It is currently Thu Aug 17, 2017 7:22 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: LACK OF GUILT
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:39 am 
Offline
Super-Duper Poster
Super-Duper Poster
User avatar

Joined: Thu Jun 16, 2011 7:57 pm
Posts: 311
hello everyone...i am new to the forum but i have been reading your posts and they have been so helpful to me! I have heard my story told here time and time again. i guess we all have the same problem with the same solution!
i just wondered if any of you ever felt a lack of guilt while using like i did. i would do anything to get my doc and i didn't care who it hurt just as long as i got my pills. i always thought well..i need it more than you do!...as i stole my friends or families drugs..............when i scored a bunch i would feel guilty in bed at night asking God to forgive me but the next day it started all over again...it was like i had lost my soul....anyone here feel that way? thanks...judy


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 8:52 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Wed Apr 29, 2009 12:55 pm
Posts: 4933
Location: Leesburg, FL
Hi slipper and welcome to the forum. I'm glad the posts here have been beneficial to you.

I hear what you're saying. I think we've all experienced what you're describing. When we were at the height of our addiction - high or desperately seeking that high - our guilt is nonexistent. It's a manifestation of the disease of addiction and has nothing to do with our strength of character or anything like that. Then when the light of day approaches, that's when the guilt comes. Again, I firmly believe we've all been there. It's something we must find a way to deal with as we enter remission and work on getting better and changing those bad habits and behaviors.

Are you on suboxone and in recovery/remission now? If so, then it's time to work on moving forward. Do you go to meetings or have a counselor or therapist to help you with these kinds of issues? Guilt is very complicated. As a matter of fact, I'm experiencing my own guilt right now over something and for me this is years after I entered remission. Like I said, complicated.

I hope this helps. At the very least, please know you are not alone in this. Hope to see you sticking around the forum!

_________________
-As I have grown older, I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

-I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 9:05 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:44 am
Posts: 88
Location: NWNJ
I have done that exact same thing.Now looking back on it I am so ashamed of what i did and who I stole from.I just cant believe I had the odasity to do what I've done.I got tunnel vision and didnt think about the consequences.Thankfully I never got caught.I would have high anxiety for days on end hoping the people never found out.I have stolen from my father several times.He always has percs,needs them for pain.When I would go visit,I was there but not really.KWIM? All I was thinking about was when I could get the opportunity to sneak into his room and take some.After I did,I would relax and enjoy it then the guilt came.I have done that to several people but I think the worst was drinking my kids cough medicines or my daughters pain meds from her tonsillectomy.The Dr gave too many refills and guess what...I used them all.I have to try to forgive myself for what I've done and take peace in the fact that I am not the only one who has done that.When I would go into peoples homes I was like a scavenger,looking for that almighty fix.I just cant believe I even did such a thing and i wish I could take it all back.It only made me realize just how sick I had become.

_________________
I just want to get the monkey off of my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 10:02 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun Aug 28, 2011 2:44 am
Posts: 88
Location: NWNJ
While on the subject and just to get it out...I have gone as far as calling my husbands doctor and saying HE was in pain and picking up scripts in HIS name.He also has had knee surgery in the past and of course being the good wife that I am,I went to pick up his script.Driving 100 miles an hour to the pharmacy and helping myself to the pills before carefully replacing the papers and staple to the bag.I have even contemplated taking someones pain meds for their dog.I didnt because I didnt have access to the internet to look it up at the time.Sick huh?

_________________
I just want to get the monkey off of my back for good!!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 11:25 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
Hey slipper,

Welcome to the forum.

melijm said it a couple of times in her relpies to you, she referred to her behavior as sick. It's not that we addicts are bad people, we're sick people. There's a massive difference between the two.

I completely understand the lack of guilt you felt. While we're hunting down our "meds", we're justifying our behavior the whole time. We step on anyone who gets in the way. We lie, cheat and steal and we somehow manage to justify all of those behaviors at that moment in time, but then later, when the logic part of our brain starts working again, we feel guilty. That's our sickness.....it's our disease in action, the disease of addiction.

You are certainly not alone, we've all been there.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group