It is currently Fri Aug 18, 2017 5:38 am



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 
Author Message
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 12:10 am 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:19 pm
Posts: 4
Hello all. I found this site yesterday searching Google for some answers. My husband has been on Suboxone since Oct 09, he was prescribed it during his third visit to detox (first was in July 09 and second was in Sept 09). He was in the same detox facility all three times, but the third time requested a different doctor that prescribed Sub. Anyway, he was addicted to Vicoden for 2 years. I was oblivious to it until I was 4 months pregnant (with our planned baby) who was born in May 09. After she was born was when his addiction really took a downward spiral. With the suboxone he has been able to stay clean, and even have no cravings, but I feel like I have no idea who he is. He tosses and turns all night long, wakes up and goes to work, comes home and naps for 2 hours, eats and goes back to bed. For me, I see a vicious cycle of not getting any meaning out of life. He seems to be okay with the way things are. His doc has given him different sleeping meds (Ambien, Trazadone & Seroquel) to see what will work. All three have pretty much the same effect, but on the Trazadon and Seroquel he cannot wake up the next day. I miss my husband, I feel like I am a single mom. I love that the Suboxone is keeping him off the pills, but on the other hand, I don't see it doing much more than that. I think he takes 8 mg 2x per day. He said he has talked to his doctor about his symptoms, but he really doesn't seem to see an issue. Has anyone has similar symptoms on Suboxone? Did they eventually go away? He also has zero sex drive, which was also a side effect of the Vicodin, but not normal for him or us. I love him, but I need to be happy as well, I am not sure how much longer I can take this.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 7:23 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Tue May 12, 2009 10:02 am
Posts: 308
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
HI alk433,
Welcome to the Forum. I am sure others will chime in that are going through the same thing that you are. I am just wondering is your Husband also going to counseling for his addiction? I have found Suboxone to be a wonderful drug, But I would be lost without my counseling and my therapy including this Forum.... It may be helpful for you & your Husband to look at some counseling together or even have him come out and look around this Forum??? Addiction is a family disease and it certainly sounds like you are willing to do what it takes to make your situation better.... Hang in there I hope things get better for you and your Family. I wish your Husband the best of luck in Recovery...... :) Take Care!

God Bless
TW


Last edited by TWINPLY on Mon Apr 12, 2010 9:14 am, edited 1 time in total.

Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 8:13 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi alk and welcome to the forum,
I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time. Your story rang familiar, as I just read Dr. Junig's most recent blog post. It's obviously not the same situation, but I think it might help if you read it. Here's the link: http://suboxonetalkzone.com/?p=1811

Does your husband have anything else in place other than the suboxone to help in his recovery? I, too, go to therapy and it's a HUGE help, as is this forum. The people here keep me real, so to speak - honest, as does my therapist. Maybe you can get him to start talking about this? So much goes on when we go into addiction remission and so much needs to be healed. I know I did a serious amount of damage to my marriage. We found a great marriage counselor and it's helped tremendously. I still struggle though with the shame and guilt over the mess I made of things.

Again, welcome to the forum, we're glad you're here. And please let us know how you're doing.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 12, 2010 10:34 am 
Welcome alk. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I'm sure these last months have been super hard on you. Having a new baby to care for and having a sick husband to worry about also is so very difficult. I have been there and done that myself. The circumstances were not identical to yours and my husband's drug of choice was not opiates, but nonetheless, the dynamic of the thing is similar. It's hard to be supportive of him when you need support yourself, isn't it? And there are so many trust issues in play.
I agree with the others who have mentioned the need for your husband to have counseling along with his Suboxone. I would assume he is in some sort of recovery group since you mentioned he had been to rehab. Usually Rehabs will have aftercare groups and most of them have classes, group support and counseling available to the family members as well. Maybe you could look into some help for yourself. And definitely your husband needs to be in therapy.
As far as his tiredness and low libido.....those seems to be pretty common complaints with Suboxone, and are actually side effects of all opiates. I think you said he's discussed it with his doctor and it sounds like they're working with him to get him on the right sleep aid. Sometimes it's just a matter of time for it all to get straightened out. I will say this.....After I had been on Suboxone for a few months, I started feeling really tired during the day too. A dose reduction helped me out a lot! It seems some people find that they just don't need more than 8mg/day after they've been on it a while. And cutting the dose back seems to help with the side effects. Of course, everyone is different and your husband needs to keep talking to his doctor about any problems he's having and get their blessing before trying a dose reduction. Just something to maybe consider.
I'm not a doctor or an expert, but those are my thoughts. Hang in there and know that you deserve a lot of credit for sticking it out with your husband. It's not easy to love an addict and sometimes it just won't work out. You have to do what's best for you and your child ultimately. But with the proper help and support, some of us have been able to keep our marriages intact. In fact, when all is said and done.....your marriage could come through stronger than before. We are happy to help in any way we can.


Top
  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 6:53 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:19 pm
Posts: 4
Thanks for all comments, they make me feel like I am not so alone. He was attending 12 step meetings twice a week for the first 3 months, but then said he didn't feel like he needed them anymore. It worries me he is using the suboxone as a bandaid instead of a tool to figure the root of the problem. I discussed with him reducing his dose, he said he would talk to his doctor about it, but I have the feeling he really doesn't want to. He wakes up all through the night (even with one of his sleeping aids) and will go outside to smoke a cigarette. I usually find him sleeping on our back porch or in the garage with a cigarette on the ground. He has even fallen over in our backyard twice and scraped his head pretty badly. He falls asleep while talking, eating, and I have even seen him nod off while driving which worries me to death. I feel like he is no different now then when on opiates. I was looking forward to living life again, but he is always sleeping. He also has frequent headaches which seem to be another side effect of taking too much. I think he may even be taking more than he is prescribed at times. The first 4 months on Suboxone, he would run out 5-8 days before the pharmacy would fill it again. I just don't understand why HE isn't as frustrated as I am about the situation.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 7:26 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Feb 17, 2010 10:03 pm
Posts: 991
Ditto what everyone else said and.....

I experienced this to a great extent my second year on suboxone. Even today on a lower dose, if I want to sleep during the day, I can any time. Put me as a passenger in a car, and I am likely to fall asleep. HOWEVER, I did not have the insomnia. If he is taking more than he is supposed to, that could cause the insomnia as well as taking it too close to bed time, as well as sleeping for 2 hours when he gets home. I too was pretty happy with my situation, although bored a lot. I don't know why I was ok with my situation to be honest with you. My husband telling me (after I got off it) that it was impacting him in a negative way was very helpful for me. I also go to therapy which is helping. I am back on the suboxone now, and things are different. I will do my best to describe what might have been happening for me but I lack insight into my own behavior and thoughts to some extent.

Suboxone makes me feel pretty normal. It isn't that I don't have feelings or emotions because I do. But I think I was using the fact that I could sleep as a way of avoiding my anxiety and avoiding dealing with it. The only coping skill I had ever known was to take pills or drugs or drink. Once on suboxone, I felt much better and a lot of my depression was gone, but my anxiety was still there. Typical anxiety really that everyone has. Boredom. Whatever. I wasn't in any kind of therapy or program and didn't know this forum existed. I didn't know anyone else on suboxone and didn't go to meetings. I really didn't know how to LIVE. I also didn't know what to do with my anxiety. Subconsciously, I was just choosing to sleep through it. I didn't even identify how I was feeling in any conscious way.

So my husband pointing out his frustration, going back to my therapist, finding this forum were all factors in making me change my behavior. Also, I did a lot of thinking when I went off of the suboxone. I thought about life and what it means to me and how I want to live it. I thought of what was important to me.

The bottom line was that I made a conscious decision that what I was doing wasn't living and my husband is VERY important to me. I am still learning how to deal with the anxiety. But I have made a commitment to be active. I have started working out every day (which might help your husband with the napping and the insomnia and the anxiety). I have made a conscious decision to get involved in the things I love and make sure I spend every weekend doing the things I love. The sex drive for me is off and on. For me, once I start it is all good to me. So I have a rule that I never decline it unless I ACTUALLY have a headache or something. I also make sure I have physical contact with my husband every day be it giving him a hug or flirting or something. It is true that I have to THINK about it these days and make an effort, but that could just be that we have been together 8 years and it is a phase.

Bottom line, your husband has to make a choice if he is going to change. He first has to acknowledge it is a problem and then choose to change. If I were in your shoes, I would probably start going to therapy myself and certainly would invite my husband to do some marriage counseling as well. You have to take care of you and you certainly can't change him.

Cherie


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 15, 2010 9:25 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2010 6:29 pm
Posts: 119
First of all I want to welcome alka to the forum. I am sorry that you are having concerns with your husbands recovery on suboxone. As you already know sub is not a miracle tool, but only a tool for recovery but it can also be abused. Unfortunately I have not used sub that way I should have either, and therefor my own recovery so far has not gone well. The good thing is this, is that I am now aware of that fact, as months have gone by, and I know that I am no further along in my recovery than I was when I first started sub. That is my own fault. Addiction is such a complex disease and as addicts we have to take every opportunity that there is in recovery, be it therapy or meetings, whatever it takes. I am now willing to do whatever it takes because more than anything I want to be well. Your husband has to want the same, to do anything and everything it takes to be fully in recovery. Unfortunately there is not a lot that you can do, and please know that none of this is your fault. I am sure that he loves you, and wants to be well. I think jackcrack explained it very well. sometimes we lack insight as to where we really are in our recovery. I am pretty new to this myself so please excuse me if I don't explain things well, or am off in any way. I do think as addicts, we do get to a point. like we did in active addiction where we want help, we know what we are trying to do on our own is not working. I also think when we are on sub, we also have to get to the point that we know that sub alone is not recovery, and become willing to do more, to get help from the people that can help us, to make that extra effort. I hope I am explaining this correctly. I wish you and your family well and hope that your husband soon makes that choice, to do whatever it takes.

jackcrack - your post made so much sense to me. It was a lightbulb went off. Especially concerning your husband. I have no sex drive at all right now, but used to with my husband and I realize I am going to have to make that extra effort. Same with the rest of my life. I spent so much time isolating and pretty much doing nothing that I have to make myself get up and out of the house and start living life again. I want to do that, i really do, I just have to push myself to do it. I know what is important to me, but sitting here thinking about it is not helping. Actually I have been stuck in the "what have I done in my life??what a waste? Now, I have to do something about it. Thanks for that! It was really helpful and was just I needed to hear, or read right now. I am really looking forward to chatting with you more.

alka, please keep posting. I am glad that you don't feel so alone. I hope that your husband starts to get better soon. Does he have a online forum he belongs to? have you told him about this one? Please take good care of yourself and your baby, and please always remember that none of this has anything to do with you, and there is not much that you can do to change him. It is something that has to come from within himself. Take care,
ginger


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Apr 16, 2010 11:41 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:19 pm
Posts: 4
Jackcrack and Ginger, thank you so much for your posts. I feel like someone has looked into my life and knows exactly how I am feeling, and I also fee like I have some much needed insight in to my husband's struggle. He did tell me the two times out of rehab without the Suboxone, the anxiety was consuming his every waking thought. He couldn't stop thinking about pills until he finally gave in. He told me he loved me more than anything in the world, but while he was wrapped up in his addiction, he really didn't care if I left him or not, he just wanted needed the pills. That really did hurt me, but also hurt me to know that something that I had no control of had taken over him so much. I have mentioned the forum that I found to him, and after reading your posts, I am going to sit down with him and look them over together. I think it will make him feel better that he is not alone in this as well. Thanks again, I really feel like a weight has been lifted off my chest.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 1:01 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Fri Mar 12, 2010 12:43 am
Posts: 1019
Location: Buffalo New York
sorry to hear your going threw this struggle. i do understand what your husband is going thew let me say. when i first started sub i changed alot. b4 sub i was all about hanging with my friends and random girls cilling haveing a good time partying but i was also on a large dose of oxy so i wasnt myself. any ways once i got on sub the 1st year was real rough i didnt see my friends barely for a year the kids i hung with every day and these werent my junkie friend my true ones. But they couldnt get me out of my house half the time to goto a party or just hang out. i was very queit my mom notice i would just lock myself in my room watch tv,eat an get very lil sleep. i also had a tough time sleeping once i got on sub, just so you know it does cause bad imsomnia for some people. i to tryed ambien and had bad side affects with it then tryed seroquel with lunesta and that worked great for me. let me say once i got on the right sleeping meds my whole mood changed and i realized it wasnt the suboxone makeing me like that it was the fact i was getting no sleep. sleep is the most important thing for a human. think about it u ever have to stay up all night with you baby then the next day you didnt feel like yourself? maybe thats what hes going threw? hes so tired that he doesnt seem like the husband you remember and no sleep def can add to the no sex drive. one thing with people addicted to pain killers for a normal person they would make u tired but for a addict they make us all peeppy and up and really happy. now that he doesnt have that hes adjusting to sub but at the same time the no sleep thing could really ware on a person. i think you should maybe go with him to his next sub dr app and talk to him one on one and letting know the truth and how you fell and maybe you could work together to get yous husband back to normal.

but i do think if you find the right sleeping medication it will help alot.


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Apr 17, 2010 11:57 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Sat Apr 10, 2010 10:19 pm
Posts: 4
Bboy, you sound exactly like my husband. He was always very social before the pills, but very isolated once he was really addicted, and now, he is pretty isolated as well. He has not tried the Lunesta yet, the Trazadone and the Seroquel do put him to sleep (and keep him that way), but he is not able to wake up the next day. Even taking the sleeping meds at 9 pm, he can't really wake up until 11 am the next day, and even then, he is still a little out of it. I do agree that a lot of the way he is acting now is due to lack of GOOD sleep. I have thought about going to one of his appts with him, but I don't want to over step my boundries. I know this is his struggle, something I don't understand at all, and he needs to get through it on his own. All I can do is support him as much as I can along the way. Thanks again to everyone for all of the advice, it really has helped.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:45 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
About the sleep thing...I take trazodone myself and I recall when I first started taking it I was groggy when I awakened. But that only lasted for a few days and has since gone away completely. I used to take Seroquel, but I had many problems with it. The main one being that it had me practically knocked out the whole day.

I'm thinking (and this is just my opinion) that if he took only the trazodone he might still be able to sleep. If not they can always increase the dosage. I really believe eventually he'd be waking up alert. Unless he needs the seroquel for a psychiatric condition, I'd also suggest talking to the doc about him going off of it. Again, this is just my non-medical opinion. When I went off it I felt SO much better.

Just my two cents. Keep on keeping us posted. It's always good to hear from you.
Take care.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 11 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group