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PostPosted: Mon Mar 12, 2018 10:35 pm 
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I am leaving this forum due to personal matters/privacy concerns. Thank you all for your help and quick replies!


Last edited by SubWayC2O on Wed May 16, 2018 9:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 12:12 pm 
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Are you listening to yourself? It's a running tape of addict talk. Throw out the Suboxone and find a recovery program that will help guide you away from that sort of thinking. Smart Recovery is one and I can post all the links that we know of for about all the 12 step and other programs out there. Just ask.
The only way you're going to beat this addiction is to seek help. But first you need to admit you have a big problem, which you've done by posting this message. Good start for now.

Stop the addict brain from making decisions about your life. Throw out the Suboxone and seek help. Post all you want here as we too are an online recovery site if that helps. We will support you all the way to stay clean.

Welcome here and I hope you start making some rational choices.

rule

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 4:21 pm 
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I can't say it any better than Rule. Reading your post had me thinking, first, what person with a history of opioid dependence and treatment would keep a pile of ANY opioid around, knowing where it always leads? I'm also impressed by the confidence that everything will be fine forever except for buprenorphine! Everyone here remembers thinking to themselves 'I would never use THAT'!

Then I'm thinking, buprenorphine is not a good 'drug of choice'. I was just speaking with a person about how the med works, the halflife, etc... a person with a limited opioid tolerance will feel an opioid effect the first time taking it, but because of the long halflife and ceiling, there will be limited effect the second day. So I assume the writer is alluding to some effect gained from taking buprenorphine every day--- and effect that is either nonexistent or subtle, depending on who is talking. It shows the complicated nature of addiction, where people are driven by dopamine in the brain with opioids, rather than by choice.

The cap on buprenorphine appears to limit 'addiction' to buprenorphine as the sole opioid. Other opioids cause large swings of opioid tone. Buprenorphine causes a rise that becomes minimal after tolerance, and stays minimal. This leads to a point I want to make: People who take buprenorphine correctly, with the right intention, as prescribed, are not 'addicted to buprenorphine.' They are physically dependent, but not addicted. BUT-- I assume buprenorphine CAN be used addictively, like any opioid. The presentation would be different from addiction to heroin or oxycodone, because the effects of the two are very different. Maybe addiction to buprenorphine is less 'dramatic'... but if it is addiction it will likely lead to the same problems, albeit more slowly.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 23, 2018 9:39 am 
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SubWayC2O wrote:
I'm pretty early in the game. I've already beat bupe once. Was able to stay off for nearly 5 whole years. But that was mainly due to the fact that I no longer had a script. I worked with multiple doctors to slowly taper me off over the course of two years, and once I was around the 0.025 area I just jumped ship completely. Never noticed a thing.

Now, years later, I have access to buprenorphine/naloxone once again. Same story as last time. Not using it to beat some other active opiate addiction, it's just for the love of Suboxone itself.

So like I said in the beginning, I'm still just getting started here. I dont want to delve too deep into it for fear of not being able to get off again. I've only taken it a handful of times thus far, and each time I've been able to wait a few weeks in between. One time I was even able to go over a month before giving in. Although that's not really the way I like to think about it. It felt more like experimentation to me.

So now here I stand. It's been a little over a week. I've done plenty of exercise and healthy eating and life style habits in the mean time. I feel like I'm completely free of this drug. That is, except for the desire to use. What I'm trying to say is, I'm not suffering from any withdrawal symptoms what so ever.

The easiest way for me to compare it would be kind of like my relationship with food. I know it's around, I know I'm going to eat some EVENTUALLY, but for the most part I'm able to contain myself and always make what seems like the right choice at the time.

So what should I do? There's no way I can even fathom just outright throwing away all 20 of my 8mg pills, along with some of the main brand strips that I have at my disposal.

On the other hand, there's also no way for me to say that realistically I will be able to say no to them forever. I mean, they are always just sitting there within arms reach. So what are my options here?

This could have been me a couple of years ago, and also probably in the future. I'm currently tapering off the subs and your post made me see what to expect in the future. I have already been thinking of what i will do with my subs that is left when i'm done tapering. You just answered my question.

Thank you for posting this, it means a lot to me!


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