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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:00 pm 
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I don't even know where to begin. My story is like so many others so I won't bore you with the details. I have been misusing my pain meds that I probably never needed to begin with. I am prescribed Norco 10/325 QID and Perc. 5/325 QID. I usually run out a few days (4 or5) before I get a refill. Those few days are HELL on earth. This has to end. I was off of all pills for three weeks a couple months ago...scary scary scary. I almost lost my job do to the EXTREAM fatigue I suffered. Nothing helped. I am so scarred to call the suboxone clinic here in town. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I am a single father to a 21 month Boy that I love so much. This has to end and I am afraid of how it is going to end.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:59 pm 
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Stop being ashamed. Go get the help you need. RUN, don't walk. I was up to 600 mg per day just to avoid getting sick. Please, for the sake of that beautiful boy of yours learn from my stupidity. That's where it's headed. There is nothing good that can come from this if you don't. The shame goes away almost immediately. It gets replaced with pride for having the guts to admit you need help. Your drs wont make you feel bad- mine didn't anyway. Go get the subs.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:44 pm 
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I have spent so much time thinking about what is stopping me. It is the shame, and the guilt. I think somewhere in my crazy little head I am still trying to convience myself that I can figure a way out of this mess. In my head I know that I am an addict, but my pride is blocking me. I get that I am answering my own questions. It is nice to have a place to work out my thoughts. :) I am asking for prayers of strength, to do the right thing...not the easy thing.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:21 am 
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How long have you been abusing the pain meds? You sound like you need help. Getting on Suboxone is great. It's not a cure though. You really have to want to stop using. Good luck.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:00 am 
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hey man,, think of it this way,, are you not going to get meds because your scared of what someone thinks of you who sees you for 5 mins once a month, or do you want to live a life on a drug sent from the gods above and be happy and healthy.. so think of 5 mins a month vs every hour of the month being happy.. anyway who cares what someone you dont even know thinks about you? we should only care about what are loved ones think about us, the rest of the people, live and let live..


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:37 am 
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Kmt0403 wrote:
I don't even know where to begin. My story is like so many others so I won't bore you with the details. I have been misusing my pain meds that I probably never needed to begin with. I am prescribed Norco 10/325 QID and Perc. 5/325 QID. I usually run out a few days (4 or5) before I get a refill. Those few days are HELL on earth. This has to end. I was off of all pills for three weeks a couple months ago...scary scary scary. I almost lost my job do to the EXTREAM fatigue I suffered. Nothing helped. I am so scarred to call the suboxone clinic here in town. I am embarrassed and ashamed. I am a single father to a 21 month Boy that I love so much. This has to end and I am afraid of how it is going to end.




Begin here...get rid of your pride and go see the sub Dr. He has heard it all before...you are not unique.
We were all embarrassed and ashamed. Soon it will take more pills for the same effect..you will have to find another Dr. to fill in where this one leave off..that will mean more money and more lies. Soon you will do anything to get your pills to avoid withdrawal. ...take it from someone who was in it for 29 years. I hurt many many people not including what i did to my family and children. The suboxone will take away your withdrawal. It will also take away your desire for Norcos and Percs. It will cover you day and night. You will wake up feeling normal ...like you did before you ever started this stuff.
You will have your life back again. You will be free. Your real friends will support you and be so happy for you. They probably already realize something is wrong with you. When we are high on drugs we look funny in our eyes, tend to be hyper..just not normal..we don't see it..but others do. I wish I had been able to have this chance you now have at your age..I could have had many happy years before I got old and tired. Please...go see the doctor. ...put your feelings aside and go get the help that can one day save your life. Do it for your family, you son, but most of all DO IT FOR YOU!

Good luck to you and keep us posted on how you are doing.
Slipper


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 1:59 am 
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Dear Kmt0403: I joined this forum today, and I am posting for the first time. There are other places on this site where I can tell my own story, but right now, for you, I say this: You are already getting better. Your post is indication of that enough. And you have a son, a shining light to look towards, a precious gift that makes everything worth fighting for. My story is different than yours, and the same. But I have 2 boys, older than yours (but still young), and being their father is the most significant thing that I have ever done or will do. And they were witness to 3-4 years of my struggle. Your baby, on the other hand, need never really know the you that have fallen into this hole, until it is time -- much later -- to talk to him about it. He need not know the father who was sick, he can still grow up with the Daddy who is well. You can and will stand up again, and have time aplenty to enjoy the gift of fatherhood. I went through detox about 90 days ago, and onto Suboxone. It was not really all that bad. Really, the detox process is a walk in the park next to what you are describing in your post, imagine that? I cannot tell you not to be "embarrassed and ashamed," I do not walk in your shoes. But if that is your measure, are you not already about as "embarrassed and ashamed" as you could EVER be, stuck in your current condition? Nobody who knows you is fooled. So you need not fool yourself. Do this, and you will feel like the cock of the walk, because you will feel better, look better, and everyone will notice, and those who care will be proud. Three and a half days, and I have about 95% of my life back. Go kiss your baby boy, check in, check out, get well, do well.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 5:03 pm 
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Wow, thank you all so much for the support. I am overwhelmed thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart. I told my Dr. what was going on and he was great about it. I still don't know if Sub is the right choice for me. I have an appointment in two weeks at the local clinic. My dr referred me to a psychiatrist that specializes in addiction. I want to do this right and while I have heard some amazing success stories about suboxone I am not convinced it is appropriate for me. I am convinced that I need help ( duh right? ) and I will let everyone know what I end up doing. I haven't had any Norco for 3 days and no percs for 5. I have not been sleeping well and my legs are making me a crazy person. I can deal with all that but the fatigue is unbearable. :( I have been using the appetite suppressant Adipex to combat that.
I am glad I found this forum when I did. I have read many of your stories and it breaks my heart that so many of you suffered for so long. Two years is long enough for me...I hope.
Thanks again
K


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 6:41 pm 
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K,

That's GREAT to hear.. Who cares if it's not suboxone? As long as you're taking the steps to address this it's all good.. CONGRATS!!! Man, that's so awesome your Dr treated you well- I'm sure the vast majority of them do, but if you happened to get a crappy one that might have been a tough blow for your recovery.. It sounds like it's all falling into place for you.. Im a sucker for a happy ending- well, happy beginning anyway.. Beginning to a new way of life.. YOU DA MAN!!!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:25 pm 
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kmt- please don't be ashamed.. it's hard i was i'm a newer mommy and i looked like my life was all pulled together but i was taking a ton of percocet for a back injury but way more meds than i should have and way longer. Maybe sub isnt for you and WE all know the pride getting in the way.. i'm glad you sought help. for me sub has worked wonders and i got over taking the rx to the pharmacy or telling another doc what "meds" i am on. Trust me whatever treatment you choose you will be ok as long as you allow them to help you and want to get better. i ve been off percocet for almost 2 months and i feel more strong for sucking it up than letting this addiction get the best of me another day


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