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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 4:44 pm 
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Hey guys, I've lurked this forum for awhile so I figured it is about time for me to sign up and introduce myself.

I have had a polydrug problem since I was 16, which is 12 years ago.

I was on high dose benzos for 10 years and I quit that almost 2 years ago. I had multiple seizures during the withdrawal.

During my benzo habit I also picked up an opiate habit for about 3 years when my mom died. I was taking anywhere from 750-1000mg of morphine at a time, literally a handful of the 15mg pills. One time a friend who saw me dosing knocked the pills out of my hand because he thought I was trying to commit suicide when he saw the massive pile of pills I was swallowing like it was no big deal.

I quit the morphine with the help of suboxone and stayed on for a few months. I had bad PAWS and ended up picking up a tramadol habit because it really took the edge off.

I ended up not being able to kick the tramadol. The withdrawal was even worse than traditional opiates due the SNRI action of ultram. I was on it for 4 years and also had a couple seizures from taking excessive doses.

During the entirety of the past 12 years I have smoked marijuana every day except maybe a total of 60 days. When I try to quit smoking I get horrific insomnia and can't sleep at all for weeks on end.

I went to the doctor and got back on sub, but it was so expensive I ended up getting more on the street rather than working with the doctor. It is considerably cheaper for me to get them illicitly.

As of today I am 28 days free of tramadol. My dose has fluctuated from anywhere from 1mg of bupe to 8mg depending on the day. I average out at ~3.5mg a day this past month. My goal is to stay off the tramadol and kick the weed as well. This is day 2 no marijuana for me. I have clonidine/neurontin/trazadone/hydroxizine for when I decide to get off the suboxone.

I am currently working full time and I will be going to school full time as well starting next week. I have about 27 8mg strips and I'm going to try to make that last all semester so hopefully I can kick bupe by around christmas time when school is over. My goal is about ~1.5mg per day until christmas.

I plan to use a liquid taper to get off of the bupe. I used water titration to get off the benzos so I am familiar the process.

I have also started working out for the first time in my life as well as doing yoga and meditating. My goal is to learn how to live a life without chemical crutches. I want to be sober.

I am sorry for how terribly written this post is. Usually I write a bit better I promise. ;)


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2012 5:03 pm 
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Hello and welcome to the forum. Good luck with your taper and keep us posted on how things are going.

One thing I would suggest is to try not to vary your Sub dosage so much - you'll want to get out of the habit of dosing in response to how your day is going. Sticking to a set dose will help you develop other skills for dealing with rough days, etc., and it will help make your taper smoother.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 19, 2012 8:04 pm 
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Hello everyone, I just wanted to give a quick update. I have been taking 2mg for about a week now and I think I have stabilized at that dose and will drop to 1.8mg soon. I have also continued to abstain from marijuana which is a *huge* accomplishment for me. I have been taking a combination of gabapentin and hydroxizine for sleep and it is working well. Fall semester starts tomorrow; I am excited and in a good state of mind.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 1:31 am 
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GOOD for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


thanks for checking in!!!!

thats awesome your staying positive, that will take you a LONGGGGG ways :wink:

AND most of all

[marq=right]AWESOME JOB staying away from the MJ[/marq]

Keep up the good work!!!!

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its the easiest thing in the world to do, but to
hold it together, when everyone would understand if you fell apart
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 4:58 am 
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You're doing great! Keep it up! Sounds like you're going to be really busy now, so that will probably help enormously. It is very sad that it's easier and cheaper to obtain sub on the street and it makes me a little angry that so many people are selling their scripts. I hope that it doesn't end up adversely affecting those of us who have jumped through the hoops and are doing things by the book. But honestly, I wish you all the best!

Amy

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 20, 2012 6:04 am 
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Hi there Alakazam! Good for you! I am glad to hear that you are doing so well. I am also very proud of you for being able to kick the marijuana habit! That HAS to be tough! I agree with Amy that going back to school is going to keep you busy. It's great to hear that you are in such a positive frame of mind too! I am so glad that you took Diary's advice and got stabilized on a consistent dose. That had to help tremendously. Especially with school starting back up and all. If you can't taper right away to 1.8mg, I wouldn't worry too much either. You are already doing great! Keep up the good work!

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