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PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:54 pm 
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So I'm new here, gave an intro earlier. I've been on subs since feb 2012 thru a dr. I just had a baby four months ago on four milligrams of subutex and she was totally fine. I am now back up to two eight milligram strips of suboxone a day and see a different dr than the one that I had the baby through. Here's the issue... I had a c section this time, and it was horrendous, no pain meds, they gave an epi, it worked, but after surgery I was given Tordal and it didnt do anything to ease pain, I was supposed to get extra subutex iv the whole time I was there but my iv blew and they gave me the option to get extra by mouth instead which was cool with me. However the on call dr said no way cuz he didnt want me " anymore dependent than I already was". They told me to suck it up cuz there wasn't anything to be done .... This is not what was supposed to happen according to my actual ob though, who I didn't even see when I was in hospital... The whole ordeal was horrible. I started on 12 mgs and they forced me to taper down to four mgs, even though I reported having withdrawal symptoms. They were not good at dealing with the addiction part of the pregnancy.... My problem now is....

I just found out today I'm pregnant, again, four months after having a baby.

I already have a seven year old severely handicapped child from a previous marriage and her father doesn't support her at all. I have to beg him to take her at all when I need help or a break. I had to beg him to take her when I was in the hospital a few months ago having my new baby.

I'm so scared To go thru all of that again. I'm still healing from the c section. It still hurts to turn or move a certain way. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give the baby away, but I don't want an abortion. But we are so not prepared for another baby, I just had one!!!! I was getting ready to call the dr for birth control, I've been so. Busy with the other two kids they just take priority over everything. I'm scared I won't be able to deal with a pregnancy so soon. But I can't imagine not having the baby, but this is the worst thing to happen, as far as timing goes. SO scared. Stressed. W have no help at all. It's just me, my fiancé, and the kids. My family won't help. They weren't even happy about me having my last child. Thought it was a mistake since I have a handicap child already. My mom thinks my oldest doesn't get the attention. Or care she needs cuz we have a new baby which is sooo not true and she doesn't even see us to say something like that. I know everyone in family will be negative about this. I'm also scared my dr won't be able to keep treating me since I'm preg now and I do not wanna go back to the dr I just had for my previous pregnancy. Advice???


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:49 am 
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HI :D

Geez ,,,, Im sorry your in such a position right now....... You've definitely got some heavy thinking to do, and some
big decisions to be making...........I definitely do not envy where your at.

But, one thing I will say is,,, It'll all work out, one way or another, and I THINK you can handle it, too :wink:


there ARE some really good adoption programs out there, just so you know, that "support" you basically,
while you carry the baby, AND pay all your medical bills.
Just a thought.

I know all states are different, but there must be assistance out there, too availible for raising another child....


if I were you, I'd definitely do some research,,,

some SOUL-searching, too.....
and ya know, a good ol' fashoined ""Pros & Cons"" list, never hurts.... Just to WRITE IT OUT, and look at it,
at this point......

I know Im not much help, but Im trying :wink:

Hopefully you can decide what's best for YOU , your family and the baby.......

[marq=right]*********GOOD LUCK**********[/marq]

you could use this as a journal of sorts, to post how your feeling, and how/when you've come to
decisions of what your going to do....... Even though you don't "know" any of US,
we'll still encourage/support/listen,
and that ALWAYS helps!!!!
Keep us updated :wink:

Oh, and hang in there!!!

_________________
anyone can give up,
its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 7:25 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hello Livelove. First of all let me say that I am so sorry that you have this much on your plate right now. Just having a
newborn, and then finding out that you are pregnant, AND taking care of a handicapped child....WOW, let me just say
that I think that you are stronger than you even know.

It totally sucks that your mom is the way she is, but believe me, I can totally relate. I have a 21 month old son, and some
of the stupidest shit comes out of her mouth, and she has ZERO right to say ANY OF IT. Because she is NEVER here. She
likes to play the part to all of her friends, that she is the perfect Grammy. She lives 4 miles away and sees my son maybe
once a month or once every 6 weeks or so. She has absolutely no clue how much I spoil him, how much time I spend with
him, or anything else that goes on in this house. What I have had to do is set up some boundaries. She doesn't like it,
but that doesn't matter. They are for my own sanity, not her. Perhaps you could set a time limit as to how long you are
going to stay on the phone with her, BEFORE you get on the phone. Establish how long she can stay, before she comes
over. I am just throwing out some suggestions here. I hope that maybe some of it helps. I know it did wonders for me.

Now, about the pregnancy. I kinda feel the same way that Amber does about all of this. There isn't a thing in the world
that any of us can say that is going to make this all better. I feel the same way that you do about abortion, and
adoption. I couldn't carry a baby for 9 months, and just give it away to some one else. I don't even want to think about how
hard that would be.

Like I said, I feel like Amber does though. You have some serious soul searching to do. You have got to weigh out the
pros and cons of the situation. I don't know what your faith is, but I do believe that God doesn't give us more than we
can handle. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but you are going to be ok. One way or another, everything is going
to work out. Keep on talking to us here, and we will always be here to listen.

I would hold off on telling your family ANYTHING until you know for sure what your decision is regarding the pregnancy.
Keep on posting and let us know how you are feeling, and what you are thinking. Sometimes it just helps to
get it out of your head. Take care of yourself, and we'll talk to you soon....Kelly[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2012 9:05 pm 
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Hi, I just wanted to offer my support even though I don't really have any words of wisdom to give you. One thing I think you should definitely consider is your physical well being. Before you get wrapped up in can you / do you want to care for another new baby - you need to see a doctor and assess whether carrying a baby right now is even compatable with your health and healing from the c-section. You said it still hurts to turn or move a certain way, and that should definitely be of concern and needs to be addressed before you make any decisions. If you put your health in jeopardy you won't be able to take care of ANY children.
I, too, can identify with not being able to rely on family for any real help - but they love to give uninformed advice. So, when you make your decisions with your fiancé and your doctor don't let anyone else interfere - like Kelly said, don't even let them KNOW until you have your own plan in place.
There are definitely no easy answers. Please give yourself a break and take good care of yourself. Enlist as much help as you can with the physical tasks of taking care of the kids. This is a tough time even for a non-addict. So don't forget about your recovery, and do whatever you need to stay on track, even if it feels selfish. And come here to bounce ideas or vent as much as you want. We will support you no matter what.
Take care ,
Lilly


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 Post subject: Thank you guys
PostPosted: Wed Dec 26, 2012 9:30 pm 
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Just wanted to tell everyone that response to my post, thank you!!! For the support and concern. I really needed that. So an update... My doc that was giving me suboxone cut me off cold turkey, refused to write subutex even though he told me a few months ago that he has in the past given it to preg women. Soo I guess he didnt wanna do that again since my old clinic doesn't handle preggos right now.

So I was basically Up the creek, til my clinic director said he runs anothe facility in the neighboring state, that deals with preggos. For $150 a month. Due all at once. I was already paying 50 every two weeks for mine already, actually it was 100 every two weeks cuz my fiancé is on it as well. So that was crappy. But I paid it. Was broke for a while but we managed.

So I was on the subutex, still am, but started having bleeding, cramping, etc. so I went to the ER and was diagnosed as a threatened miscarriage although they didnt really explain why. Right now I am 8 weeks along, so I know anything can happen still. I still dunno what I'm going to do, I feel like whatever I do will be th wrong decision. That neither option will bring a good result. But then again, I may not even have a choice in the matter, if I wind up miscarrying. Maybe that's my sign? Of what, I'm not sure lol. All I know isi feel like crap all day and night. And what's worse is I'm behind on my meetings cuz I can barely get out of bed right now. I am staying so sick!

Just wanted to update you guys though. Thanks again for the support, it means a lot!! Glad I found this website :)

God bless. Hope you all had a great holiday!


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 12:17 am 
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You've certainly been through the ringer! I'm so sorry that you are in such tough circumstances. If you end up losing the pregnancy it is probably your body saying it's too soon to be pregnant again.

I'm glad for you that you didn't have to go off sub cold turkey from a high dose. That would have made it so hard to care for your children!

I definitely want you to keep us updated on what happens. I am pulling for you!

Amy

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2012 7:38 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey there. First thing that I wanted to say was that it just pisses me off when I hear about doctors cutting
off patients cold turkey. Idiots. I am glad, however, that you have the option of another clinic, even if it is
a little more costly.

I am so sorry to hear about the bleeding and threatened miscarriage. I kind of agree with Amy that, maybe it's
your body's way of telling you that you just cant handle another pregnancy right now. I am confident that what
ever the outcome, you will handle it with dignity and grace. After all that you have been through and are going
through right now, you are certyainly one of the strongest people I've seen around here in a while. YOu do sound
like a very strong woman. It's ok to feel overwhelmed and like you don't know which way is up. We all feel that
way sometimes. I feel like that right now. I just made an appointment with a therapist who I haven't needed to talk
to in a long time. But I just need some objective, educated advice right now, from someone who is
neutral. If that is an option for you, maybe you could talk to a therapist. It always helped me. Or journal.
Just get it out of your head.

I do wish you the best, and thank you for keeping us updated. I hope that you will continue to do so.
Good Luck to you, and Take Care~Kelly[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


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