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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 8:23 pm 
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I've been 100% clean and sober for nearly 8 months. IV heroin is my drug of choice. I lost everything including myself. I've never had more than a month or so clean in 20 years without suboxone until recently. I have cooccurring disorders. I suffer from Bipolar 2 depression, ADHD, PTSD and am body dysmorphic.I've been struggling bad with major mood swings and tried several medications that all had horrible side effects. I always noticed suboxone to have a pronounced positive effect on my mood. The other day I was in a rage and decided to take just 1mg of suboxone. WOW!! Unless you've tried suboxone with substantial clean time like me, you have no idea how powerful it is. I couldn't believe how high I got. Needless to say, my mood improved. I'm also a bodybuilder and mixed martial artist and suffer from chronic pain in my shoulders, knees and elbows. Suboxone helps with the joint pain. I am heavily involved with NA/AA. I'm writing my 4th step as we speak with a sponsor. I don't know how he or AA as a whole feels about it. I know drug replacement therapy is perhaps THE most controversial subjects in 12-step recovery today. The more I think about it, the more I want to call and make an appointment. I'd be totally fine with 2mg a day for pain, mood, and relapse protection. Has anyone started maintenance without a habit? Here in MA you don't have to produce a dirty urine. So many people are dying here from Heroin overdoses that they changed all the laws making it easier to get help. I went to 3 wakes this month. I can't put my family through that. I've been having thoughts and cravings lately too. I almost copped this afternoon. I took 1mg of suboxone instead. There is no reason I should be alive because when I'm ripping and running I use like a fucking animal.I put enough in the cooker to kill me every time, but I'm still here. I've had multiple overdoses, detoxes, half way houses, sections, arrests and psyche wards. I'm all set with taking even the slightest chance of going back to that horror show of active heroin addiction. I think I'm just gonna get back on the suboxone. Any feedback will be greatly appreciated!!! THANKS!


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 8:43 pm 
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Infidel, it sounds like going back on buprenorphine is a very good idea for you. And it seems that your dose wouldn't have to be very high because your tolerance is low at the moment.

I say this a lot, especially to people worried about their standing at AA or NA. Besides a keychain tag, there is no prize for being completely abstinent from all medications. You have to measure how much a good quality life means to you, and a long life at that! Being abstinent is not a prize. Living is!

I think that step work is very good for addicts, so you should continue to go to meetings as long as no one is trying to make you stop your medication. That would be a deal breaker for me.

Bupe can and does act to relieve depression in some people. It may work for you! Keep the lines of communication with your doctor open.

Good luck and I hope you come to the right conclusion for you! :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2016 11:53 pm 
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Thank you Amy. Bupe absolutely helps with my depression and mood. It gives me motivation. I always said it puts me in a good positive frame of mind. My attitude improves. It really is a remarkable drug. However, the acute withdrawl from bupe is an absolute horror show that I swore I'd never go through again. It was 10x harder to kick than heroin. It felt like an eternity. Dope sick for 2 weeks and no sleep for 2 months is nothing to take lightly. But that was from quitting abruptly due to incarseration. It's still better than overdosing and dying.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 24, 2016 8:46 pm 
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I've read the comments on the internet and elsewhere about buprenorphine being so much harder to stop than heroin. But I know a number of people--- former patients--- who stopped buprenorphine. And I don't know anyone who stopped heroin, other then people who were incarcerated.

I keep an open mind. But I suspect that one reason people find buprenorphine so hard to stop is because they actually manage to stop it. I've talked with so many people who say heroin was 'so much easier to stop'--- but when I have them describe their using history, they were all on heroin again by the end of a week or two.

There are a number of articles in the scientific literature, describing buprenorphine as a useful 'detox drug'-- something that reduces the severity of withdrawal and helps people stop heroin. It's interesting that the medication has a reputation as a detox tool... yet is considered 'harder to stop'.


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