Tue Oct 28, 2014 8:56 pm
Hey hope, congrats on 8 months. That's an accomplishment. I'm sorry to hear that after all this time you still feel this way. Does it seem like its gotta better since you jumped? Has the depression and other feelings come further apart since they started? If it is getting easier I'd say that a good sign although I would be very frustrated as well. If its not getting better and it seems to be only getting worse then I don't know, maybe medical advice from a professional would be the best option. I'm not smart in this or many areas here. I just wanted to offer support. And again, congrats on 8 months, you're tough!!
Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:54 pm
I see people who complain of feeling 'empty', lonely, bored, anxious, emotional, unemotional, tired, and excited-- all who never took buprenorphine or other opioids, and all who developed the feelings at some point in life. People appear, to me, to need a 'mission'-- something to drive them forward, something they can fail or win at, something that gives life meaning. Some people turn stopping buprenorphine into a mission-- and when they stop it finally, they find they have no other mission in front of them.
I'll tell you what I tell most people who come to me with similar symptoms... from what I see, and from what I've lived, it is clear that life is difficult--- for everyone. If you are not moving forward, you need something that gives you Peace-- the practice of mindfulness for example, or yoga, or learning the piano, or becoming a great welder at work, or doing service work, or learning to play the stock market. It doesn't have to be 'good', although the good things tend to be safer for happiness' sake than playing the stock market.
I get frustrated when I hear people assume that it was their history of taking buprenorphine that caused some problem. Looking at dozen of people who have stopped over the years, it sure doesn't appear that way to me; the people who just seem to naturally know how to be interested in things do well, and the people who tend to look at thing negatively stay negative. If you truly feel like you have a different personality than you used to have, you might seriously consider that you are depressed--- and a simple SSRI is often not enough to turn depression around. Consider seeing a doc and looking into a powerful combination-- like an SSRI and Abilify, for example. I've seen people get back to a personality that they haven't experienced for years, using that medication combination. And of course talk therapy makes any med therapy work better, and last longer.
I recommend asking yourself, 'what is my mission in life?' Whatever it is, start working to get better at it. If you don't do it now, you'll be doing it at some point in life-- usually around midlife. At least that's when most of my patients start dropping in to see me.....
Fri Oct 31, 2014 5:21 pm
I have a difficult time expressing the way I feel Into words at times. Thank you for the wisdom *DOC. I get goosebumps reading that because I know you must have gone down a similar road at one point. I will correct myself by saying again that suboxone took me out of my active addiction. I'm not sure why, but I almost feel like I became a better person when in treatment. My mind had time to relax, and unwind from the years of pain pills and alcohol. Suboxone isn't the reason I have ups and downs. I have an underlying condition called anxiety, which triggers depression at times. 7 months ago my goal was to be free of suboxone, and live a healthy lifestyle. I did it. Sometimes I forget where I came from. I just need to keep moving forward.
Note; If your coming off suboxone, you have nothing to worry about. Its very tolleravle. I felt good after 3 weeks. The only sx I still have is sneezing.
Sat Nov 01, 2014 2:33 pm
Hi h0pe. I'm sorry you're struggling. Continuing to move forward is a great idea, and sometimes it's hard to figure out what that means to you. Is there anything that you once enjoyed that you can pick back up again? Was there an organization that helped you along your way? Or a person you admire that helps a particular charitable organization? I found that volunteering at a daycare center for the children of addicts really helped me when I was stuck. But find something that suits you!
Like Dr. J says, if you feel like you need some professional help, make sure you seek it out. And also seek out activities (charitable or not) that make you feel positive.
I hope the suggestions help. You've already dealt with some huge difficulties in your life, h0pe. That kind of triumph over hardship builds admirable character. I know you can find a way to move forward and feel good about your life.
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