation is. Remember the steps........sincerely....K


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:20 pm 
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Hi there....

I'm hoping things are starting to look up for you. I personally am on day 65 and its quite the journey. I'd ask the same as the above posters on more of your history, but id rather not sound like a broken record :) they're all very good questions.

What are you doing to nurse and help relieve yourself? I cannot stress enough how much certain things can help you throughout this.

Good luck to you and get back to us. We are always here and have been in the same boat as you! Don't give up!

Keep your head up bud :wink:


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 08, 2013 6:33 pm 
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Hey guys
Thanks so much for the advice and support! Some more info is was on the subs for about 3 months and I didn't do much of a taper. The last 8mg strips I got lasted about 2 weeks. I'd say I was around 1mg or so. My normal dosage was about 1/4 of the 8mg strip. However, I did start to iv them. That's what made me realize that I was. Using them as a drug and not a tool for getting sober. Today is day 9 and it's still pretty rough. I did break down and take some small doses of kratrom yesterday and today, but Im afraid that it will only prolong the wd so I tossed the rest of it. Its been a tough ride. I'm hanging in there but it's getting old. My dr. gav me clonidine and ambien to help and they have. Hopefully I'll wake up happy one day soon. Thanks again. One hour at a time! Ha


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 7:22 pm 
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Well another day is winding down. Today has been up and down. I got about 3 hours of sleep then woke up took my morning clonidine then got about two more hours. I awoke with the usual wd panic but not as intense. I didn't have to work today so it has been very hard counting the mins. I did go for a short hike and had a long visit with an na buddy. My main mistake was trying to take a nap this afternoon. When I woke up from it I felt like hell. I'm watching my son until its time for my meeting. I'm so ready to enjoy playing with him again. I hope the kratrom didnt set me back much. This sucks but got to make it.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 8:43 am 
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Another moring. I'm trying to be very positive. The wd is less this morning so maybe it's starting to let up. I've been doing it differant this time I got a sponsor and am actully workin on recovery. This has been the worst wd ever because of the length of time. My wife is feed up with it, almost as much as me. Let's hope the wd goes away some this afternoon.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 3:04 pm 
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Hey Cracker245,

It sounds like things are getting better and better for you as the days go by. You didn't say how much Sub you were taking before you stopped but my guess is it wasn't very much. By jumping back and forth maybe your body didn't get too used to the Sub and the rest of your recovery won't be bad.

I can't stress it enough, stick with your NA meetings to work on your addiction issue. You're off the merry go round right now and you can stay off it if you just push yourself to go. Recovery is not easy but it does sound like you are doing something about it. Great job!

Keep posting your progress. It's good for you and us. We all like a success story.

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:00 pm 
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I'm glad you're checking in with us everyday! Even if I don't respond every time, I am reading about your progress and sending good thoughts your way. You're definitely on the downward slope of this. I know it's frustratingly slow, but think of it this way. With any major illness or surgery it would take a few weeks to feel back to your old self. Your brain is healing, slowly but surely. Try to be patient with yourself! :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 9:56 am 
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Hey cracker! (I get to say that outloud?!) LOL JFK :)

I hope yer hanging in there!!!! I'm sorry I haven't been on in a few days. I've had my own run for my money this past week.

Are you starting to feel any changes? Getting the waves yet? Rooting for you! Ill post again later


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 8:23 pm 
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Hey there guys

Today is day 14.

Things are getting better but Im getting very sick of the anxiety. It has gotten a lt milder but it's still there. Prayer/meditation have help in the mornings when I wake with the wd panic.

But there is an upside. My body itself feels pretty good. The Rls is gone. Stomach is pretty better. I'm back to work, it sucks but I'm there. I'm trying to be positive! More to come...


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 8:45 am 
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Today is much better. The alarm clock actully woke me up this morning instead of the wd. I wish I could have slept in a little but I had to go to work. I would have gone to bed much earlier if I would have known I had to work this morning. I'm feeling better every day.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:33 am 
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Hey Cracker!

It sounds like your feeling better this morning! Hang in there, you are doing a great job! :D

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PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 10:42 am 
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Great news... Hope things are improving drastically every day... keep moving forward. It gets good then great....


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 1:02 pm 
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Thanks guys. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I've stopped all wd Meds. I was so tired yesterday. I checked my BP and it was 100/50. The clonidine did its job I guess! Feeling much better today. I have small waves of anxiety but nothing like before. It's been a long couple of weeks.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 6:22 pm 
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That it has been a long, couple of weeks for you! Seems like you're doing great. Keep up the hard work and keep your head up, because that light that you see at the end of the tunnel is coming your way!

Good job dude, I'm happy for you.

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