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PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 5:25 pm 
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I dont have too much to comment on but i hope you are doing okay prayers are with you[marq=right]


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 9:14 am 
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This fucking disease SUCKS!!! "not a disease"???? She called this a "choice"?? Who the hell would choose THIS?? Damn right this is a disease. The others have said everything much better than I could ever say it- I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry, and I'm thinking of you.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 4:53 pm 
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It is so awesome to see all the support on this forum!

I think getting over the shame of our past mistakes is so important. I actually feel relieved that people know im an addict. I have spent the last few years hiding it from people at work because i was so ashamed. Now its out in the open and i dont care. I am still ashamed that i have put my family in financial trouble because of my addiction. But now i am focusing on the positive and looking for a job. I am in a great out patient program and am learning so much.

Ladder, your friend had no right to gossip about you! Especially in front of your child! But one thing i have learned is that NOBODY can take away the love your child has for you. Your kids will see that you are doing better and forgive you.

Thanks everyone for your support and for supporting ladder. (its good to see lillyval again too!) This is a great place!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:00 pm 
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Laddertripper you are my number 1 biggest role model on this entire forum. You have the most willpower I have ever seen before in my entire life. You tapered to such a small amount and I think about you almost every day, even though we have never really talked. I was actually wondering about you recently because I had not seen many posts from you. Your story made me tear up especially at the texting part. I know you are smart enough to realize that the friend that texted you has her own issues and is not right. She shouldn't even be texting you anything even if she was mad. She's just trying to feel better about herself for some reason. I know that you have a lot to take in right now, but I just want you to know that the consequences of what happened do not have anything to do with your real self, inside. A lot of people makes choices every day that could have the potential to have just as large consequences as yours. It is all luck. I would list the risks I take and what I could lose every single day of my life but am paranoid about who watches these forums. I just want you to know that slipping up this time is not anything to feel shame for. It will be hard to not regret it because of what has happened as a result but you must remember that you should not regret it. You know the real you. You have a very powerful mind and are very smart, nice, and in touch with yourself. That is how you were able to taper down to such a low dose. You have a very strong connection between your mind and body. You can communicate to your body with what you want and you go do it. I will always remember you for your incredible mindpower and your taper. Please remember, that you have helped so many people on this forum and that you will always have a place in so many people's hearts here, including mine, and I will always look up to you. I don't ever want anything to happen to you.


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 Post subject: Checking in again....
PostPosted: Sat Sep 15, 2012 10:35 pm 
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I don't have a lot of time. I don't know what is keeping me so busy, but I'm okay. This is my fourth day of no alcohol. The neurontin is making me tired, so I'm sleeping about 10 hours a night, but I think I'm adjusting.


I will come back on here later and respond to every wonderful response I got. I was reading some of them to my mom and she was so amazed. It is amazing the kind of help we provide each other with on here.

Today is easier, although it's also harder. My son came home and he was SO MAD. He is still so mad, but we have to work on that slowly. The toughest thing is that now I have no credibility, so even when I'm being honest, no one believes what I say. There are a lot of rumors flying around my town and my kids are right in the crosshairs. They are hearing stuff that isn't true and that is true and they believe everyone else over me. It will be bad on Monday, especially for my daughter. My former dear friend texted me one last time to say that I am a bad person and has told her daughters that I am a very bad person and that people like me don't change....furthermore, they are to not gossip about me and are to be kind to my daughter. Her daughters are two of my daughter's best friends, and they will gossip. They are kids. They are in the same class. I don't think it was appropriate to involve her kids, but hey.....what can I do? She is also my son's basketball coach and will be my youngest daughter's cheer coach next year. I cannot avoid her, but I don't have to speak to her, nor her to me. There is more to this whole thing but I can fill it in later, if it even matters.

The deputy did not call me back today. Really disappointed in that, but I will call him Monday. There's nobody there to patch me through on the weekends, and he's the kind of officer that goes places....there's a term for it. I went back to meetings today...or I should say A meeting. This was my first one in years and I was so anxious, but once I talked, it all came out. A lot of wonderful people offered me their words of hope afterward. This CHANGED MY PERSPECTIVE. I needed to go and once I went, twenty pounds lifted off me and I was suddenly starving.

Now I just have to focus on my bubble, where all that matters is my kids, my husband....and (first and foremost) my recovery. It's almost a better day now that I realize this, because life is much simpler. I have no friends to speak of, except my best friend back in CA and my mom. Oh, and my dog. I think my husband is not serving me with papers for the time being. That's at least one less thing to worry about. Gotta keep going. I cannot WAIT to go to another meeting tomorrow. I'd live at them right now if there were more around here.

Thank you guys! I'm struggling so much and my life is a mess in every way, but I'm alive.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 4:04 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey there Ladder, I am glad to hear that you are at least feeling a little bit better. I know that this is so hard on you. I do. It is o important that you are staying as busy as you are right now. I am hoping that you make some new friends at the meetings you are going to. Maybe they can start coming with you to your sons and daughters practices. Just for some back up.

I don't know what to say about your friend, except that she has some serious issues of her own. I think it was Rule that said it, that she is taking out all the anger that she holds towards her husband, and taking it out on you. And that is the truth. As far as your children go, and her talking to them about you, that is where I personally would have to draw the line. That is just tastelsess and so wrong on so many levels. How would she like it if someone told her kids that she was a bad person? She wouldn't.

You are not a bad person at all ladder. You have such a huge heart and care about people genuinely. Those people don't come around often. The loss is your friends, not yours. She is so highly uneducated about this disease, and it screams loud and clear in her texts to you. Even the dumbest of people that I know, know better than to say that this is a choice. Who in their right fucking mind would choose this as a way of life???? She is just so angry right now. When she does come down, and she will, I fear that she will have done to much damage to you, for you to even want her in your life again. But that will all work itself out later. Your focus right now is exactly where it should be.

Can I offer a suggestion? Just think about it, maybe talk to your mom about it. What about putting your children in counseling. With someone who is highly educated about addiction. Not only will they learn to express their anger in a healthy way, but they can also gain some knowledge about this disease. They can hear it from someone that actually knows, that this IS a disease, and that it DOES NOT make you a bad person, or a bad mother. What they could gain from this going into the real world, is priceless. We all hope that out children have a better life then we do, and give them more than we ever had. But to give them the gift of open mindedness, and knowledge that people are all different, and have their different ailments, and then to teach them how to treat those people....that would give them such an advantage when they are adults. Not to mention that there is always the possibility that they, God forbid, could end up with this disease. I know you don't like to think about it, but I know that it has to have crossed your mind. If they have the proper information, and not some shitty gossip from a scorned friend, their odds are much greater that they will choose a different path.

I don't know, it's just a thought. If nothing else, it's a safe place for them to vent, free of judgement and public eye.

I hope that you are ok Ladder. Eventually this is all going to be history and you are going to be able to look back on it, and see what you've learned from it. It is so scary now, I know this first hand. But where I am at now, after having been where you are, it seems like that was a lifetime ago. I am here for you. I said it before, and I meant it when I said it, PM me if you want or need someone who will listen and answer questions. Someone who understands exactly where you're at, and someone to just vent to. I do care.
This is a great forum and I am so relieved that you got the support that you need. Keep your head up....you're gonna make it![/font]

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 Post subject: God help me
PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:04 pm 
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Yup, I'm at the bottom of the bottom. I am a mess.

My daughter (10) still won't come home and my husband and friend think she should stay there until I get more stable. She is staying at my friend's house, whose daughter is my daughter's best friend. But I feel like not seeing her is going to make her keep hating me more and more. I haven't seen her in a week....she won't text me or call. I waited up last night for her to text me or call, because she was supposed to, but there is always a reason she can't, like she doesn't have her phone, it's dead, she's asleep, etc. She is texting and calling my husband. I feel like she has written me off and will never want me to be her mom again.

I hate myself right now. I wish I could move into a meetings permanently.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 6:40 pm 
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Hey there Ladder, I don't mean to cross a line here, but you are the parent. Not your 10 year old. She is going to feed off of your husband and your friend babying her. And she is NOT a baby. You are her mother and you need to speak to her one on one, and face to face. This distance between you is putting more space between you. She has to learn now that you don't run from problems. You talk them out. Especially with family. She has a right to be upset, but not to go on vacation. She can be upset at home. You can't begin to repair this if she isn't there. I know personally what the bond is between a mother and a daughter. You NEED to see her. For your own sake and for hers. Just think about it. But if this were me, I'd have her home now. Enough is enough. Your husband needs to get on the parents team. And start calling the shots WITH you. She is ONLY 10. This shouldn't be up to her. When I was 10, I hated my father because he was an alcoholic. My mom told me that when I was 18, if I didn't want to see him, then I could decide. But until then, I'm seeing him whether I like it or not. And I'm glad I did...

I mean this all in a very warm and compassionate way. If this isn't an option, then I'm so sorry...I think it NEEDS to happen tho...I can feel your pain...

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 16, 2012 7:30 pm 
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Ladder - with all due respect, I was going to say essentially the same thing that Goinstrong said. She is the child and you are the parent, no matter what you did wrong, those roles do not change. Period. She needs to understand that manipulating and punishing you are not OK ways to deal with things in life that upset her. Because that's basically what people are doing to you. I know you feel like shit, but you have an opportunity here to teach your daughter that it's possible to deal with one's own challenges up front with honesty respect, support, love, and dignity. That's exactly what you are doing. It won't be easy, I know, but I, again, like Goinstrong said, think it's gotta be done.

Good luck to you. Remember, we're here for you.

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 Post subject: You guys are right
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 12:14 am 
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After everything that happened this evening, I can see that you guys are absolutely right on.

I went to another meeting, after learning she wasn't coming home. Felt very pumped and confident afterward, like if I just stay the course, I will win in the end. My kids will come around.

My daughter came to pick up clothes and I hugged her tons. My friend bought her a new temperpedic bed for sleeping there......new hightops....new cheer shoes. This is because she is a generous person, but I need my daughter back home.

My husband texted me, asking how I got from the hospital back to my sister's apartment on Tuesday. I already told him the whole story of taking the bus.....anyway, it's on my record and my mom had a hissy at them after I went back into the hospital, because she felt they should have released me to a person.

Anyway, long story short, my husband drinks. No, not as much as my binge drinking, but enough that I'm afraid when he texts me or call me at night, because he is not the same person. (He is working & living in CA right now). I had a lot of important stuff to talk to him about, but he was stuck on this bus ride. He ended up calling me & saying he was nodding out but something occurred to him and he was accusing me of fucking the security guard (!?!?!?) on my way from the hospital to the time I got into my sister's apartment....Not sure whether to laugh or....I guess he was saying the security guard drove me? IDK...the guard is his friend. He should just call him!

Anyway, so I told him that he was nodding out anyway, this is all in my hospital records, and I would talk to him tomorrow. I hung up. He calls back saying "Don't you effing ever hang up on me...you effing this....you effing that...." I told him very calmly (because I am not a yeller) that nobody may speak like this to me anymore. He told me I don't deserve anything effing better, etc. He ended up hanging up on me. Texted me a couple times later, but I didn't read them....only saw enough to see he will be taking me down, etc. My mom told me to shut my phone off. She sees the crap....

This is what I've been living with. He has no record, no DUIs, nothing....but he drinks too and he drinks every night and he CHANGES and NOT for the better. He drank every night of the six years I was sober. And he's always put out there that I am such a piece of SHIT. But I AM NOT!!!

I'm having my daughter come home tomorrow, and I'm stepping up to be her mom. My husband is maybe trying to throw a wedge in there, and I won't let him. I feel like whenever I'm down, he loves to kick and kick me. I've been in this since 18 and I'm 34. I may lose it all, but I will get it back and I met a defense attorney at my meeting tonight.

Peace out, friends.

Meetings DO work for some of us. I know if I didn't go today, I'd be a complete crazy wreck right now, and I'm going to sleep.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 3:50 am 
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Laddertipper, I only saw this thread tonight and I can't tell you how sorry I am for all that's happened in the last couple of weeks. I'm so glad that you're going back to meetings and that they are helping you so much.

I am appalled by the way your "friend" is acting. Even though you deceived her by not telling her about your alcoholism, that's partially her fault. She never gave you a safe space to tell her, so from the get-go she was not behaving the way a true friend behaves. Her reaction says so much more about her than about you. She has allowed her anger and bitterness toward her husband to poison her mind about alcoholism and addiction. If his alcoholism and alcoholic behavior is his choice, then she doesn't have to look at her own behavior to see how she is contributing to problems in her relationship. She gets to be the victim of her husband's choice to do this to her. I'm sure she is just as addicted to being the victim as he is to alcohol. Friends don't go away when your world crumbles. Friends are part of your foundation and part of the rebuilding process.

Your husband sounds like he is every bit the alcoholic that you are. The fact that you made a mistake doesn't give him the right to beat you up over it! And why would he want to? That is not love! It's one thing to hold you accountable, but to try to disrupt your relationship with your children? That is disrespectful and incredibly immature. It also means that he is putting his feelings and motivations before the well being of his children. I know that you've been with him a long time, but are you willing to put more time into a relationship that is not about love? It sounds like you are in recovery despite him, not because of the barest amount of support from him. It's not right that you are on your own in this battle against addiction. You should be able to count on him and instead you have to guard against him.

I wish I had a soothing balm to take away your trouble and pain. I wish I lived in your town so I could be at your side as you fight to regain your life. In fact, I wish that a whole gang of us could show up and show your town that you are loved and respected. That you are a very important part of our group. I'd also make sure I told your "friend" exactly what I think of her! I have no idea if you believe in God, but I don't even know if that matters, because I think that God believes in you. And you can't do anything so awful that God would turn away from you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers because that's one thing I can do from this distance.

Please don't despair. And please try to take good care of yourself. You are a valued and loved member of this community and that's not going to change because you screwed up. I would be proud to introduce you as my friend!

Amy

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 Post subject: I can relate!
PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 5:56 am 
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Ladder,

I can TOTALLY relate to your situation with your husband.

My husband is also a daily drinker who has amazingly never got a DUI, lost a job, etc...His personality also changes after a few beers. He gets a bit angrier, louder, emotional, and forgetful. He admits he is an alcholic but since it "doesn't cause problems" so that its okay. Also "alcohol is legal so its ok."

After my May relapse that resulted in me being suspended from my job, I thought for sure he would want a divorce. We have been together 20 years and we have been through alot. I told him I understood if he wanted me to leave. I have fucked up alot over the years. He said he loves me and that we could work it out. Well about once a week he pickes a drunk fight with me.

He gets mad and starts bringing up all the bad shit I have done over the years. Likes to tell me all the shit he had to do to clean up after my fuck ups. Tells me nobody will take me in so I should be greatful I even have a roof over my head. Says that even the kids think Im a piece of shit...bla...bla....bla.

I usually just sit there and take it. I have fucked up alot. But Friday it happend again and I decided I'm DONE listening to it.

I told him that I am a valuable person who is currently getting treatment for an addiction problem and a don't deserve to be treated worse than a dog. I told him I would gladly leave with nothing but my clothes and go to a homeless shelter where I would be in a more healthy enviroment. I told him his CURRENT drinking IS causing problems in our relationship just like my PAST drug use has. And that he needs counseling for alcohol and anger.

Im done saying sorry about the past. I want to look to the future now. At this point Im looking into marrage counseling.

Sorry this got so long! Your story about your husband just hit a nerve I guess....

Be strong ladder! Go get your daughter and keep up with your meetings/recovery. We are all valuable and should not be made to feel unworthy.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 6:30 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hi again....your husband sounds EXACTLY like my youngest daughters dad. Only difference is, I know how to handle him now. At the time he scared the shit out of me with his threats of taking my daughter, and I did anything he asked. In the end, he took her anyway. I have so much advice for you and so many things to tell you that you need to be doing to protect yourself. I had no clue at the time because I was so distraught over my circumstances. You need to be taking steps to protect your self from this bastard NOW.

If you are interested, PM me. I really really want to help you. But only if you want my help. I certainly am not going to impose my thoughts on you. Just know that I AM here for you. I meant that with everything I have. I feel in some small way, that I can sort of make up for Kylie, by helping you.

This asshole kept records of everything that I did. He took pictures, he took video, he reported to the authorities, just to have a paper trail. He built a case against me for two years, but never offered to get me help. He drank and popped pills, and smoked pot right next to me. All the while recording me getting high and all...and I had no clue he was doing it. Ladder, let me help you.....this could get so bad for you. Not that it isn't already. But there are so so so many things that you could be doing right now to protect you and your rights to your daughter. Men like that aren't interested in your daughters best interests. They are interested in hurting us no matter what the price. In my case, the cost was my daughters mother. She doesn't have me anymore and she has no idea why. She was just 2. Anyway, I'm here if you want..... Let's beat this together![/font]

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 7:44 am 
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Ladder, I can hear the strength building in your words and that's wonderful. I just wanted to tell you that I'm so happy that you have meetings available for you to take advantage of. Keep up the good work and know you have people who care about you. You are getting stronger every day and you will get through this. ((((HUGS))))

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 8:36 am 
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Wow ladder, I had no idea that your husband had been drinking throughout your 6 years of sobriety. That must have been incredibly difficult for you, especially when you were going off the Suboxone. You are a very strong woman and it sounds like you are making good decisions for yourself. I can't offer you many words do wisdom as I'm 4 days cold turkey off of 4mg Suboxone (unplanned). But I just wanted you to know you have my complete support no matter what.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 10:02 am 
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LT,

You have so much going on right now and it has got to be so incredibly hard to deal with. I can't even imagine how confused and jumbled a lot of your thoughts must be right now. I wanted to take this opportunity to suggest that you lean on your mother heavily to help you in your decision making with this whole mess. I certainly don't mean to insult you, but your decision making probably isn't at its best right now, take advantage of your mom's wisdom and love.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 17, 2012 11:07 pm 
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Hey Ladder, just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you. You must be going through hell right now, but hopefully as a little time passes everyone around you will calm down, stop being so reactive and start figuring out how to be supportive as you deal with the fallout. Until then, I think you are right to focus on your "bubble" and just deal with things in order of importance.

I know you are really worried about your kids, and I also know from reading your posts around here what a caring and devoted mom you are. My dad was an alcoholic, and the best thing my mom ever did for my and my siblings' relationship with him was to make counseling and alanon available to us. Kids can forgive a LOT and they are really resilient, but giving them a framework for understanding addiction and how if impacts the whole family, in terms that are age-appropriate, is so helpful.

Keep on taking care of yourself and try to be around supportive people as much as you can. This is a fragile time and you need all the love in the universe to make it through. You have shown time and again on the forum what a compassionate person you are, so try to give a little of that back to yourself right now.

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 Post subject: Pretty good day
PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 12:58 am 
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Today was not bad at all! It's getting better.

Let's see....let my husband know clearly that he may never, ever speak like that to me, nor may anyone else, and I am just going to keep doing the right stuff, and whatever else happens or what he does is up to him. He was shocked. Holy moly. He couldn't believe it. I was very calm and nice, yet super firm. He took me quite seriously.

Went to a noon meeting. Really nice people! I swear that alcoholics and addicts are the best people in the world.

My sister came back from her honeymoon and hung out with me a lot today. She says she wants to back off the drinking too now. She doesn't want to stop, but she wants to slow it down, because she thinks if she was a stay at home mom like me, she'd do what I've done. She took me to run some errands.

Spent about 1.5 hours trying to figure out my son's math homework, as I totally forget algebra!

Came home and walked the dog, played with my little girl, fixed a good dinner, and went to a later meeting. The meeting room was dark and nobody was there, as there was a funeral for one of the members who had passed. So, I crashed an Al-Anon meeting next door, which was quite an eye opener. They were happy to have me there and I think I shared about ten times. I also realized that yes, I am married to an alcoholic.

I'm having less anxiety and heart palpitations. Going to meetings helps me soooo much that it's nuts. Maybe it's because I used to go so it feels familiar. I'm not sure. When I went to my first one last week, I was so anxious that I thought I'd pass out. Today, I feel way more calm. I'm not biting my nails and playing with my water bottle all the time. Just sitting still! Maybe I'll be able to have a cup of coffee soon...I always share. I always know what to say once I start talking, and out here they mostly do the tag things, so you never know if you will get tagged. Guess what? I've been tagged at every AA meeting, which is a good thing. I got a new Big Book today with all the phone numbers in it. Just feels good to be around my normal people again, lol.

My daughter comes home tomorrow. I'm a little nervous but not too bad. Also have my neurologist appointment tomorrow. The Neuronton isn't messing with me as much. My only beef is that it makes my eyes so blurry. Hatmaker, when is this going to go away? I can't see my computer screen without blinking a bunch of times.

Oh, I spoke with that deputy and it's out of his hands now, because it's been sent to the D.A. Still, I apologized to him for how I acted and explained my problems, etc. He said if I go meet with the D.A. and explain all that and that I'm getting help, etc., they may just drop the criminal charges. He couldn't promise, but he made me feel more hopeful and he seemed to appreciate hearing that I was trying to get better. He said a lot of sheriff's struggle with the same thing and it's okay...just don't quit working on your recovery ever.

I don't know why I'm so busy lately. My mom is here and my little girl and the puppy are eating up all the extra time. My mom is working full time here around my meeting schedule.

Update soon....I love you guys! And if you fall off your wagon, I urge you to just get right the hell back on ASAP.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 7:00 am 
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[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey there girl! It sounds like your frame of mind is getting a lot better. That is great to hear. I think that if you keep on doing what you are doing, then you are going to be fine.

I am proud of you for putting your foot down with him. Noone has the right to talk to you the way that he does. Noone. It took me a while to realize that, and have the courage to stand up for myself. I, for the most part, avoid confrontation. Unless someone is just being picked on. Then I usually jump in. But if you stand firm in this, then it will set the standard for how he treats you from this point forward. I also think that you need to put your foot down with this "friend" of yours that sent the god awful ignorant text to you. Maybe not right now. But at some point. The best revenge for you is to succeed. Prove em all wrong. They'll have nothing left totalk about. I lived in a teeny tiny town in the south for 12 years, and boy was it rough. Ther was no such thing as privacy. Everyone knew everything about everyone. Me, being a private person, didn't take to wellto that. I hate gossip. But you sound like you are handling everything with grace. Good for you.

I would cling tight to those people that you have met in AA. They would never judge you or turn their backs on you because of is. They have been there or done worse, so keep going back. It sounds like it's doing you some good.

Keep checking back in, and let us know how you are doing. Even when you have bad days. We can help you through those.
Take care![/font]

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"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
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PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2012 9:27 am 
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Goinstrong wrote:
[font=Comic Sans MS]Hey there girl! It sounds like your frame of mind is getting a lot better. That is great to hear. I think that if you keep on doing what you are doing, then you are going to be fine.

I am proud of you for putting your foot down with him. Noone has the right to talk to you the way that he does. Noone. It took me a while to realize that, and have the courage to stand up for myself. I, for the most part, avoid confrontation. Unless someone is just being picked on. Then I usually jump in. But if you stand firm in this, then it will set the standard for how he treats you from this point forward. I also think that you need to put your foot down with this "friend" of yours that sent the god awful ignorant text to you. Maybe not right now. But at some point. The best revenge for you is to succeed. Prove em all wrong. They'll have nothing left totalk about. I lived in a teeny tiny town in the south for 12 years, and boy was it rough. Ther was no such thing as privacy. Everyone knew everything about everyone. Me, being a private person, didn't take to wellto that. I hate gossip. But you sound like you are handling everything with grace. Good for you.

I would cling tight to those people that you have met in AA. They would never judge you or turn their backs on you because of is. They have been there or done worse, so keep going back. It sounds like it's doing you some good.

Keep checking back in, and let us know how you are doing. Even when you have bad days. We can help you through those.
Take care![/font]


Yeah, I've become a confrontation person and I don't like it. That probably contributed to all this, because it's a good way to carry around a lot of negativity.

You know, I am fine never talking that that friend again. I wasn't at first, but I have to drive by (or be driven by) her house many times a day and I was always looking over there to see if she was out. I finally quit doing this. My sister saw her yesterday outside and pointed it out and I was like, "yup, that is her." But I've got way more important fish to fry.

You are also right that some of the people in AA have done have been there or done worse, and that makes me feel better, because I see where they are now. And now, other people are looking to me and saying "Oh man, I don't want to go out and end up where she is!" LOL!

I will let you guys know how my reunion with my daughter goes.

Goinstrong, thanks so much.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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