It is currently Wed Aug 23, 2017 12:28 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:59 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
Wow, ladder, good for you. You're making good decisions, taking care of business, putting your recovery first and most importantly taking care of yourself and your kids. These are the skills that got you six years of sobriety, and I know you can do it again. Keep up the good work. Also, I pray for healing between you and your daughter. I have a 9 year old daughter and I know how important that relationship is. YOU are the most important person in her life right now, especially as she's probably just starting puberty. No matter how mad she is, she needs you and you are going to be there for her. Stay strong, we're all rooting for you.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:28 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
Doing so-so.

My daughter came home. It went better than I expected. She is pretty angry at me, but I think underneath that, she's just sad and scared. I explained a lot about alcoholism to her, and my mom was there to kinda give extra credibility to what I was saying.

I kept wondering if maybe she just wants to permanently move to my friend's house....because they would be thrilled to have that happen....but the thought that she would wanna do that makes me :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: They have a lot of money obviously more than I thought, and they decorated her her own zebra print room while she was there the past week. Like....her own bedroom with all new stuff. New walls, new bed, comforter, sheets, drapes, etc. She came home with three new pairs of shoes, new clothes.......! Trampoline world or movies or dinner or something every day and night. They probably dropped a good 5k on her, with the beds they bought.....I can't do that. She shares a room with her sister here. No unlimited funds here...Anyway, she now has a room there of her own, and she knows she can go there if I mess up again. She can call my friend and my friend will go get her and she'll be safe. I guess that's good.

Then I started thinking I can't measure up because of all that, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. I think she's just mad and they gave her stability, and it's not the zebra room that mattered so much. I hope that, anyway.

As far as seeing my neurologist, I found out I lose my license for three months, mandatory for losing consciousness. This hit me hard. I am certainly struggling over it. I guess I expected it to a point, but my family is having to take up so much slack for me because of all this, and the guilt over that sucks. My husband can't come back yet, because there's no job for him here. I'm stuck in a house in a development with nothing by it, with three kids, and I can't drive. WTF am I going to do? My mom has to help me, and I hate that.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:40 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I'm so glad to hear your daughter is home. When you described what your former friend did for your daughter, what occurred to me was they were the ones trying to "buy" her because they are the ones who aren't her mother. They are the ones who can't give her what she needs - YOU! Maybe you can try to think of it that way? Or maybe just consider that possibility?

I know it's super hard to have to depend on other people, especially a parent again at our age, but it sounds like your mother is very supportive of you, is that true? Has she been helping you happily or begrudgingly? It's perfectly normal to be unhappy depending on someone, but focus on the end of it, because it's not forever and the three months WILL be over before you know it.

As for the neurontin, to be quite honest, I would think you would have adjusted to the grogginess by now. (I'm sorry to say.) Has it subsided at all? If it has, then it's still possible that you will adjust more. It might just take more time due to you perhaps being on a high dose. I'm so sorry it has your head messed up.

How are the meetings going? Have you thought about online meetings in between going to them in person?

Hang in there, ladder. Of all people, I know YOU can get through this. Remember how many of us care about you and are here for you. And most of all, remember that this is temporary.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 10:46 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2009 12:47 am
Posts: 1496
Ladder, is the friend that has the room in her house for your daughter the same friend that went off on you and is no longer speaking to you?

_________________
You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.

-Jack Kornfield


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 11:53 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
hatmaker510 wrote:
I'm so glad to hear your daughter is home. When you described what your former friend did for your daughter, what occurred to me was they were the ones trying to "buy" her because they are the ones who aren't her mother. They are the ones who can't give her what she needs - YOU! Maybe you can try to think of it that way? Or maybe just consider that possibility?

I know it's super hard to have to depend on other people, especially a parent again at our age, but it sounds like your mother is very supportive of you, is that true? Has she been helping you happily or begrudgingly? It's perfectly normal to be unhappy depending on someone, but focus on the end of it, because it's not forever and the three months WILL be over before you know it.

As for the neurontin, to be quite honest, I would think you would have adjusted to the grogginess by now. (I'm sorry to say.) Has it subsided at all? If it has, then it's still possible that you will adjust more. It might just take more time due to you perhaps being on a high dose. I'm so sorry it has your head messed up.

How are the meetings going? Have you thought about online meetings in between going to them in person?

Hang in there, ladder. Of all people, I know YOU can get through this. Remember how many of us care about you and are here for you. And most of all, remember that this is temporary.


My mom is helping me happily. I am so lucky to have her. She is working full time from my house, so at least she's not having to miss work.

I had a good morning with my daughter. We cooked breakfast together and she said my pancakes were better than my friend's. :D

I'm hunting down rides to meetings to take some of the load off my mom. I think people will be pretty nice about it. Lots of them have lost their licenses at some point. I just know I HAVE to go somehow....even if I need to ride my bike a zillion miles. I wish I could just take the dune buggy, but apparently that's also a no-go. :wink:

Dare I say that I think the Neurontin is maybe helping to level me out. I think it may be a good thing right now. I'm not feeling groggy. This stuff may not be so bad after all. The neurologist said it's a weak anti epileptic, but as long as I take it and don't drink and don't quit taking my Klonopin, I should be fine seizure-wise. The Neurontin is in a capsule. Is that what you take, Hat? I can still feel it kick in and wear off. Is that normal? No more headaches from it tho.

It is absolutely on day at a time. This is a very humbling experience.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:06 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
LT said, "I had a good morning with my daughter. We cooked breakfast together and she said my pancakes were better than my friend's. " AWESOME!!!

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Hell to the NO
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:22 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
Diary of a Quitter wrote:
Ladder, is the friend that has the room in her house for your daughter the same friend that went off on you and is no longer speaking to you?


Nope, that friend is long gone. Weird to see and talk to someone every damn day and then they are gone. She is good at cutting people though. She had her daughter moved to another seat so my daughter wouldn't be sitting next to her. :( :( :( I've seen her outside working in her yard, but I just 'walk on by', as she told me to do.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 5:39 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
Man, I am so up and down. I feel kinda crazy. Went to a meeting and was doing okay. Got a text from my brother-in-law.....harsh, harsh text. I hate texting at this point. People say things they cannot say to your face. He was over here last night and said nothing. Then, this text comes....he cannot trust me to watch their future children as it stands. So depressing. I started bawling after the meeting. Sweet, sweet old lady drove me home and plied me with donuts and all the stories of when doctors used to prescribe moms amphetamines and narcotics in one pill, and how she and all her mommy friends got addicted to them. Addicts/alcoholics are really good people.....

BUT, normal people don't understand us. I feel like I'm in two separate worlds. I go to a meeting and spill my guts, tell exactly what I've done, and the people there just nod, tell their stories (which frequently top mine!), hug me, and tell me to come back. That is one world. The other world is the normal people world....where what I do is just so insanely irresponsible and goes against everything I normally am, and it scares and horrifies the crap out of people. In meetings, I understand my actions. In the normal world, I'm like "Holy SHIT! Why would I do such stupid shit?!!" I can hold my head up in the first world, but not in this one yet.

I started reading my Big Book again, and guess who can top me? Bill can! This IS a disease. People who don't have it will never, ever understand it, because it is INSANITY and makes zero sense unless you call it a disease.....I wanna know WHY good people have to suffer with it so terribly, lose their family, their health, their lives....I HATE IT!!!

Now I got another text, and it seems like I have found a sponsor. She is a cute little blond bundle of insane energy, and I've been told she will kick my ass into shape, but that's kinda what I need right now.

Up and down.....and up and down..... :roll: I need to cry again.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:22 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
Hey ladder tipper, I remember this one AA speaker I think it was on a speaker tape, can't remember. Anyway he said something like meetings are our 'home', we go in and charge up our batteries and then go out and deal with the outside world. It was really good, Im not really doing it justice..

Hope ur new sponsor is cool...

It does really suck to have this disease, but there is a solution that has worked for many many people. And you are doin it.

One of my favorite parts of the big book is one of its promises. It is the paragraph that starts at the bottom of p. 84 and continues on to the next page. I try to read this paragraph when I feel antsy.

Gb


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:50 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
glen bee wrote:
Hey ladder tipper, I remember this one AA speaker I think it was on a speaker tape, can't remember. Anyway he said something like meetings are our 'home', we go in and charge up our batteries and then go out and deal with the outside world. It was really good, Im not really doing it justice..


I thought I'd do a quick search on youtube but didn't find anything that stood out that sounded like that. But here are the search results for Alcoholics Anonymous with the keywords "meetings are our home". Just thought maybe some of those videos might help you between meetings along with your big book.

And LT, I say cry every single time you feel the need to. Crying is very purging and usually we feel better afterward and sleep better, too. Plus, as I've learned in 25 years of therapy, we NEED to express our emotions. They will stay intense until we express them...they are sort of like a pressure cooker and we need to let the steam out every so often so it doesn't explode on the kitchen ceiling. So express yourself, including crying. I don't want to hear you exploded on the kitchen ceiling. LOL.

(I'm trying to make you laugh...did it work?)

Anyway, as I was saying, as long as our emotions are intense, our rational thinking is low or lacking. Once we express the intense emotions and they return to at least a somewhat normal level (or even keel), then our rational thinking processes will also come back up. Normally our emotions and rational thoughts are fairly balanced and when one is out of whack the other has the opposite effect. (I hope that made some sense.)

Keep up the good work and I'm glad to see you are continuing to talk about this. I firmly believe it will help (as it IS expressing your feelings).

OK, shutting up now. Thinking of you.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 7:59 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jan 01, 2011 12:59 pm
Posts: 1039
Ladder, it sounds horribly inappropriate that the friend your daughter was staying with spent $5k on her in one week. I can't even speculate as to what that was all about. It was also inappropriate of your bro-in-law to be nice to your face and then send you a nasty text saying you can't care for their "future" children. WTF? You know, people keep pointing out how f'ed up you are, but look at THEIR actions. My sponsor always says that people in the "normal" world are just as sick as us, but they don't have the benefit of a program to deal with any of it. I think she's right. Keep your head up.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:23 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
GB, I love the promises!! I really cannot believe I am back here, identifying as a newcomer....really can't believe it. I think I just got too confident in myself and my ability to manage this on my own. I simply cannot do it.

Hatmaker, you made me chuckle, and that's really significant! Your idea of youtube vids in between meetings and the Big Book is a great idea. I didn't think of that....but I need a lot of support right now, and all sources are welcome.

Lilly, my brother-in-law's text certainly hurt, but I just have to accept that he does not get it. He is angry. I'm sure he resents the time my sister has been spending driving me around and spending with me, rather than with him, since they just got married....I don't know. He's kind of a new person in my life, so I'm learning how to handle him. It's weird when your siblings get married.

I just don't really know what I'm supposed to do first. I feel like everything is upside down and different. My mail is stacked. My wonderful mom does laundry and puts it away in all the wrong places, lol. My house needs a ton of work. I don't know what to do first, so I'm just focusing on my kids and cuddling my puppy (when not at meetings).

You guys rock. None of us asked to have this craziness in our heads.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 1:44 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4140
Ummm...Laddertipper, can I have your brother-in-law's number? There are a couple things I feel like texting him! Do you think he'd be more offended if I called him an ass-wipe or a douche-bag? Because I think I could work either one of those names into a sentence about his glaring ignorance and lack of humanity.

:)
Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:33 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
Posts: 565
Location: in front of my laptop
[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey ladder~you are going to be OK. Hear me? You are going to be just fine, and you are going to make it through this. Just keep on doing exactly what you are doing. You can only do so much. I know that right now it seems like everything has this sense of urgency to it. But it doesn't. When I got this wild sense of becoming or being overwhelmed, I'd make a list. And everyday I'd do ONE thing. IF I felt like it, I did two. Pretty soon you'll feel a sense of accomplishment as you are checking things off, that you'll automatically do more. As far as the mail piling up, this is what I used to do. Since your daughter is home, get her to help. My Emily used to love, and I mean LOVE going through mail with me. We adults look at mail like "BILLS". Kids for some reason think its cool and fun. At least mine do. Well Emily would open the stuff up and separate it into piles for me. She would start reading stuff and I'd say "bill" or "junk". It made her feel like she was in charge of something. It's funny thinking back on that, her little chest would stick out a little prouder and she would be all proud! LOL

About your brother inlaw~I am with Amy and Lily on this. For now, I'd ignore him. Just like you are feeling like he is new in your life, so is he. He is trying to find his place in your family. He is probably speaking from feelings about your sister right now. He gets the real, raw, unedited version at home, of how this affects her. So maybe they talked on the way home, or later that night, and he was reacting to that. Who knows. He is your sisters husband, he'll get over it.

Ok, your friend~ I can totally get how you feel inadequate, and a little "less than", when you find out she spent upwards of $5ooo dollars on your daughter. Unreal. My jaw hit the floor when I read that. LIke Lily, I agree that that is WILDY inappropriate. She may be the generous caring person you say she is, but it's still inappropriate. I'm sure her heart is in the right place, but just be careful. You said that they would be happy to have her permanently??? That's absurd! They need to learn some boundaries, and you need to watch your back. I'd hate for them to try and get custody of her. Of course a 10 year old is going to say "I wanna live where I am spoiled rotten". Maybe I am too paranoid, but I saw it happen to me. My daughter was spoiled with all of the material things that I could not afford at the time. I wasn't even a close second. What I did give her though, is something she is going to come looking for when she is 18. Morals, principles, and unconditional love.

I hope that things progressively keep on getting better for you and your daughter. I know that your number one role is to be her parent, but maybe you can focus on trying to be her friend for a little. It sounds like you are, and I personally think that you are a terrific mother ladder! I mean that. I would have been proud to have you as a mother when I was a kid. Keep that head of yours up! You deserve to be happy. Take care~and keep us posted.[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 10:20 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
Amy, I started to get defensive with him, but I kinda just diffused it. My mom read my reply and said, "Oh man, I bet he is humbled by that one!" I guess I did a good job with balancing owning it with not taking too much crap.

Goinstrong.....you are a good mommy! That was such a sweet thing for you to share. That's exactly what I'm trying to do is not say "I'm busy" but include them, especially my little one.

My friend buys stuff for everyone. Like I said, pretty unlimited funds. It does make me feel weird. She spends a lot of money on me too and I feel weird about it....like, sweatshirts just showed up for me, and these are really nice. I was like, "I don't remember giving her a check for those...." And I realized she bought them.

My daughter is happy to be home. We did her school project last night.

It's very hard getting sober, because everyone is so mad at you!!

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 11:04 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
Posts: 565
Location: in front of my laptop
[font=Comic Sans MS]Of course she is happy to be home!!!! She is with her mommy! No matter how much money some other woman spends on her, you are mommy and that is who she is always going to want! Glad that she is happy to be home and to hear that things are going better now.

You are right. It is so hard to get and stay clean and sober when everyone is mad at us. ESPECIALLY when they are mad. For me, it's harder because it causes me feelings that usually make me use. And I can't. That's where putting all of those tools you learned for coping, comes into play. I know that you have them. You just misplaced them for a little while. It happens to all of us. I know that you have a ton of knowledge Ladder. I've read it in your words before. Have you thought about going back and reading some of your old posts? I think that you may be surprised at just how intelligent you are. You have given some great advice to other members on this forum, and now it's time to take your own advice. Afterall, it's terrific advice! :wink:

Thanks for the update, and keep them coming. I check in on you everytime I log on. Plus it's good therapy to get it all out. Kinda like journaling. :)

Take care....[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 4:25 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
Goinstrong wrote:
[font=Comic Sans MS]Of course she is happy to be home!!!! She is with her mommy! No matter how much money some other woman spends on her, you are mommy and that is who she is always going to want! Glad that she is happy to be home and to hear that things are going better now.

You are right. It is so hard to get and stay clean and sober when everyone is mad at us. ESPECIALLY when they are mad. For me, it's harder because it causes me feelings that usually make me use. And I can't. That's where putting all of those tools you learned for coping, comes into play. I know that you have them. You just misplaced them for a little while. It happens to all of us. I know that you have a ton of knowledge Ladder. I've read it in your words before. Have you thought about going back and reading some of your old posts? I think that you may be surprised at just how intelligent you are. You have given some great advice to other members on this forum, and now it's time to take your own advice. Afterall, it's terrific advice! :wink:

Thanks for the update, and keep them coming. I check in on you everytime I log on. Plus it's good therapy to get it all out. Kinda like journaling. :)

Take care....[/font]


Yes, it is good to get it out. This is terrible. :( :(

I talked to the District Attorney's *secretary*, because of course, you never actually get to speak the the big boss head honcho....she was a hard type of 'lady' and didn't give me many details. They are going ahead with a child endangerment charge, which is a gross misdemeanor. They have 30 days from the time the report was filed to either issue a warrant or a summons. So....she said they could come out and arrest me. Question: do they give you a heads up so your kids don't have to see that? (Isn't this all about the kids, anyway?)

She said there is nothing I can do at this point, aside from writing a letter and turning that in to the D.A. I'll continue having my meetings signed off on. I doubt it could hurt......

This sucks. I wish we got do-overs in life. I'm upset, because my kids are coming back around. I cannot imagine what all this will put them through. Being arrested....court....lawyers....jail.....I mean, holy hell! I haven't even told them about it yet. I'm pretty sure it is more than they could handle at this point. I'm so overwhelmed that I don't really even feel anything at all, except at certain times when it comes raining out of me. I don't give a shit about sitting in jail for a year, if they want to burden the taxpayers with that.....but my kids will pay the price for it.

This just sucks. DON'T RELAPSE, PEOPLE!!! If you haven't gotten bitten yet by going out, it CAN HAPPEN!!! I wish I could change the laws or something to be more considerate of supporting recovery, instead of just punishing people who are sick and screwed up but are trying to make it better. My little girl wasn't harmed in any way. Nobody was harmed in any way physically. My children were harmed emotionally, yes, but how does me going to jail make that any better or help any fucking person at all? My husband isn't even living in the same state as me right now....who in the hell would take care of my kids?!!!

One thing I gotta give myself props for, though, is that I am one tough bitch. Everyone always said this and I never believed it until now. My brother-in-law stopped by to give me my keys and hung out for a little while, and he is obviously mad/disgusted/disappointed at/with/in me. I was taking my kid's XBOX apart, and I just kept on doing that am made pleasant conversation and looked him in the eye.....

I really am strong. I can walk on through this bullshit and pull everyone else up with me and hold my head up, even if I have to curse my mother fucking brains out to do it, even if I am tired as hell, and even if the whole damn world keeps falling down around me a little bit everyday. I WILL NOT let them beat me. I hate hate hate it when people talk down to me like this bitch on the phone. I guess she has NO PROBLEMS......congratulations dumb bitch. :D

laddertipper

:( :(

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:16 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
LT,

I think you need to contact a lawyer TODAY. You should be asking him all these questions because #1--he will know the answers and #2--he will have your best interests at heart. This "lady" you talked to on the phone obviously did not have your best interests at heart.

Also, I'll bet any lawyer you contact has a direct line to the DA. Your lawyer may be able to influence the DA?

A few months ago, I went with a friend from NA to court. He was charged with forging prescriptions. He had a lawyer. I was almost stunned to see how the folks there without lawyers were getting nailed left, right and center and he basically got off with a slap on the wrist. Get a lawyer.

Keep your head up!!

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:27 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
I have to agree with Romeo on this one. If they are saying they will press charges and are even saying they could come out to arrest you, I'd get myself a lawyer post haste. One thing a defense lawyer can probably do that you may not be able to do is arrange for you to turn yourself in and avoid them having to come and arrest you. And obviously that's damned important for the family to avoid such a scene.

Unfortunately, until charges are filed, you usually can't be assigned a court appointed defense attorney yet, so you'd have to get your own lawyer. And I think this is something you don't want to fuck around with. I say start doing some research and making calls tomorrow - if I were you, that is.

I don't mean to scare you or anything, it's just that any defendant without a lawyer representing him/her interests is probably not going to get a fair shake. I think of the people who were convicted for crimes they didn't commit when they had lawyers, but really shitty ones. A good lawyer will do his/her best and WILL act in your best interest.

I'm sorry to say this, because I'm sure the last thing you want to do is spend more money on any of this. But in this case, I'd definitely say it's worth it.

Hang tough, my friend, hang tough - and keep that strong, positive attitude. It will serve you well both now and in the future.

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Sep 20, 2012 5:55 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:59 pm
Posts: 993
Location: Carson City, Nevada
You guys are probably right. My sister is a defense attorney, thankfully. She has offered to give me advice on this.....yikes, what a mess! This is gonna be expensive.

laddertipper

_________________
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 100 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group