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PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:02 pm 
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You know, I was thinking the other day about the many ways that my addiction has changed me. I got to thinking that in a strange way I am now a better person, despite having lost my health, money and many friends. I am now a lot more tolerant of other people, no longer reacting in a knee-jerk fashion to things they may say or do. Having a habit has also taught me the value of patience ( anyone who has stood in the freezing cold for hours waiting for the man will know what I mean). I am also no longer as naieve and trusting as I once was. Some of the things I have seen and done have also left their mark and I would like to tell a couple of little stories in evidence of that.
One thing that really horrified me was watching a friend trying to fix one day. All the veins in his arms and legs had retreated, so he was now injecting into his groin (shudder). One afternoon he was in such a terrible state that he missed the site and ended up injecting into his BLADDER. He ended up with septacaemia which in his debilitated state almost finished him off.
The same guy also would inject almost anything just for the sake of it. On one occasion he tried whiskey, which was a big mistake. He was unconscious within seconds, and it took several minutes of slapping and rubbing to bring him round.
Another very good friend of 25 years standing died after drinking THREE 3 liter bottles of strong white cider (7.5% ABV) and then jacking up. In his paralytic state he severely misjudged the dose, and ended up killing not only himself, but the young guy who was sharing his flat and gear. They were both found 5 days later, on the 2nd of January 2005. The heating in the apartment was full on, so you can imagine the state of decomposition was pretty advanced by the time they were discovered.
One morning about three years ago, I pulled up outside a dealer's house. There was another car parked a little way down the street with a Polish guy inside who I had met once or twice before. He had just handed the cash to the man, and was waiting for the gear to be brought out to him. As we sat there chatting and waiting, the police arrived in force, blasted down the door with the Enforcer portable ram and entered the premises. Within 10 minutes all the occupants were led out in cuffs, followed by cops carrying evidence bags. Oh well, I thought, better try elsewhere. I turned to say later to the Polish chap, and noticed that he was weeping. I said hey, no problem man, I can front you a bag until you can get sorted . That was when he told me that he had a 13 bag a day habit, and the dealer had just taken a weeks gear money from him 5 minutes before the bust went down. I would have cried too.
I got into cocaine for a short time. I had always limited my coke use to a gram every Christmas, and never touched it the rest of the year. This was my only experience of it for several years, until I joined a Data and Logistics company as a librarian. One of the guys working there had a pretty solid source, and several people were scoring from him on a regular basis. I started getting a gram every weekend at first, but before long it turned into a gram every day. Soon even that wasn't enough, and I was buying 1/8 oz daily (about 3.5 g). It got to the stage where I took out a £12,000 bank loan and stuck the whole lot up my nose within the space of 3 months. That works out to something like $22,000 US. IN THREE MONTHS!!!!! This was my wakeup call, and I quit immediately, which I didn't find hard at all surprisingly.
I can think of many more strange occurrences during my lifelong obsession with mind altering substances, but perhaps it's time to let the past lie for a bit. Although many of these things were very bad, I have tried to take away something positive from each of them, even if it is only a lesson learned.
Does anyone else feel that they gained something good from a bad experience? I would love to hear your stories.


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 11:32 pm 
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Wow....The other day at a an AA meeting I was talking to a former Herion Addict. She said her husband had pretty much blown all his viens and was injecting in his penis.....arrrrrrgggg. She said thier dealer got busted and they found a new one and the guy told him in order for him to sell to him he had to inject in front of him........what did he do...he pulled out his penis and injected....She is seperated from him now..but that guy(the dealer) is clearly convinced that he is an herion user....This is one terrible disease......


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 12:51 am 
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It's astonishing the depths we sink to in the throes of this awful affliction. And yet, the human body and psyche is still frequently strong enough to recover. What an amazing thing life is! All we need to do is begin living it again.


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