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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 3:05 pm 
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Hello everyone. I'm a 40 year old addict. Oxycodone is my drug of choice. Been battling for 6 years, and the last few months I've become completely out of hand. I snort my pills, all recreational use. I'm trying to taper, but having a hard time. I've been doing very well with my businesses, which is really hurting me more now that I have a lot of extra money. For the last 3 weeks, maybe a month, I've been averaging close to 20 30mg pills per day. Yesterday I cut back a little, did 14, today I'm up to 5.

I woke up in withdrawal, not too bad, but definitely withdrawal. I was soaked in sweat. I did my last pill last night around 830, woke up at 830am this morning.

I only have 5 more pills left for today, which will put me at 10 for the day. I want to start suboxone tomorrow.

I have used it in the past, several times, with good results. October was my most recent time, and I was down to .5mg in the morning and feeling great, after a 3 week taper. I started low as possible, which, IIRC was approximately 3mg. It was working great, but stupidly, I went in vacation, as soon as I returned I went back to these horrible pills.

My most recent time trying to transition to subs were not nearly as effective as normal. Probably because my usage has really spiked this year, significantly. Last time, which was maybe 3 months ago, I was averaging 300mg daily of oxycodone.

I waited nearly 20 hours and started my induction. I took 2mgs and waited. Still felt pretty crappy, added another 2mg about an hour later. Ended up taking about 12mgs for the first day. Next day was 8, still didn't feel normal. I was extremely surprised as sub normally works wonders for me.

So, here I am now, trying yet again. I'm extremely anxious that it will not be effective again. I am waking up with major anxiety every morning, mostly due to the fear of withdrawal. I keep postponing my induction... I was tapering oxy about 5-6 weeks ago, again close to that 20 pill per day mark, and was down to 10 per day. I ended up going back to my 20 per day.

I don't know if I should try to taper some more. It's usual not a big problem for me. I normally would be able to get down to 90mgs daily, but that seems so difficult since my dosage is through the roof right now.

Oxy has lost all the "magic" for me. I no longer receive the energy boost, my motivation to do anything is gone, and I don't feel good, not even when I'm doing 20+ per day.

I can get more oxy to try and stabilize on ten per day, just not sure if I should bother at this point, or just but the bullet and do my induction tomorrow.

I'm just tired and scared as I've never abused oxy this much in my life. I also have another great work week, and will be receiving a large sum of money this Friday.

I know the temptation will be great. Fortunately though, my mind is a little clearer right now that I've dropped my dose some. Half of me wants to stop, the other doesn't. I know ultimately where this is headed if I continue. I don't want to deal with the negatives of oxy any more. But, I don't want to be a zombie either. Last June I quite everything for 60+ days but still suffered from lethargy and no motivation. I'm very frightened of that miserable feeling as well.

So, I don't know what I want to do with my sub plan either. I absurd sub years back, I didn't really understand what it was, I just knew it took the withdrawals away. I used it for maybe 6 months, and pretty much stopped it cold turkey. It was a hellish 3 months of withdrawal and paws. After almost 4 months, I came back to normal. If I use sub this time, I want to use it right. I want to get to a very low dose. I felt absolutely amazing on low dose sub, just worried about my initial. Transition.

This is like a nightmare that won't end. Sorry for the long post, I'm a mess right now.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:08 pm 
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Hello there ! That sounds like an absolute nightmare and I'm sorry you are going through this . Sub takes a little while to work sometimes but by the third day you should be up and running . I would start at a lower dose and stay there nobody needs more than 4 mg. I would try to stick it out because if you are waking up in Withdrawl you are in pretty deep. During my using days I would snort one 30 mg daily I couldn't imagine 20 let alone 5 . I understand the anxiety because I recently got off suboxone but it all turned out fine . I would recommend giving it a few days and if it doesn't work out you can go back to pills with no ill effects . Hopefully dr. J can stop by and tell you the medical side of it because I don't know why it wasn't working for you . My advice is to stick out suboxone for a week and if it's not working go back but I mean could it be worse than waking up in withdrawals ?


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 4:31 pm 
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Thank you for the advice. I'm in pretty deep right now unfortunately. Never learn. Lol. I'm going home early from work, finish up some last minute stuff, and hopefully fall asleep. Finish the rest of my pills, which will get me through work, and wake up and hopefully start the process over again.

It definitely was working, just not near effective as usual. Just wanted to clarify. Normally, if I decide to stop, I take subs about 12 hours later, low dose, always under 4mg's,and I feel good or great.


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2016 7:33 pm 
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No-op,

Neverfoundnemo is correct. It will work but you must be patient. Considering you've had Suboxone before, your body is reacting differently to it now. Give it a few days and you'll be good.

What is the difference between this time and last few times? Are you going to end up right back on the Oxy's when you tire of Suboxone? Do you understand now why it's best to go to the doctor and have it prescribed vs getting it off the street? When you're under a physicians care, most have a recovery plan in place for you to utilize so you don't end up slipping backwards. They may want you to go to either 12 step meetings or offer their own style of addiction therapy. Some way to gauge your progress of recovery. Randon urines, etc., is the norm for those of us under a doctors care. They will also help you find the right dosage for your addiction. Mostly its a high dose in the beginning, then they taper you down to where you're comfortable and craving free.

Please seek out a doctor in your area if you haven't done so already. It wasn't mentioned in your past post so I'm just assuming you got the Suboxone illegally. just like you do the Oxy's. At least the majority of them.

All I'm saying is to have a plan of recovery. That is our goal here on the forum. Recovery from opiate addiction through the use of Suboxone & therapy. It works if you work it. The right way of course.

Keep us posted on your progress and welcome to the forum!

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 12:57 pm 
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As Rule pointed out, the main issue is to decide on your ultimate goal. I'm not sure how you are allowed to put of your induction; if I schedule a patient from the wait list and the person doesn't show for the appointment, I don't schedule them again for at least a year. Don't put yourself into that position!

Patience is necessary to get off opioids--- much more patients than most people realize. It took most people years to become addicted-- and it takes years to remove the attitudes, personality traits, and triggers that were established during active addiction. Yes, 10% or less of the people out there respond to residential treatments... but for people who want medication-assisted treatment to work, they must stay in a state of remission for at least a year, and probably longer in most people. The people I've treated who did the best are those who stayed on buprenorphine for at least 2-3 years, not using during that time.

The comments about how hard it was to stop buprenorphine.. that's just opioid withdrawal. I was sick for 2-3 months after detoxing from fentanyl years ago. The same is true coming off methadone. The problem is your opioid tolerance--- NOT the nature of the last drug you were taking, that pushed up your tolerance.


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2016 1:45 pm 
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Thank you both for your advice.

I don't have a doctor, that's how I can push off my induction. I know, not the best way to go about this at all. I've thought about going to a doc several times, and almost called this time.

I tried waiting extra time to be further in withdrawal this morning and I didn't last. I felt pretty bad, but it was mostly mental. I cracked and gave in to my desires again. Only good thing is I have 8 pills for today, less than the 10 from yesterday and 14 the previous day. I'm hoping I can get through the day with those 8, and perhaps tomorrow will be my new induction day. Or the weekend if I can cut back slightly more by Saturday.

I'm going to try to find a therapist this time around, so it can help me stay off.


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2016 6:36 pm 
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I'm going to try to find a therapist this time around, so it can help me stay off.


Now you're talking sense. Very wise choice.

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