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 Post subject: Fear of the unkown
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:21 pm 
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I am looking for advice. I was on 85mgs of methadone and still using about a half gram of heroin. So I decided to taper down to 30mgs of methadone and switch to suboxone as they have a blocking effect. Do they stop cravings or will I still want to take heroin. I feel like a broken man as I just cannot control myself and I am hoping that suboxone is my answer. Can anyone give me advice. thanks


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 Post subject: Re: Fear of the unkown
PostPosted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 8:09 pm 
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Can a moderator divide the above post out and start a new thread with it?

adash wrote:
I am looking for advice. I was on 85mgs of methadone and still using about a half gram of heroin. So I decided to taper down to 30mgs of methadone and switch to suboxone as they have a blocking effect. Do they stop cravings or will I still want to take heroin. I feel like a broken man as I just cannot control myself and I am hoping that suboxone is my answer. Can anyone give me advice. thanks


Hi Adash,

Do you have a plan of tapering or stopping methadone before you start suboxone? I want to make sure someone is advising you properly on how to do it. For me, I was not able to complete quit messing around with heroin while on methadone. Subxone did the trick (for me) in that regard. Wishing you luck. If you want more advice or support, let me know.


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 Post subject: Can't do
PostPosted: Sun Apr 07, 2013 4:04 pm 
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Sorry TD, I was thinking the same thing. We can move an entire thread but not a single post. All we can do is what you did. Invite them to start their own thread.

Let's see if he takes the suggestion.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:05 am 
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Rule-

Interesting.. if you select a post, you can't choose "create new thread?" I guess it depends on the code written into the websites? Ok.. thanks for responding!




NICKY/ NICK-O-----

How are you? I for one would love an update. I am really hoping that you're pulling through with flying colors, all things considered. hugs, dude.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 11:30 am 
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Update............

after 7 full days with no sleep and trying trazadone, seroquel, adivan, xanax, zanaflex, clonidine, benadryll, valarian root, nyquill melatonin, hot baths and just about anything else you can think of, i gave in at a moment of desperation, and i did 2 bags of dope last night(first illegal use in over a year) i was going to take suboxone but didnt know if i would have been thrown into p/w from it i was in w/d but nothing i couldnt handle i was starting to almost hallucinate from sleep deprivation, i slept last night but i still feel like i didnt, it wasnt restful sleep no REM i know it( i always dream every night prior to leaving methadone clinic) but i feel like a failure and now im scared that i just set myself back to day one... Also worrying that i might make withdrawals worse then what they were, Mild... just no sleep. i was so desperate for sleep i did the one thing that i knew would knock me out, and i hate myself for it. trying to get too depressed but i thought i was superman and that i didnt need suboxone, maybe i do. i told my sister but not my parents, do not have the heart to tell them because they have been too good to me over the past week. I am not letting this one time relapse set me up for complete failure, its done and im not looking back. :((((( i will keep you updated and promise that this wont happen again, i know if do what i did again last night, it will kill me/ or i will end up in prison.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 09, 2013 12:43 pm 
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Sigh.. I'm sorry to hear this happened.

Nick, You were so far out of the precipitated withdrawals window, had you gone for a little sub instead, I'm willing to bet that not only would you have gotten some sleep but you probably would have felt a little buzz too. Please don't be so afraid of the P/Ws.. It's hindering your progress. Let the dope leave your system, it shouldn't take more than a day or two, and then ease on to suboxone. Start with a little piece just to let your body get used to it. Then take more as needed. The good news is that you haven't set yourself back that far at all, you are not at square one. But, you need to stay away from dope. Please.

Also, one last warning of caution, don't take too much sub your first day since you're having trouble with sleep. It could keep you up. Start low and see how that works, you can always add to your dose.

Don't beat yourself up.


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PostPosted: Wed Apr 10, 2013 10:23 am 
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UPDATE: 10th day off of methadone, 48 hours since relapse. i feel really good today, i slept again last night with the help of adivan, and actually got some REM sleep. had odd dreams of crawling through tunnels. i am def back to where i was before i relapsed but i do not feel it set me back much at all, its like it almost had to happen once... but never again, i have the will and determination thati have never felt before, i am achey in the legs, very sweaty, and have to go to the bathroom frequently. but, i am not craving drugs, in fact when i used the other day i wasnt craving drugs, i was craving sleep... but thats behind me. still no suboxone. although if i do get desperate again for whatever reason, i will use it instead of the alternative... i actually feel a lot better now that i got 2 nights of sleep, hoping that tonight will be the same, going to try to get to bed without the adivan. i am sneezing A LOT lol but that is normal. i am not having the big bad terrible withdrawal that i hear from methadone, the sleep just got to me. i have some energy today i am going to go on a nice long walk even though i feel like i just want to sit in bed and not move. i will continue to update, and i am prepared for another week without sleep if it happens. i did it before and ill do it again, i have a bible study today, and i feel like god is really steering me in the right path this time. im not out of the woods yet, but im getting closer.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 8:26 am 
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Hey Nicky!

I was worried when I read the post about your relapse...but then the last post sounded like you were in a much better place. I am concerned for you though, I want to see you beat this. Have you asked your doctor about Ambien? I would be willing to bet they would prescribe it for you. You need to find something to deal with this sleep issue if that is what is causing the relapse. And even though Ambien can be addicting if it is abused it seems to be safer than using benzos for sleep. Just be careful, but call the doctor and ask!

One of my main issues with WD is sleep and restless legs and this is the ONLY thing that works for me.

Please be careful! Let us know how you are today K?


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 11, 2013 9:40 am 
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Update:

Thanks for everyone keeping in touch with me, 11 days off methadone and 3 days since the one time relapse. i am not in any worse of withdrawal then i had thought i possibly would be, main symptoms are major cold sweats, like all day, stomach disturbance, headache (which i think is dehydration? Leg and lower back aches that are worse at night, and the restless legs. and OF COURSE insomnia. but, in the past 3 nights i have gotten at least 5-6 hours of sleep (with the help of adivan 1-2 mgs a night. but tonight i am going to try using the trazadone instead, we'll see what happens. the benzos are only for 1 week and i prob have 2-3 days worth left so i have to use them sparingly. i asked my doctor if there was any chance of becoming physcally dependant on adivan over the use of one week, and he told me its pretty much impossible. but at the same time, i do not want to start another addiction on my way out of this one. yesterday and today were a complete 180 for me, i feel great mentally, and have no desire to use even though i dont feel the greatest. i just know using again isnt going to help, but draw out this withdrawal longer. any advice on how long the leg aches, lethargy insomnia and stomach issues usually last?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 12, 2013 4:17 pm 
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UPDATE: i know there are people that prob need more assistance than me at this point, but i am going to continue to update periodically every day because this has kind of turned into a withdrawal journal at this point. i am on day 12 with no methadone and things are a little better, i have been getting some sleep not much, i need to not rely on the adivan everytime i cannot sleep. i went on a 1-2 mile walk today and although it tired me to the point of laying here on the couch for the rest of the day it felt really good, i know i got some natural opiates/endorphins flowing because i got that "runner's high feeling" right now i am still very manic, my mind is constantly racing and my body is just blehhh, i am noticing that i am not sweating as much and the time in between sneezes and amount of sneezing seems to be lessening slightly. stomach is still pretty bad but i have an apatite. major fatigue still, headaches. day time is ok for me but night time i get extremely restless and frustrated with not being able to fall asleep when i want to. overall compared to about 90% of methadone withdrawals, this is a walk in the park. i should be more thankful that i am not having more severe symptoms. i am supposed to go back to work starting tom. and hopefully will be able to function moderately throughout the work day. watching a lot of t.v. shows mainly (Game of thrones, Bones, and Fringe) i have been starting to get mild cravings for opiates but have been fighting them with mild exercise.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 2:56 pm 
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It has been 2 weeks since the last dose of methadone, and 1 full week since the relapse. i wen't back to work yesterday which sucked, still suffering massive fatigue. insomnia is still there but i am getting anywhere from 2-4 hours a night in 30-60 minute intervals for the past three days. last night was the first night i slept without any help, no adivan, no benadryll, no trazadone, no nothing. each day is a little bit better. i am sneezing less every day, but still a lot. and my ummm, bathroom habits seem to be starting to normalize. i have been having these mind-bending headaches in the morning, but i think it might be dehydration. i just cleaned the house up for my parents which took up the remaining energy i had. i have odd feelings mainly in the morning, almost like im dreaming while awake sorta thing. my reaction time is off and my thinking is really cloudy. i noticed that my driving is not as sharp as when i was on methadone. but a lot of my other senses are coming back full fledge. i am really manic still, hyper in the mind but my body is not ready for what i want to be doing. i feel like i am making a rapid recovery compared to most people. i am not getting too cocky because technically it has only been 7 days since i used, but i can feel a major difference in today VS day 1-7. when i do sleep, i am having really symbolic dreams, that i am crawling through dirt tunnels that have fencing, rocks or other obstacles in the way of me getting to the other side where i need to be. dreams of climbing trees then branches snapping, me falling down and then attempting to climb again. also me swimming in a swimming pool that is full of cigarette butts, pills, needles empty baggies, etc.. and my trying to climb out of the pool without drowning. it is amazing how the mind/body copes with withdrawal. going to go play guitar, and possibly read a book. one last thing, i have never had acne this bad in my life, i have not been eating a ton of junk, must be another aspect of my body detoxing and getting rid of toxins (methadone).


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:08 pm 
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Your doing really well, Nicky. Good for you! Sounds like you're dealing with all the normal stuff.. just keep hanging in there, going to work and pulling through. your sleep wil even out. You said your driving is not as sharp as when on methadone, um.. LOL!! How sharp was it on methadone? I'd bet not that sharp as you think.. just a guess. Anyway, so proud of you that you're doing this and trying to do it the right way for you. Keep at it.


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 18, 2013 4:44 pm 
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Update:

today is day 17 off methadone. doing really well compared to a week ago. it has been a walk in the park compared to a lot of the horror stories i have heard about coming off this crap, monthes of withdrawal and suffering. i have been really lazy achey and lethargic the past two days not going out on my daily walks and such i did go fishing today and that alone sucked all my energy dry. i ate a cheese-burger last night and today i feel like death really sore in the legs/back and a massive headache. thought one burger wouldn't hurt me that bad. i was WRONG, but boy was that sucker good. it was not nearly worth it tho. i got 4-5 hours of scattered sleep last night with just melatonin and have been taking calc. mag. zinc. at night as well for the past week, don't know if it is helping but i know methadone sucks the calcium out of your bones, there was actually a harvard study that showed long time methadone users to have lower bone density then that of the avg. human. and for a 20 year old, i have done some minor-mid damage to my teeth, never had a problem with them til methadone, now they seem to beginning to crumble away. i cannot blame it all on the methadone, during the years i was on it i must have eaten 1 box of Reese's Puffs a day for a year. ahhhhhhh i can't even talk about them, i am just as addicted to those as anything (without getting sick from not having them) sorry if i am boring you all with my constant posts, this is more of a virtual journal now like i said in an earlier post. cravings to use come and go, but i am slowly learning to deal with them, as a good friend once said to me, whenever you want to go out and use, remember what it feels like to need it, and not be able to get it.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 19, 2013 1:33 pm 
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When I was on methadone I had an obsession for the See's candy White Chocolate & Mint truffles. It was out of hand.


You're doing it, Nick! I'm so happy that you were able to just taper and jump now rather than in 3 or 4 months after going through the suboxone induction madness. I wish you the best. Keep checking in and if you run into any troubles, someone will be here for you. Be careful out there and stay on top of your teeth, it's so important at your age.


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 Post subject: Coming up on a month.
PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 1:07 pm 
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another thanks to everyones replies (especially tinydancer for the support straight from the beginning.)

26 days since last dose! and i feel really good, i slept like 9 hours hours last night, it felt good to sleep in. passed the hell out after work. i have a lot going on right now, i have knee trouble from when i used to play basketball in high school, bad knees run in the family. got an MRI and it showed a bone bruise in my left and right knee's. pretty weak, but it's not something that cannot heal it just takes a lot of time, 3-9 monthes, the only thing is i get pretty mad that im so young and i cannot even work a full day without agonizing pain in the knees. but, every time i start to complain like this, i think to myself as corny as it sounds, it could be sooo much worse. i am thankful for everything i have, a warm house, food, minor luxuries, i have it pretty easy compared to a lot of people. but i cannot live at my parents house forever, i need to be physically healthy/strong enough to provide for myself and get my own place. but all that will come with time, i tend to forget it has not even been a month off methadone and that i am more likely than not experiencing some level of withdrawal/ PAWS whatever you want to call it. starting to feel more like a human every day. i tend to still look/feel like i am high on something even though i know i am not. it is the weirdest feeling. always really dark under my eyes, and they look like i just smoked a joint or something. not sure what thats about. maybe its just in my head because i am so used to looking in the mirror and seeing myself loaded.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 26, 2013 5:08 pm 
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All good stuff, Nick.

Are you taking any benzos or the trazadone still? That could be making you look wrecked.. but I know exactly what you're talking about. I pretty much looked like I had been hit by a truck for about 2-3 months after quitting. I remember my face being a bit puffy, too. I'd bet it's from all the sweating we do and our bodies retaining extra water. Make sure you're getting enough fluids.

It's nice that you're checking in.


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