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 Post subject: Made my appointment..
PostPosted: Mon Sep 13, 2010 10:44 pm 
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I called this morning to make an appointment to a Suboxone facility. I was discouraged that the earliest they could see me was Oct. 18th. Even MORE discouraged that they had to see me Mon,Tues,Wed, and they'd would give me the Suboxone on Thursday. It's two hours away, and I have to find a ride. Did anyone else have to be evaluated for 4 days in a row before the Suboxone ?
I have to admit, I got off the phone and said, F&*K it. I wanted to get the Suboxone in my system so I wouldn't be tempted to call my doctor for another refill, or get some from my neighbors.
I don't know. It sucks. I've kinda lost my excitement I had for it all weekend.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 12:08 am 
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Blue,

I am sorry you are experiencing this. I have never heard of being evaluated for 4 days, especially not when you have to drive 2 hours in order to get there. If it were me, I would probably call them back and make sure they understand how far away you are, and I would ask them what the agenda is for each of those days so you at least know what to expect. I would also ask the office staff about the program requirements such as UA's, meeting requirements, counseling requirements, etc. etc. etc. I would ask them why there is a 4 day wait for the suboxone and how long the suboxone program generally lasts. I might ask to get on a wait list and tell them (if possible) that you would be willing to come out on short notice if they call you (minus the 2 hour drive). If you are driving 2 hours then I suspect that you must live in a more remote area or aren't near a big city. Is there anyone else that you can call for an appointment?

In my opinion, first and foremost it is important to get into the program and get the suboxone. The second most important thing is to try like crazy to find a doctor that will work for you. It has to be a good match. For example, I won't go to meetings and cannot have a doctor that requires that. I would like to have a doctor that takes insurance, but I would have to drive another 30 miles to get that and it isn't worth it so I forfeit that. Might you be willing to drive an extra hour to get to the doctor if the requirements were less? If you didn't have to wait so long? Go 4 days in a row? It might be something to consider. New doctors are signing on all the time so it would likely be temporary (one year or so before finding someone closer that works with you).

My guess is that this doctor likes to actually induct you in the office. He/she probably wants you back the next day to observe a little and see how you are doing. They will probably want to find the right dose. HOWEVER, this seems a bit over the top in my opinion. It seems like either the doctor is extremely controlling and is taking advantage of the fact that people don't have much choice when they are in this position so they will abide by these ridiculous rules. They don't do this when they put people on pain killers the first time so why suboxone? It could be something else, but the fact that there are no accommodations for people who live that far away suggests something isn't quite right. I could understand it better if the doctor wanted to monitor you ON the sub for the first 4 days, but to ask patients to drive 2 hours to their office (high no less) for 4 days in a row (and on the 4th day in total withdrawal) is not only dangerous but cruel. I could go on....

I am sorry this is such a bad experience. I can empathize a little. As soon as I learned of suboxone I was beyond ready to try it. Every place I called had these huge waiting lists. Then, when I finally found a doctor who could see me that week, I was so ready to NEVER take a pain killer ever ever again. But then I went there and sat in the waiting room for hours and after the 4th hour I was told that he had to go to the doctor himself and he couldn't see me that day. So I had to scramble and find some pain killers at the last minute to hold me over one more day. It felt like it took forever.

Sorry this is so long. I do hope you can hang in there. It is well worth the wait and you will just appreciate it that much more once it finally happens.

Take care!
Cherie

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 7:13 am 
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I agree with everything Jackcrack said. It's worth the effort, so I'd get check out the doctor locators online and start making some more phone calls to other sub doctors. Please hang in there, you'll be happy that you did - I can't stress enough how much better your life will be if you make every effort and get on suboxone. Good luck and please keep us posted.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 8:40 am 
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That's definitely a bummer. Two hours away and you have to go back three days in a row?

Let me ask you a simple question:
If your <insert substance you're addicted to here> was two hours away and you had to go there three days in a row to get it, would you do it?

See what I'm saying?

I know for myself, I would do whatever it took to get my drugs. I drove all over creation to get and use more drugs. So, when the time came to address my problem, I decided that I was going to bring that same single-minded intensity to staying clean. So I do what it takes.

Now, with that said, I would suggest you try to find a different doctor, but why not get started with this doctor? This way, you can stem the tide of your addiction, get yourself stable on suboxone, then deal with finding a new, closer doctor while actually of a clearer mind.

Good luck to you!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:33 am 
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WOW that sucks sorry to hear that some docs do have long waiting list but oct 18 thats long ways away there is lots of doc out there keep trying. And its like junkie781 said how fair would you go to get high so hang in there be strong you can do this.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 9:56 am 
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Jack,
I'm already withdrawing. I ran out of Percocets 4 days ago, and just said, "hell with it". Will Suboxone even work when I'm a month + sober ? I mean, I can't get the craving out of my head. And I don't think it will be much different a month from now. Will a doc say I'm "too sober" for it to work ??
I will wait for my first appointment to tell the doc that coming in 4 days in a row will be difficult. My father will be my ride during all this, so maybe having my father sit in on the initial evaluation (although I don't want him to hear SOME things) will persuade the doc to cut the visits down. I don't know.
Thanks, everyone !


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:01 am 
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Regardless of how long it's been since you used, the doctor should still be able to put you on subs. It's not that unusual to be induced after one's acute w/d have passed - several people on this forum have done just that. I'm just sorry you have to deal with such cravings for a whole month before you can get in. Did you ask them to put you on a cancellation list? You never know when you might be able to get in. Hang in there. We're here to support you.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 11:37 am 
I agree with everything everyone has already said, especially JackCrack. I think it's important to put another call in to this office and find out exactly what this program entails. What if they require weekly appointments, individual therapy or an outpatient therapy program through a specific facility which will involve many more appointmenst, a lot more time and a lot more money? Is that something you would be willing or able to do?
Some of the programs out there, just from what I've read around here, are way over the top, in my opinion. Four days in a row just to get started sounds pretty out there to me. Really, all it takes to get started in many clinics, is a quick history and physical evaluation and that's it. I've heard of some of these doctors requiring a complete medical and/or psychological evaluation/clearance to start, which I suppose would be necessary in a few cases, but for most of us it's overkill. All this stuff can add up to big dollars, especially when there's no insurance coverage for it.
Anyway, I just wanted to reinforce what JackCrack said.....You are perfectly entitled to ask all the questions she suggested and I would definitely do it.
Maybe there really are no other options for prescribers anywhere near you and if that's the case, do whatever it takes to see these people and get started. Otherwise....get on the phone and start calling around to see if there is anyone else you can get in with.
As far as being able to start even if you're long past the acute withdrawal.....as Hatmaker said, the answer should be "yes." Another good question to ask when you call them back to ask the other questions, just to be sure.
I'm real sorry this has worked out this way for you. I know the exact misery you've been in for the past few days and I know the misery you'll be in over the coming month while waiting, unless you go ahead and obtain something else to hold you over. I wish I could say that obsession to use fades in week or two and maybe for you it will. However, it did not for me and does not for a lot of people. That's one of the beautiful things about Suboxone....it will take almost all of that away. That alone is worth an awful lot! Hang in there blue!


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 11:58 am 
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You guys are awesome. Thanks so much. I called today to see if it was REALLY neccessary to go 4 days in a row. She said it was. But she mentioned that I might get the Suboxone on the 3rd day.
I'm really stuck because this place takes my insurance. And being disabled on S.S., I can't afford any other options. So, I'll wait it out. Can't say what I'll do if someone knocks on my door with a handfull, but I'll try to be strong.
Thank you !


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 1:10 pm 
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oops !! also forgot to mention that they told me that it doesn't matter how long you've been off it. The Suboxone is so you don't go BACK to it.
Here's the place I'm going:
http://totalwellnesscenters.org/default.htm


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 6:58 pm 
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I have to agree with you, blue, that since they take your insurance, you're probably best to just wait it out. And who knows, maybe they'll have a cancellation. So many doctors - the majority it seems - only take cash, so take advantage of that. Good luck and hang in there. If you need to talk during the interim, we're here.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:17 pm 
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Guys, I'm ashamed to tell you that a friend gave me 15 10mg Vicodin. Instead of spacing them out, I devoured them. I'm so weak. I can't until my appointment and start the Suboxone treatment.
I'm sorry, everyone. I feel like such a loser after all your encouragement


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:45 pm 
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Oops !! Meant to write: I can't WAIT for my appointment


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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 10:58 pm 
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Sounds like your a perfect fit for suboxone. Don't be too hard on your self, I would have never made it a month waiting, just be careful. I went a little nuts when I knew my wife got me into an inpatient program, I was taking twice as much as I had been but I only had to wait a few days. That's why I say be careful, I always got a little reckless when I knew my using was coming to an end. You'd hate to OD or get arrested when you've got a solution 30 days away. Good luck to you.

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PostPosted: Tue Sep 14, 2010 11:04 pm 
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Blue,

Well first off you are not a total loser. You are already taking the necessary steps to line yourself up for suboxone treatment which is awesome. If you were ABLE to stop with willpower alone there would be no need for suboxone. I wouldn't expect yourself to quit entirely without any assistance and with no program or anything lined up. If it was me I would try to pat myself on the back for making the phone calls and trying to do the right thing for my health. The ultimate goal is to keep the appointment (and I agree since this place will take your insurance that this might be best but I will still call around for something sooner and ask to be on a cancellation list......sub patients cancel or no show all the time). One step at a time. First things first. Take it easy. hahaha. All those 12-step slogans but they apply right now. Plus...even after the physical withdrawal fades it is hard to remain opiate free so don't beat yourself up if this happens again prior to your appointment. What is another month going to hurt so long as you don't decide that now is not the time to do this? I just hope you will keep coming back here for support until your appointment and I REALLY hope you feel comfortable enough disclosing these little "slip ups" which I don't really see as that anyways. Who wouldn't cave in and take something to make them feel better when they are totally miserable? I can't live an entire month like that without some kind of help or comfort meds at the least. Have you considered some comfort meds while you wait for your appointment? That might help you relax a little.

Side note: I wouldn't have driven 2 hours to get opiates. I wasn't willing to drive more than about 20 minutes max and that generally included there and back. I think I am a lazy drug addict :-)

Hang in there. Hope you feel better soon.

Cherie

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 7:37 am 
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I agree with the others, please don't beat yourself up. If I were in your shoes I would've done the exact same thing you did. You're in a really tough spot. But please heed Smoothy's warning and BE CAREFUL.

I'm impressed as hell that you swallowed your pride and told us what happened. That tells me that regardless of anything your impending recovery is important to you. It's great that you found this place and can use this valuable support system. Try to take things one day at a time (more cheesy slogans, and I'm not even a 12-stepper) and you'll make it thru this next month.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 15, 2010 11:09 am 
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blue wrote:
Guys, I'm ashamed to tell you that a friend gave me 15 10mg Vicodin. Instead of spacing them out, I devoured them. I'm so weak. I can't until my appointment and start the Suboxone treatment.
I'm sorry, everyone. I feel like such a loser after all your encouragement


Would you apologize to us if you were a diabetic and accidentally ate something that threw you into shock?

You have just suffered one of the most raging symptoms of your illness: compulsive use of drugs. It's NOT a morality issue. You're not a bad person. You have an incurable illness that manifests itself with several different symptoms including the obsession and compulsion to use drugs, even when you don't want to. It's not something you apologize for. It's something you get treatment for.

I don't mean to come off brash with you. That's not my intent, but the sooner you start to accept your illness for what it is, and stop beating yourself up about it, the better off you will be.

Try to hang in there and trust in the fact that once you get the treatment for this illness (Suboxone) you will very likely stop experiencing the obsession/compulsion symptom, which will afford you the opportunity to work on the other symptoms, which are, for the most part, behavioral.

Hang in there, man. You're going to be OK. :D


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 18, 2010 7:17 pm 
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Hi Blue. I am in Australia and here we have to go through a government program to get suboxone or methadone, a doctor can't prescribe it for addiction treatment(not sure about pain) Anyway I also had to wait a month to get into the program but because I had been honest with my doctor (he is very sympathetic) about my addiction he gave me a p/s for codeine at the same dose I had been taking it through over the counter meds so that I had the drug I needed without all the ibprophen as well, this was strictly monitored.
My point is that until you get on suboxone you can not expect your body to be able to cope without it's drug of choice unless you are able to put up with all the pain and cravings, very few of us are. That's why we take suboxone!
I certainly couldn't have done it. Give yourself a break!
Soon you will be able to live life without the guilt and preoccupation of seeking out your 'drugs'. Focus on that and get through the best way you can until your appointment.
Be careful, as others have said you dont want to miss out on this opportunity.
Life can and will be good again.


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 19, 2010 7:19 pm 
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Dear Blue.

I was in ICU for over one month for an unrelated illness in Feb 09, and then I ended up in the BSU for two weeks. I tried to hang myself in ICU because they would not give me any pain meds and I was so sick, and miserable from w/d that I thought that it would be much easier to die. The only reason I am still here is because the rope that I used broke, and I fell to the floor with a crash. Trust me, the ICU staff was not impressed.

About a month after I got home from that I started intensive outpatient treatment for opiate dependence. I was just miserable and had severe cravings 24/7. I had never bought any drugs on the street so I did not know how, or I am sure I would have done so. My counselor suggested Suboxone and I made an appt with the closest MD. I had to wait three weeks and the office is 1.5 hours away. I was completely miserable the whole time from February until the end of June when I had my appt. I felt like, if I have to live like this, then I just want to die. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. Nothing mattered to me. I was obsessed with thinking about getting some opiates, but I had no way to do so.

When I finally got to my appt, I was given the rx. for Suboxone and went straight to the pharmacy in the town where the MD was and had it filled. By the time I arrived back home, I felt absolutely normal. I hadn't felt that was since the 1980s!

I have a lot of health issues, but aside from that, this past year has been the most glorious year of my life, since I can remember. The obsession is gone. The cravings are gone. My mind is clear. I feel normal. I act normal. I look forward to getting out of bed in the morning.

I know it seems like forever from now until your appointment but if you can stick it out I assure you it will be beyond worth it! In the meantime, take one day at a time, and know that there are those here who have gone through this and understand exactly what you are feeling. This is just my opinion, but the less dope you have in your system when you start taking the Sub, the more dramatic feeling you will have from it when you do take it. At least that is the way it was for me!

Hang in there,
~Rossma


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