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PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 10:04 pm 
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OK, so this is random, and has nothing to do with Suboxone, but sorta, kinda, in a round about way has to do with my addiction.....but, I need to get this off my chest. I had a really weird run in with an obnoxious, mean-spirited, cowardly guy today, and it has been bothering me all afternoon.

I was running errands this afternoon, and was driving from my neighborhood to a nearby shopping area (Target, Petsmart, Staples....you know the kind of place). I don't live in a subdivision, just an old area near downtown (1920's bungalows and such), so some of the streets where I live go from residential to pretty big in a hurry. Anyway, I was behind this guy in an SUV (important later), and was on a street that turns into a busy, 4 lane road, but is a 2 lane street at this part. This guy was driving REALLY slow....like 15-20 mph, but there was nothing I could do about it (2 lanes at the time). After we left the residential area, the street widened, and I moved into the left lane, and tried to pull ahead of him. As soon as I did this, he sped up....initially just to the speed limit but, once I signaled to get in front of him, he sped up to like 60mph to prevent me from passing. I gave up, slowed down, kept my signal on, and tried to get behind him. He also slowed down so that I couldn't get behind him. At this point, I looked into his window (he positioned himself right next to me) and kinds put my hands in the air in a "what do you want" sort of gesture....he flipped me off and pulled away. Whatever....I really don't care about graphic sign language.

Now I am behind him, and he is , of course, going 20mph again, but now we are in a really busy part of the street....near a freeway entrance. There are people exiting the freeway, and they are sort of pulled into the street so they can see the cars and merge. I turned SLIGHTLY in (to avoid hitting a woman trying to merge), I guess he thought I was trying to pass again, and he pulled his car OVER the yellow line so that no one could pass him, and basically stopped. Problem was (well, there were a lot of problems with this), the woman was merging, and almost hit me because she wasn't expecting me to stop suddenly. He also almost hit the person in the lane next to him. So, I honked so that he wouldn't kill all of us in one fancy,asshole maneuver.

At this point, we were near the store, and there were several entrances to the mall area. After I honked, he literally floored it, tires squealing, and turned into the 1st turn-...not slowing down or signaling. I was so f***ing happy he was gone, I can't even tell you.

I drove 3-4 blocks ahead, and turned into a different entrance, and parked. It is Saturday, so the parking lot is full of people. I had backed into a space, and had just gotten out of my car when Mr. angry man pulls his SUV in front of my car (blocking me in), and proceeds to spew a tirade of profanities at me. Initially, he unlocked his car like he was going to get out (I don't think he had gotten a good look at me while driving and didn't know I was a woman). The weird part was, he wasn't saying, like, "you're a shitty driver" or "stop trying to cut me off"....he was just calling me REALLY ugly names. Now, I swear A LOT, but I was amazed at the filth that came out of this man's mouth....the nicest, mildest one was "f***ing c**t" (not sure if there is a no-searing rule on the forum).

All I said back was..."you're quite the gentleman" and (as he drove off) "it takes a real man to scream profanities at a woman and then run off you coward"

The thing is, he sat up high in his damn SUV and shouted down at me while all these other men just walked by and let it happen....the only person who stopped was a woman about my age who asked if I wanted her to call the police (she had gotten his license plate number), and this REALLY pissed me off. It's not that I expect some man to come to the rescue of the damsel in distress, but what happened to common decency? How far would they have let this guy go before someone stepped in???

This just has freaked me out (I have a bad history with violent men), and made me want to use (I'm not going to), and made me mad for not sticking up for myself better, and made me mad for letting this asshole get me upset....AAAHHHH!!!!

Why are people like that? Who follows someone and yells at them? Who lets this happen?

I know it's his issue.....but now I am a 'victim' of his anger, and I hate that....and I was really scared, and I REALLY REALLY hate that

:twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Anyway....there is no solution to this, but I have been holding it in all day, and I had to let it out.

Thanks for letting me rant.

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Elizabeth

Subs Not Drugs!!!

"Don't hope for a life without problems. An easy life results in a judgmental and lazy mind."
- Zen Master Kyong Ho


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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 1:05 am 
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I would be super pissed off. I kind of understand the men not doing anything because they don't know if this guy has a gun or not and I can see them not wanting to escalate it any further. Clearly the guy was a nut job. I definitely would have called the police though. The man was exhibiting road rage and I hope you took the license plate number from the kind lady and will call about it. I wish you would have gotten witnesses names. I do NOT understand people like that but have been in similar situations and it is infuriating and scary. It happened once when I was driving out to see my parents and they lived in the middle of no where. When I pulled into this gas station (in the middle of the night mind you) they followed me. It was extremely scary. In your case, I would still call the police over it so the guy will think twice before he does it again to someone. Or before someone else shoots him. This guy is an idiot. For all he knows you could be some serial killer psychopath. So yep....he is a damn idiot. Can you imagine being such a miserable person that you get THAT wrapped up in things and let your emotions rule you like that? Must be a sad and miserable life.

I am glad you are doing ok. I would probably thought of using myself. Glad you aren't and that you are venting instead.

Cherie


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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 7:10 am 
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This man certainly has anger management issues, he had them before your incident and still has them.. Let this situation GO .. There are " mean assholes " all over, this driver's brother must have been at our ballgame last nite.. I find it a little helpful sometimes, that is to see real bad behavior, I want everyone to love me.. Carry on and be well, Mike


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PostPosted: Sun May 02, 2010 9:45 am 
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Elizabeth I understand your anger and fear and I think it's completely normal. Obviously you know this incident had nothing to do with you personally, but that doesn't negate your feelings.

I see it this way: We tend to expect negative behavior such as this to have some kind of consequence. And on the surface, this guy didn't have any. Maybe that's what bothering you? Personally I subscribe to the belief that karma will get him in the end. Things tend to balance themselves out naturally and over time. This has nothing to do with god, just the balance that exists in the universe. But that's just my opinion - take it for what it's worth.

I'm so glad that you are comfortable turning to us and this forum to get your feelings out about this. And yes, I would have had a knee-jerk reaction and thought about using, too. We used to cope by taking a pill. It will take a long time to change such an initial reaction.

If it had happened to me I would have felt the same way you did. Oh, and the fact that you took the high road and didn't let him bait you reflects well on you. Really, I think it does.

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-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 12:49 pm 
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Hey guys,

Thanks so much for the replies. Writing everything down was great, and the support really helped me. I may have ever-reacted some, but I am still trying to learn to live without drugs, and it can be really hard sometimes (something I know all of you understand WAY too well!).

Honestly, the worst part was the desire to use. When I relapsed in December, it was after a big fight with my husband. I had all that adrenaline running through me (shaky, sweaty hands)....and that's what ultimately pushed me over the edge (I had been thinking about it for a while). That was the same feeling I got after this guy drove off. So, I think it was sort of a conditioned response (not that I'm surprised....using opiates is my conditioned response to EVERYTHING! :roll:)

I absolutely agree with you about the Karma stuff Hatmaker. Did you know that there is some version of Karma in most religions....Christians have the golden rule ("do unto others as you would have them do unto you"), Wiccans and many Pagans believe that what you put out comes back times three, and many other religions believe in Karma. Even basic physics...."every action has an equal and opposite reaction". Plus, as addicts, I think most of us learned that our lives were miserable when we were in active addition and putting an INCREDIBLE amount of negative energy out into the world. Plus, I can't imagine that his life is that enjoyable as it is.....happy people don't do shit like that!!!

I got to thinking about it later, and started wondering what could have happened to make him that way. Maybe he's mentally ill, or just caught his wife with his best friend, or is an addict in withdrawal.....or maybe he just has a REALLY REALLY REALLY SMALL PENIS!!!!! :lol: Anyway.....I hope he finds help for whatever his problem is (plastic surgeons can work wonders these days....I've heard that you can hardly see the car at all).

Cherie...I do have his license plate number, but I don't think I'm going to follow up on it. I didn't get witness information (I was in a big hurry to get away, and wasn't thinking straight), so it would be his word against mine. Plus, I talked to my husband about it (he's a lawyer), and he told me that he would help me with whatever I wanted to do, but also pointed out that we may not want to provoke the crazy man. Filing a police report would just mean more contact with this man, more aggression, and more anger. My opinion is that he would just blame me (that stupid butch that called the cops), stay angry, and not learn a damn thing from it anyway.

Anyway....thanks for the support....it really meant a lot to me. My husband was supportive, but he ultimately doesn't really understand how this effects me as an addict....especially being triggered by this. That's something that, I think, can only be understood by other addicts....it's just too hard to explain to "normal" people. :wink:

Elizabeth

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Elizabeth

Subs Not Drugs!!!

"Don't hope for a life without problems. An easy life results in a judgmental and lazy mind."
- Zen Master Kyong Ho


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PostPosted: Mon May 03, 2010 2:22 pm 
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So true Elizabeth and Hatmaker, I have recently come to believe that we definitely reap what we sow. I have come to realize that I need to do the right thing because my actions (even the smallest of them) certainly have an effect on other people.

I agree with you that he certainly is carrying some kind of pain, anger or hurt. I have tried to replace anger and resentment with compassion and patience. Though it is difficult at times I must admit. I am learning to change my life I only have to change my attitude. I agree with you that I wouldn't spend anymore energy or time on this pitiful man. Congratulations on rising above!

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Promise me you will always remember...You are braver than you believe, you are stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think!

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