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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:40 pm 
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DoaQ, hatmaker and ladder,

I pm'd romeo about my experience 2 days ago and am just now feeling like I can come post in the forum. I hope Dr. J will comment too if he reads this....this has been a very ugly experience...

I know I tapered down very, very fast...from March 1 to March 31...I went from 24 mgs. to 6 mgs/day. I was feeling really good until last Friday (you can read my posts from last Friday on and see that I was starting to have probs).
Anyway, on Friday, I started crying and just couldn't stop....it lasted Fri, Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues....by Wed, it was affecting my job so I thought I would take 2 more mgs (bump back up to 8). Wed, I went to work and by 5:00, I was so sick....that I ended up in the Emergency Room.
I was SICK.....I'd feel like I had a 102 temp one minute and be freezing the next. The depression was gone but man, oh man, was I sick. I couldn't eat, felt like I "wasn't here", heart palpitating, guts gurgling, could hardly hold my head up kind of sick. Oh, and bladder spasms....pain in my bladder. OH...and ANXIETY.

I called my Sub doc on the way to the ER...he asked what my pupils looked like and I told him they were pinpoint. He said that I had come down way to far in a month's time and the half-life had finally got me. He said all of the symptoms were withdrawal except the bladder pain...but Sub can affect the bladder....to go on in and if they sent me home, to take an 8 mg when I left.

They could give me nothing for the bladder pain but Motrin and Tylenol, which they gave me the max dose of both. The ER doc told me to take a Sub and see what it did. Within 15 minutes, I was feeling pretty normal, just extremely tired and sore and within 1 hour, the bladder spasms had ceased. They said there was a little bacteria in the urinalysis, gave me some Cipro and said to see my doc if the bladder pain came back. They thought the "sick" feeling was withdrawal...thought I was out of the woods....

Last night and night before...I can't sleep! The anxiety is pretty bad and it comes in waves....absolute waves. I will get hot, cold and waves of anxiety. No more crying...but the anxiety is not good. My thoughts are just racing while I am trying to sleep and everytime I try to sleep...have all these weird dreams that wake me up immediately and feel almost like I'm going to have panic. I have never, ever experienced anything like this except when I first started Subs (seemed like it was hard to fall asleep the first 2-3 weeks)...now I can only think...what have I done to myself?!!!
I saw my Sub doc yesterday....he told me that he thought what had happened was that they half-life had finally caught up with me...and I had come down way too fast...I did not give my brain time to regroup after each dose lowering. He said I need to get stabilized and then we will begin taper again...only do it HIS way this time! He said it takes about 10 days for my plasma level to get stabilized and he wants me to take 1 1/2 8mg tab in the morning and another 1/2 in the afternoon if I need it and get stabilized at 12 - 16 mgs/day. Give my body/brain 10 days to stabilize and I should feel a lot better (the anxiety will leave and I will sleep again).
I am missing work today....I feel so nervous and just anxious.
I was doing so good...I did wonderfully on Subs...the whole 3 years...never had a problem (except some drowsiness). Slept like a baby...felt good....no cravings for opiates, alcohol...anything!

I really messed up trying to do a quick taper, didn't I? Next time....I'm doing it the doctor's way. He told me that he is very successful in weaning patients off Subs but it's going to be slow and I have to do exactly as he says..
I was embarrassed to write this today....last week, I was feeling so good...so strong...so happy. I have learned something so important....this is a slow process. I do not ever want to go through what I just went through again. I know I'm on the way as the anxiety seems to come in waves...and I'll be fine for a bit...and then it hits again. The sleep thing is really awful...I lay there and toss and turn....feeling so sleepy but the moment I shut my eyes, I jerk right awake....feeling like waves of adrenaline thru my stomach. At least today, the awful sick feeling is gone. But, I do NOT want to go back up to 3 tabs/day....hoping that 1.5 - 2 tabs does the trick at stabilizing me. I mean, I have not done 3 tabs in 5 weeks now.
About to go walk...need a good dose of sunshine :)
Wow, what a 2 day period. Please tell me I'm going to be ok!!! This has me so undone :(


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:44 pm 
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Oh, forgot one other symptom...back pain...and it moves, believe it or not. It'll be in my right shoulder and then my low back...last night felt like one long night of moving the heating pad around, trying to sleep, waking up in just about a panic...awful.

DO NOT try to come off Subs too fast...I will tell anyone on here now....take it slow, work with your Doc...do not move down until you have had 3 good weeks on the last dose...this has cost me almost a week's work and an ER visit. But, I learned.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:24 pm 
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Hi ClearAqua,

I am so sorry you are STILL feeling so absolutely crappy.

I just wanted to post what I PM'd you to see if anyone else has had the same thing happen to them.

When on opiates, if I would get sick I could 'feel all of the opiates leaving my body', it would send me into instant withdrawal. Now, it didn't happen every time I got sick, just when a particulary nasty bug came along and got me.

I ended up being hospitalized for 3 days once when this happened to me while I was taking OxyContin. They ran every test known to man on me and came up with nothing.

Have any of you ever experienced anything like this?

ClearAqua, I am praying for you.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 1:39 pm 
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Prayers are appreciated, romeo :) I think the back pain is pure tension.
I have never been in withdrawals so I had no idea.
The mild withdrawal that they put you in before Sub induction was not bad...and you knew when it was going to end.
I now have a new "understanding" of what withdrawal is about.

I know that day before yesterday, I felt like there was nothing in me. This has really done a number on my desire to taper...I don't feel like a failure, it just un-nerved me so. I am facing possible surgery in the future and so wanted to get off Subs before that point. My doctor has assured me that I can have surgery safely on Subs and get adequate pain relief but still...you worry.

I so wish I had not done what I did so quickly and had listened to my doc and waited 2 weeks inbetween drops...he told me that it takes people 3-4 months to do what I did in one month. Ok, I've learned my lesson!


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:25 pm 
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I tried to taper to fast last year ( feb 4th was my hospital admission date) I had all the symptoms you had cept I was vomiting every ten minutes and it lasted two weeks. the hospital I was in wouldnt give me any subs or even talk to my sub dr so I was inpatient vomiting chills aches unable to eat for almost two full weeks. When I got out my sub dr called me in a script and I was back at 8mg a day and felt fine..
this taper has been much much slower and I have had none of those symptoms thus far

even today I skipped my dose got some skin crawlings and the clonidine helped. My dr also told me I went to fast sooo easy does it .. hang tough ... you will be fine just go slowly ... one day at a time


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 4:13 pm 
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First of all I'm so sorry to hear things went "bad" for you. I remember you were so optimistic and positive when you started your taper. But you recognized the bad place you're in and now you're stopping to reassess. It's the best thing you can do right now.

OK, moving on... I'm going to start out with my confusion first. And that is - you said your pupils were pinpoint, right? That is NOT a sign of withdrawal!!! When in opiate withdrawals your pupils will be just the opposite - dilated. I saw that in one of your other posts, but failed to say anything. Maybe in hindsight I should have. I'm even more confused that you told your doctor that and he also thinks it's a sign of withdrawals. I've had pinpoint pupils the whole time I've been on suboxone, as have a lot of other people. People on other types of opiates, including full agonist, also have pinpoint pupils. If you look at the COWS scale (that people use to gauge their w/d when starting sub, it talks about the size of their dilated pupils to see how bad their w/d are). I point that out so you know that this isn't just my opinion or that I'm recalling something wrong. I really don't understand how your pupils are small if you're indeed in withdrawals. It simply makes no sense. That tells me you are NOT in w/d.

Yes, I do believe you went down way too fast. I was thinking that when I was reading your other thread, but you were so determined and optimistic and frankly I didn't want to seem negative to you, so I remained silent. (Again, maybe in hindsight I should have said something.)

About tapering from here on out: If it were me, though, I would have bumped back up to about 10-12 mg instead of 16 and take it only once per day. At the low dose you've been at, I would personally think that you would be just fine at that dose. BUT, that said, I would listen to your doctor. There's nothing wrong with being safe rather than sorry. Anyway, Dr. Junig recommends tapering reductions of 10%, about every week or two. Some people say 25%, and that may be okay for doses above about 6 mg, but under that, lower drops are better.

If you can make tiny dose drops that you barely feel, then you'll feel less acute and post-acute withdrawal symptoms when you do jump. I would advise you not to set an end/quit date and just concentrate and doing a slow, low, long taper. And do it as painlessly as possible. Some people who do it "right" can get pretty low without even feeling a thing. That's the idea. I never understood why people push it too fast when they don't need to. Why feel symptoms of w/d if you can just go slower and feel that much less discomfort?

I also agree that your back pain is probably tension. Your anxiety is likely (in my opinion) from you panicking and freaking out over this whole thing. But your bladder pain is something altogether different. If the Cipro does not help, you need to return to the doctor or have them refer you to a urologist, depending on how bad the pain is. (I have a bladder condition that involves severe chronic pain. It's the kind of pain that literally doubles you over. No joke. If you have questions about it, feel free to PM me.)

I hope this helps you. Try to calm down. Get some rest and take lots of hot baths. In other words, BE KIND TO YOURSELF. You sort of wreaked havoc on your body, so give it time to "heal" and bounce back.

Lastly, I still don't think you're in withdrawals, but honestly, I can't say from what you've described what's going on....UNLESS you just happen to have a bug/illness at a very coincidental time. I suppose it is possible. Keep an eye on your pupils and let us know how you're doing.

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:02 pm 
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ooops...I didn't mean pinpoint...I meant they weren't pinpoint! To clarify...he asked if they were pinpoint; they were not pinpoint. I was writing so fast, I got confused. I keep getting that wrong :)

Both the ER doc and my doc said I had made myself sick from the too fast taper. I'm just trying to stabilize here and then move forward from there :)

Thanks, all.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 7:25 pm 
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Whew! I'm so glad you clarified that! I was one confused cookie! LOL. OK now I feel better. Yes, you are indeed in withdrawals and the long half life "caught up with you", so to speak. Everything else I said still applies.

When did you take your increased dose of suboxone? You should be feeling better almost RIGHT AWAY. It shouldn't take long at all. Remember your induction and how quickly you felt better or "normal"? You should feel better that quickly now. Are you yet?

I hope I didn't sound too harsh with you, because that absolutely was NOT my intention. Not at all. Once you have that increased dose of sub in you and your pupils go back to normal (or pinpoint), you should be stable. I would stay at that dose for a good 3 weeks or so. Then start SLOWLY bumping yourself down again.

Hang in there....You'll be feeling better very very soon - or at least you should. What's done is done. Don't be kicking yourself in the ass for going too quickly. It's a lesson learned and you certainly aren't the first one to do that. Give yourself time and if you do your taper nice and slow, you should have far, far less in the way of discomfort throughout your entire taper down and off.

Thanks again for the clarification. You had me truly befuddled. I couldn't figure it out...I was re-reading and re-reading wondering what was in my iced tea!

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 9:33 pm 
My gosh, Clear! That is awful...what you've been going through! I'm sure sorry for you.
I went through cold-turkey withdrawals from high doses of a whole host of prescription opioids (both oral and IV) about 2 and a half years ago. I will never forget it. Several of the symptoms you describe were reminiscent of that ordeal....the anxiety/panic, the wild feelings of temperature fluctuations, the pain, and the unrelenting insomnia......
Like Hatmaker, I was perplexed about the dilated vs constricted pupil thing, as that is, almost without fail, the one objective finding we can count on to assess withdrawal. I'm glad you cleared that one up! And the bladder pain....while I haven't heard of that specific, particularly localized pain associated with w/d, I know that I had pain in my w/d that was almost too profound and deep for words!
I guess the only thing that has me a little baffled is the fact that you were still taking 6mg each day. Have I read that correctly, or have I missed anything? I understand that you decreased your dose by a lot and that you did it very quickly, but at 6mg/day, it's hard to imagine you being thrown into full-blown withdrawal. That really has me scratching my head....
I'm not doubting that what you're saying is true at all. I just don't quite understand it. I don't think I've heard of this before. I've always been of the understanding that the 'ceiling' dose is around 4mg/day, I could even see it being at 6mg/day for some people. I know in my own experience with buprenorphine, I've been able to cut my dose by as much as 50% overnight with doses over ~4mg/day and not experience anything beyond a runny nose in terms of physical w/d symptoms. And I've heard several others say the same thing....that with doses over ~4mg/day, they have not experienced severe physical w/d with dose reductions. I am really wondering why you've had such a vastly different experience. This makes me question this drug even more than I already do sometimes! Perhaps this is just another reminder that we can all be so different when it comes to this drug.....how we feel while on it, how we do with tapering and how we tolerate dose reductions/cessation of the drug. Fascinating.....
Again, mostly I'm just sorry you've been through all that! I'm glad you have a doctor who seems to be reasonably compassionate and interested in helping you. That's a big plus! I agree with what I think someone else had told you....at this point your lingering anxiety/panic and insomnia probably has a lot to do with what you've just gone through rather than not having enough bupe. I also do wonder if at least some of your symptoms were due to some other illness (perhaps a kidney or bladder infection.) In any case, I hope you and your doctor are able to figure this out and get you better as soon as possible. For the lack of sleep, I would suggest that you try OTC sleep aid such as Tylenol PM or even plain old benedryl....those meds are seldom ever harmful and can actually work pretty well for a lot of us. I really believe that you will feel so much better if you can just get some sleep/rest.
I will definitely say a prayer for you. And please keep us advised about how you're doing, how we can help. Oh, I also agree with what everyone else has said about slowing that taper way on down. You've certainly learned that it is likely to give you a much easier time to take it slow with that.
Feel better and better soon!


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 9:57 am 
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ClearAqua, that sounds horrible and I'm sorry you had to go through that!
Your account brought up some concerns for me, and I apologize if I'm repeating what others have already said. I did a beyond fast taper when I went off sub for a couple of weeks several months ago. I wish I had kept a log, but this is the best I can remember: I had been on 12mg before getting in a car accident and having to go on full agonists for about 2 weeks. When I went back on my Sub I felt my tolerance had decreased and I went on 4mg/day. I was having a lot of trouble with sleepiness, so I dropped down to 2mg/ day. For a number of f'd up reasons that I won't get into, I then dropped to 0 with the help of some very small doses of oxycodone over a 2 week period. I never felt any withdrawal symptoms until I dropped from 2mg to 0.
The crying was the number one symptom, so I can understand that. This is what concerns me, though, 6mg/day is well over the ceiling. So, you definitely should not have been experiencing signs of acute withdrawal like fever and chills, not being able to eat, etc. In fact that whole paragraph of your post sounds like an acute onset bladder infection (which I have had several of, and they were just like what you described). I hope you are still taking the Cipro.
I know you felt better when you took the dose of Sub, but when you have an infection like that, a dose of any opiate would immediately make you feel better.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is don't give up on your taper because of that incident. Your doc was quick to say you tapered too fast, but most people say the drop from a high dose to 8mg has very few side effects, if any. The drop from 8 to 6 would
be more significant, but you said you were feeling well until you got sick.
If you feel you need and want to be on a higher dose of Sub right now that's fine (that was the decision I ultimately made, to go back on 8mg because I wasn't ready to be off), but don't let anyone convince you that you were not tapering properly. IMO what you were doing was appropriate, and smaller more spaced out reductions should start when you get below 4mg. I'm just concerned that going back to 16mg/day (is that correct?) is going to be a huge setback for you. The vast majority of addicts (that I know of) are stable at a dose of 8mg, unless they are on it for pain.
I wish you all the best in your recovery,
Lilly


Last edited by Lillyval on Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:18 am, edited 2 times in total.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 10:03 am 
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Aww Clear, I'm sorry you had such an awful experience, but I am so glad to hear your doctor is being so helpful. It's always better to have a knowledgable doctor when going thru this. You and I are so much alike, I hear so much of myself in what you write. I agree with everyone else who posted above, what's done is done, don't punish yourself for trying to go fast. It happend, and now your going to do it a different way, but the end will be the same, only you'll get there much easier and happier. I too have realized that I can't set a "date" so to speak of when to end this journey. I am going to stick to the 1mg/.5mg for as long as I need to, indefinitely if necessary. Yes I do eventually want to be off of it but I want to feel good, and strong and focused, so whatever I have to do to get there I'll do. You are a strong, wonderful person, so don't beat yourself up for going too fast. You didn't know this would happen, and with everyone's experiences so different, it was impossible to predict. You're going to be fine now, just be good to yourself, and keep chuggin! Hot baths are wonderful, as Hat said.. I've taken a few of them this week, and they have done wonders for me. I have suffered anxiety my entire life, so I know how awful that can make you feel, and it always effects my sleep when it's bad. So it may be that your anxiety is effecting your sleep, as well as the fact that your body is trying to re-adjust now. You said you didn't sleep well in the beginning of your sub journey, so I can't help but wonder if it's related to that, and when your body levels out that will as well.
Just know that we are here for you! I am saying prayers for you, and hope that you know how good you still are doing!! Don't think anything different! We've just got to realize that it's going to take a while, and just give in to that, and not try and fight it, or rationalize it in our minds. That's a big thing for me, not over rationalizing things. I do it with so many things in my life.
I hope you are feeling better today sweets!! If you ever want to just talk, or need to vent please feel free to message me! I'm here for you anytime!!
Big giant hugs!!!! We're in this together, you are not alone, and I just know in my heart that you are going to be just fine!!
Rain

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 1:35 pm 
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Hey ClearAqua - I'm sorry I couldn't respond to you until now...I've had spotty computer access since my laptop died.

You've gotten a ton of good advice and I don't really have much to add. I will say that I agree with those above who said that it's surprising that you would have such intense, full-blown withdrawals at 6mgs a day. Which is not to say that it didn't happen or that it's not the reason for you feeling so awful...just that it goes to show once again how differently we all react to Suboxone and to tapering.

What you went through must have been so terrible and frightening, but you sound like you pulled through with a lot of strength. I'm glad you have a supportive doctor and I hope that you'll never have to go through this again.

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 6:16 am 
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Everyone....want to thank you for your support and care :)

Since I still consider myself in my Sub taper, decided to come in and add to my "taper journal". I am a different person than I was a month ago when I first posted. I now have a healthy respect for the taper process. I did not fully understand exactly what had happened within my brain and what I was trying to do within my brain during this process. I sure do now!

I simply went wayyyyy too fast for my body. It is now one week tomorrow since my ER trip and 5 days since seeing my Sub doc. Going from 24 mgs/day to 6 mgs/day in 4 weeks threw me into some kind of withdrawal of withdrawals. My doctor said that because of the long half-life and the fact that every metabolizes differently, I had not given my brain time to adjust between drops. The key to success in a successful, pain-free as possible taper, he said, is the adjustment period you give yourself when first dropping a dosage.
When I first felt those "weepies" when I got to 6 mg/day, I should've stopped RIGHT THEN, added a sliver of Sub until those went away, and then stayed there for 2 weeks. I didn't. I kept going on down. First of all, the depression hit, then bad back pain, then anxiety. Instead of adding some Sub and trying to stabilize...I kept dropping! Wrong move :)
When I saw my doc, I was so agitated from anxiety...I did not sleep for 4 nights...walked a ton as it was the only way to relieve it. And of course, anxiety is a viscious animal...it self-perpetuates...the more you feel anxiety, the more you feel anxiety (strange way to put it but if you've had it, you know what I'm saying). The object in taper is NOT to be a martyr and see how much w/d pain you can stand....but to go slow enough that you have minimal w/d pain, whether its mental or physical.

So, I find myself today, down to 10-12 mgs./day from my original 24 mgs/day. Something to feel good about...I have halved my dose since March 1. His plan for me...

After I have had NO anxiety or withdrawal issues for 2 weeks...we will drop 2 mgs at a time...stay there 2 weeks and move forward. He also wants to change me to the strips at my next prescription as they are easier to taper off of.

I have to remember that I have had anxiety issues off and on all of my life. If you have previously suffered from something before opiods, you may very well have that issue again during your taper/jumping process. Time to pull out whatever you did "pre-opiods" to deal with it.

I used to take Ativan, as needed, for anxiety. I didn't have to take them much...sometimes a prescription would never even be used before it expired! I might've taken it 4-6 times a year. During the "change of life", my anxiety really reared its ugly head..and that's pretty normal. But after I got through it, it went away. When I got hooked on Lortabs in 2007, I had taken no Ativan in probably 2 years or so.

So....I'm doing much better...seemed to have stabilized here...

Anyway, the doc told me to go back up to 12-16 mgs/day and I would feel much better in about 10 days (as soon as my blood plasma stabilized). He also said it's very important to take the doses at the same time each day and he preferred me to try to get to once daily dosing for this taper. I felt so bad that day...was still so anxious and scared...the anxiety felt like a big ugly thing on my back. He was right though...it peaked at about the 3rd day and as my Sub level built, it started to get better every day afterwards.

I've been able to stabilize at 10-12 mgs/day (depending on how the pill breaks and I wanted to stabilize lower rather than higher) and yesterday, I finally had my first "normal" day...anxiety seems to be gone, I'm sleeping better. He was worried about me feeling like a "failure" and told me absolutely not to...we're just going to take it slower...like 6-8 months...and pay attention to the road signs this time :) I have not been able to do once daily dosing yet....just not there yet...so afraid of that horrid anxiety starting again.

Again, thank you all....sorry to have been gone so long but I didn't want to be posting while feeling so lousy. I really want to present a more positive experience. For now, I will say that it is completely my fault that this taper went wrong...I did too much, too fast and most importantly...did not pay attention to the signals my brain was sending me. I did not pay attention to people here who said "Slow down!" "take this slowly" "go slow when you hit 1 tab daily"....boy, was I on a mission!

romeo and DoaQ...I WILL be where you guys are at....I will be Sub free someday...just going to be a little later than I'd originally intended :)

Next goal...to be at 8 mgs/once daily with NO w/d symptoms. Giving myself ample time to get there :)

Big hug to you all!


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:42 am 
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ClearAqua,

I have NO doubt whatsoever that you will be sub free some day! You're going to get there bud, I have faith in you!!

Look, you went too fast and you learned an extremely valuable lesson, it kind of reminds me of my relpase, I screwed up, but I sure learned a heck of a lot from it!! As long as we learn from our mistakes, then it's all good in my book.

Take care of yourself.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 19, 2011 1:11 pm 
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Wow...I just went back and read over this entire thread. The memory of that first week after the ER visit is still fresh. The anxiety was horrible....I read all of the kind replies on here and I'm just floored. I was in such an anxious state that I could hardly read them at the time. It took a good two weeks to even get my appetite back. I have lost 5-6 lbs since then! I've not had an episode of insomnia since Fri night...very good thing :)
It made me feel so good that others had a similar experience....I didn't want to think it was just me...though we are all a bit different!

I agree with DoaQ....I shouldn't be back up at 16 mgs/day. Since I seem to be fine at 12 to 14...going to go every other day with that for 2 weeks, then start dropping 10/12/10/12 every other day..
The silver lining in all of this is that I AM at a lower dosage through all of this! Dropping from 24 mgs to 12/14 mgs is a lot! I was overmedicated anyway and I knew it...I could hardly hold my eyes open at times.

I know some were confused that I had such w/d at 6 mgs...but we are all different and that must be my ceiling. Boy, do I wish it was 4mgs! I have always been sensitive to Subs...my husband said he could tell within an hour after I'd taken one. I always felt my mood elevated...not a "high" but a mood elevation...guess that is why Subs are being looked at for depression.

I really think that things that we battled before Subs can rear their heads during a taper. If we had depression or anxiety, makes sense that it would come back during a taper if we go too fast.
I can't emphasize enough the support I get by coming here and seeing others that are down to such low doses after years on Subs. I think we are all capable of getting off Subs and having a life free from our little orange friends. And honestly, if I wasn't facing surgery down the road...would I have been so gung-ho to get off at this time? I think so because I started thinking about it about 6 months ago...just started having that "feeling" that I was ready. But the prospect of surgery did enhance my desire to taper.
I'm putting off the surgery (hysterectomy) as long as I can so I have the opportunity to taper as low as I can. I'm in kind of a quandry...the lower I go, the more pain I feel from the fibroids...but the lower I go, the better chance I have of getting pain relief post surgery! An irony for sure!

I sure do think a lot of all of you :) What kindness!


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 Post subject: Dear ClearAqua
PostPosted: Thu May 12, 2011 10:21 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 14, 2010 3:57 pm
Posts: 28
Location: Western PA
Hi Clear! So sorry I haven't been on in over a week. I got a nasty flu and just laid around for a week. Anyhow, just wanted to let you know I'm still here, rooting for you. And... I totally understand what you've been through. In retrospect, I think that if I'd been more patient and tapered longer and lower, I might not have been so miserable. Then again, for me it was time and I somehow pushed through (some days the only thing that kept me going was support from ppl on here). Also, I do not have to work and had very little in the way of responsibilities. I was able to stay home and TRY to baby myself without the anxiety of missing work, etc. I'm so glad your doctor is on board with an eventual taper/stop as that's what you want. Some sub docs will try to encourage us to stay on forever. But having a docs support is an awesome advantage during a taper. I paid cash to have the one good sub doc I knew of (hubby's doc) help me and guide me through my taper. His support and prescribing comfort meds were invaluable (neurontin, clonodine, bentyl).

I remember chatting with you and your bright and positive attitude. No need to feel any less positive! As Romeo said, you WILL eventually be sub free when the time is RIGHT! I'm almost 3 months off sub so I know it can be done. And those who have successfully tapered and stopped know it can be done too. The thing is, everyone's situation and timing is different. Your experience just gives you more information and understanding that you can use as you move forward.

I'm so glad you're feeling better :) Just do what works for YOU and keep sharing. You're doing great!


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
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