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PostPosted: Sat May 30, 2009 9:58 am 
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Hi everyone! I just recently joined this group & I am so glad I found it. I wanted to share my story for others to see & hopefully learn from.

I am a 40 yr old female with an addiction to opiates that started at the age of 20 back in 1989. I had suffered horrible abdominal pain since early childhood & finally got diagnosed with chronic hereditary pancreatitis in 1989. My GI doctor promptly gave me a script of 30 Darvocet with 5 refills. That was in Feb. 89 & in July of that year I had major surgery to remove stones from the pancreatic duct & they also hooked an intestine to the pancrease so it would drain properly. At the time of the surgery I was 5 months pregnant. They had no choice, I was down to 86 lbs & could not eat or drink without severe pain. The surgery was a success, even though it took 1 full year to recuperate.

I was on heavy demerol all during this time & had become dependant without even knowing. When the doctor gave me that 1st prescription, he never told me to be careful or they may become habit forming. I was so naive at that age, I didn't even know you could become addicted. Anyways, it was off to the races. I thought I had to have this medicine to survive.

It cost me a lot. I walked out on my husband in 1993 for a man 21 yrs my senior who was supplying me with narcotics. I was in that trap for 2 full years. He finally got arrested for trying to pass a forged script at an Eckerds drug store. He got out & it started again. I woke up the morning after Christmas 1995 & was out of meds. & with no prospect of getting any. I had the insight to finally want off this merry go round. I called a rehab center by my house, left me daughter with my mother & headed for healing.

I was put on xanax/valium & clonidine for 3 days. I left feeling great. Then a couple weeks later I was back in there on the "psych" side. It was like all the switches in my brain turned on or started firing after years of suppression. I was in a total manic state. I spent 3 weeks in there getting my mind back.

I was clean for 3 yrs & then started having pancrease problems again. So, I have been off & on the pain meds ever since. I have even had to go to rehab for Ultram.......please don't believe this medicine is not addicting. I went through just as much hell getting off of it.

Currently, I have been using for the last year & a half. My pain doctor would give me a script for 180 4mg Dilaudid. I was also getting Suboxone from another doctor during this time. I would use the months worth of Dilaudid in 7 to 9 days & then start the Suboxone until my next script of Dilaudid was due. I totally screwed my system up. My husband was laid off & we lost our health insurance as of 3/1/09. My pain doctor won't see me without insurance & I can't afford the sub doctor & the Subs........so I had no choice, I cold turkeyed it at home.

I'm on day 16 now & I must say I went through about 12 days of hell. I'm glad it's behind me & I did a lot of journeling. It helped to get the thoughts out & it will also serve as a reminder if I ever feel myself slipping again. I know with my diease there will come a day when I need to opiates, but for right now every pain free day is a blessing. I will have to deal with that when the time comes.

Thanks for listening!

bq68


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2009 5:39 pm 
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Congrats on sticking it out cold turkey, that is a rough rough road. Hopefully you can get insurance and possibly get back on the subs if thats what you want. I have a similiar situation which a health condition led me down the road to opiate abuse. My relationships have taken a toll from it and Im still dealing with that end of it. Suboxone has given me hope,which is what I needed. Hope that I can regain control of my life and help to break the vicious circle of getting/finding/doing opiates.
I wish you the best in your battle.


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 Post subject: Help for you
PostPosted: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:17 pm 
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[font=Verdana] [/font] I almost didn't reply because I see that you seem to be doing pretty good, but then I seen that you feel you may go back to using (yes..I know it is because of pain) so I decided to give you the heads up...There is actually help for ppl who do not have insurance to get suboxone. As long as your income is lower than a certain amount and you have no insurance....the company (Ricker something I think) has a program that GIVES you the pills....well they send them to your doctor. I have been getting mine free (minus the doctor visit) or almost 2 years now. It will stop though in a month or two, and I had to reapply when I had been getting them for a year. Go to the website and see if you can get info that way. I also have a number to a lady named Sherry from company that helped me get started. Good Luck... Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you get started.

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 Post subject: Still Hanging In There
PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 1:47 pm 
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Thanks for the info on the free suboxone & the encouragement. Today is day 33 clean, without opiates or suboxone. I am feeling good & able to function. Now that I finally have all of this medicine out of my system, I really don't want to start taking anything again.

I wish everyone much luck with whatever method you use to get clean. I will check back periodically & let you know how I'm doing.

Peace & Prayers,
Bonnie


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 3:17 pm 
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So you never got the dreaded PAWS eh? Sounds like you're doing very well and I'm glad to hear that!

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:53 am 
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My addiction started like yours...cancer.pain.surgery. oxycodone.oxycontin..off to the races. It came within days of killing me. I lost not a job, but a career! 5 long term [30days to 4 months] rehab stints and felonies for script altering/forgery.
suboxone has been a life saver for me went on suboxone after my last relapse after 18 months clean and the past 2 plus years have been liveable. i only think about the oc's about 100 times a day!!! the combination of daily suboxone with small amounts of oxycontin for servere pain, trust me , I know what I'm talking about, i get relief. my max doseage was 800mg of oxy'c daily for a 5 month period, all bougght off the street. I have lost a half million dollar pension and another 300,000 in rehabs, plus the cost of street OXY's, i was paying 40 cents a mg. Cold turkey, no way it ever worked for me, i need the subutex injections every 4 hrs. yhanks for letting me ramble, good luck, i will keep looking for your posts


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 Post subject: PAWS
PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 11:55 am 
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I'm not exactly sure what the symptoms of PAWS is, but I don't think I had them or at least not very bad. I'm 33 plus days still clean & feeling good. I will continue to check in & let everybody know how I'm doing.

Good luck to all who even attempt to get clean, whether with Suboxone or without.

Peace & Prayers
Bonnie


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 12:07 pm 
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Not insinuating you cant do it on your own but I really really think a support program of some sorts is a must. The odds of relapse are strongly stacked against you other wise. If you can do it on your own then Kudos to you and best of luck. Addictin has a way of rearing its ugly head in times of distress which we all feel at some point in our lives.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 1:57 pm 
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Wow, that's awesome :!: PAWS was one of the main things that drove me back to using if you feel good now I'm really, really happy for you. I'd also suggest a support group it's been my experience that cravings can come out of nowhere sometimes and it's best to have a way to deal with them. Good luck and I'm so happy for you no PAWS sure is a heck of a start!

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