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PostPosted: Wed Mar 25, 2015 6:17 pm 
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Hey guys. I've never posted in this section. I've been hanging out in the pregnancy thread for the past 9 months. Now I have a new issue that's really bothering me.
While pregnant, my doctor and I decided I would taper my dose. I got down to 3 mg, which was hard, but doable during pregnancy. But now, I KNOW I need an increase in dose. I've asked twice since my baby was born (4 weeks ago). My dr had said no both times, saying that they don't increase anyone's dose there.
I'm a stay at home mom with one who just turned 2 and a 4 week old. My oldest is hard enough to deal with. My youngest...good lord I'm about to lose it. He's not a good sleeper and he cries the whole time he's awake if not held. I could go on and on about how hard this is, but the point is my dose isn't holding me.

My last relapse was after my daughter was born due to extreme stress. I've been burning through my script and having to buy more off the street. This is also a problem because one 8 mg strip is $35 around here and I'm having a hard time explaining the money away to my husband. (He wouldn't understand if I was truthful).

I'm not hardly sleeping and when I'm awake, I can't do anything but deal with 2 whiny babies. My cravings are through the roof!! If I stay at 3 mg, which I'm not, I have nothing to gain but everything to lose if I relapse. However, I'm afraid if I tell my dr that I'm having to buy extra that he'll kick me out. There are only 2 sub drs in my town full of opi addicts begging to get in. So it would be nothing for him to lose me as a patient. How can I explain to him that I need more without looking like I have the wrong intentions? I'm more than willing to decrease my dose when things get easier and level out. But he doesn't seem to care at all.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 12:51 pm 
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Hi there..

I just wanted to let you know that I can totally relate! I got off of sub while pregnant (nightmare) my son was born healthy by C-section.. I tried to stay off of everything after he was born (I was on an anti-depressant as well before pregnancy) I was trying to be "strong" but having to take pain killers after C-section really messed with me... My son would also cry if he was awake and not being held constantly for the first 4 months.. then he needed to be constantly entertained.. I couldn't leave him in a swing and do dishes or eat or anything so I get it..

I then played around with hydros on and off until about 6 weeks ago I got back on 2mg sub but have been going on and off them because I am scared about custody issues..

Anyway, I just do not at all understand why your doc would not increase you a bit.. is it a man or women.. do they have any idea about the challenges after birth? :?:

Thankfully my Sub doc use to be an OB/GYN... so he totally gets it..

I am glad your son is doing well.. I kept up on your posts in your other thread because I could totally relate... I barely made it off while pregnant.. but that was at 5 months and I literally could not get out of bed the rest of my pregnancy.. so I can see how you could not with a little one to take care of.. there would be no way I could have done anything other than lie in bed and watch TV.. My body was trying to detox and make a baby....

Take care.. Hope you can get the relief you are looking for from your doc!

NC


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:34 pm 
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Hey GMH,

I have no idea why they wouldn't understand why you need to up your dose. The fact is, you only decreased your dose to start with because of the pregnancy, so it's definitely not a simple dose increase just because you want to. Have you told them about the circumstances surrounding your last relapse? I would think that any decent doctor would want to prevent that same thing from happening again, and at least put you back on the dose you were taking pre-pregnancy.

I'm not saying you can't make it work at 3mgs. But, with the added stress of the new baby, and all of the post baby hormones raging, it could be just enough to drive you to need that increase. Also, if you went through this whole taper with the thought in your mind that you would be able to go back to your higher dose once the baby was born, it can set up an unfulfilled expectation that may trigger those cravings again. It doesn't matter why it happened, the fact is it did, and he needs to see that the most important thing right now is getting you back into a good place and controlling those cravings!

I'm sorry you are having to deal with an ignorant provider. I definitely wouldn't give up if you haven't really explained how close to relapse you are. I get not wanting to tell him every detail, but he needs to see the severity of the problem, and be willing to listen. Not just give a standard answer like "we never increase doses in this clinic".

If all of your efforts fail and he won't listen, please reach out to an NA group or something like that to help you get through this next few months. That monster in your head has been poked, and it's not going to lie down and go back to sleep on it's own. You have to do whatever it takes to protect your sobriety right now.

Please be careful!

Q

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 26, 2015 7:13 pm 
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Crazy. I don't get the attitude that some docs have, that people always need to be in taper mode. Your tolerance is about the same whether you take 4 mg per day or 16 mg per day, so it isn't as if you are making some type of 'progress'. But... I don't see anything you can do about it. We need to have more doctors willing to treat people with buprenorphine, so that there will be some competition that weeds out the bad docs.

Does your doc discuss a 'treatment plan' with you? Do you ever talk about where things are going? Would your doc ever accept the idea of just getting to a stable place, and then staying there until you are ready... even if that takes a long time?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 27, 2015 6:03 pm 
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NC--thanks so much for your reply. It helps to hear of someone that just "gets it" when it comes to caring for little ones. I hope that your situation gets straightened out quickly for you, and in your favor.

Q-- My doctor is a male psychiatrist. I spoke with him today, which I'll tell about in a moment. He knows "everything" and completely discounted everything I said.

Doc-- My doctor has never once mentioned a treatment plan. The standard visit goes like this -- sign in, give urine sample, go to window to pick up script and schedule next appointment. The only time the doctor is seen is when someone demands it, (as I did today) or if they're wanting to decrease your dose.

After a horrible fight with my husband last night left me in a total mess, I went straight to the clinic this morning with no appointment and both babies in tow. After sitting for over an hour, the doctor decided to see me. I immediately burst into tears and said "I need you to listen and please help me." He told me that my life is what many others would consider privileged, so I shouldn't say I hate my life. I was then told that what I'm experiencing is normal life with two young children and that women go through this everyday. It gets easier, he said.
As for my cravings, he said those were all in my head and that at my dose, there wouldn't be any so I'm obviously creating the problem on my own. He then wrote me a prescription for an anti-depressant. He wasn't even going to address the fact that I said I needed my dose increased and had already taken my doses for next week. I was about to panic. I asked "So what do I do about next week? Just be sick till my next appointment?" He rolled his eyes, sighed, and said "well I'll give you a few more but I'm LOWERING your dose from 3 mg to 2 mg. More suboxone is not what you need." His suggestion was that I just listen to classical music when I felt I needed another dose. I feel so let down. What do I have to do to get my point across? Ruin everything I've worked hard for and come to my next appointment strung out and incapable of life? What a complete joke!! I hate where I live! There isn't a single good resource for help, in an area that so desperately needs it.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 8:01 am 
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GMH

When i read what your doctor did to you my blood pressure went up! I am so disgusted with his response :twisted: :twisted: :evil:

Please don't think about him decreasing you...he may forget next visit. I could see him saying no if you were at 16 mg but You are not!

I have to go (baby crying) but i will come back later and finish my thoughts.

Hugs to you Doll


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 4:02 pm 
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I'm also disgusted and don't really know what to say. It's probably obvious to you that you need to look for a new doctor ASAP!

Don't despair! You will make it through and you will find someone different who isn't such a d-bag! I'm so sorry you're going through this!

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2015 10:23 pm 
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Thank you Tiki and Amy. I would love to find a new doctor, but there's only one more in my area. The other doctor requires weekly visits plus 2 counseling sessions a week. I can't do that with two babies. I feel stuck.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 7:53 am 
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Hey Doll

How far is the next town where there are sub doc's? Also the other doc in town, what about a call to the office to explain your situation (new baby, 2 year old, cravings, fear of relapse etc), ask if they know of any help for you and if they have an emergency opening. I don't think it can hurt but it may help.

Also try the "find a sub doctor" link on the suboxone website or the NAABT (not sure if that's the name) site.

Please don't give up! Do you PM here?

I pooped out last nite with my grandson (i have custody) so never came back last nite, sorry Doll.

Hang in there!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 9:49 am 
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GiveMeHope,

Just saw ur new thread. As u know, I was always a big reader of ur pregnancy thread. I cannot believe this is happening to u. U already have ur hands full with the new baby and ur toddler, I'm sure ur stressed to the max! Bless your heart :(

Ok obviously ur Dr is a complete A-hole, we know that. I would've suggested u go see him crying and explaining ur seconds from a relapse but you've done that. I can't believe that didn't pull at this butt faces heart strings even a tiny bit. What a douche. I know what ya said about the other doctor with the counseling twice a week plus having ur two babies, but my clinic will actually let mothers bring there babies to counseling if they're quiet. Would that be an option at all? Could u call the place and see? Also some places offer private sessions if ur unable to go to the open sessions. That's something that could work for you maybe.
There's gotta be a better way besides what ur dealing with right now girl, goodness u have got to be due some good luck soon right :) I was drove crazy with my youngest when he was a baby, cried unless u held him and about gave me a nervous breakdown. Actually, not long after he was born, I became addicted. The stress was too much. So yeah, u need to get more help quick. I agree ur dose needs to be up'd. Maybe just call that other office in ur area and just ask em some questions, u never know what can come out of it. U def can't stay with the douche ur with now. Keep us informed on everything, try to hang in there. I'll keep you in my prayers!!

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 10:40 am 
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I just had an idea pop into my head. I can't remember if you have family or friends around who could help with the kids, and I can't remember if your family and friends know about your addiction or not. Try to find a relative/friend who would take one appointment per week. If you need to keep your addiction secret, tell them you're suffering from postpartum depression and your doctor wants you in counseling twice a week. Or if someone at church has been offering to help out, take them up on it for one of your counseling sessions per week.

There have been several moms that I have helped by watching the babies once a week for a couple of hours. Find some people who are willing to help. If you need your reason secret, mention postpartum depression. I don't even consider that a lie, because forced tapering plus an infant equal depression in my mind.

I hope this idea helps, or makes you think of another way you could do it. Keep thinking outside the box!

Amy

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 31, 2015 7:20 am 
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Good Morning

Checking in to see how you are....I am sure you are busy but hopefully you can check in soon


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