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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 12:58 pm 
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Hey everyone!

OK, i am 24 hours since I took my last sliver - about 1 mg. quick recap, been on suboxone for 18 days for a 6 month percocet binge. feeling good mentally, have an amazing husband and every time I look into the eyes of my 2 little boys, it makes me happy and realizing why I am going through this. I cant have both. its either the pills or everything else, and for me, everything else is alot - husband, kids, nice house, vacations, friendships etc... I have been through worse physically (labor), but there is something about labeling "opiate withdrawals" that triggers even worse feelings. anyway, so far, not terrible. chills on and off, bad back achiness, mild anxiety. have not had an appetite, but trying to eat a little and drink lots of gatorade and water. been going to the gym everyday. even though i am tired and sluggish, i always feel better after I have broken a good sweat. i know the worst is yet to come so I would really like some encouragement, stories, feedback, suggestions to get me through! PLEASE!

thanks!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 1:49 pm 
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Hi mwflorida!

I have not yet jumped from Sub, but I have tapered down to a pretty low dose (about half a mg) AND I've quit CT from higher doses of my DOC.

These are the things that have helped me:

1) Decatastrophize - WTF does that mean? I learned it from SMART. It's just stoping your brain when it goes to that place where it's all like: This Is the Worst. Thing. Ever! There's No Way I Can Do This!! Seems like you've already started that by telling yourself that you've been through labor & birth (that was really hard, right?). When I start thinking to myself that I can't handle feeling this bad, I stop the thought, remind myself that I HAVE been through worse and made it through, and that this won't last forever.

2) Distraction - Keeping busy to the extent that I'm able really helps. Participating here, swimming, watching funny movies, reading, playing video games, talking to friends, even cleaning up my house. Usually I don't want to do anything when I don't feel well, but when I force myself I feel better.

3) Meds - Clonidine helps with my chills, yawning, anxiety, insomnia. I only take it when I can't sleep because it makes me so tired, but not sleeping really messes with me, so it'a big help. Your mileage may vary. Ibuprofin seems to help my aches, sometimes. I haven't had stomach issues with the Sub withdrawal yet but have used Immodium in the past.

4) Smoothies - Haven't had much of an appetite during decreases, but fresh smoothies are awesome. I get ones with extra protein and B vitamins. yum.

5) Support network - I talk and vent to my partner and a few friends.

6) Exercise. Yeah! Endorphins!

8) When I'm overwhelmed, I just break it down into smaller chunks. I can get through the next however many minutes. I used this trick during a really painful labor - posterior and my daughter's head was at a weird angle. I've had to do it a few times when I did too fast of a taper with Sub too.

9) Believe in yourself. You can do it. This is doable. Find positive tapering stories. If you want some links, PM me and I will get them for you. I know it's challenging to keep a positive attitude, but it really helps. That said, when you can't do so, feel the feeling and then let it go.

10) Lastly, I hope you've made a plan for your aftercare. Whatever triggered your percocet binge - has that been changed or fixed or whatever? For me it was pain and depression, so I've used this whole time on Sub to learn new coping tools and to get my body and mind healthier. Everyone has triggers to use, so knowing what those are and having a plan for what you will do in the face of that is crucial. I really like the SMART recovery website, they have lots of good stuff on there to help figure this stuff out. I don't go to meetings but I do have a recovery plan (besides taking Sub) and I notice when I don't follow it. It's not like I relapse onto drugs, but I definitely relapse into crappy old thinking patterns - and that's almost as bad.

Please get in touch with me or post here if you just need to talk or get support. You are in the process of doing something so good for yourself and everyone you love. You're so lucky you stopped after just a six month binge. So many of us went on for far too long mucking up our lives. But you stopped it and you have a chance to stay stopped, yay! Good for you.

I wish you the best of luck and I'll be thinking of you. Let me know if you need anything.

_Allie

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You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


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 Post subject: GO FOR IT!!!!!!!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:15 pm 
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Hi mwflorida,
You are an insperation to all of us that are going to have to do what your doing right now!
I am aways away from any dosing changes but, will be watching & prayng for you. Like DOAQ said you are lucky to
have gotten out after 6 months. You should be proud you saw the problem and are trying to fix it... Good for you and your family....... Try to stay focused and remember you have been thru worst things......
Lean on your support system (ie, Husband, friends, us... )
Keep in touch with the forum on your progress!!
Best of Luck & God Bless!!!!!!!!!
Tom


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 3:59 pm 
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thank you guys so much! i am doing OK... may be feeling worse in the next few days though! I appreciate the encouragement that you took the time to give me. I guess I am lucky that I caught it after a few months, but nonetheless, it happened. I am quite honest with myself, and even though I know I am an addict, ironically I dont have many of the same mindtricks that are supposedly par for the course. never hit a bottom, havent lost anything, am not in denial etc... but I DO need to fix it. for my aftercare... I am open to anything. being honest with my husband is crucial. i removed my chart from the pain clinic where I went to and told them I am not coming back, destroy my chart, that helped. I am also going to resume accupuncture. Accupuncture helped me get pregant with both of my children when we faced fertility issues. there is a specific treatment for opiate cravings and I am very fortuante that I have the means to do this, 75 dollars a session, but it works wonders. I have to remind myself daily what I have, and what I have to lose. I am also trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, and while there is nothing funny about addiction, at all, it is ok to keep things light. my husband I and I joke that when we hit 75, we can pop as many pills as we want and go out on a 15 year bang, but until then, nothing! i will do it, you will too, keep the messages coming, please!!!

mw


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:27 pm 
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YOU CAN DO IT....the easiest days are 1,2,3, and you are amazing in my eyes if your actually able to keep active while going through the sub withdrawls....I am about 8 days clean now of subs and today was the first day I actually was productive and up moving around. I found it so hard to muster up the energy to stop feeling sorry for myself and to quit bitchin' about my back pain and restless legs (though looking back it was completely bearable). So you are way ahead of the game and sounds like you are doing everything right!!!! Keep up the good work, and keep reading the posts here, everyone here can sympathize/empathize because we have all been though it in some way. You've made it so far, and it's only a matter of days before you are feeling great, super proud of yourself, and clear headed again. Best wishes :)


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 Post subject: 75! Woo hoo!
PostPosted: Mon Jun 01, 2009 11:42 pm 
You're absolutely right about the humor. Addiction/recovery is filled with dark and disgusting moments. If you can mix in a few jokes, it will make it a lot easier. When you said that thing about turning 75, it reminded me of the grandpa in "Little Miss Sunshine"....he's like "F@#% it, I'm OLD!"

Florida, it sounds like you're on the right track. Whether its 6 months or 6 years, you're still going through this right now, just like all of us here. When you're down and depressed, just close your eyes and think about how lucky you actually are. You're catching this nightmare before it really gets started. People lose careers, houses, friends, and families. They lose everything.

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted.


Patrick


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:04 am 
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Wow, this is encouraging. With stories like this and the wonderful support I may see the light at the end of the tunnel for my girl. She should be the one sitting here at this computer. I tell her everything I learn...but it's not the same. It sure is helping me to help her though.


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 Post subject: day 2...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 6:52 am 
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thanks everyone for the comments. not even 7 am this morning, day 2, hanging out with my kids and husband, who is trying to make me eat some breakfast. doing ok, not feeling great, but very spunky! I was reading last night, and it occurred to me that addicts are verry cool people. we are some of the smartest, most resourceful, creative people that there are! if we can use our powers for evil (drugs), we can use them for good (not drugs)! day by day, taking it day by day... Im glad my humor comment went over well. No disease is funny, but even for breast cancer, they have the "save the tatas shirt", just infusing a little humor! I am paying the price for 6 months of floating around in a blissful state. now I have to pay. Keep it clean and straight for the next 40 years and I will be rewarded with the last 10 of my life going out in a blissful state! good balance? LOL! I'll keep posting, you keep posting..

xoxo


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 1:07 pm 
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Go Florida!

Your good attitude will take you far. And good lord, if we couldn't laugh at ourselves...I shudder to think what would become of us. :lol:

I like to think of my withdrawal symptoms as signs that my brain is correcting itself. I messed with my nervous system by doing drugs, and it has to figure out it's way back to normal. Hence, I feel crap...but it will get better.

Keep up the good work.

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-Jack Kornfield


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 Post subject: Keep Up The GOOD Work
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 2:50 pm 
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Hi Florida,
Just wanted to check in w/you......
you have a great attitude to take this thing head on!!!
Be sure to use your support system when things get tough..
Like I said before you are an insperation to us that going to go thru it someday. I don't know when I will start that phase of my recovery but I think for me it is down the road a bit?? Well keep up the good work & Stay strong.......

Good Luck!!
TW


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 Post subject: day 3 update...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 02, 2009 3:56 pm 
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hey everyone!

hanging in there... nothing too bad, just irritable and achy, no biggy. I feel so humbled that I am inspiring anyone with this, but it certainly is giving me motivation to not let anyone (myself first) down! Just to clarify, I have no issues, no judgement and no problems with people staying on suboxone for as long as they need to, even if that be for life. I just felt for me, since everything happened within a short time span and the majority of my life I ahve not used any kind of drug, I needed to rid myself of everything, but nobody knows what the future holds and I am glad to know suboxone is there should I ever need it, but I am keeping a strong mind that I wont... thank you all again and please keep em coming!


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 Post subject: Day 4 is Next....
PostPosted: Wed Jun 03, 2009 8:21 am 
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Hi FLA.
Congrat's on day 3!!!!
Your mind sounds like it is right where it should be. You are right nobody knows what lies ahead of us other than I know I will be an opiate addict for life. I can say that now without cringing because I may be an addict but I am in the recovery stage of this disease and I pray I stay in recovery!! The one thing I know about the recovery stage is it is a life long stage and I am OK with that.....
Again Florida keep up the battle, Keep us posted, and Yes you are inspiring.......

God Bless
Tom


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