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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 6:43 am 
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I was just curious if you found a doctor there, in your city (the one you told me about in chat the other night), or if you had to travel to Birmingham to see one of those...

There are quite a few in Bham...When I FIRST started Suboxone, about 4 years ago....I was seeing a doctor right there in Pelham (or actually I was going to a CLINIC there in Pelham, I'm sure you might know the one, just on HWY 31 in Pelham)...

Now I travel to Inverness...but I don't go past HWY 119 on 280 ..my doctor is just barely over "the mountain", Double-Oak..
It's up near ....Greystone.

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 1:12 pm 
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Maybe you mentioned it and I missed it, if so I apologize, but why can't you work? Is it because of pain you're feeling or because you still feel like crap from the withdrawals? If it's the latter maybe you should go into your shop and give it a shot.. One of the major advantages to subs is that you CAN work.. I was able to get back to work pretty much immediately and I know that's the norm- including physical jobs..

Again, if it's some other reason that you mentioned I apologize


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 2:14 pm 
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Yes the reason I havent been able to get back to work is the Withdrawal symptoms and a general not feeling up to it. Coming off such a large dose of Methadone 60mg, people are telling me it might take a few more days but not too rush it. I do feel better everyday so hopefully here in the next couple of days I'll be able to. Thnxx


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:35 pm 
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Nogroovin is right. You should try to work. The busier and more active you are during withdrawals the better you will feel. Give it a try maybe?

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:40 pm 
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I was gonna give it a try today but I had a bad night and not feeling as good as I have the past few days. My Hands are shaking a bit and I can't do the precise work with my hands shaking like they are. Maybe this evening or tonight I will feel a bit better but right now I know I can't. My work is very precise and tedious type of work. If you have ever heard of TIG welding then you know what I am talking about. No shaky hands at all, that won't do it and it is too dangerous too. I was feeling OK yesterday and though tomorrow I will try and get some work in, but after no sleep last night with that RLS crap my stomach is a bit nauseous. Thnxx for advice though.....


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 3:42 pm 
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I hear ya, One Day....that makes sense. You don't want to put yourself in a position where you'll get hurt or screw up at work. You know better than we do. Keep moving forward. :)

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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 5:12 pm 
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Yeah, Hat's right- listen to your own judgement, no one knows better than you.. That really stinks for you though because that's one of the biggest advantages to subs- being able to get right to work.. I didn't think I would be able to but I went form 800-1,000 MG's of roxy per day right into work the day I was induced.. Maybe tomorrow will be better for you.. Hang in there, it takes time but I'm sure you're making progress


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 5:48 pm 
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-NoGroovin- You musta had a $500/day drug habit, I can see how someone would need to go back to work after having to go thru about $4000.00 / week in buying pills. I wish I made that kind of money but sadly not many on here dont as people like me that dont even have Health Insurance struggle to pay for the Suboxone treatments. before I started Suboxone I had to think long and hard about if I could afford it over than just staying with that Evil Methadone that I was prescribed by my pain Doctor. It was worth the cost for me to get off of Methadone, no matter the costs. But I will still have to struggle to find a way to pay for it all, somehow/someway but I have no choice. It's either feed the Methadone Monkey or say goodbye to it forever ! Thnak goodness I never got involved with Heroin or any of those other street drugs. I have taken my fir share of chasing Lortabs,Norcos, even Roxys but I could never afford to feed a daily much less weekly habit so I had to go back to taking the prescribed Methadone.
I am just guessing about your situation but WoWee that must have been Crazy Expensive...How'd you do it??


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PostPosted: Tue May 22, 2012 8:00 pm 
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Long story.. A buddy got wrapped up in it and I fronted him the cash in exchange for getting them at cost.. I still spent my fair share of cash, but nowhere near what it would've cost..

My buddy actually had the DEA, SWAT, and local police force raid his house recently and they recovered enough evidence to hold him on 100,000 all cash bail.. He went for 3 bail reduction hearings over the course of 3 months and the FEDS case against him was so strong they never reduced it- that's pretty rare.. We're talking about a 50 year old homeowner that never even had as much as a parking ticket..

As you can imagine there's more to the story that I really shouldn't get into on a public forum.. I can say that on a sunday I decided that I was done with it all together and I was withdrawling like you could only imagine by that thursday morning at 10am when they kicked his doors in.. I was struggling not to call him and for some reason I didn't.. About 2 PM I got a text telling me that the feds picked him up.. By the following monday I was in the sub dr's office getting ready to change my life for the better.. Pretty wild,huh?

Sorry to hijack your thread


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PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 6:34 pm 
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Day 7, felt better than yesterday, which was a bump in the road. Yesterday I didnt feel good at all, just felt like a washed out W/D day. This morning was better, was doing good until this afternoon and now I have no energy at all. I did get out earlier and do some shopping. WoW the fleas in our area are awful this year, I had to go buy my Pup a flea pill and then get some carpet powder for her favorite spot to lay down. Thank Goodness the fleas were only in that one spot, her previous flea pill was wearing off so she needed another. She is also coming out of heat Finally, thank goodness. I may try and do a few things out in the shop when it cools down a bit, today was another very hot day, too hot in that metal building that is like an oven in there during the day. I always work a night during the summer anyway, I might just try some tonight, not much but get my feet wet, we will see. Did any of you feel like your Energy reserves were shot around day 7 of the first week on Sub ? I also might tray and multiple my dose for 1 in the morning and then 1 in the afternoon. Now am taking all of it in the early :AM. Maybe splitting it up might help with this feeling of listless, lack of Energy. I just got thru watching "One Day" I know all you Chicks would dig it, but all in all a good movie, Who is the guy that plays the lead character? British dude, in other movies, too old to be Obi1 Kenobee...Hmm, someone must know whom this Brit Chap is ???


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 3:10 am 
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Looking to Day 10 right around the corner. I still don't feel good, just ok, and sometimes feel like crap. I can feel those Methadone withdrawals right under the surface, but so far the Suboxone has held it back. That is the best way to describe how I feel, that the Suboxone is holding back that Ugly Methadone Withdrawals. I did manage to get out and cut some grass and do a few things with work, but not much. This is going to be a very long Journey for me. I saw in one of Dr.Junigs Q&A Videos where he was asked how long a heavy Mehtadone user might take to feel better and his answer was 4 months. That really took the wind out of my sails, this Jour ney of mine is not going to be easy or short either. But I will keep going until I no longer have to for I have to get my life back, nothing else matters to me at this point. I just can't tell you how frustrated I feel when I read how some people take their first Dose of Suboxone and they say they feel like they are on cloud Nine, jumping for joy, how the Suboxone makes them completely not have any withdrawal symptoms, and then after a short while they are off of the Suboxone and Running for President ina couple of Months...lol...I can't help but be a sarcastic. But it isnt going that way for me in any shape or form. However; I Thank whomever that I am not going thru a full blown Methadone withdrawal, now to me that is worth the ticket. But Lordy, why couldn't be apart of the jumping for Joy group ???


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 7:54 am 
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Morning. One day, just haug in there. Sounds like this is going to take some time in your case. It'll get better. My good friend in recovery was taking 65 mgs of methidone when he started suboxone. He was good after the 2nd week an great at the 3nd week. He was on 12 mgs when he started,but went up to16mgs.


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 4:21 pm 
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Thnxx Razor, et;al. Don't get me wrong this beat those demonic Methadone withdrawals any day of the week. My Doctor prescribed 16mg/daily and it seems to do the job of keeping the gorilla in the box. I suppose this is the hardest issue of sobriety, when you are not feeling OK/good then you are temped to go back to taking. Don't worry about me doing that, No-Way in Hell will I ever take any Methadone, and for the future I am going to be drug-free sooner rather than later. Only time will tell about my back injury and pain, but right now I am not worried about. Just concentrating on making it thru the Suboxone Therapy treatment, that's the only thing that matters right now in my life.
Although I have come out of this with some Definite thoughts about Pain medication. Like do NOT Ever get involved with a Pain Doctor that you dont think you can absolutely Trust to have YOUR Best Interest at heart. Do NOT let the Pain Drugs RULE your life, if they do then you are eventually headed for a downfall, it might happen in a years time or 5 years time but it will happen sooner or later. And when you do find yourself in trouble...INFORMATION is KING. I searched and searched for help of some sort to help me get off of this Prescribed Methadone. I finally thru a Druggie heard about Suboxone. I heard the word Suboxone and not 5 days later I was taking, that was How Bad I wanted Help for this problem of mine. And lastly the USA should ban Methadone, there are many many other drugs out there that will have the same effect that methadone does. I realize that y Opinion is just that "my opinion" based only on my experience with Methadone, which was a bad one as you can tell...lol...But I see all these Methadone clinics all around the USA, and all they do is get people hooked and then strung out on Methadone. I suppose Methadone is better than Heroin, but by how much ? All these clinics do is keep giving people more and more Methadone, you never hear of these clinics actually lowering people doses to get them off of it. Why, because these Methadone clinics are a business and they are essentially concerned mainly about the PROFIT margin. The longer they keep people on their product the more they make, and around here these clinics charge on average of $13/daily dose. I was with a Pain Doctor and allot of good he did me. I kept telling him I wanted off of Methadone but he said that was his decision not mine. Well; that was my HUGE mistake, not going somewhere else to another Doctor, but I do Not have Health Insurance but have the ability to pay. There are NO Pain Doctors in my area that in fact do take Patients that "self Pay" Oh Kay...My state allows the Methadone clinics to Legally serve up Opiates, but my state does not have any laws forbidding Doctors to pick and choose which economic class of people they want to treat. SHAMEFUL !
Once I get my butt back in shape and in control then I am selling my house and MOVING away from this sorry ass state. And also away from these bad memories and start fresh anew somewhere I am in control and I can pick and choose for once ....lol.....


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PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 11:52 pm 
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Today has Not been a good day. I woke up to feeling very groggy, and Stiff too. I did cut my grass and have a fairly large sized yard so it was a decent amount of physical activity. Right now late in the evening I am so stiff and hurting all over. I am very worried about this feeling. I was on Methadone for Pain Management, previously I was on Norco 6x10mg/day and did great with that until the stupid Doctor I found that would see me without Health Insurance dropped a bombshell and put me on Methadone. Anyway back to today, I am hurting in my lower back area where I always used to have pain, I had L4-L5 Fused together in 2003. I did ok on my pain meds but am I just making too much of this, or is my back pain coming back since I am slowly getting off the Methadone???

Is this body aches and low back Pain apart of the getting off opiates phaze of my early treatment??? This has got me worried as the previous days I was not hurting this badly like I am today. I am not making this up either as I have to walk sideways down the steeps at y house...Oh Lordy I knew that this was going to Not be cut and dry for me, nothing ever is easy !


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 12:14 am 
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I've been reading about your journey so far. I don't really have information to add, but I do want to let you know that I'm pulling for you. I hope your good days are more frequent and that your bad days cease. I know it's frustrating when things don't improve as quickly as you think they should. You are still at the beginning of your sub journey, so trust that things will get better! I hope that you feel well enough to work soon.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 2:22 am 
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Thnxx so much Amy and Others. I have learned so much from the forums, and also gotten allot of helpful information and advice too. It warms my heart to know that total strangers can care more than one's own actual family can. Sad but true, my main problem is that here I sit all day long. I try my best to get Outside and do a few things but it is so very hard. Most days I feel like crap maybe 40% some days 60%. I just yearn for Better days, hopefully ahead. I know it will Not happen overnight for me, but OMG to read and see of those that it did work a miracle on and overnight they were fixed of their pain and suffering from Withdrawals. This is what I get for letting that Pain Doctor of mine talk me into taking Methadone. There is no more insidious drug then methadone. I do not see any good in that drug at all. Look at how it turned Hitler into a no-body into one of the world's worst Villains. I curse the day and that Doctor that Prescribed me that insidious drug named Methadone. As I learn more and more each day from this forums and others, and research on the internet. I see how the USA has Legalized Drug Addiction thru these Methadone clinics. OMG; just think in 10-20 years when all these Methadone Addicts are turned loose on society what might happen. We can't keep allowing these clinics to prescribe more and more Methadone to these people, from what I know hardly anyone ever gets off the Methadone these clinics prescribe it to. That my friends is a very scary proposition. If you have Not gone thru Methadone withdrawals then you can Not even begin to imagine what desperation you are put thru trying to detox off of Methadone. My Longest stint was a little over 2 weeks from 60mg/day to Nothing in one day..Bamm..nothing. Was I proud of myself to be able to endure that pain and suffering. I was all set to get myself off of that crap. You read where most experts say after 5 days the Methadone withdrawals get better...HA !!...it in fact get's WORSE. After a week you have not slept in 7 days your body begins to act in ways that you have never seen it act. It begins shutting down. And by some faith or whatever you want to call it, you think it is going to get better if I just hang in there. NOPE it keeps getting worse, I went one withdrawals period from not sleeping for 18 days straight, yes 18 days not 1 minute of sleep or rest. Just try to go 2 days without sleep and you are a Very healthy person, your mind and body starts to shut down, now think that you are drugged up on foreign chemicals, you are not in good health to begin with, you havent eaten because you have had diarrhea for 2 solid weeks. OMG then you might can start to imagine what sort of toll it takes on your body.

I know I am rambling but if just 1 person sees this thread of mine and it changes their mind of starting Methadone then I have done my job and can rest in peace.

I really NEED this Suboxone to work, the last 2 years of my life have been total Hell. I went from making great Money to almost penniless, to owning a fantastic super fast sports car to now I am hopelessly trying to adjust to what I have now which is nothing to drive myself around in. No car that is running, I have to get rides from friends and family. I could outwork an oxen and now I am 90lbs overweight and do not have even close to the amount of strength that I once had, even when I was on Norcos for 8 years. I held down a fantastic job, very physical, very demanding where if I lost my attention I could cut an arm or worse off in an instant. I took trips almost every weekend, I had girlfriends asking me to Marry them. I am a hollow shell of my former self, and it is all because of Methadone !

Please if there is a God upstairs, help me get my shit together, not just for myself so that in the future I might could help others with their struggles. I have always been very empathetic, and have been especially drawn to people that have chronic pain issues or addiction to medication issues. My Mother whom is an RN for 60+ years has absolutely 00.00 % compassion for either of those 2 groups of people. In her words they should just take an "Aspirin" no one needs to be on pain medication, no one especially not me. Even though I have this Titanium in my back and a scar that is about 12 inches long to go with it. Just take an "Aspirin", " I have Pain too, I know what Pain is like, no one needs Pain medication" ...OMG she is so mean to not just me but to anyone that does not conform to her ideas of what life is. I know one day I will get through this, not because of her or anyone else. Although there have been countless people that have helped me, but if I make it to a better Me then it will be of my own doing. I will be stronger for it, just like I was after my car wreck that precipitated all this way back in 2002. I lost everything that I had, had serious back surgery, was down to just about $60.00 to my name, no car, no friends, and a family that helped only when I begged them to. in the 8years that followed, I worked my ass off bought 2 brand new cars, one of those is a ridiculous toy of a car that scares anyone that gets in it, and I also bought a New House and paid for it and a 1,000 sq/ft shop with everything inside that shop fully paid for. I have done it before and I will do it again, and all in all those that helped me were Total Strangers that had Nothing to gain by helping me. What a Great World we Live in, when I think of all the world's problem I am always drawn back to my belief and knowledge that total strangers have been and are still willing to help me or anyone else that is in need. What keeps the Human race from totally destroying itself is the fact that We as Humans are at our Best when we are at our Worst !

....Sorry For Rambling on and on..I am just so worried and alone and in need of a comforting word....many Thnxx and Much Love goes out to you all...OneDayataTime


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:09 am 
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Your post just brings me to tears because I hear the desperation in your voice. I'm so sorry that methadone was a terrible drug for you. I do know of people it really helped, but I know there are problems with the drug, some doctors who prescribe it, and the way it is dispensed. I wish my magic wand could turn back time to make suboxone the medication your doctor suggested. I do think it is superior to methadone in many ways, but that is just an opinion.

Please don't feel like you're alone. I know it would be much more fulfilling to have members of your family who are there for you, and I know you appreciate us strangers, but I also believe that there is a God that cares about each and every one of us. I'm not someone who believes that God makes all things happen the way they happen. But I do believe that God cares about you. You have inherent worth, and that cannot be affected by your circumstances. Your worth is also not defined by your money, cars, etc. Someday, you are going to have plenty of people in your life who recognize your worth. You won't have to fight for it.

I know this road is hard. Depression often goes hand in hand with opiate addiction. If it helps, make little goals for yourself everyday. If it's been hard for you to go out, have a goal to drive to a park and sit on a bench that day. Or go improve your mind by going to a library and reading. There are many success stories out there about people who have made it back from terrible life circumstances. Find positive people to be around. If AA and the like aren't your cup of tea, find a hiking group or a photography group. There are groups for all sorts of interests out there. Even though I have been doing pretty well on sub, it's still hard for me to get out there with other people. I have to work on that all the time. Then I end up being surprised out how much pleasure I've taken from the experience. Our addict brains want us to think that only our DOC will bring us pleasure. You have to convince yourself of the opposite by experiencing it.

This too shall pass. Hang on.

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 3:35 am 
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Hey one day!

It’s heartbreaking to read your story, especially to learn that you have no support from your mother. That surely must hurt.

But I think you are on to something about the strength you are exhibiting by trying to break your addiction by yourself. Of course, it is far preferable to have close friends and family to help, to be able to get a hug, to have someone you can cry with and bare your soul to. That’s just part of being human. I get the loneliness that you are feeling. Because of my circumstances, I have virtually no support from family, and only sporadic telephone support from an old and dear (but very busy) friend. So I’m struggling on my own, much as you seem to be doing.

It doesn’t work for everyone, but have you tried joining/attending a church? Talking to a pastor? If not, can you afford to see a psychotherapist every once in a while? My therapist is a Godsend, can be very tough on me when the addict rationalization bullshit spews forth, but is ALWAYS compassionate and I know my therapist “has my back” 100% of the way. It’s a very comforting feeling to be able to bawl like a baby and not be fearful of being judged. Do you have a female friend whom you trust 100% to be compassionate yet honest with you? It could be a male friend too, but speaking for myself as a hetero man, I know I’d prefer the compassionate touch of a female, even in a platonic way. The human touch can be so healing, man. I wish I had access to it, but the only truly loving hugs I can get right now are from my young son. I may be an addict who has done some awful things to himself with his addiction, but my son loves me regardless. It’s hard not to cry when he hugs me and tells me he loves me, but man it is so healing and empowering. He reminds me why I’m doing all of this, and makes it all worth it. So when I’m terribly weak and not willing to exercise the self-respect and esteem to stop abusing my DOC, when I think of my son, that’s all the motivation I need.

Hang in there, my friend. This forum and the people on it have also been Godsends, and I can’t thank everyone here and Dr. Junig enough for all the support I’ve received. You know all the good things you’ve accomplished in the past and sound like you can envision yourself doing them again. Great! That too can be very empowering.

SI


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 1:41 am 
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Thnxx "Amy"......just to update on my situation. Here it is Day 12 early am. I am sleeping ok with 3mg of Melatonin every night. I did drop my Suboxone dose down to 12mg yesterday, today and tomorrow. I go back to the Doctor on Wednesday. My Thinking was that I have yet to feel ok really, I might need more, but I wanted to rule out taking less as the problem of why I was not feeling better. That and the first 2-3 films I took I screwed up taking them so I was running a bit low. Maybe I should be taking 24mg, or slightly more than the 16mg my Doctor has prescribed. I have yet to feel ok really. yes I am way better than the Methadone withdrawals I was having before I started the Suboxone almost 2 weeks ago. I had a few days maybe 3 out of these 12 days that I felt like I was headed in the right direction, but then ever so slowly each day after those days I went down hill. So one day I took 24mg but didnt feel better, then I learned that Suboxone has a half life of 37hours. So that was when I decided that right before I go to my next Doctor appt. that i was going to take he 12mg to rule out the reason I wasnt feeling ok was that i was taking too much. It kills me tio readon the forum where some people that started taking Suboxone instantly felt 100%better and they went right back into carrying on with their lives. that didn't happen tome, it has been a struggle with me to feel just OK, not good mind you but just OK.I know I am bitching, sounding like a whiny bitch. I am sorry as I do feel way better than I di 3 weeks ago. I am not going to stop the Suboxone and am in this for the long haul as I am getting off the pill train. I never had a mental need for the medication, but my lower back pain drove my physical need for them. If I can somehow manage the pain then I am going to at least try it that way for a while. I am stopping my pain med use right here and right now. But Lordy help me to feel better. I can't keep not working, I am running out of money, and this Suboxone treatment is far from cheap. I do have the monthly coupon for half off, which is awesome thnxx Amber/et;al for showing me that. And I am going to ask my Doctor about his Patient assistance program to see if he can get me on it on Wednesday. next Wednesday May 30th I will be 51 yrs old. I have had an awesome life, only in the last 2 years did I go downhill fast. but before that I had almost everything that I wanted, surely had all I needed. Now here I sit, thinking back to all that i lost in these past 2 years. I know I can get it back, but the impatient person that I am wants to get on with it and right now. I just want to feel OK so I can get back to work and start making a living again. I have tried to get out and do stuff, I cut my grass but was totally spent afterwards, and had to lay down after cutting the grass. Come on I want my life back. Hopefully a slight increase will turn the tables to where I can start to feel OK, and maybe even actually Good for a change. I can easily understand why some people go back to their DOC. I a not going to do that no way no how, but it is easy to understand how it happens. People just want to feel OK, and then like me they read on the forums where someone took Suboxone and was jumping for Joy, kinda makes you wonder and honestly jealous too....thnxx for letting me whine


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PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 5:38 am 
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You have to remember that the people who felt instantly better were not switching from methadone! When I went on sub, I had not taken percocet in the last 48 hours. As you probably know, percocet has an extremely short half-life! It was out of my system almost completely when I took my first dose of sub.

The detox process off methadone is much longer and much, much harder than short acting opiates. You have to give yourself a break, and look at how far you've come instead of how much farther you have to go. Can you imagine having to start over at the beginning? You NEVER have to go through that again! It will only get better from here. You are wise to check with your doctor about your dosage. I hope that he has previous experience with people going from methadone to suboxone.

I know you don't feel that you can start your work again, but can you stand to go out and volunteer your time for a little while a few days a week? Find a homeless shelter or soup kitchen in your area. It might help to be around people who have lost even more than you have. Find a way to dwell on your blessings, instead of your losses. Self-pity is good for about 3 days, tops! After that, it will only drag you down and sap your mental energy. There are people out there with worse circumstances than yours who manage to stay grateful and cheerful. If you need a lift, Google "heartwarming stories". There are a lot of them out there.

I'm glad that you're determined not to give up. You obviously have strength to your character and a will to succeed. I can't wait to hear your success stories as you move ahead with your life. :)

Amy

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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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