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 Post subject: 8 months off Opes Today
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 3:44 pm 
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Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:38 pm
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243 days since my last Percocet
226 days since my last 2mg Suboxone

Amazing, after 8 months, I still sneeze a lot more than I used to. That's cool though, I can handle that part. Everything else? Well, my attitude has changed a lot. I am proud, happy, positive, and feeling, well, normal I guess. Normal for me anyway.

I smoke weed. That's what I do. I mean, not in the sense where I just sit around and smoke bowls or joints hour after hour. But I'll say regularly and leave it at that. I don't drink, I don't do anything else, really. And I'd be on anti-depressants if I didn't smoke weed. So, I suppose it's my balancing act. Sometimes, it feels hypocritical to say I'm clean when technically I am not. But I also like to think that being away from opiates for 8 months now today makes some kind of difference in my life. I have to continue to believe that. Because it is very different.

Sometimes I think about painkillers. Sometimes, I think about how great it might feel to do one a gain. But one turns into a hundred when you are an addict like me. And I refuse to give in and go down that road again. I'm thinking pretty clearly, I'm reacting very vividly. I'm dreaming very profusely.

This is where you can be if you stop. The weakness in us that is the first month or so of quitting drugs like ours can be beaten with a lot of strength. And really, that is all it is. Can you deal with the physical pain first? Can you deal with the mental pain second? Because once the first week goes away, it's all mental. And as your brain reverses itself, it becomes easier to say I don't want to, or I won't.

Everyone I read here seems to have trouble getting over the initial jump off point. But, you have to realize that it is a GIVEN that you are going to struggle with it. But, God Damn, once you make it out to the other side, your life just becomes something you can't ever even imagine. And now, 8 months later, I'm happy to say I've graduated to that other side. I know I really really have. And I don't ever want to go back to the way I was.

This can be you. It takes a lot of dedication to quitting, a lot of perseverance. But, mostly, it takes a lot of courage and support. And lastly, it takes honesty. Especially with yourself. Accept that you are an addict, but accept that you are also better than the disease.

I hope you all are coming along or doing well or are getting ready to stop. It can be done. And it won't be easy at first. But as the days go by faster and faster, your routine completely changes, and pills or opiates no longer fit into the plans.

Good luck. Happy Easter and I wish you all love and peace of mind. Make today the day!

CHARLIE

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When you're young, you get all worked up caring about what other people think of you. That's the great thing about getting older - you realize, FUCK IT! It's what you think of yourself.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 4:26 pm 
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seaonasdad wrote:
This can be you.


It is me! :D

Congratulations, Seaonasdad! I look forward to your updates because we're on the same schedule.. I will 8 months off subs/ opiates next thursday. Like you, I am feeling..dare I say.. GOOD! Crazy huh? Thank you for your updates and encouraging words to those who've chosen to stop maintenance. I could have written most of your post above and I appreciate having someone in the same boat.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 8:34 pm 
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Wow guys...really inspiring!

I am actually feeling really good the last couple days too. Just in time for my next taper on Saturday. It's so good to hear experiences like these when I know I am going to be there soon too...God willing.

A huge round of applause for seaonasdad and Tiny!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 9:00 pm 
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I second the applause for Tiny and seaonasdad!!!

Thanks for the update Charlie and for sharing your success with everyone!!

BTW, NO ONE can dictate what is and what is not clean to you. You are the only one who can make that call. You smoke weed regularly and it doesn't ruin your life. I say more power to ya!!

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Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


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