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 Post subject: 16 months off subs
PostPosted: Sun Jul 05, 2015 7:58 pm 
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It's been a long, rewarding road. When I began suboxone, i was 'safe' from relapse. I started suboxone because I knew I would die on pills. The suboxone for me worked for about 4 years, and after 4 years I knew I had to give a shot at being off of everything.

I can honestly say I'm 100% recovered from the withdrawal side effects. I jumped from 4mg, I was a mess for close to 6 months before I started getting my feet back, and the pep in my step slowly came back. Right now, at sixteen months, I'm drug free. I work full time, just bought a new car. Everyone I knew before I cut ties with. One thing I can tell you that is a constant reminder is hearing of friends that passed from overdose.

The one only reason I'm sober, and came off of pills all together is because I learned how to meditate

March 27 2014

Xanax: 2.5 mg per day

Subutex: 4mg per day

Klonopin: 2mg per day

Conditions: social anxiety disorder, generalized anxiety disorder; post traumatic stress disorder, panic attacks, negative self image etc

march 28 2014

Cold turkey from suboxone, began Xanax taper and cold turkey the klonopin

Sometime during the night I held my breath hoping I would pass out. But I figured something out. I took a super deep breath and held it for maybe thirty seconds, then I exhaled and when I exhaled everything that was eating me and keeping me awake and all of the feelings and thoughts and emotions I've had my whole life instantly vanished and with that came A huge, huge sense of freedom. I focused on my breathing for the next fifteen minutes . My mind was silent for the first time since I was a little kid. I felt a slight vibration in my body, and I woke up crying, and filled with hope

What I found that night was meditation. It all became clear to me in that instant, after I exhaled; that I was in control of how I felt. If I just meditate once a day, and I clear my mind for those fifteen minutes every night and/or morning, then all of my social anxiety is gone. My negative thinking patterns are gone. I'm that asshole that's always smiling now, the one you hate because your pissed he's so happy! That's me now

Since I found meditation, I found myself. I no longer have a reason to use


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 Post subject: Re: 16 months off subs
PostPosted: Mon Jul 06, 2015 2:42 am 
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Congratulations! It's wonderful that you found something that works for you, even though you practically had to pass out to find it! :) Meditation is an awesome practice with all kinds of benefits. So many members here talk about the difficulty in shutting off their brains. Meditation can definitely help with that, folks. Take it from DarktoLight. It may help you during taper and withdrawal. It's certainly worth a try!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 16 months off subs
PostPosted: Thu Jul 09, 2015 12:51 am 
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I was on a journey to the end of the earth to find that drug that would make me 'right' . I was in foster care, developed negative thinking patterns. Also, I was completely obsessed with myself. I had a huge ego, I felt like I deserved respect from everyone. Now I have perspective, because I can see beyond what's on my mind. I'm aware now of my thinking, and that's where it changes. Mindfulness

Mindfulness
"a mental state achieved by focusing one's awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one's feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique."


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 Post subject: Re: 16 months off subs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 12:45 am 
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Your attitude is awesome and it has led to wonderful things for you!

Amy

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 Post subject: Re: 16 months off subs
PostPosted: Fri Jul 10, 2015 8:36 am 
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I agree with Amy, your attitude is wonderful! After reading how meditation has worked for you I am going to try using meditation again.

Thanks for posting


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Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

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