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 Post subject: My missing "high"
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:15 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:30 pm
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Location: Portland OR
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I just have to share with you guys about my night, last night!

I totally forgot about this natural high I have felt in the past. Modeling has been, from the start, my passion. For awhile I put my all into trying to make it a career but came to the conclusion that in Portland, Or - I would not be able to. I knew I would never want to leave my family or this place I have grown up. That has not stopped me from having modeling as a hobby or side job. I have made money and have got some great things out of it, but the one thing that really make me love it, is this rush or high I get from it. I remember the first shoot I ever did...it almost felt euphoric.

Well when I got in to opiates I realized I could have the euphoric feeling 24/7. Not only that, but the rush too. of course after months and months, that rush turned into the total opposite. No longer did I care about going out with friends or seeing family all the time..but the one thing I really did not want to do was model. I lost confidence, motivation, drive and most of all I knew I couldn't put the energy into modeling. I had none of that left over after putting all in to H. I also did not want to see what I truly looked like. You cannot fool the camera.

So last night, after being clean for 10 days clean and about 7 months of not being in front of the camera - I DID IT! I had so much fun and I felt myself open up and it was so nice not to have to hide who I was. My old self is coming back and I feel so blessed to have such support.


Thanks for listening!

I wanted to share some of my modeling but last time I couldn't post a URL....so if anyone wants to see or has advice on how to do post this, please let me know!!!


Have a wonderful week everyone!!!

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 Post subject: YES!!
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:33 pm 
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WOO HOO!!!!! Now that's the kind of post I want to keep on my mind. Positive baby, positive.

Love & hope, Queenie


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:17 pm 
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AWSOME!!!! miss H

Thanks for the post its always great to here some positive comments 8) Keep it up :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 29, 2010 11:53 pm 
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Congrats! On your 10 days. Subs saved my life and Im glad to hear that u r giving it a chance.Thats the first step.Keep on doin what ur doin! I really dont know how to post a url on here, but I will def. find out! I d like to see ur modeling photos. That is what u meant right?

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 30, 2010 12:52 pm 
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Joined: Wed Sep 22, 2010 7:30 pm
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thank you all for the motivating words!

It really keeps me going.

I have had a few hard moments...and when I do, I come on here and it helps.

I am on day day FOURTEEN!!! The first 3 days were the hardest days of my life, as you all probably know. What scares me is the odds that are out there for relapse. It seems like I could easily live my life clean, like this, without relapsing.

Either way, today is all that matters and I know I have you all for support, along with friends and family and a wondrful hubby.

Maybe later I would post about "my story" in case anyone wants to hear!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 8:59 am 
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This reminds me of my music hobby. I'm a musician, I've been playing multiple instruments since I was a kid. These days I focus on guitar, bass guitar and keyboards and I do some home recording. As my opiate addiction took off, I found myself less and less interested in my music, but once I started taking suboxone, my interest in it came ROARING back and I am now very close to releasing a full-length album.

I will be forever grateful to suboxone for helping me turn my life around.


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 Post subject: You go baby
PostPosted: Sat Oct 16, 2010 9:57 pm 
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Don't let anything stop you from living. I am rooting for you. Love, Queenie


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Oct 17, 2010 7:39 pm 
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I'm always ready to hear a story so type it out and would love to see some pics

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 Post subject: Congrats
PostPosted: Sat Dec 18, 2010 11:13 pm 
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It's great that you found your passion with modeling! I just watched a show called America's Next
Top Model with our daughter. Man that is one tough industry! It seems that you have to be in LA
or NY 8) if you ever want to be successful. The other thing is that everyone is so critical of each other
and downright nasty :cry: . Please be careful and remember that sobriety has to always come first. We will
chear you on when you are America's Next Top Model :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: !!!


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