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 Post subject: living a new sober life.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 2:17 am 
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Hi I'm new to this group and I'm so happy I found it..the stories of encouragement have been very much needed. I Have struggled with addiction of one kind or another for many years.. seems once I deal with one addiction another pops up out of no where. I got on suboxone a few years ago after my second c section because I abused my pain medication I was prescribed by my obgyn. It didn't take long and I was buying off the streets and I knew i had to get help or I would go down the same road I did so many times before in my addiction. Xanax was always my drug of choice but as I said it didn't matter the substance I used it always ended in taking way to many and inevitably I would end up in jail. After having my kids I realized it was time to make a change and I was sober for a few years and as hard as it is to admit the mundane every day life caught up with me and I relapsed.. heroin..methamphetamines..you name it I got back on suboxone last year and it has been a struggle to find motivation and energy to go on with life even tho I want so bad to be the mom my kids need me to be.. they are my everything and I want more than anything to get on with life and put the bad in the past.. I am sober but I feel as though everything else is falling apart.. how does everyone balance life..kids.. sobriety.. happiness.. how can I get my life back on track and have the opportunity to be who I was created to be? Hope everyone is doing well.. God Bless


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 6:41 pm 
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Hello Free,

i really sympothize with you. Suboxone can only take us so far and we have to pick up the rest of the slack. If you know what I mean. You should be proud of yourself to have the inner strength to know that you needed to get back on Subxone. For you and your kids. That is a huge step in the right direction.
If you need to find meaning in your life, try maybe a new activity or hobby. I found yoga help me tons in the beginning of my sub journey. I then later stared my own business that has kept me very motivated and a "purpose in life" so to speak.

This helps me too. I keep a journal that i write what i am grateful for. Even if it is " I am grateful to have a pet that loves me" I write that down. The little things add up to joy in your life.

Have you worked on your recovery by going to a a meeting? Not necessarily AA or NA but a counselor or addiction group of some kind. Just talking about it to a group helps so much especially when you find that others feel just the same as you do.

I personally try to stay busy. I bough a calendar and filled up the days with the gym, crafts, visiting friends. yoga.

In no time, I felt full again and happy. I hope you find it too.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 03, 2016 9:12 pm 
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Those of use who have been addicted to opioids seem, in general, to be more aware of how we 'feel'. I think part of it is because we have found a secret way to escape from some of life's toughest, existential questions, at least until that secret escape turned against us. But we still carry that fantasy deep down inside, that there must be some way to 'enjoy' life. I know this sounds pretty negative... but bear with me.

I think often about the lives that most humans have lived. There is this tiny sliver of time-- maybe the past 40 years-- where humans have had the luxury of expecting life to be a good time. Think about how it was just 60 years ago in the US, when 18 year old boys would proudly run off to beaches in France to catch bullets for the row of guys behind them, so that they could catch the next row of bullets, hoping that maybe someone in the next boat would make it ashore. Even 35 years ago, Americans were still giving up their sons in order to stop the spread of communism. Go back hundreds of years and you have times when 'the masses' lived to serve the rich, hoping that at most, one of their six kids would survive to adulthood. In the early 1800's, the life expectancy for Americans was 37 years (!)

Now, even us 'common folks' expect to find some level of happiness and fulfillment. That is a very tall task--- one that the vast majority of human beings never expected to find. So to start, just think about the magnitude of what you are hoping to find!

We have those greater expectations through no fault of our own. Maybe our lives are MORE difficult, because our expectations are so much higher.

But beyond all the historical stuff, we have a situation where some of us took a chemical that made all of life's mysteries and pains drift away-- at least for a couple hours. Now we are supposed to just forget that little secret, and find a way to be happy and fulfilled without it.

I find it helpful to remember just how enormous the challenge, to just be 'happy'. On one hand, I don't think that our ancestors had the same expectations of being 'happy'. But on the other hand, we probably are in a better position to find happiness than most of our ancestors, given that we live longer, lose fewer of our children, and have ten times more TV channels than they did!!

My recommendation is to try your best to lower your expectations, and take each day as it comes. And yes, absolutely, get involved in as many things as you can, and learn as much as you can-- about anything that interests you. Maybe you were 'created to be' the exact person who you are, right now. Maybe you were created to go through the exact struggle that brought you to this moment. Starting right now, just move forward doing the 'next right thing', to borrow from an AA bumper sticker. Maybe this is all that life has to offer. Maybe the challenge for you is to realize that this is what life is all about. But always remember what you've learned about taking opioid agonists-- that there just isn't any future in it.


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Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

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