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PostPosted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:47 pm 
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Hello,

I have been lurking on this site for years and i'm so glad to have found it as it has been a wealth of knowledge. I guess I should start with my story. I am 27 years old and have been on suboxone for three years now. I was never "addicted" to anything however I was dependent on loritabs about four years ago. I had foot surgery and took loritabs for 2-3 weeks, when pain was gone I abruptly stopped taking meds and went through a mild withdrawal. This scared the shit out of me having never experienced that feeling so I called my doc and he tapered me off of them quickly and I was fine. All the while I had been suffering from extreme migraines and fibromyalgia type pain due to adrenal insufficiency (for years) and noticed that the opioids really helped with that while on them for foot surgery, so I found a doctor (months after the foot surgery) and he prescribed me 120 loritab 10mg. I started taking them when I had a migraine and then I just stared taking them every day but never more than two to three a day. I got a bunch of flack from my boyfriend about this so I tried to stop taking them but again went through withdrawal and got scared. So I called my phycollogist who also was an addiction specialist and she gave me comfort meds and I slept for a week straight and then was fine.

Then months later I took one loritab after being very sore from a snowboarding trip and got into yet again another fight with my bf. I got scared and did some research and found that suboxone was used to treat pain and depression/anxiety so I found a doc and got signed up.
Dumbest thing I could have ever done, because now three years later and countless losses in my life due to this drug I am now trying to get off. The highest dose I was at was 6mg for maybe 6 months and the rest of the time about 4mg, last year at 2mg. I gave myself four months to wean off of 2mg and now I'm at .25mg, and I've decided this Sunday will be my last day taking sub. I have to go back to work on Friday of next week giving myself four days off. I could request the time off but I only work 5 hour shifts fri,sat,sun with mon-Thursday off so I figured I'd just suck it up and do the damn thing. This week at .25 was pretty rough and now I'm pretty scared about what is to come once Monday rolls around. I have read just about every taper/withdrawal story on here and I realize my experience will not be the same and the next persons however any feedback would be nice. I'm a pussy when it comes to this shit as you have read so I really just need some reassurance that I can get through this.

Although scared of the shitty process of withdrawal, I am so excited to be off of this crap. It has ruined my sex drive, my mood, my friendships, my relationship with my bf of 12 years, several jobs and so much more.

Sorry so long and drawn out however I need to vent to someone as my bf is sick of hearing about it. Do you think my withdrawal will be bad jumping off at .25mg. I tapered down 1/16 of a 2mg strip every week leaving me at .25 this week. I could go one more week but the tapering withdrawal is awful so I'm just going to jump on Monday. I'm hoping my withdrawal will be minimal but I guess we will see. I will update each day after my last dose if anyone cares to e bar about it.

Thank you in advance for reading and writing if u do. Take care,


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:25 am 
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Hello,

Many people have made it through a jump similar to yours - if you are mentally ready you can power through it. But don't beat yourself up if it doesn't stick. I want to give you encouragement if you are already committed to doing your jump but If you are already feeling bad at .25, jumping to zero mg will probably feel bad. Going from 2mg to nothing in 4 months is pretty quick. the longer you stay at each dose gives your brain and receptor system time to compensate. 1 week per change can be a bit quick in some cases.

I have been tapering for a long time and a big thing at low doses is splitting that .25mg dose into 3 and taking every 8 hours instead of just one dose per day. Dr Junig highly recommended this and it makes so much of a difference at low doses. Under the ceiling, the effect from sub wears off in 6-8 hours instead of over 24 hours like a maintenance dose. Give it. Try for your last few days, you may be surprised.

In any case. Do you have any comfort meds this time? Sub withdrawal is less intense but more drawn out. Clonidine seems to be pretty great for sub withdrawal. People have done without it but so so many say how much clonidine helps.

You did taper so it should be easier, some have jumped off 8 mg and gone thru. Please let us know how it goes in any case.

-glen b


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 2:44 am 
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Thank you so much for the quick response, I'm so impressed with the support on this forum. I have been splitting my dose in half for the entire taper process, I take .125 twice daily right now. I would taper longer if i had more patience but it just seems like an unfair trade to taper for so long and feel like crap when i know i could just jump now and get it over with. Im so ready to be done with this and it has taught me a great lesson.

I'd say I feel much better today and yesterday wasn't too horrible. I don't know if it was the new drop or the fact that I got my "monthly visitor" (sorry tmi). I don't have any clonidine but I do have Xanax- the last time I was prescribed clonidine it made me way too weak and sedated so I chose not to ask for it. As controversial as this may sound...I do also have some hydrocodone. At first I was planning on tapering, jumping and then taking those for a week or so to get by but then I read that it won't let the receptors heal. I'm not worried about getting hooked on them I'm just worried about withdrawal in general. I'm going to do my best w/o any opioids, just Xanax and Tylenol.

I really do appreciate any feedback and hope to hear more, thank you thank you thank you!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:14 pm 
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Hey Dugal,

Welcome to the forum!!!

I don't think your jump from .25mg to zero is going to be any worse than your taper. IMO, you'll feel shitty for a few days, then most likely come out of it.

I'm going to say that 50% of what you feel when you jump is going to come from knowing you jumped. KWIM?

Xanax will help knock the edge off the wd, that's for sure, just be careful with them, OK?

The best advice I can give you is to try and stay busy. If you can keep your mind occupied, things will be much easier.

BTW, I understand you're a big pussy when it comes to wd, we ALL are!!!

Don't sweat this, I honeslty don't think your wd will be horrid or anything like that.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:23 pm 
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Hi!

I recently (well 66 days off subs and clean) jumped I was on around .1 mil a day maybe a bit less for around 6 months total time on subs around a year and half. I stared on 12 went to 8 down and down and down I never stayed on a high dose from day 1. I can only tell you from my experience the first 3-4 days were the worst, not horrid I want to die but not comfortable. Subs has a LONG half life... See I have detoxed from methadone in the past and if I compare it too that Subs are not bad to come off of, in your situation it might "feel" worse than mine because you do not have that to compare it too. I can tell you I went to work 2 weeks later. I had chills, no sleep or barely any, about a month in I was able to sleep all night. The shits.. gross I know but yeah not fun have Imodium on hand. Also and this was the worse part for me... the Anxiety, anxiety I have never felt before. It gets better slowly .I promise just get over that first hump and you can do it I feel great now it took a bit for that fog to lift. Also I hope you have a support system it is so very important.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 08, 2013 1:31 pm 
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I just wanted to add one more thing that helped me actually a lot when that anxiety made me feel like I was going to jump out of my skin and that was my husband taking me for a ride in the car... seriously day or night we drove for an hour or two or three we did this for days, to the beach just being out the house in movement helped my brain. I would put the music on and leave my head. I just thought I would through that out there.


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 Post subject: It's d day!
PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:48 pm 
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Hello,

Firstly, thank you to all who took the time to post a reply to my post. It means the world to me to be heard and understood by so many others who are in my same situation. I want to apologize for not responding sooner however I had to work all weekend and now I'm at home with my "vacation" time to get through this.
Today has been 32 hours since my last dose (who's counting right?!) at 10 am yesterday. I slept fine last night and woke up this am with some pretty jittery nerves waiting for the hammer to strike. I know everyone says the withdrawal won't happen till day 3 but with my tapering experience I usually would feel like crap on days two and three and better on days 5-7. I already have had some bowel issues for the past week and this morning felt like it wiped me out. I took a walk this am and them laid in the sun for a bit, took a shower, ate some lunch and then I was exhausted. I tried to take a nap but woke up with hot sweats and a feeling of "something is missing". I'm not going grocery shopping with my bf and its 6pm now. I'm going to update each day so that 1) maybe I can help one person and 2) so that it gives me something to do.
Again I really appreciate your feeback and hope that this goes quickly and without too much discomfort. I've been through a lot so I hope that this isn't horrible.

Till tomm.- Sarah


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PostPosted: Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:22 pm 
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Hi Dugal,

Just wanted to tell you that I am following your progress. It is very encouraging to see that there are so many others on this forum going through what I am about to. Somehow it seems to alleviate a little bit of the stress from the situation for me to see others make it through their process okay. Good luck, I hope you feel better very quickly!


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 10:08 pm 
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Imodium AD works wonders for the bowel issues. And if you still have bowel issues after that, go get some of those baby butt wipes (the wet ones), they'll literally save your ass!!! Trust me on this one!!! LOL

It's also perfectly normal to feel exhausted during wd. The only problem with that is, if you listen to your brain and sit around, you'll start paying more and more attention to how crappy you feel and it's like a feedback loop from hell. I know your brain is probably telling you to sit down and rest, but you have to force yourself as much as you can to do something.....anything.

How did your day go today?

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 Post subject: Well, it is what it is
PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:38 pm 
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Hello,

It's Wednesday evening and I guess I'll describe the whirlwind that was the last two days. I'd like to begin with saying that I'm not proud of what I've done but I guess we are all different.
Monday night:
After grocery shopping and eating dinner I was exhausted. I smoked some pot and felt pretty good and relaxed as my legs were so sore and cramps like I had just run a marathon. I have never felt this sore and uncomfortable in my life. I had been taking Tylenol all day and it took the edge off a bit. So at 11pm ish I took two .5mg Xanax and another Tylenol and tried to go to bed. I started out in our normal bed but I kept flopping around so I moved to the guest bedroom, then the couch, then back to normal bedroom. My legs hurt so bad that I put some tiger balm on them thinking that would be the solution. It was 4am and between the leg cramps and the hot flashes I broke down and took a .125mg strip of sub and fell right to sleep.
Tusday:
When I woke up i was still feeling tired/crappy yet somewhat better due to dosing. I was so pissed that I backtracked and knew i couldnt do this without some help. So I called my old phsychiatrist and got in for a11am appointment. I got ready and s howed up for appt. While waiting the receptionist said she was glad I came bc out of all the opioids they detox people from, suboxone seems to be the hardest and she was glad I came for help. I saw the doctor and she said the same thing . Now- I'm not trying to scare anyone and I don't want you to think you can't do it, I'm a pussy and my body has been through a lot over the past 6 months. I had just weaned off of steroids that I was on for a year and I just had a spinal tap a month ago. Plus I have somehow lost 20 pounds over past 6 months leaving me underweight. So-she gave me chlonidine, baclofen, gabapentin and phenobarbital. These meds are the same used for benzo detox so i decided to stop taking my xanax also. I started taking them at around 1:30 an felt much better. I am instructed to take these meds four times a day. I tried going to bed at 11pm and slept for two hours and woke up at 1am went downstairs and ate some cereal and went back to bed. I woke up this morning at 8 am feeling quite loopy and drunk yet not detoxing. I'm glad I made the decision to get detox meds as now I can kill two birds with one stone and. One out of this completely drug free. I got the weekend off so I don't have to go back to work till next Friday. I think that if I would have tapered longer and then skipped days I could have just walked off of suboxone with minimal withdrawal. However I think I actually jumped off of more than .25 mg as I kept dosing up every Sunday before my Monday dosage drop.
In conclusion, I have come to realize through this experience that perhaps I am an addict and I need to admit it, deal with it and learn from it. I have learned a lot through the last four years and I hope that my experience doesn't discourage anyone. Thank you again for your support and responses. I think that I should be fine until I'm taken fof detox meds in a week and then we shall see how I feel as this drug seems to take longer to come out of the body.
Going to go make dinner now, will post again soon.

Take care- Sarah


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:00 pm 
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No I dont think its you being an addict, but trying to cope from withdrawals from suboxone.

I think in hindsight tapering may make withdrawals extended and worse, its a shame when people think they did a good taper yet suffer tremendously and how it last for several months. If one can't cope with jumping off from 0.25 then there must be some truth when people complain about the same symptoms as when they do not taper. Perhaps the half life of sub makes withdrawals suck and last long even with a taper.

I have read too many cases of people tapering to low doses yet still feeling bad 1 year later, what with paws and depression, this is quite scary and I feel for those people.

I cant imagine how a 6 months taper can reduce 1-2 years of PAWS.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:51 pm 
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Don't beat yourself up for taking some Suboxone.

Some people experience decent wd symptoms even jumping off .25mg. I think Dr. J. actually recommends tapering to .05mg before jumping? Just think of what you did as skipping days to continue lowering your tolerance.

Does your doctor know you're going cold turkey off Xanax?

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 Post subject: One week
PostPosted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 9:41 pm 
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Hello all,

So to update it's been about one week now since my last dose of suboxone. I went through the outpatient medical detox and I'm definitely glad I did. I've got two more doses of these meds (tonight and tomm night). I had a few nights of extreme rls and I haven't really gotten a full 8 hours of sleep in a week but that's to be expected I guess. I can't even imagine what it would have been like without those meds, I guess I've never really experienced a true opiate withdrawal so I have no comparison. My doctor did know that i was coming off my xanax cold turkey thats why shes having me take the meds for a couple more days. I cant beleive i was able to do both at the same time, and im so happy to come out of this completely drug free. I was taking .25 mg of xanax once daily for two years. So we shall see how I'm feeling once I'm completely off these meds on Friday, I hope the paws isn't too annoying. Just want to thank you all again for all the support and encouragement throughout this process. It's amazing how much more alive I feel already! Good luck to anyone about to jump off in the near future, you can do it!

Take care,
Sarah


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