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 Post subject: Learning the hard way
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:55 pm 
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Boy! It seems it never ends with me.

Well friends, at least this time I know what it is and I know what NOT to do.

Last summenr I had a relapse. I asked my primary care doctor for Percocet. I gave her such a story. An addict can find so many ways.

What I realize today is why that happened.

I have a big insomnia problem. When I relapsed, I had used an Ambien refill. When the Ambien finished, I asked my doctor for Percs.

My daughter takes Ambien & I had a rough few days of insomnia the last few days. I took some of her Ambien & now that it's finished, I am craving opiates like crazy, I have been crying all day. Only this time I know.

They claim Ambien is not an opiate. Be careful!! It does something to me. Don't let it happen to you.

My anti-depressant is supposed to help me with sleep. My sub doctor appointments are monthly. So instead of calling him, I took the Ambien waiting for my appt. which is this week.

Last time I fell. This time I only stumbled.

Queenie learns the hard way.

Thank you all for your support and for making this my second home.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:21 pm 
Hmmmm.... What do you mean be careful with the ambien? Its a non-narcotic sedative. If anything, it may have had you so out of it that you made a bad choice. Its not impossible honestly. I wouldnt feel bad about it though. People make mistakes. Hope it gets better for you!! Ambien is fairly safe if used under a doctors care. Its only habit forming, in a sense because you get so used to the ambien helping you sleep that you become unable to sleep without it. Its not physically addicting. Like i said though, dont be hard on yourself. It will be ok!! :)


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 Post subject: hi
PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:10 pm 
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Lifesaver, I love your posts and look forward to them. Really

However, let me just say that I sincerely believe anthing can set off a relapse.

Maybe the Ambien relaxed me and triggered something. Maybe something in it interacted with something. Everyone is different.

I just wanted to say and I stand by it, "be careful" You never know what could set you off.

I could be a coincedence that I felt the same way, but better safe than relapsed.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:00 pm 
Queenie maybe you actualy need something better for your sleep . I dont like how doctors throw antidepressants and psych meds at us instead of giving us something thats actualy used for sleep or anxiety because they are scared to prescribe the correct medicine for fear of addiction. I cant tell you how many worthless SSRI's I had to go through before I was finaly prescribed a benzo (which I need for legitimate anxiety attacks). Pysch meds arent harmless like doctors make them out to be and its pretty irresponsible if you ask me that they give them to people for off label use instead of the correct medicine to treat it since it could be habit forming.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:13 pm 
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Hi queenie, glad to see you posting again. So something about the way Ambien makes you feel is a trigger for you? That's good to know. Maybe the doc can give you a different sleep med, not necessarily a benzo. I know insomnia has been an ongoing problem for you. I'm glad you're still here toughing it out. The snow in NYC must have been a b**ch, huh? We have over 2 feet here! Hang in there.
Lilly


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:25 pm 
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Well I'm glad to see you are still okay. I hadn't seen you around in a while and was starting to worry. I agree with you that many things can be a trigger and for me, ambien would probably be a trigger as well. Reason being is that I would probably enjoy that sleepy feeling and it would get me thinking about the sleepy feeling opiates give. I can totally see it. The problem as I see it with ambien......it only works for a few days and then you have to take more and more and more in order to stay asleep. Or at least that was my experience with it. I don't have insomnia on sub. Thank goodness because insomnia is the worst.

I hope you are feeling better soon.

Cherie

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Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.

- Winston Churchill


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:33 pm 
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Queenie

I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with insomnia and a hard time! The great thing is that you realize whats really going on in your head! You have helped me through so many hard times this past 4 months (4months today!) and I know you will be strong enough to get through this. Think about all the things you have to smile about but remember its OKAY to cry and let it out.

Hugs!

Jessica

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 Post subject: just me
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:02 pm 
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Your words are beautiful, just like you!

I am so proud of you. Thank you for those kind words. They help so much.


Love, Quenie


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:22 pm 
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Queenie, maybe you stumbled but you DID NOT FALL!!

It never occurred to me that Ambien could be a trigger. I took it for a while and it was a miracle. i mean, I've battled insomnia since I was a toddler (according to my mom) and I could fall right to sleep. At some point, it stopped working and it was SCARY to be awake and on Ambien. It freaked me out!!! So, I stopped it altogether and didn't sleep for a while but it wasn't all that bad. I do agree with suboxOWNED that it's better to take something for sleep that is specifically for SLEEP than to try all the psych meds they throw at people to knock them out (like Seroquel...ugh, shiver). I know many people have to switch between Ambien and something else, like Lunesta, when the Ambien stops working. I think chronic insomnia can be torture and if mine got bad enough I might take something for it again. However, if Ambien really does trigger relapse for you, obvious this is out. Are you sure it's the sleepy feeling from the Ambien itself or is it guilt over taking Ambien that is your real trigger? Just wondering.

Queenie, your honesty is truly beautiful.

laddertipper

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First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald


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 Post subject: Thankk you
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 3:15 pm 
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All of you here make this grandma feel so loved & wanted. Thank you all!

Ladder, you say my honesty is beautiful. What a beautiful thing to say.

I firmly believe that if you are going to truly recover, you have to be honest with yourself & others. Especially here where we understand each others problems so much better than someone who is not going through this.

So, I learned one more thing in my addiction. Good! Anything that gets me over, helps.

Apply this to yourselves so if you stumble, you won't fall.

I love you all from my heart and could never do without your love & understanding.

Love, Queenie


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:05 pm 
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Hey my Queen I hope all is well first and for most. I am sorry to see that you are going through this struggle I know 100% what lack of sleep can do to an addict and it’s not good. I just am glad you realized this time that once the ambient was gone that you didn’t resort back to your old ways of wanting percs to help. Because in the long run we both know they did the complete opposite. When all is said and done there are meds out there that can help you with sleep that are non addictive.

This truly is a last option medication for sleep but its more powerful than any benzo or non benzo sleep medications. But let me tell you that it also comes along with a lot of shitty side effects but this medication saved my life cause insomnia is one of my biggest triggers. Its called Seroquel but like I said this is a last option sleep med after everything has failed. But I promise you this medication will put you to sleep and keep you a sleep for a full nights rest.


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 Post subject: hey
PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:11 pm 
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Hi Bboy,

Hey thanks for the suggsestion. I have an appt. with my Sub doctor this Thursday and I will see what he says about that med.

He has me on an anti-depressant that is supposed to help with sleep but it doesn't. It's Mirtazipine.
I will tell you, he seems like the type that doesn't like to rx sleep meds. He went into this whole thing about looking for a psychiatrist. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad! That shows he is careful and doesn't just go crazy writing like my other doctors in the past that would be willing to give me anything I wanted I'm sure that didn't help my addiction.They would buy any story I gave them. But, hey, I blame myself for waiting so long to get help. I mean with an amputation & 6 surgeries. of course there was pain and they gave me the meds. But, after a while, it was another pain I was killing. We both know about that.

There I go rambling again.

Thanks for writing to me with that info. I will let you know what he says.

Take care of yourself, baby, o.k.?

Hugs, Queenie


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 11:40 pm 
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Queenie, have you ever tried Trazedone or Seroquel? Trazedone is very safe and often used for addicts. It is an older antidepressant, now used almost exclusively for sleep at much lower doses. I take Seroquel at night for sleep and to treat my bipolar. It is an atypical antipsychotic used also for depression and sleep. It is also commonly prescribed to addicts. It seems to interact with Sub, and I am out in a few minutes after taking both as prescribed. There is an over the counter product out now called, "Alteril" (I think I have the spelling right). It contains tryptophan (the substance that makes you sleepy after a big turkey dinner at thanksgiving) and melatonin. It worked really well for me- I think they sell it at CVS.

Be careful with Ambian. When I was out there I snorted and injected it (yeah, I was pretty sick). It will get you high if that is your mind set going in. It is a hypnotic that can also have the exact opposite (paradoxical) effect. The very worst night of my life is when I took an overdose of Dalmane (older, similar hypnotic sleep medication) that should have knocked out an elephant but instead made me very awake and violent. A walking nightmare. Spent a few days in a psych ward as a result. Could have been jail.


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