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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 10:51 am 
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Hello all. I have been wanting to post on these sites but I have just been reading stories on here for a few years every once in a while, but I finally decided to join. I have been taking suboxone for 6 years, only was dabbling with opiates for about 2 years. I have been through hell with doctors. Currently, I just moved back to my home state, and was living in PA for work and had an awesome doc out there. He was able to taper me off klonopin which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. He also tapered me down on subs to 8mg once a day. Now, I have been seeing a new doc in MD since I moved back. He upped me on subs back to 8mg twice a day when I told him I only needed it once a day. He also prescribed me klonopin .5mg twice a day. I have been taking klonopin only because I do have severe anxiety but I try not to take it everyday, and I only take pieces, but I pretty much have been taking it everyday. It's only been a week and a half but do you think I will wd from klonopin again if I just stop, because I feel so guilty. Also, I have been taking the dose my new doc prescribed for subs like an idiot. I don't know why I allowed myself to go back up to 16mg. If I just jump down to 6mg, like I was planning to do, will you think I will go through wd's? I have a one year old child that really takes a lot of my energy and I just felt like I needed to take the subs. I just can't believe I did this to myself, that and with the klonopin. :oops: I'm just so mad at myself, I have nobody to tell this to because my fiance would flip out as he thinks I've been tapering and hates that I'm on subs at all. I would so love if someone can please help me out with some answers or suggestions. I just feel so horrible for doing this to myself! Grrrr! Please help, I really need some kind of support. Thanks in advance.

-GlamRecovery- Not So Glam Right Now :roll:


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:11 am 
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Hi glamrecovery

Welcome to the forum!!

I don't think you'll wd from Klonopin if you've only been taking them for a week and a half. It doesn't sound like your dose of Klonopin got very high either, so I'm thinking you should be fine.

As for jumping from 16mg to 6mg of Suboxone, my question would be how did your previous taper go? Did you feel your dose reductions intensely then? If you had a hard time with your previous taper, I'd say going from 16mg to 6mg will be a shock to your system. If you had an easy time of it with your previous taper, you may well go from 16mg to 6mg without much trouble.

If it were me, I'd go to 12mg and stay there for a few days, then go down to 8mg and hang out there for a bit, then go to 6mg.

You mentioned how you can't believe you got back up to 16mg of Suboxone when you were down to 8mg and how you got back on Klonopin, too. Everyone here understands why you did what you did. Welcome to addiction.

Have you thought about working with an addiction counselor to help you learn how to live this affliction we have called addiction? It may be worth some thought.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 11:20 am 
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Hey Romeo,
I've seen many counselors. The reason I'm pursuing 6mg, is because I was on 8mg for months just a week and a half ago. I'm not sure if this mess up of me taking 16mg's for this last week in a half will put me in shock if I go back down to 8mg or just 6mg. When I first got to PA and saw the old doc out there, I was on between 16-12mg's and he immediately lowered me to 8mg. I didn't feel too much wd, but like us all, we're so afraid of any wd, and that anticipation. I think I'm just going to drop down to 8mg, next week because I see my doc again Weds, the 23rd. So, I think I may jump down now, and just not say much to my fiance even though I feel so bad for not being honest. I'm just so mad at myself. I do see a counselor, but he isn't of much help. That's why I decided to come here. I will keep you posted on how it works out. I just want to be off the stuff for good, but it's so much easier said than done. Time to put my big girl pants on and go for it. Thank you! :wink:


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 12:53 pm 
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Welcome to the forum!!

We have many people here that are tapering, and this is an amazing place of support. Especially being able to read and be told how other people did with tapering.

As Romeo said, we get it. Addiction is a bitch and we will most likely always take more, if a doctor recommends it. I mean, they're doctors. They MUST be right!! ;) my question is why the hell would anyone put you on more, when you were fine on less? It just makes no sense! It's like saying "no doctor my pain is gone I don't need any more percoset" and he says "oh yes you do, you must take them everyday!" This doctor must not understand Suboxone and it's power very well.

Good luck on your taper! If you start feeling badly, they're there for you to taper less severely as well. The whole point in a taper is to walk away with as minimal of symptoms as possible. So don't be afraid to go back up a little if need be. 16-8 is big. But as you said, the small time frame may not be a big deal!

I can relate as I have a 21mo old. He's an active boy and doesn't give much time for WD! Luckily my husband is supportive, but he's also been through this. It's hard for others to really get it if they haven't actually been through it. Addiction is a mind fuck. Excuse the language.

Keep us updated!!


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PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 1:21 pm 
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Hey Glam, i really dont think you will feel anything but better if you junp back down to 8mgs now. I did the samething over a year ago. 16 to 8 overnight. I felt great.
So im now at 6mgs heading to 4 after year two. You should be fine.imo..
Flush thoses benzos.you dont seem to need them.
Counselors?..ya ive had a few these last 34 months in rwcovery. Nice people but didnt get me. Or maybe i just didnt get them..idk. Taljin with other addicts works best for me today an being of help. So ..you have your big girl pants on now..go for it!!!
Best of luck.....razor....my 2 ..cents...


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2013 6:36 am 
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Hey Glam,

First of all welcome!

I think you will be just fine if you jump on back down to 8mg. You really haven't had long enough on the 16mg to get your tolerance too much higher than it was. I'll bet you won't notice much difference at all.

As for feeling bad about letting yourself get back up to the 16mgs, don't worry about it! We all mess up, and it was a tough situation you were in when your new doctor suggested it. Do what you feel is right for you, and just move on from here. Don't dwell on it! If you don't feel the need to tell your fiance, don't worry about it.

I agree with the others though, the benzos aren't a good idea if they aren't absolutely necessary. I would be more worried about them than the increase in suboxone. Be careful.

Q

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:53 pm 
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Thank you all for the responses and most of all, the support. It's a tough battle. I've been taking 12mg's lately, but tomorrow I've decided to drop back to 8mg like I was originally doing. I just wish that doctor would have listened to me when I said "I'm on 8mg, and was tapered to that!" because I was proud to say it, but obviously he's in it for the money as most of these type of doctors are, and totally ignored me and upped my dose to keep me longer. I'm not a dummy, but I am stupid for allowing myself to do exactly what he prescribed. I go back tomorrow, and I've decided to be upfront completely and ask for just 8mg per day, and be VERY clear this time. I want to get off this stuff so badly. I look at my daughter and instantly cry, because I'm not only doing this for myself, but I've made a promise to my daughter to get off this madness! I can do it, and that's what I keep telling myself. It doesn't help though with everyday stress, and things that just fall into your lap that happen in life. But, you know what? I got myself into this, and I can sure as hell get myself out. That's my plan. Thank you all so much, and I will be back to keep you posted on my progress, and for the support! Thanks again! :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2013 2:44 pm 
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Hi Glam,

I've been reading your thread and also wanted to welcome you here to the forum!

I just can't believe the new doctor RAISED/DOUBLED your dose from 8mg to 16mg??? Yeah, it's sure safe to say he's in it for money reasons alone. I know how hard it is to say NO to these guys as I let my own sub doctor put me on 24mg in the beginning. I knew after a week or so on it that it was just too much, but like a dummy I kept on taking it faithfully every day. And I took that 24mg every day for about 2 years and knew I had to get off the sub, it was MY TIME to do so. Sounds like you are fully ready to reduce your dose also.

I see you are now on 12mg and thinking of reducing to 8mg tomorrow? I just wanted to say that I'm almost positive you will encounter few problems as you reduce. In fact I found that the lower in dose, the better I began feeling! And the funny thing is I felt just as good, and usually better, on the lower doses as I did the higher ones. I felt great on 6mg, felt real good on 4mg, and even felt just fine on the 2mg dose. I was so scared to make the reduction to 1mg, but found that was even a non-issue for me. The sub is so strong and powerful that a little bit goes a long way and will hold you just fine. At least it was that way with me. It's all in my thread here.

I reduced without telling my doctor anything. I just kept going to my appointments, shaking my head yes, getting my scripts, reducing my dose, and saving up lots of sub. :D After I was down to 2mg or so is when I finally told him what I had been doing. I thought he would be really upset, but instead congratulated me for tapering slowly, and knowing myself it was time for me personally to get off the sub. But he would have kept me on it for life if I had said or done nothing. There's not anything wrong with that either in my opinion, some people need to remain on the sub lots longer than others. But after almost 3 years I knew it was time to get off for me.

I had basically re-built my life and repaired most of the damage I had done from years and years of chasing those drugs and being a bad, bad girl. There was no way I was going down that road again and I knew getting off the sub was the right decision for me at the time. Coming up on 2 months since my last dose of sub and I'm doing great, and feeling really well expecting my first child soon! :D

So I just wanted to let you know it's not as frightening as you may think when reducing to the lower doses of 2-6mg or so in my opinion. Even getting to 1mg was really easy for me to do. Keep a positive attitude and remain committed to your plan. Doing it for your daughter is a great reason of course, but you have to do this for YOU first if you intend on getting off the sub completely.

Wishing you the very best Glam. Your getting great info, suggestions and support from everyone here. Keep up the great work and keep us updated. I know you can do this, and all will be well. Take care of yourself and that little girl!

Hugs,
Karen xoxo


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PostPosted: Tue Oct 29, 2013 9:48 pm 
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Now that it's a week later, how's it been going for you GR? Have you been able to taper to 8mg? I hope that's the case and that you haven't been bothered by withdrawal symptoms.

Please try not to be so hard on yourself. Remember that you made a big improvement and step in your life by going on suboxone in the first place. Being on suboxone, even with its difficulties, is so much better than being in active addiction! When you look at your baby girl, remember that you have been moving toward a better life for your whole family by stopping the active addiction!

I hope you'll come back and update us!

Amy

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