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PostPosted: Wed Jan 29, 2014 11:22 pm 
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@Iwilldothis. I really believe subs have that ceiling at 2mg hence why the taper is usually not so bad from a large dose until you get below 2mg. I would guess the blocker in suboxone does that. Just what I've gathered from 100 hours of reading internet postings when I wanted to quit. You're tapering well and headed towards freedom. If it's an option taper to .25 or even .125. 6 days on each dose. This would be a soft landing. My issue was taking a second dose when I would get the rls during taper no matter what I told myself.

@ Hope. Dude day 4! You got this. And you had a good night sleep, wow. That's big because that's when your brain heals the most. Do you get rls? That's my achkillies heel. Absolutely can't stand it. It drives me crazy. I've been eating ton of bananas and potassium supplement. Today I def felt better. Some depression is creeping in now and I don't want to get out of bed. The normal me suffers from that so I don't know if it's wd symptom or just me. I'm on an ssri but exercise and waiting for it to pass is really the best thing for me. I walked 4 miles this am hoping to tire out the legs good. Gonna. Do legs at gym tomorrow. My biggest thing now is concentration. I re ally have to force myself to get shit done. I'm an accountant so this is a busy time for me and I have my last cpa exam coming up in late feb and have to study. I probably should of waited to do this but I always seemed to have an excuse. Sorry to hear about the heat i heard there's a bad storm up north. Thank god I live in south Florida, I actually have my AC on right now. Lol. No paradise though, in the summer we pay good misery down here.

I'm not overly excited it's over because when I am I get surprised the following day with a rough day again. Sub def different from full agonist. Long and drawn out. I think I'd rather the rougher for shorter time.

Todd


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 5:12 am 
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Todd, I think your right about the 2mg ceiling. Getting to there was easy. I still have to keep up with my plan as I have a small window to do this. In May we are going on a fairly long vacation. I know I won't be 100% by then but should be close, I hope.

Going from 2 to 1mg isn't hell just a pain in the ass. RLS is and was the worst part of withdrawal for me also. It drives you crazy no matter if it's minor or severe. Thats all I have for the most part right now but expect it to subside in a day or 2 as I get a little use to 1mg.

You seem to have come through the worst part pretty good. I'm sure it wasn't easy but you have lots of great people supporting you. I wish you all the best and stay strong, you have this beat. From what I understand the RLS will go away.

I did read a little about RLS. I will just jot down the part on exercise "Daily activity, including moderate aerobic exercise and lower body resistance training can significantly reduce the symptoms of RLS. Swim, go for a walk, take the stairs. Keep in mind that excessive exercise - like training for a marathon - can actually make RLS worse.
There is a lot more on the web site "helpguide.org" along with many more sites when Googled.

You probably already researched RLS but I'm awake and trying to stay busy. Keep up the good fight.

Gary


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 12:02 pm 
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Yeah, fortunately I know people who recently came off of this which drove me to quit after watching them seem.. Normal after a Month! My buddy Brian downtown is 28 , just dropped off at 2mg two months ago after taking it for 8 years and I've never seen such a change in someone in my life. I was hanging out with him the month after he quit and it didn't faze him. I do remember he was Very tired and foggy the first few weeks but after a month we started working out and he looks younger. Makes me wonder how could I let something Dominate my life for 7 years. My mother is sick, I'm going to Get in touch with my father and get shit Right this time. I don't even remember what drove me to use Oxy back in 07. Today is day 5 and I feel amazing. I slept one hour last night, Restless Legs all the time with depression but shit, a couple weeks to get back to living is fucking Exciting. Good luck Todd and IWILLDOTHIS

@Todd
I forget what day your at, I believe day 9? It sounds like your out of it man. Your over that initial shock to your system, now your system just has to get back in synch. From what I've seen with a couple of my friends who just dropped this, they were in a fog for a couple weeks after the Initial terrible week. Just a couple months ago I watched my buddy Brian go through this and I believe he was taking four times more than you when you dropped. .5? .. The depression and RLS go away after three weeks for most people. After that its most likely in your head because of your dependence on this for so long. Just getting back in touch with" life on life's terms" rather than living with this superficial strength that Sub seems to give everyone. You'll be fine bro. Keep it up!

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 6:43 pm 
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Great stuff guys. About the rls and too much exercise making them worse, I'll try to just be steady with the working out and jogging but my stamina is low so I don't think there's a major concern. It is day 9 and all acute symptoms are gone. Now that I said that I'll get rl tonight. My friend told me if I take 3 doses of immodium with a half pint of grapefruit juice it will shut down the rls completely. I think he said there's one other amino acid to take 30 minutes before that though. I'm not trying all that. This shit has to be over soon. I must admit the thought of a full agonist like dulaudid or roxy does go through my head but I call people and play the tape through and it passes. They will come less and less as time passes. That I remember.

Dan
Being up all night with the rls sucks. It sounds like your taking it like a man, it won't get harder from here. Just remember your brain is healing. This is good. Your brain has already began to produce doubermine again just hasn't built up yet.

I can't believe I havnt tasted that gross orange medicine in 9 days. Thank god.

I am a little depressed when I first get up and my sleep isn't perfect hence my concentration isn't perfect and I'm a little restless. Way better then the first week though. I hope I get back to normal soon so I can start studying.

Lol. What's normal? Listen to me!!

Love ya guys.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 7:58 pm 
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@Todd/gamma

What's up brother. Good to hear your not having anymore bad withdrawals! Its fucking amazing that you came off of this so easily. Its truly inspiring and I'm truly thankful for coming across your post last Friday. You sound like your on your way man. BTW: Never mix Benzo's (Klonopin.,XNX) with grapefruit juice...*deadly*
G4U man and keep your head up! :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 8:59 pm 
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Thanks bud. I was on a low dose so I guess that's why is wasn't aweful. But for me it was aweful. I'm not tuff with wd at all. I'm actually in class right now and I feel my legs burning, then my head goes. "You're not gonna sleep tonight, your legs are gonna drive you crazy, this will never end". Crazy that mind of mine.

I also have prob been over doing it with running and walking so whatever. I'll take 3 Advil and watch tv or try to study.

Also know I'm noticing emotion again. Fear, anxiety, etc. I have a feeling the next chapter of work is ahead of me. That's ok. Probably right where I need to be.

I just want that day to come when I feel at peace

Todd gemma


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 3:14 am 
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Day 10. 2am. Of coarse I'm up. Why wouldn't I be. Son of a ...

My legs hurt but not as bad as they did. Bearable for sure. Now I now I'm getting better. I think one problem is waking up at 10:30 everyday. The norm for me to fall asleep is 2-3am when I get up that late. I bet if I made myself get up at 7am is be sleeping fine. As a tax accountant I can work in the office or at home remotely. Thank god

? I have cough medicine from last year. Not a heavy one. Chera something AC. I think it has codeine. Would this help my legs at night or is it just using and I should stay away. I'm prob about done I would think. What do you guys think. I can't find anything online about it for wd


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 9:59 am 
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thats a no no, buddy...stay away, stay very far awayyyyy :)

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 10:08 am 
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Hi Todd,

I agree with He-Reigns about the cough syrup - it is habit-forming and would only set you back. It's so easy to always be looking for "something" to ease our way out. We're addicts, and that's what we do. You have 10 days invested into this, and the worst is most likely past you now. Each day should begin getting better and better. Hang tough Todd, you got this!

Karen


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 11:22 am 
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What's up todd!

Your in the beginning part of the PAWS that people always seem to bring up. Try to focus on that and accept that your going to feel it for a month(anxiety, depression, fatigue, guilt, doubts). That's all temporary man. I know for a fact that this is the most difficult part to get through. I dropped the ball 3 years ago because of that. Wait it out a month , you'll be encouraged. BTW That cough syrup will shoot you right back into addiction . Stay focused bro! gL Dj

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 3:55 pm 
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Wow ok I get the picture with the Couch Syrup. Idea gone! I know my addict mind is way stronger then me, especially now, and I definitely know this is a critical time with the PAWS. I so don't want to go back. I fell asleep at 7:30am last night, but my legs weren't absolutely crazy. I felt them but definitely bearable. I've been taking the potassium supplements am and pm and the L-Tyrosine with my mutli every am. Who knows if its helping or not but Im sure it isn't hurting. I journeled last night and watched tv. I tried to go to bed at like 4am and after 10 minutes and still awake I just got up and watched tv, saying "ok not yet" The daily reflections book (I think its AA) was smack on today for me or anyone going through any uncomfortable time. Ive been saying "thy will be done" all day.

Im gonna leave office soon and go to gym, then Whole foods for Kale protein shake. Then me and wife have a massage at 7, then therapy at 8:15. No meeting in there but I think that's a positive plan. I wont go to hard at gym, just keep my heart rate up for 40 minutes of so then sauna.

I will get on my knees and thank god for another day and hopefully go to bed.

Thank you guys so much. My mind is definitely playing that game right now. I know one person I can prob call to get something if I wanted, I wish I didn't remember her number!! Whatever maybe I'll forget it, gotta trust God will take care of it. Besides theyre just thoughts and I don't keep them in, I tell everyone. I also make a list last night of all the things that would happen if I use. Scary list. Then my sponsor said, ok now make a list of all the things you're gonna have by staying sober....

With the cough medicine, cant I just take one? JK LOL thanks for keeping from my excellent ideas. Love all of you!

Todd - Gemma Day 11!!!!!! ( I think)


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 31, 2014 6:49 pm 
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Wow, Todd, you are doing great. I'm proud of you for coming here and writing out all of those thoughts that are in your head. Believe me, everyone who is going through wd will have those thoughts but most of them will never mention it. You are doing the best thing to keep yourself from acting on those thoughts, telling on yourself!

I love the idea of you and your wife having a massage together. What a great idea to reward yourself with something like that after the week you just got through!

OK, Dude, stay strong! And....don't call that phone number! Isn't it crazy how many things we forget every day. But the one thing that we wish we could forget never goes away?????

Q

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 1:40 am 
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Thanks brother. I want to leave no rock unturned. Also if anyone's trying to get off subs and you've been lurking around every internet site like i did for months with failed attempt after failed attempt. This forum is the real deal. These people on here with the experience of jumping are the best thing i found. Way better then all the horror stories I came across everywhere else.

I had a good day today. The gym was a turning point. For the first time on the treadmill I felt those natural endorphins while jamming to some music. I wanted to scream and raise my fists like I just won an mma fight. Then massage with wife. Yes it was cool. This lady was strong as hell and did a number on me. When she asked why I was so tense I wanted to say "well I took diliudud for a while and then switched to suboxone which I've been detoxing from for 9 days" lol. I would of loved to see the look on her face. Lol. Then therapy which was good cause my fog wasn't dulling me. And now, 1am and still up, son of a bitch. Feel the legs a little but not too bad. Is sleep the last thing to come, at least normal sleep?

Hot yoga in the am then study time.

Todd Gemma.


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:15 pm 
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You sound great Todd, it's unbelievable how great you are doing. You are right . This is the best forum and people (friend) out there. I like you searched many forums. Everyone here is so positive and do not judge you. They are kind, knowledgeable and really care about people and what we are trying to do.

Reading your posts has given me a lot of hope to finally end this train wreck I've been on. Don't get me wrong, I needed the Suboxone to straighten out but now it's time see the world with no drugs in my system.

I am very happy for you. Keep up the great work and soon I will be just as happy as you are.

Gary


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 12:25 pm 
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Agreed.
Your people's story's and sense of optimism helps A lot Especially when your feeling down. Everything I read reminds me that this feeling of withdrawal that you begin to believe will never let up is just Temporary. Dj :mrgreen: Day 7

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:21 pm 
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I think my next step is getting up at 8am everyday no matter what. I'd say 3 days of that and sleep will much improve. Last night prob fell asleep at 5am woke up at 1pm. So I am sleeping. Just the wrong times.

I'm trying to study but can't concentrate. I have till the end of the month to take this last CPA exam. Do you guys think my concentration will come back soon?

Todd Gemma

Dan. How are you doing?


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 5:44 pm 
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Hi Todd, I totally understand your struggle to sleep "normal" hours. When I was using I got into the habit of taking a lot more pills at night when I didn't need to drive anywhere. I'd be up until it got light, my husband would bring our son to school and I'd sleep during the day until I went to pick our son up around 3pm. I wanted to feel that high all night long while I wasn't needing to do anything for anyone else.

When I started sub in Oct. 2011 I couldn't easily break the habit. It took until about March of 2013 before I was able to get back on a normal schedule. But I also didn't try very hard either. It can be done and I wish you very good luck getting back to sleep at night! :)

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 6:08 pm 
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Thanks Amy. I think I'm having trouble telling the difference between wd or paws and just me normal. During my 12 years I def had ups and downs.

Now now now!!! I want everything one and if I don't get it I cry. Think I'm an addict? Lol

Ran in the park today and sat under a tree watching kids play and family's BBQ and I hit my needs and just said please.

If anyone has been following my Journy and been trying to get off subs don't give up. Even when you fail don't beat yourself up. Is just that, a Journy. I have been waiting. For months to not have to go in that pill dispenser sun mon tues... You know the one. I would cut my pieces and put them in there. I threw that thing out.

Btw. Looking back. Klonopin really did nothing for me but make me drosy and wd. All the things these people told me is the remedy. They're the remedy. Aa has been my remedy. I'm not out of the woods yet but maybe tomorow I will be.

Love you'll very much.

Gemma


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PostPosted: Sat Feb 01, 2014 11:36 pm 
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OMG! It's a TOTAL love fest in here!!!!

Let me get in on it! :lol:

I Wuv you all too!!! :P

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 03, 2014 12:49 am 
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Day 12-13 Wow was that the worst Super Bowl I can remember.

I went to a meeting this am and came home and started reading for my test Thursday. Then it happened, the thing I've been waiting for. I was tired! Not tired from exhaustion from not sleeping the night before but tired like comfortable. My body was releasing those endorphins the relax you in the perfect way to go to sleep. And so I did. I took a 2 hour nap and didn't wake up in a cold sweat. I still
Have a passing symptom here and there but the erky feeling is pretty much gone and I can sleep. Not perfect yet but I can. Of you are doing this don't quit because this is better then the feeling of those symptoms just disappearing in 20 minutes, they're real and natural. I'm sure I can expect some paws and bouts of symptoms but I know it's only gonna get better from here, and faster because I'm sleeping now. That's the biggie. I think when your sleeping you heal at a much faster rate. "Real sleep"
Not knocked out sleep.

Had I not felt this I wouldn't be so grateful to lay down and feel normal. If there was a majic pill(which believe me I searched endlessly for) I wouldn't have the gratitude over these little things we take for granted.

Now I'm in protection phase. Whatever I have to do to protect me from the next one I'm gonna do because I don't ever want to feel like that again.

Seymour Hoffmann could easily be me. For the grace of god there go I.

In this moment I understand what they mean when they say it's like hitting the lotto !

And with that I thank all of you and hope from the bottom of my heart I help others who read my Journy and the support I received along the way.

We are not unique, we are the same. I love you all.

Todd Gemma


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