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Was The "High Cost" Of Treatment AN Issue For You To Decide To Seek Treatment?
Yes...The cost was higher than what I could fit in my "New Budget," and I had to wait for "Help" from friends/family to donate. 33%  33%  [ 2 ]
No... When I said I was ready for treatment I was able to get the money easily. 67%  67%  [ 4 ]
Total votes : 6
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 Post subject: My Name Is Christy
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 5:23 am 
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Day 3 Sub Treatment
2-8mg Sub Strips
Columbus, Ohio USA

My name is Christy. I have been a "General Addict" for ten years. I experimented with Ecstasy & cocaine (along with everything else but those were my favorites) for the early part of my adult life (19-26). I got clean no problem with my pregnancies which occurred 10 months apart...as in two babies 10 months apart. Now, after the kids I got my tubes tied and high tailed it to the Dr. to discuss my "Pain In my Back." I was aware of the potential of addiction but I never realized how quick it would be. In 8 months I went from Pain Clinic to Calling every shady character I had ever met until I found someone who had a supply. After finding the connection I began working harder than I had ever worked before. Started my own Company and was very successful. Everyone loved me and I had such energy! I WAS ALWAYS HAPPY! Well that is until I ran out. My addiction continued on a minor level at $50 a day for 5 month (We're now at 1 year 2 months from the legal prescription after the first 8 I was "Cured." Funny though cause I told the Pain Dr. "Hey I think I'm going to need some help! Any Ideas...." She relied: "This is your last script...Make it last! It was gone in 4 days.) So now lets flash to 2.5 years after initial visit: I spend on average 200-400+ a day (which 200 is 25 P 10's My Dose was 6 every 2-3 hours) So I maintained this level of addiction for awhile. Now all the bills were paid and there was money left over but man...I was miserable. I knew because of my addiction I was now staying away from home because I said work "Consumed Me" and I needed to be alone..." BS... I just wanted to get super high and sit in my office. Which I stopped renting a year ago and just rented a Suite at a Hotel so I could lay down when I got to high...

How sad that I spent all that money to stay away from my kids, husband & myself. When I would say "I'm not like those "Junkies Shooting Up" What I really meant to say is: "Where as those "Junkies" have needle marks and tracks on their body...I have tracks on my soul. They can never be faded nor can they be removed...I shot my soul up and I cant get back these past 2 years.

I made a decision two weeks ago to get clean. I thought I could do it by myself...Day 2 I relapsed...(I won't mention what I thought could "Trump" opiates for those days...because it didn't MISERABLE FAILURE). On Day 3 after I sent a million text to one person who had Sub Strips he responded and showed up at my suite. I was sick and he helped me. For the Next 2 day he showed up with Subs in the morning. He wanted to make sure I wasn't faking...Tears and puke don't lie (Other Things Too...egh). When I got the first dose (2 8mg Subs Strips) IT WAS LIKE THE HOLY GRAIL OF ALL WITHDRAW SOLUTIONS! I was alive and happy & motivated! I actually worked out & exercised. I made an appointment with his Dr and got in in only 4 Days. The money wasn't an issue but the fear was. Now I had been good so far and my friend gave me 4 strips to make it to the day before. I assumed I would need to test positive so I gave myself the day before to use. GOD IT FREAKING SUCKED!!! I felt a consistent ,low euphoria when on the subs but the opiates made me almost BI POLAR! That’s exactly what Opiates do...SUPER HIGH...SUPER PISSED....SUPER HIGH...PASSED OUT... I made it to the Dr. in my 19th hour of withdraw and sure enough I was qualified... I was honest and she treated me with respect. No yelling and No judgment. The pharmacist was great at CVS and man that was the happiest script I HAVE EVER FILLED. Please don't look at Subs as a DRUG WITH POTENTIAL TO ABUSE.... It's a TOOL FOR YOU TO USE! Seriously it may have its down side but the Withdraw from Cold Turkey is to much for me and the Stigma I receive when reading on Methadone is un acceptable. Without help and support I will fail. I hope to find stories of success. I like my Dr Because he has integrated 3 Major Programs and combine them together. Over the Year (for sure) I will have access to Medication, Counseling, Private Patient Meetings Kind of like NA & Acupuncture. I know some of the items will cost more but hey as long as its under $400 a Day I'm good:) Seriously if I could do that much money in oxy-codone then I can sure as heck pay for my treatment. (Total First Month Appx $775 Second Month Goes Down was I’m In Maintenance and Only require 1 Visit Per Month. (Although I will seek more counseling which will cost more…Its worth it) Okay people! I’m Christy and I’m ready to re-learn my life.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 8:23 am 
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Hi Christy and welcome to the forum. Thanks for sharing your story with us! And a huge congratulations to you for grabbing the wheel and taking control of your life- i.e. - getting into a sub doc and starting your addiction treatment. And I'm thrilled that it's working well for you. You sound like you have the right attitude - you know sub isn't a cure all on its own, that it's a tool for us to use while we get our shit together. I wish you the best in your treatment. I hope you stick around the forum and keep posting. :)

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-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 9:24 am 
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Hi Christy, welcome to the forum!

Wow, what a story! I'm glad you decided to start Suboxone and I'm glad it's working for you.

You said, "I have tracks on my soul. They can never be faded nor can they be removed...I shot my soul up and I cant get back these past 2 years." That reminds me of something I've been saying for a while, during my addiction I didn't really lose any material things, what I lost was much greater, I lost me. While you may not be able to get those 2 years back, you certainly don't have to waste anymore years on drugs and those tracks on your soul will fade over time. Slowly, I've been finding myself again, I'm learning how to forgive myself for the terrible things I did and you will eventually learn how to forgive yourself too. Remember, we're not bad people, we're sick people....getting better!!

I'm glad to hear you're gonna have some support via Counseling and Private Patient Meetings. That'll help you so much on your road to recovery.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:14 am 
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Dear Romeo & Hatmaker,

My goal this week: LEARN HOW TO SPELL SUBOXONE.

Okay so I'm glad to hear that there are other people who financially were secure but still thought it was wrong what they were doing. I realized yesterday that I had been High for 2.5 years when I originally though it was like only 1.5 years. At this point I came to the realization that Addiction places a veil over your life and everything will be sped up...That was another big thing about the first week with Subs...I was able to witness my life in an ACCURATE TIME DISPLAY because on the day before I went to the Dr I "Used" (To Test +, and lets be honest... I used because I'm an addict & I wanted to see if I was ready...) (I am!) I am so thankful for my realization that I CAN NOT DO THIS ON MY OWN


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:35 am 
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Addiction does place a veil over your life, addiction is the only disease I know of that will tell you that you don't have it!!

I agree that we can't do this on our own either. Left to our own devices, our addict brain will eventually convince us to use again, this is where my support group comes in. My support group knows me so well that they can spot changes in my thinking and my behavior long before I can and they'll call me on that crap in a minute.

You have already discovered 2 major components of addiction and that's great.....it took me a good while to figure those 2 components out. Yeah, I'm just slow sometimes!! :lol: Closer to the truth would be to say that I'm wicked stubborn!! :D

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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 Post subject: Welcome :-)
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:55 am 
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Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 9:55 am
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Hello, Christy, ans welcome to this forum!

I voted "No" in your poll...

-ex-


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Last edited by exorphin on Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 12:08 pm 
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Oh, and BTW, I didn't vote in your poll as the choices given don't apply to me. Just FYI.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 6:23 pm 
Congratulations and hope you are able to stick with this. I have spent over 40K in hospital and residential treatment in the last year for pain management and drug dependance. I was basically told to stay on narcotics due to my medical problems. Not gonna happen..... Due to tolerance and interdose withdrawal, I decided to use a medical detox at home. I cannot function on narcotics any longer.

I have a physician who comes to my home, did the induction at home and saw me here twice a week for one month. I talk with him 3x a week and he is available 24/7. This is great for me, as I live alone. I will speak with him twice a week for 6 months. He prescribes the comfort meds and moniters them and reports to my PCP. I am aware of the benzo piece as 2 years ago, I went through the mother of all benzo withdrawal symptoms!!

I went from OxyContin to suboxone 8mg reducing every 4th day ie: 8, 6, 4, 2, 1, .5, .25, .125. I was given clonidine to use for anxiety, cramps, sweats, palpitations. I was given valium to use as well as trazedone. I was instructed to use them as needed the first 3 days during the stabalization and use them as needed at the end when the suboxone is finito.

So far, other than some laziness, muscle aches and some anxiety, I have been symptom free. I have therapy lined up as you do and have a ton of work to do to see if I can be functional despite my medical problems. The biggest problem is relapse.

There are many here who can help and advise you. Tons of experience here. View the threads and watch Dr Junigs videos and read his articles if you have time, absolutely invaluable information.

Good lucky Christy, I will look forward to following your progress!!!



Robin


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