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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 4:47 pm 
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Lillyval wrote:
After the last post I did go to my doc and he have me another 30 2mg strips, and I had planned to get back down to 2mg. In the meantime I leveled off at 4mg, and I had kind of just resigned myself to the fact that winter's coming, this was supposed to be a "spring" taper, and I'll probably just stay on 4mg or less over the winter.

So I called my doc (who has in no way been trying to force me to taper) and I'm told that he currently does not have a DEA number. (I mentionned before that there was something "off" about his office).
So I have 2 2mg strips left and will not be getting a refill. I know it's gonna be OK, but I was already upset about a few other things, so I've just been sitting here crying for the last half hour.
I know Romeo, Brian_TX and substation just did it, so I guess I can too. I just wasn't ready for it to be this abrupt.


Holy CRAP...are you serious?! This is totally ridiculous.

Lilly, you don't want to taper during the winter, but you are going to just jump at 4 mg? I really recommend you find another doctor. Being forced to jump isn't good, but you may have options. Damn it, no wonder people on Sub hoard!!

Lilly, just listen to what I'm saying and please don't get offended (great way to try to not offend someone, lol). You are thinking all or nothing. We all do this. You can find another doc. You absolutely can taper during the winter. You just need to taper slowly enough that you don't feel it. For some reason, none of us want to do this. We'd rather not do any tapering than a very gradual one. However, a very gradual taper will add up. You could taper so slowly that you feel nothing at all and by the time you get to spring, you'll be at 1 mg and much, much closer to being all the way done. Or you can not taper at all and try to do it all in the spring, which will be harder on you. Or you can just accept this doc's sudden shady absence and try to jump, but you don't deserve to have to go through that!!!!

Please update soon!

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 5:10 pm 
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Lilly,

That is completely ridiculous what you're doctor is putting you through. He just found out today that his DEA number got pulled?? He didn't have the presence of mind to have his secretary call his clients the moment his DEA number got pulled so they could start looking THEN for a new doctor.

Am I reading your last post correctly in that you only have a total of 4mg of Suboxone left right now??

I sent you a PM, please read it.

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PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:30 pm 
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I was pretty upset when I posted earlier and I don't think I was making a lot of sense. There are essentially two issues going on. One is that I've not been able to stick to my taper. I've burned through two scripts of 30 2mg strips in a month, averaging 4 mg/day.
But as far as the doctor was concerned I was going down to 2mg/day, so I should have had two weeks worth left. As far as the DEA thing goes, his office manager said it was a paperwork issue and that he should be getting the number renewed shortly. I'm not so sure, though, because I remember he said the DEA was "on his back" a few months ago. That was why he was going to start the counseling groups that never materialized.
As far as another Dr., some of you might remember I did an extensive search because I had concerns about this doc a while back. Long story short, I found exactly one doc that would be plausible ( that took my insurance & was within an hour drive), and they were super militant and I was extremely uncomfortable to say the least. I went in just for a consult to meet the doc, had to wait over an hour in the waiting room, and they ended up billing me for labs i never had. So at this point I'd rather go off than start with a new doc.
Anyway, I have to sleep on it and think about what to do when my head is clearer.
Thanks for all your replies and PMs.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:05 am 
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I'm down to my last 2 mg film, which I'm cutting into 4 pieces and taking for the next 4 days starting today. Hopefully, this will get me through my week-end commitments without being too bad off. Early next week I have three days of no scheduled work or commitments, and my husband will be here to help with the kids. Honestly, I think I needed this push, and as long as I had Sub and knew my doc would always give me more if I ran out early I couldn't stick to my taper. Anytime I felt a little shitty, I would take a small piece even though it didn't do anything.
Reading the post of people who jumped at high doses because they couldn't taper was making me think that was the route I was going to take, even before the doctor thing happened. So right now I'm really feeling like this is my time. I'm coming up on 2 years in a couple of weeks, the weather is still good, I can still get out in the Sun and I just feel that I don't want to turn back now. Now I'm AFRAID my doc will call in a few days when I feel like crap and say he called in my script. I guess I better make sure that doesn't happen.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:43 am 
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Lillyval wrote:
I'm down to my last 2 mg film, which I'm cutting into 4 pieces and taking for the next 4 days starting today. Hopefully, this will get me through my week-end commitments without being too bad off. Early next week I have three days of no scheduled work or commitments, and my husband will be here to help with the kids. Honestly, I think I needed this push, and as long as I had Sub and knew my doc would always give me more if I ran out early I couldn't stick to my taper. Anytime I felt a little shitty, I would take a small piece even though it didn't do anything.
Reading the post of people who jumped at high doses because they couldn't taper was making me think that was the route I was going to take, even before the doctor thing happened. So right now I'm really feeling like this is my time. I'm coming up on 2 years in a couple of weeks, the weather is still good, I can still get out in the Sun and I just feel that I don't want to turn back now. Now I'm AFRAID my doc will call in a few days when I feel like crap and say he called in my script. I guess I better make sure that doesn't happen.


I wish you the absolute best. I think this will be tough, but then again, other people on here have done it. It is possible. It will take a lot of strength. I kinda wish for you that you didn't have to do it this way. Sticking to a taper became possible for me after I tried it the other way. However, as you've already tried tapering and really want to be done with this, the best thing is for you to get through this.

No matter what ends up happening, you know you have support here. I really wish you the very best and anything you need, please ask. I'm gonna PM you w/ my info. Something good will come of this. I think you are making it a positive thing and that is so very important. I don't know exactly what to say, lol. I just want you to relax and know it will end. It's not forever. So....good luck and go for it, girl!

Here's to this being your time, Lilly! Don't be afraid. You are the one in charge.

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 2:26 pm 
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Lilly.

I am sorry you are having to go through this crazyness with your doctor. I don't know what I would do if my doctor just lost his DEA number like that.

I wish you the best with your short taper and hope the w/d is not too bad. If it gets bad, you could always go to a walk in clinic and maybe get some clonadine.

I really have no other advice, just want you to know that a member is rooting for you. I belive you can make it and will be thinking about you. You will get lots of support here so let us know how you are doing!


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 5:49 pm 
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Lilly, we're here for ya Bud!!

I completely understand the whole not being able to taper thing, it's happened to several of us. As they say, it is what it is.

Stay strong and stay focused!!

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:59 pm 
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Lilly, first wanted to thank you for your help with me. I’m just getting around to reading other posts and didn’t have any idea you were also going through trying times.

It’s unfortunate the way things are going for you. I would like to think it should be YOUR decision to quite. With that said, I will say I’m a strong believer that God works in crazy ways. Maybe it’s for the best. It almost sounds like your fine with quitting this way though, but I could be wrong. I’m just saying I think most people in your situation would be bitching like crazy….I know I would.

I was scared to DEATH if I missed one day’s dose. It toke me wanting to get off. Anyway, however the situation pans out I know you have a strong support group right here just to name one and you will make it out of this! Good Luck!


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 11:53 pm 
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Lilly, how are you doing??

Please update the thread and talk to us if you're up to it.

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