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PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 10:18 am 
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I posted about this a while ago and for a brief period I thought this was getting better. Idk I kinda give up because why would I pay a doctor to feel the way I did at the last appointment I had with someone other than my sub doc who I kinda felt saw me as a junkie. My sub doc put me on flexeril for sleep and so I'd stop grinding my teeth at night (my molars have molded into these cuppings now where the edges are raised from bruxism) and for a bit it seemed I was more calmed down during the day. Anyway it's been 2 months that it's been bad again and I started going bak to therapy on an appt by appt basis, since committing to an every week kinda thing isn't compatible with my energy levels after work throughout the week and it's a huge hassle getting up there that it kinda creates another situation that doesn't really bother other ppl but to me seems hugely overwhelming. A lot of stuffs happened lately, I went back home to my moms for a few weeks since our pipes burst and huge leaks broke out all over the house and there wasn't enough room for all of us to sleep in the living room so my bf had me go back there. Now that our bedroom is repaired and livable again I've been back for like a week. I had to have such an extended stay with my mom cuz she had spinal surgery and I'd originally planned to come home for a bit to help out taking care of the dogs and caring for her anyway. Being here at my bfs house is difficult cuz of his parents, who are narcissistic messes who scream and fight a lot which I have a really low tolerance for and they're not gonna change, their kids have been dealing with it their whole lives through every time they got divorced and remarried, I believe I mentioned some stuff about them and that trigger in my last post. Anyway, I thought it would be better over at my moms and in some ways it is, but I quickly realized that the feeling of being anxious and overwhelmed doesn't change just because the environment changes, the fight or flight response is still active much of the time (according to the therapist). I welcome advice but I don't expect it, just kinda needed to vent. Hope everyone's having a good day


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PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 12:46 pm 
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When I got off Suboxone, I had anxiety through the roof. My options were to try a Benzo (valium, Xanax), but there was no way I was going that route because of my addiction history. Another option was to try some antidepressants. I tried Wellbutrin, then Celexa, but neither of those worked. A few people on this forum had recommended I try meditation. I, of course, laughed about as hard as I could and thought, "meditation, yeah right." Then I tried it and damned if it didn't work like a charm.

I'm not talking about sitting in a darkened room with your legs crossed chanting Oooom, Oooom. I'm talking about simple techniques like being mindful of your breathing. Closing your eyes for a few seconds and bringing your mind to a calm place. At first, it took me 2 or 3 minutes to perform those tasks, but with practice, I can now do it in a matter of seconds. Try it, ya got nothing to lose. :)

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 6:44 pm 
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Oh god, damned if my life wouldn't be easier if I were successful with meditation. I've practiced meditation, I used to do it every night and then more when I started yoga. But yoga became more of a workout/physical therapy and after a long time of trying I had to accept that I just wasn't very compatible with the nature of meditation. And I think it speaks to my addict personality and my impatience because my mind has always driven me more towards stimulation, instant gratification that a lot of addicts gravitate towards and that makes it really difficult to sort of sit there and try not to think, to have any extensive focus on images accompanied by the simulated sensation of an overall "wholeness" or cleansing by the white light/orbs. I'm a very spiritual person, always been a person with a lot if faith in the other places in our minds and the capabilities, sensitivities that come with that; I always wanted to think of myself as a person who not only practiced meditation but achieved something through it. So believe me, it's not like I ever tried it with a negative attitude persay. My therapist practices meditation and energy healing through the chakras and the problem with therapy now is that this is the same one I had before for a couple years, and it just sorta feels like exploring the same options all over again, but at least it's someone who can acknowledge that it's a problem. My bf is patient and I don't mean to make him out to be an asshole, but with him and a lot of people, sometimes my mom as well, as compassionate as he and others try to be about it sometimes it seems like with them it's just a matter of "stop worrying". Psssshh yea. I'll do that.
I was on Wellbutrin a long time ago and it gave me panic attacks. I've been on low dose Xanax for short periods of time before and it was never a problem nor did it feel unsafe, but Wellbutrin has a dopamine increasing effect that can make you feel good like a stimulant, which is something that I have abused before (adderal), so that med was never a great idea to begin with. I just wish they'd create more anxiety meds outside of anti depressants that allow you to spot-treat it the way you can with Xanax. So that for people whose doctors are unwilling to prescribe a benzodiazepine, people who have been addicted to benzos or people who choose not to take them to avoid risk, can have a medical option that doesn't involve altering your entire brain chemistry in a less temporary way like with ssri's that build up in your system.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:16 am 
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I stopped benzos about 6 months ago after 6 years.I don't know if it was benzos causing so much tiredness or if it was smoking related but when I stop smoking I feel and sleep better and there is a lot of truth about not smoking with anxiety.
I have spiritual beliefs,why I only use them when I use all other ways and I'm at my end but they do work and I still have a very hard time believing.
Deep breathing I used to think what a joke,but each time my chest starts hurting or I get a panic attack I start holding my breath.Deep breathing works it can become 2nd nature like riding a bike.

I practiced for days and soon I could do it while I slept.Not only deep breathing but the thoughts in mind that keep me calm.
For two-months I slept and felt better than I had in years using the method above,then I thought it can't be this or that so I went back to the old way until last night I got desparate and it worked again.


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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