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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 5:31 am 
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Karen123 wrote:

Anyway, I thought it through what "cold turkey" would be like to this and also remembered what a few have already posted during their taper (which I agree) - is this what I "need" or more what I "want"? I realized why I stayed at 1mg for so long - this very thing. With God's grace, I chose to give it to Him and didnt take the sliver. Im so glad I did that as that "event" passed and I actually had a decent day /evening that night despite.
.


Hey Karen! Wow, that is SO awesome that you caught yourself, thought things through, trusted God and made that difficult choice! Isn't that empowering? I can really hear a new, more hopeful and focused "tone" in your posts- keep doing what you are doing!!
XO
RCA


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 5:58 am 
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Morning Update

Hmmmm, wondering if I have gone "over board" with my "Sleep is my mistress/ bedfellow" metaphor?? Nah, not far enough over board for me yet anyway!! ha ha ha

So, "Sleep" and I have arrived at a new understanding, and have decided to take our relationship to the next, deeper level. The struggles ended last night as we relaxed into each other's arms for 6 1/2 lovely undisturbed hours. My apologies, my love, for all the nasty names I've called you!! Thank you for finally coming back "full circle" to the lady I know you can be!

Seriously though, I had the best night's sleep since I dropped below 1mg last night! I have a little bit of loosely "scientific" proof because I use a "sleep app" that charts my sleep quality, and displays it on a line graph over time. Before dropping to 1mg, my sleep quality based on time in bed and sleep cycles, was assessed at between 70-90%. From the beginning of May when I joined this forum and dropped from 2mgs to 1mgs, the graph just plummets down to 25-30%. Last night my sleep was assessed at 71%! Booya!! Wow, what a difference I'm feeling today! Much more clear and stable.

I really truly feel "normal" today (well, as normal as I get anyway- hahaha). Zero wdls, and I didn't even take any clonidine yesterday or last night!! I did take a little xanax at about 6pm, and a VERY little piece of Trazadone, but that is fewer night time meds than I have been taking regularly, so my sleep was more "natural" last night (I like a "natural" woman- hahaha)

On the "home front" there is peace in the house, which gives me peace in my heart. The "relationship issues" have not all been worked out, but the "drama" has subsided for now anyway, and that is a huge relief. I still don't think I am ready for another drop just yet though...I think I need a few more days to recover from the emotional stress so I feel stronger.

Don't really have a "thought" or "quote" today....I do feel more hopeful though, that jumping will be similar to this last drop to .375mgs, about a week or so of discomfort, then "sweet relief" and "normalcy" after that. This gives me hope, and I hope that my thread will also be encouraging to others who are on the "slow taper" boat.
XO
rca


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 9:56 am 
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Glad to hear that your taper is coming along well, rca.

BTW I thought that the 'sleep god' (Morpheus) was a guy, hmmm. Maybe Morpheus goes both ways?

-- JI

Edit: I just Googled 'Morpheus,' who is in fact the god of dreams. He is the son of Somnus (which sounds like 'somnolent, a close cousin of 'sleep'). Sounds like you're in the middle of a pretty complicated romance, lol.

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-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:15 am 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
Glad to hear that your taper is coming along well, rca.

BTW I thought that the 'sleep god' (Morpheus) was a guy, hmmm. Maybe Morpheus goes both ways?

-- JI

Edit: I just Googled 'Morpheus,' who is in fact the god of dreams. He is the son of Somnus (which sounds like 'somnolent, a close cousin of 'sleep'). Sounds like you're in the middle of a pretty complicated romance, lol.

LOL JI, I guess I'd prefer a guy, ya, "Sleep" just hit me as more "feminine"...but then again, I've been sleep deprived! Lol- Perhaps Morpheus will jump in the mix tonight! lol


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 11:28 am 
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teeheehee! Morpheus is the name of my male iguana.........


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:19 pm 
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trainer14 wrote:
teeheehee! Morpheus is the name of my male iguana.........

LOL!! :lol: I'm picturing trying to sleep with an iguana!!! Not very cuddly I imagine??


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:22 pm 
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rca1004 wrote:
...LOL JI, I guess I'd prefer a guy, ya, "Sleep" just hit me as more "feminine"...but then again, I've been sleep deprived! Lol- Perhaps Morpheus will jump in the mix tonight! lol


I'm romanced-deprived at the moment, Trainer, how about you email me a picture of your Iguana?

-- JI

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 12:24 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
rca1004 wrote:
...LOL JI, I guess I'd prefer a guy, ya, "Sleep" just hit me as more "feminine"...but then again, I've been sleep deprived! Lol- Perhaps Morpheus will jump in the mix tonight! lol


I'm romanced-deprived at the moment, Trainer, how about you email me a picture of your Iguana?

-- JI
LOLOLO :lol: This is getting crazier by the minute!!


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:38 pm 
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Perhaps this will help you sleep tonight. Meet Morpheus!


Attachments:
File comment: Here ya go guys
Morpheus.jpeg
Morpheus.jpeg [ 16.23 KiB | Viewed 245 times ]
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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:50 pm 
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Oooooooo! He looks like he would definitely keep me in line! If he said "Get to sleep- now", I don't think I'd dare refuse!! (JI...any chemistry there?? lol)


Last edited by rca1004 on Thu Jun 19, 2014 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:51 pm 
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LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:53 pm 
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JI - if he doesnt do it for ya, I have a bearded dragon named Luna. Hahahs


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 6:32 pm 
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so here is where all the action is, too funny, here is you bedtime story, don't know he will get your sex drive going.......... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U85CXYJg2lc


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:11 pm 
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Hmmm, doesn't look a whole lot worse than my last girlfriend (and probably has a better personality).

-- JI

Edit; I mean the lizard, not the storyteller!

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 8:08 pm 
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JI, dude, I just cackled out loud in line at the grocery store. Bwahahaha. I'm sure with a little lotion, we can soften up Morph's scales, make him nice 'n cuddly.


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 9:01 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
Hmmm, doesn't look a whole lot worse than my last girlfriend (and probably has a better personality).

-- JI

Edit; I mean the lizard, not the storyteller!

dam ji I just laughed my ass off, thanks for for the up beat.


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 10:06 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
Hmmm, doesn't look a whole lot worse than my last girlfriend (and probably has a better personality).

-- JI

Edit; I mean the lizard, not the storyteller!



Your last gf must've been a punkrocker. A lot of 'em have the Morpheus hairstyle and a lot of ink.

(dry humor time^, some of it rubbed off on me from an expat friend from England who I used to hang out with a lot)

edit: bad grammars, spellnigs, and other keythrobs, er, I mean keystrokes.


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:51 am 
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trainer14 wrote:
Meet Morpheus!


Morpheus is one badass looking reptoid. Would hate to meet him in a dark alley when he's having a bad day.
Heh, I actually mean badass in a good way though. He sure does look healthy and colorful, as opposed to how you described your reps before the rescues.

And speaking of your aviary, my mom has an Eclectic Parrot. The breed fooled those who first discovered them, they thought it was two separate breeds, as the male plumage is predominately green, while the females are red (she has a female, it lays an egg every now and again too, heh). It makes laughing sounds like her, and other sounds like "hrm!", and has some vocabulary. She got it less than 10 years ago, so odds are it will outlive her. I became attached to it myself when I first moved back from Florida and stayed with her for awhile. In fact she sort of pawned the care and feeding of it off to me for awhile when staying at her place, because of her much busier schedule, which is why I became attached to it. She was often staying over nights at her boyfriends too, and used to take it back and forth with her, which seemed to make it a little neurotic, it started picking at its feathers but stopped when I was taking care of it. Anyway, barring accidents and such, odds are the parrot will outlive her, and I'll outlive her (although that's even more iffy than the parrot, it's not an addict so no risk of it ever relapsing and ODing, even though I don't ever want to relapse and be dead again, so odds are low of that, as I did OD once, but somebody in the house who knew CPR fortunately revived me when I fell out of the chair; I must have been right on razors edge of a lethal dose tolerance-wise, because I got an adrenaline rush after coming back, when realizing what had happened, which sustained me til dope wore off...but I digress). I honestly don't know how it will effect me, hearing my mother's laughter, and such, if I inherit it. Will it make me sad, or will it be a comforting thing after grieving, like a nice picture of her? I know it is much better not to dwell on unknown futures and live in the day; I hate thinking about such "what ifs", but can't help it late at night sometimes, when I'm alone.


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:37 am 
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dirtyblonde wrote:
so here is where all the action is, too funny, here is you bedtime story, don't know he will get your sex drive going.......... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U85CXYJg2lc


LOLOL DB! :lol: I know that story by heart (2 kids, almost nightly, for at least a year for each of them!) I LOVED this version!!! Thanks for the post! :D


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 Post subject: Re: Need support
PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 7:40 am 
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I love eclectus parrots. A guy I work with owns one. Beautiful bird. I think it would be comforting to hear your mom's laugh, as if she lived on through the bird and you still had an earthly connection so to speak. Animals are awesome like that. I once watched a show where a guy disappeared. They found his car with a puppy inside and he never owned a puppy. His brother adopted the puppy because he was the last connection to the case. If only the dog could talk. They still dont know what happened to the guy and its been 10 years.

Scary that you overdosed. You are lucky to still be here. Don't do it again!!!!!!!!! You were brought back to do greater things. Maybe write that book!


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