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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 2:44 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
Hmmm, just found out that we're taking off Monday where I work, so in 60 min I'm away until Wednesday.

This is an amazing coincidence, and I detect my HP lurking somewhere in the background (coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous). When I made my sudden decision to jump last night (and throw my Subs into the toilet), it had the feeling of an HP-inspired thought, to the extent that it felt 100% right at the time, and has felt right since.

-- ji

that is AWESOME!!! See, I do not see any real contradiction in my definition anyway of a "spiritual person" in the way I perceive you...you seem "spiritual" to me. I think we just define it differently, and that is ok! I am hugely happy your HP arranged some extra time to help you out...truly truly awesome!

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:44 pm 
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Day 1 winding down, feeling not bad at all. Wouldn't want to go out and run a marathon though!

Didn't enjoy working a half day this morning (though not as bad as I thought), and I pooched out at the gym, just didn't have it in me. I'll try the pool tomorrow, and veg out watching the world cup.

Wishing all the jumpers a good day tomorrow.

-- ji

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 9:52 pm 
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Keep it up bro. This is just a 12day long cold. Nothing more, nothing less. Stay positive up there in toronto! Just on the otherside of the niagara here and loving this weather!! Good luck !


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Fri Jun 27, 2014 11:19 pm 
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dam JI, did not know you had jumped. hope your doing ok, good for you , hang tough, ill check on ya tomorrow.


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 4:41 am 
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Welcome to DAY 2 JI!!

Hurray- you have a "FREE" day under your belt! That is a HUGE accomplishment and I am so so proud of you! (imagine proud mom beaming at you :D )

I'm glad you don't have to work today. You may find your stamina and strength way down, and symptoms increasing today, but truly JI, it is nothing you can't handle and it does not last long. My DAY 3 today, and I feel way way better!! Be a WARRIOR today! Try to keep occupied, but be gentle and easy with yourself. I had the 'lead suit" yesterday, and literally was dragging myself around to do what I had to do, but it is lifting already. You are younger than me, you work out, and you were at a lower dosage, so I have the feeling your process should be at least as easy as mine, and most likely easier. As we agree I think, the mental part is the toughest. For me, just keeping that 'fighting through it' attitude has really helped. You got this!!!
BF

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 8:58 am 
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Thnx for checking in M-man, and for the update BF. Really glad to hear you're feeling better today.

I woke up about where I left off last note, which is not bad. Took a clonidine, and slept thru most of the night, the rest is really helping. One thing I notice is that I've been calm yesterday and this morning, no emotional roller coaster.

Had a 2 hour phone conversation with a new friend (well, relationship status still under negotiation) just before bed last night, no trouble with concentration, laughed alot and I really enjoyed it. Don't remember enjoying anything during past wirhdrawals, just sheer misery, which the present detox is not.

Brazil v Chile at noon, should be a cracker of a game. A lazy day is just what the doc ordered. I'll check back in later.

-- ji

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 5:47 pm 
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Hey JI!!!!! Hows the day going buddy?


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 6:04 pm 
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Her Trainer, hanging in there. My moods has been really good, energy level low, but got out for a while today, something I never could do during past withdrawals.

Haven't had it in me to exercise (other than walking) so far, and probably should be eating better. But hanging in there, will see how it goes tomorrow. Judging kicking back now.

-- ji

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-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 10:13 pm 
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Yeah that first week of shit energy does suck. It doesn't last very long though. I found every day got just a little bit easier and before I knew it, I could get through the day without feeling like I was dragging an anchor around!!!!

Going to the lake tomorrow to bring the dogs swimming. I may wade in as deep as my knees! Brave woman that I am.

you are doing amazing and I am so thrilled for you. Imagine how awesome the summer is going to be sub free!!!! Woo hoo!

Last summer, I drove down south and 1 hour into thr trip, I PANICKED because I was certain I forgot to pack my pills. We had to pull over so I could go through my suitcase all freaked out. I had them of course but ugh, just having to worry about that sucked. Now I can pick up and go anywhere with no worries!!!


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2014 11:54 pm 
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Hey! I have to keep reminding myself, as well, that this is nothing compared to other detoxes I've endured! Hang in there! I think day 2 was the roughest for me as far as energy and emotions, but last night was the hardest time I've had getting to sleep. But I agree, the clonidine works wonders for that! Do you ever take it during the day? If anything I only take 1/2 because it makes me a little sluggish. You are doing f'in awesome! Keep it up!


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 3:52 am 
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Good morning JI- Happy Day 3!! Wow! :D Hope your good mood is holding out and that your energy starts improving soon! Still SO proud of you!!

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 4:11 am 
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Day 3 (maybe - might try sleeping more); woke up feeling more human, less like each arm and leg weighs 200 lbs. Would go for a length swim right now if a pool were open (neighborhood pool opens in a couple hours but my swim sh*t is at my office).

Hope feeling human lasts, but if it doesn't, maybe it will be for real tomorrow.

I have a feeling of wellbeing, but I can also feel the seeds inside me of restlessness, irritability & discontent, which are what will lead me back to drugs (prescription and/or illicit). Last night I didn't have the energy to do my 12 step stuff, so I better get busy with it this morning.

Hope things are going well for BF & mama.

-- ji

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-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:05 am 
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That feeling subsides. Just hang on! Time to find a new hobby that takes alot of focus and your mind away from those feelings. Try knitting. Hahah just kidding! But seriously, a busy focused mind helps alot during this time.

stay strong! You got this!


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:12 am 
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Hey Ji, Can you believe you actually have those 2 days under your belt and are embarking on DAY 3!!!!
I was thinking it was kinda funny how we were "one upping" each other back and forth, (just playing of course) then I surprised you, (and mostly MYSELF!) and just "jumped" before you- ha ha! You can't pass me now- lol!! Except for the fact that you jumped at I think half? the dose I was on, so you probably didnt feel quite as shitty as I did on your day 2, and will most likely pass me up by getting your full energy back before me. That's ok though, I will be happy for you! :D
Excellent that you identified those feelings stirring under the surface that need to be dealt with head on. I am so glad you are taking the steps now to keep your mind and body healthy. Have a peaceful day.
BF

ps. What does your Avatar say??

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:52 am 
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How are you doing Johnny? I hope you were able to get some sleep this weekend, let everyone know how it's going. We all need each other, there are not a lot of us out there, so this is as close to Suboxone Anonymous as we're going to get for now, and that's fine. I need to hear other people's experiences, it definitely helps me.

I'm thinking about you and hoping you're holding tough. I know you can do this!


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:13 pm 
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Thanks for the props, guys. Was just too lazy to update at length yesterday my laptop was at the office, and I hate typing on my phone (especially when lazy).

Just got back from a distance swim, which is something I could not possibly have done on day 1 and day 2. Felt like ice water going into the pool, but 2 lengths warmed me up, muscle memory took over, and it felt pretty good to swim (lots of bathing suit-clad hotties in the water did not make the experience any less enjoyable).

Thinking of going out this aft to watch Costa Rica v Greece and am actually thinking of going out of town on Tuesday (Canada Day) to visit a friend, which seemed unthinkable yesterday. In fact I just texted my friend to see if she's free, I must be getting better, lol.

Trainer that restlessness, irritability and discontent will subside, as you say, but not through my own effort to improve my attitude. That's my powerlessness as an addict; trying to do this stuff by will power never worked for me before. After my first year or two of addiction, I never lasted through three days of withdrawal, ever. I've got something now that I didn't have then.

-- ji

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-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 1:17 pm 
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johnny_ikon wrote:
I've got something now that I didn't have then.

-- ji

That line gave me chills JI. Keep tapping into that "something"!! (lol about me getting better so you will too on my thread- I will keep trying!)

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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 5:28 pm 
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JI you would of been proud of me today. I waded up to my waist (until a fish touched me), then I ran my ass out of the lake. Haha


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:30 pm 
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Trainer I'll always be proud of you, you stuck out a tough run.

OK day 3 winding down, here's my update. Still felt some heaviness and fatigue today, but this might be due partly to clonidine taken middle of night to help with sleep. But much more energy than yesterday for sure, I wuz a zombie yesterday.

As mentioned, did a swim, went out to watch world cup, made plans to be out all Canada Day. On the way home did grocery shopping & cooked a good meal. Last night was dinner a la mama day 5; a bowl of vector cerereal, popcorn & 2 Hershey bars (actually still hungry, and those Hershey bars are calling me, I'm going back to the store).

Definitely feeling more alive today but if my detox goes south in the next day or two, I'll just do a trainer, live my life and tough it out.

Gonna unplug now, talk soon.

-- ji

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"Past and future veil God from our sight; burn both of them with fire."
-- Rumi, Sufi poet and teacher


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 Post subject: Re: just jumped
PostPosted: Sun Jun 29, 2014 8:44 pm 
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Wow! I wouldn't even think you were detoxing from all that you did today! Good for you! And sometimes, those late night "don't give a shit" meals are necessary! Just keep taking it day by day, and next thing you know, you've put together a whole bunch of one days at a time!

Keep posting...


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