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PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 11:02 pm 
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OK, Ive been putting off talking about this 'situation' for awhile. first of all its embarrasing, second, I was very much hoping it would GO AWAY on its own.....
but its not....
Let me explain......
A lifetime ago, I was very good at being a drug addict. whatever I had to do, I did it. lieing, stealing, whatever....

I went to my induction on april 14th, 2011

By January of 2011, I was ready for help, but wasnt serious. I did try to quit on my own, with NO luck what so ever. I did a bunch of tramadol, and had two siezures, that I can remember.........lol

SO In Febuary,,,, this older lady,,,,, lets call her C ,,,,, well let me explain HER 'dynamic' first

C is in her 60s. She has two sons, middle aged, that look like apes, or gorrilas, and pretty much act that way too. they dont work, one is married, lets call him,,, mk, and the one that lives with his mom (c), hes gonna be called k....
got it??
so C lives with K, and K's brother is married, MK and lives about 5 blocks away, his wife is a cokehead and likes herion as well, together of course. K and MK just like pills. lots and lots of pills. C gives everything she has to MK and K cuz theyre her sons, I cant figure out why else, becuase they both treat her like dogshit. she even goes and cashes her soc security, and buys them the pills they want!!!! Iknow right??

Okay, so In FEBUARY, C calls me, a usual occurance, ans says she knows this 'new guy' she wants to go get pills from cuz MJ is out and sick and blah blah blah. My car was broke down, but I had borrowed my grandmas car for the day. I was a very good manipulator when I was using by the way.....
So C says she'll give me a cuple, if I can give her a ride. I'll have to drive 30 miles each way.......
of course I do it, I mean Im getting dope outta it right??????

So we go on this chore, I have her give me ten bux supposidly for gas, but I wanted cigs, so we stop at this smoke shop kinda by Cs house, and I ran in and bought smokes.

we went on this run, and took her back home........ I actually ended up gettting money from her cuz she was buying methadone, and I didnt want any at the time.......

TWO HOURS later, she calls, and says she got RIPPED OFF. now Im pretty sure this has hapened to every single one of us at least once. I know Ive been ripped of PLENTY of times. she says the pills she got werent methadone.
I say, what do you want ME to do about it/?????
I didnt even go in, I just gave you a RIDE
she says you go up ther and get me my money!!!!!!!!!

Um m m NOPE, sorry bout your luck

her gorrilla son, MK, shows up PIST at my apartment, Im prett sure C told him, she got whatever she got from me, and not her 'new guy' she was sooooo excited about!!!
I tried explaining........to a dopehead, ya right
my nieghbor ended up calling th police, so MK left..........
He then called me NONSTOP for hours and hours. My hubby finally called the cops when he left mesages stated he was going to kill me, then my son.
MK was actually calling when the sheriff showed up. so he got to answe the phonecall of MK screaming death threats to me. I know, perfect.

all was ok, for an ahour.
then the cops from thier town called ME. C apparently said I gave her a ride, and STOLE $200 out of her purse. at first I lied and said I didnt even give her a ride, then C told them abou the camera at the smoke shop.
they came and arrested me.
I said, look at the tape, how could I steal money outta her purse, when I was never in the car, alone with her purse????????????????
they let me go

LONG story short....
MJ still sees me around town, the condos I work on are like 7 blocks from his house, 3 from his mom/brothers place, and 4 from the 'smoke shop'
NO JOKE
everytime this douche sees me, he freaking CHASES me screaming, calling me everything but a white woman.
Im seriuos.
Hes ALWAYS on his bike, he cant drive, and chases my car.
once he even grabbed the roof rack and 'rode along' til I gassed the freaking car.
hes gotta be 6'2'' and 280pds, of raging dope fiend

Ive tried explaining, Ive tried calling the cops, I want to buy some mace, but I dont know how close I gotta let him get before I can use it!!!! I dont want him THAT close!!!

I saw him on my lunch break wednsday. I was like OH NO
stuck in traffic coming outta the store parking lot, he plastered himself to my window and SCREAMED
and I didnt even look at him,,,,, not once. I always ignore him, since talking to him the first few times didnt work......
its been almost a YEAR
next month, it will be ,,,,,,,, how LONG is this guy gonna chase me?????

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 1:52 am 
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Ok I understand your story or so I think. They are upset that they were ripped off that they are blaming you. You say there has been several examples of this clown bothering you or screaming at you. There is at least on incident that I know you said the police were involved in. Have you contacted the police on any of these other run ins with this guy?

You say you don't want to use mace against him.......why? I would do whatever but I think the best route for you is to get a restraining order against this guy. If you have documented evidence of his behavior I would use it to get the order. If not documented I will still get the order so everytime he comes around you can contact the police. Once you get the order carry with you all the time so you can show the police when they respond..........Good Luck

Jim


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:05 am 
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the first time I called the police, they DID say if he showed up at my HOUSE, he'd be arrested for trespassing.

when I was in the town I now work in, where he lives, thats where they arrested me, for soposidly ripping him off. his mom eventually told the cops some bullshit that IM the one that ripped them off for pills, instead of stealing from her purse.
so, the next time I called the cops, THERE,
the cop said
thats what you get for selling drugs, thats the kind of people you deal with in that line of work

When I asked of a restraining order,,,, they said, they are only put in place when
there has been a sexual relationship with a death threat
there's a domestic relationship, like he's my brother/dad/cousin w/ a death threat
OR assualt, like he beats the shit outta me, THEN I can get one

and the mace, Id like too, but I dont want him to HAVE to be three feet from me, before I can what, get the shit outta my glovebox, and spray him??
I dont want him THAT close,,, before I have the SPRAY
I cant keep the spray somewhere my 3 yr old can get it

thought about just giving him money, too. JUST to leave me alone. but I dont wana GIVE this guy $200

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That's TRUE STRENGTH
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:18 am 
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Well Girl, Wow what a mess. And....Well I would like to say 9 months is long enough to deal with our wreckage of the past, but I have found out this crap can go on for a long while. I still find myself dealing with issues from years ago haunting me. But in this case you do have some options and well I suggest maybe you might want to look into them because what if your baby boy is with you and this guy is beating on your window and it scares him to death etc...maybe that has happened but I see you as one that would might be apt to react if something involved your child and then your reaction could possibly make matters worse for you.

You have mentioned several things that show you have a right to have him arrested. Threats etc...But that can be a headache court every month for god knows how long it gets continued by attorneys and such. Have you thought of a civil restraining order? I think there is a filing fee for such but you can waive the cost I believe under the terms you speak of with struggling finances right now. Some states will not give a civil Restraining Order unless criminal charges have been filed and won, but it’s worth checking into. You know I have seen these things get totally out of control. So I can't help but tell you to do something. There could be that one time he is pumped up on pills or such and has a weapon etc and you are out of your car or in a situation where you could not fight back if you had to. Please look into what you can do with your local court house civil court as far as a Restraining Order. What he is really after? The supposed $200.00? The arrest you were involved in what happened there? They just dropped it?

I can relate because I have people still to date two three years later they are still holding me responsible for my behaviors in active drug addiction. I have even tried just saying I was sorry and explaining that I am not that same person and I can't undo the damage. So, I just have to forgive myself and move on. Now your situation is a bit different in the fact you didn't even do what you were accused of nor did you do anything to this crazed man so no apologies are in order and you shouldn't have to deal with this shit, but you are and well I have had things happened just because I was the addict or in the wrong place at the wrong time, and if all else fails and god keeps a hand on things in time it should eventually lose some of the passion involved. 9 Months would seem long enough but eventually it should die down. I hope so Amber.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:13 am 
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It's a tough scenario, that's for sure. I've found myself on the cursing end of a couple of issues since I got cleaned up, and my sobriety will hit it's 4 year anniversary on July 7, 2012. The most recent that I can recall was with a girl that couldn't afford treatment --- let me say this clearly, no relationship or sexual involvement with this girl AT ALL -- but I felt sorry for her. I had known her throughout my active addiction..we had both been buying our pills from the same guy...

I helped her, because my doctor at the time was giving me 90/month, and I would hold myself down to 60/month. I know it wasn't right, and now I won't even THINK about doing such things..but then I was "dumb" and in my 'infancy' as a recovering addict. I believed that she wanted to clean up, and I just knew that I could help.

Everything was fine, until she wanted to let my mom move in with her. My mom had been told to leave this town by the police...like 6 years ago. 3 years ago, this girl was going to allow my mom to move in with her..and I KNEW what my mom was still doing (meth, not to mention SHOOTING UP with Dilaudids)...and I wanted NO part of it. I had it out with my mom on the phone, then the girl I had done SO much for, she calls me up cussing like a sailor. And the whole time I'm thinking to myself "i actually HELPED your sorry ass, and for what?"

Of course, being a guy, I ended it rather abruptly and managed to solve the problem...the girl never came here to my house, and I wanted nothing from her, in a sexual standpoint, and my wife...I was completely open with her about the entire ordeal..helping the girl and then fighting with the girl too...so wife was ready to kick her ass anyway..

It's worth getting the law involved in YOUR scenario though.

I dunno your finances, but I would suggest buying one of those camcorders like the one we've bought for our baby to be born in March. It's completely digital with internal memory storage, and you connect to the computer and upload directly to Facebook or Youtube.

It records in HD 720p...and is relatively cheap to buy one. Ours is the JVC Everio...and works great. Quick recording is done within 3 seconds of picking it up...and it's ready to go all the time. I would say get some video evidence and show the cops. THIS is your BEST alibi.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 7:40 am 
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The Cam-Corder sounds like a really good idea - you could have a look on E-Bay or Amazon for a good second hand one if that keeps the cost down too. Good Luck with it all.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:15 am 
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That's harsh. 1 year later. Stuff just gets so distorted in that world, there's always dramas going on waiting to suck people in. You never know when the bullshit starts and ends really.

Get a big boyfriend to chauffeur you for a couple of weeks. He might lay off if he sees a small chance of a threat in confronting you.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:11 pm 
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Just because the police say a protection order is for domestic violence victims only doesn't make it true! They are cops, not gods! You need to start keeping a journal of each and every contact he makes with you - dates, times, and descriptions of the incidents. That will be what you will bring with you when you apply for a protection order and go before a judge. The judge is the person who will decide whether or not to issue you the PPO. And for what it's worth, as a former domestic violence victim advocate, I believe you most certainly do qualify for a PPO! Is he following you around? Showing up at your home or place of work? If so, that's stalking and that's against the law. And once you have a PPO and he still violates it, then it becomes felony stalking - at least it does in some states. Get the PPO....at least do what you can to get it. That's what I think your next best step is.

Please, in the meantime, be safe. And do start that journal!

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 Post subject: What A Mess
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:21 pm 
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Wow Amber, talk about the wreckage of your past haunting you. Reading that put some really bad thoughts in my head of my old behavior. Not good stuff to think about. You don't want to know what I was thinking!

So now reality. Have you ever spoken evenly to this ape asking just what you can do to rectify the situation? It would probably do no good but I had to ask.

Okay, forget the Mace. Either buy some full strength pepper spray with mace in it. The range is 10 feet. Or even better, a can of wasp killer. Does about the same thing but reaches over 25 feet. Also good to keep close by when you're alone. It keeps the offender from getting too close.

I do like the idea of a big boyfriend who carries a large bat. Call the battered women shelter for advice maybe? Or move.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:26 pm 
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LOL tear!!!!!!

the ONE time I had my husband with me, hes a lil over 6' but no where near the 'mass' of the gorrilla,
I said,
THERE HE IS!!!! and my hubby says "yea, so"
Im like hes totally staring, hes gonna freak out at any moment
hubby....let'm stare, keep walking

HE DID NOTHING
he did glare so hard I could feel it on my back. but my hubby was never invoved with the entire 'pill dealings' ever, at all.......so im sure the gorrilla, knowing that and the fact he's a veteran, the whatever the gorrilla pulled, Im sure the cops wuda took my hubbys side THAT day,,,,,and we did have the kiddo with us too.
the gorrila, was up in my hood. and we crossed paths at the store.
im sure there were cameras too, maybe that was part of it?

So the bad thing is, I cant tote the hubby along thru my work day. thats when I see this douche. buz I work a few blocks from where his 'den' is.

THE CAMERA,,,, I didnt even think of that.
I may have to do that......sounds good. they always say video evidence doesnt lie


And I have been up to the courthouse more than once. part of the reason Im screwed is, they know my past too, they dont know what 'recovering addict' to BELIVE this week....ya know???
even thogh I havent had so much as a traffic stop since cleaning up!!!

oh yea, tonya,
when I said the shit about how could I possibly steal 200 bx outta her purse, when I was the one that left the car,,, the cops looked at the tape right there, and saw the MOM, whatever I called her in the post above, STAY in the car, guess the camera had such a good view from how I parked, that they could see her purse in the floor board of the car btween her feet. they knew RITH THEN she was lying.
the pressed HER, I could sort of hear, they were in the next room, and she totally folded, and told them it was about pills. that I gave her a ride, and 'introduced' her, thus being MY fault, she was ripped off.
I told the cops that was a LIE as well, but at this point, they were completely done listening.....
they DID let me go
and one of them gave me aride back home (35 miles) and tryed 'talking' to me or 'saving' me on the way. I was still cuffed and in the back of the car and I was so pissed I only remember a lil of what he said tryin to be the 'good cop'
he did say, I should stop selling dope and I was gonna be in big trouble if i didnt. and this is what happens when you rip off the wrong guy.
I was like you dont even know what reallly happened!!!

but I didnt say a whole lot, I thought they knew WAY TOO much already, thanks to gorrila's MOMMY
and I had no interest in stopping at this point so it was like whatever dude

I never heard any more about it, except when I got pulled over 2 wks later in that town (prior to aprill) they really wanted to search my car, pulled me over for 'grass on my licesense plate' i wouldnt give consent (shit on me)
and REALLY pressed me about alot of stuff. but had to let me go, in the end. it was a t least a 45min stop

ANyways, I have tried everything thru the court. everything. wont do anything til he ACTUALLY assalts me

the sheriff , that was nice to me,,,,, the one from my town (live outside city limits, so Im sheriff teritory) I did see him a while back, he was the one that told me to buy mace, but wait til he's close enuff to spray, and said be sure not to spray it into the wind.....LOL
and then call the sheriff dispatch after I do it, that way Im the first one that reports it.
well, theres nowher that sells it here, that Ive found, and I really am pretty freaking nervous about him getting that close to begin with
if this dude will hang on the side of my car, in a public parking lot full of families taking thier groceries to there cars, and scream obscentities at me, while hanging on my window, WHILE EVERYONE AND THERE MOTHER STARES or stops there car to watch,
Im pretty damn sure he'd have NO problem knocking me out when noone was looking.
thankfully, Im usually off work just before dusk,, so I dont worry about being cornered in the dark.....LOL
and I dont go there period, unless Im working,,,,, for this reason alone

so, I think Im going to costco today, just to see what kind of cameras they have.
My phone will record up to 3 minutes of video as well, I never tried it before, maybe I should today.
and if the cameras are way expensive, maybe I'll check m out online or at the rent a center, aarons place up the road.

thanks everybody, if anything, at least I know Im not the only one that deals with
loonitics like the gorrilla brothers :roll:

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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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 Post subject: wasp killer
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 2:33 pm 
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OMG wasp killer??
NEVER ever would have thought of it!!!
Im def buyin some today.
I know they must have a child proof lid like spray paint does.....

thanks so much, really......thats why I posted onhere, to get new ideas.

and hat, I have the reports from when I called the cops the first two times, and I have to 'entries' I guess you'd call them
the one where he hung on my car, and another one written on the same papers as the police log reports

anyways, I keep those in the glovebox......I will add last fridays, 'episode' on there even tho he just screamed and followed me two city blocks on his bike......LOL
thank god I can still drive 8) 8) 8)


oh, and just so you know, I did ask his wife, cuz she's nice to me, if we could 'settle like adults' since Im clean now.....
a few days later she saw me and said " he wants his money or dope and thats it amber, sorry
I gotta live with him,,, Imagine that for a moment"
I simply shook my head, said you KNOW I didnt do it, and you KNOW I dont do that shit no more......
Im sure he beats on her too. Ive witnessed her bruises before. i 'hung out' with this crowd, well over 8 years

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anyone can give up,
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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
That's TRUE STRENGTH
http://almostoneyearclean.blogspot.com/


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 4:55 pm 
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The good thing about the camcorder suggestion I gave you is that it's ready to go from "Off/Not in Use" to "On and recording" in a matter of 3-5 seconds.

The camcorder we bought turns on when you open the screen...(There's not a viewfinder or thing you put your eye up to, you use the LCD screen as your "viewfinder"...)
So when you slide the LCD viewfinder out, the camera turns on automatically, and the only thing you HAVE to do is raise the lens shutter, which is operated by a small switch. So I can be recording within 3-5 seconds, depending on how fast I move my hands to open the shutter and open the LCD screen.

You would likely get enough on video before "high guy" realizes you're videotaping him, and by that time it would be too late to take back anything he said. And there's not a "tape" that you can have stolen...he'd have to physically take the camcorder away from you to get the evidence..so you don't have a chance of losing a mini-DV or nothing.

Actually, I'd thought about buying another camcorder to keep in the car like the one we have now..but they are kinda expensive -- $246 and that's with my wife's 10% over cost discount that she can get from her job (she works for the power company and they have an appliance sales center we buy all our stuff from, like dishwasher, fridge, stove, washer, dryer...all that stuff we can get for 10% over cost to the company to purchase it).


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 5:14 pm 
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Amber, I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this crap. Dealing with the wreckage of our past is something that seems to hang on for a long time.

Personally, I think the best thing for you to do is to continue to ignore him. This dude sounds crazy and crazy people are notorious for doing.....well......crazy shit. They're so unpredictable that they're scary. I've had a couple of "crazies" that I've crossed paths with and the best thing I did was leave them alone, ignore them. Anything else I did seemed to feed into their craziness?

I'm sorry I don't have any better advice for you and I'm really sorry this dude doesn't live in Kentucky, I'd shoot him right between the eyes if he did, here in Kentucky, you can shoot pretty much anything you want to, especially Gorilla's!!!

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 9:17 pm 
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Romeo's got a point. If you did have an incident with this guy and you left him writhing on the sidewalk with a face full of wasp spray. Things would get a LOT worse fast. You'd have the whole family after you, and they'd really have reason to inflict damage.

I found that most of the time, these dramas tend to fade away with time, unless they get inflamed again for any reason. And a move like that would bring everything to a head. There's been threats, but no violence. If you pushed it to that level... you know you'll be outgunned.

Just for a sense of security. If this guy really wanted to hurt you, it would have been done by now. It seems like he just wants to make life hard for you. One year sure is a long memory for an active addict, but still... Money on he will lose interest over time as the other dramas to distract him... or end up in jail for a while.

I'd keep chipping away at his wife. If there's ever a chance to do her a solid favor... word may get to him and he ..may.. pull back a bit. It's a bit peace-love-and-mungbeans, but it's good to be an opportunist with that stuff.

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and scream obscentities at me, while hanging on my window, WHILE EVERYONE AND THERE MOTHER STARES or stops there car to watch,


That sucks. Life's not like the movies where everyone's a hero. Just the other day there was camera footage of a guy being stood over by one other guy at an ATM in a busy city street and about 20 people either stood there stunned or ran away.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2012 10:47 pm 
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Yep, so well said, wreckages of our past. I don't know what state you're in, but in Michigan, restraining orders are easy. My husbands x was spreading rumors about me (surprise), so I walked up to her, told her to knock it off, and left. NO threats whatsoever. A week later, I was walking my pug near home, a cop pulled up to me with a restraining order. My friend texted her mans x, saying if she didn't knock her shit off, she was gonna knock her off. Cops came to her house shortly after (while I was there) and arrested her. I followed them to the station to bail her out.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:58 am 
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I gotta agree with Romeo and Tear. Honestly if it were me I would take it one step further, if I could afford it I would just give the asshole the $200. I realize you did nothing wrong and do not owe him a damn thing. But in my view the bigger picture here is your and your child's safety. I'd be willing to eat crow and spend $200 to ensure I would never have to deal with this maniac again. He is obviously unstable and could take this to the next level at anytime.

I would not go the wasp spray or camera route for fear it could escalate things. You may not agree with my conclusion but this is just what I would likely do if I were in your shoes. However you decide to handle this we will be here to support and help you in anyway we can. Be safe!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 23, 2012 10:28 pm 
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Well,,,,,,
heres the next chaphter,,,,,,
I thought all day about almost every post on here today.....

this dude's wife works there in town at a dog grooming place.....(.Only like 12 hours a week) I had to run to the lumberyard about 10 this morning, and I was thinking and thinking while I was driving.

I drove past the dog groomers, and her car was there. I just kept going, and then I was REALLY thinking

after I got done with my work stuff, I stopped there on the way back......
and asked if I could talk to her for a minute......
she's always been nice to me, and we used to 'deal' alot with each other a long time ago.....

So I dont really have $200 right now, and I explained that to her, I told her that this was REALLY stressing me out, and I really didnt know what else to do,
but I told her if she gave this $40 I had today to the gorrilla, that Id stop by and give HER some money every time that I could,
AS LONG as I had ABSOLUTELY NO MORE 'encounters' from her husband, or brother or anybody else for that matter....

She seemed fine with it, I even gave her a pack of smokes, cuz she was out. she thought he would take the deal just fine, and Im sure she does have some kind of influence on him.
I hope so anyways.

I thought this MIGHT give me some 'insurance' to see if he really will leave me alone. without just blowing $200 rite outta the gate. maybe I'll just give her a hundred overall. I dont know yet. but yeah, IM THAT tired of the guy.

and Im sure if I DID do something, he'd put some kinda price on my head or steal my car or my tools out of it or some shit. I was thinking, this MIGHT, MIGHT just WORK....

Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

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hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 12:47 am 
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Great work Amber. It's smart not to give the whole $200 straight out as well. At least this way you can see if it'll have an effect without blowing the lot. Don't let him abuse your good will, or try to stand over you for any more $ than you should, if you think there's a risk that he might. Find some way to record that you've given the money - bank deposits?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 1:21 am 
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Yep, I agree....even though you really don't owe those idiots that money, maybe this is the best way forward. I think that's smart on your part to only give them part of the money too. At least this way, if everything goes south on you, you're only out $40.

I'm REALLY, REALLY hoping this calms things down for you, Lord knows you don't need that kind of stress in your life.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:40 am 
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I hope this works as well and agree it's smart to only give him the $40. I know how hard you work for your money and how pissed you must be to give any of it to that asshole but if it works you can move on with your life. You should be really proud of yourself and how far you've come.


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