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PostPosted: Tue Mar 10, 2015 2:13 am 
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Hi evolvedrevolver,
I hope you are doing well and am curious about how you are doing? I am a newbi and have been reading you posts for the last few weeks.
Thanks, Sherah


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 4:01 pm 
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Hi BK & Sherah,

Things have been good. I feel very normal now. Last week I had a bit of the "tireds" - generally after I eat, both in the afternoon and in the evenings, but as of sunday I've felt as normal as I have in a long time. I feel like I'm probably close to 100% now - only took a month lol. Cravings come and go, but in the end I know a few things I didn't know before for the many years I'd been using opiates.

As far as health goes - I feel good, lost some weight. Funny thing is, I'm eating shitty again, but it doesn't even matter. Just goes to show how badly the suboxone was screwing my stomach up on a daily basis. I won't get into it. Otherwise, I do have some arthritis (wrists / fingers) since im a computer person and work on it a lot. Plus my back still hurts, but these are things I had before, and part of the reason I got back on opiates in the first place so, business as usual.

Otherwise, I still have this huge collection of suboxone. I'm actually debating on just getting rid of them now (and kratom). I don't really know how I could honestly use this even once, and not end up feeling like shit for a week or so. I don't think its possible regardless of what I've read and heard anecdotally. I'm sure its independent of you as a person, your age, metabolism, amount of dopamine in your body, etc, etc but in the end i don't know if its right for me anymore. I might just need to tough out bad days like a normal human being without the need for aids.

Haven't been taking anything at all for the better part of a week or two - no stomach stuff, no sleeping aids, no RLS meds, zinc, l-tyro, magnesium or anything. That's why I feel I'm normal now.

Last but not least, work has picked up. Strange how those things happened, but accounts have been rolling in, and just in time - right after feeling better. I can't complain. I've come so far!

best regards to you both, and everyone else. I know I wanted to write a recap, and haven't yet. I'm still trying to wrap my head around how I want to do that exactly.

evolve.


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PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2015 8:29 pm 
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Hi Evolve,

Sounds like you are feeling good. I am so very happy for you. You have come so far, and the fact that you are considering getting rid of all of your sub is another testament to how you are truly over it. Bravo, Good Sir!

I am wondering though; sounds like you felt fairly okay about a week after your jump, then you kept progressing from there? Of course I don't expect you to answer, as you are now living your life away from thoughts of sub. I hope to be there someday as well.

Anyway, I just wanted to congratulate you. I hope you are well and that your arthritic pain subsides. Best wishes!

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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 2:43 pm 
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Hey ER,

I'm glad to see your update. I have to say that I'm not surprised a bit that you are still doing well. Your story has been so positive from the very beginning, I knew you were going to knock it out of the park!

Keep in touch!

Q

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No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 3:00 pm 
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BK

Yeah - I'd say the worst were in the first few days, maybe 3-4, but the sleeplessness wasn't so bad. I've done many a drug in my day, and sleeplessness on coke from one night of use is worse than what I experienced on day 1. Things got better day 4 or 5? Hard to remember now, but I'd say even on day 1 I felt maybe 60-70% normal. Never dipped below 60% during the process, and was up to 80% day 5ish. The steady climb to 90% took a few weeks, but it wasn't so bad. Literally the worst of it was stomach related, and some difficulty sleeping, but no real insomnia.

In the past few weeks, really the worst is randomly feeling tired in the afternoon post eating, and after dinner. No "opiate pains" such as in my ankles or legs. Sleep is pretty normal. My stomach can be weird from time to time, but I think that's my diet. In general, I feel very normal. Cravings come and go, and a few times I've been like wow, i feel so normal I bet I could get away with taking kratom, then I think about it some more, and realize its a stupid idea. Taking it just to take it is completely pointless for me. If anything, if I were to take it again which I don't want to do, it would be for my wrists / back etc. But I don't even want to really. It took me years, literally years of my life, losing friendships, being a hermit (working from home but never leaving), and just not taking as good of care of my life as I should've been to realize that. I don't want to be that person again.

Probably the best benefit, I feel a lot smarter. I don't know how else to put this - Opiates made me slow mentally. Often I'd be talking to someone, and say something, and eventually end up thinking wow I cant believe I said that, it was so careless, or thoughtless or whatever. Now, I'm back to being more thoughtful - I can provide concise answers to questions. My memory is sharper. To some degree, how I write on here, is how I can speak normally. On opiates though, the disparity between my written self and my spoken self was great. I think it really came down to being able to think quickly, come up with things on the fly, have your brain work faster. All of these things came back to me once I'd been off for a few weeks.

Depression might have been a factor, and I honestly think its possible suboxone contributed to depression for me due to the physical aspects of what I had - the allergy to the medicine. I'm still not 100% physically better yet, but I'm very very close now, and once I am I'm going to celebrate.

So what is normal life like for me? Much more of the same really. Videogames, friends, music, tv but now with the added benefit of actually wanting to go outside and do things. It just needs to not be so damn cold. I'm probably getting back into producing music and djing (used to do both for a while) since I need a new hobby now that I feel like my days are longer. To some degree, life can be boring, but you have to think of it in terms of opportunity. If you have free time, fill it with something you love, something you can spend your time on and enjoy and be happy you're doing so. Not something to solely make time go by quicker. Pills can do that - and thats not really living (IMO).

SWIK offered me the rest of their subs recently. I turned them down. I'm off that rollercoaster and am sticking to bumper cars from now on. :)


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 3:09 pm 
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And thank you Q. I never meant to be gone from here for so long. I'd been kind of focused on work and getting my life back together. :) sorry for being MIA for a bit there. I'm sure it can be scary for some of you regulars seeing someone who jumped just dissapear like that. I've seen it myself. But rest assured that I want to be a success, and do want to show this is possible, not only for myself, but for others.

evolved.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 19, 2015 5:26 pm 
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I haven't commented a whole bunch on your thread, but I've read it all, and I want you to know that I think you've done an awesome job!

It is so helpful for our thread to have positive tapering and detoxing stories. If I were you I might print out this thread and save it. You deserve the praise you've gotten!

Amy

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