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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:51 pm 
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Hi all,

I have been a lurker on this forum for about the last year or so, but decided to post because finally I got up the courage to finally jump off of suboxone. I am going to use this thread as a daily journal so I can see myself making progress. Also, I hope my shared experiences will be useful to others who are in this same process or are thinking about stopping suboxone.

Let me first go into a bit of my (drug) history. I am currently 29 years old, live alone, and have a full time job. Somehow I managed to stay completely straight-edge through high schoool. I started using drugs when I was 18 in my first semester of college. Of course, it started with weed and alcohol. The next semester I moved into my University's dorms and quickly became friends with a group of people that loved to party (as most 18 year olds do). I experienced DXM, ecstacy, LSD, mushrooms, and opiates for the first time in this environment. There was no consistent drug that I used all the time except weed, so I would call myself a regular poly-drug user until about 2005. In 2005, I was diagnosed with testicular cancer and had 8 rounds of chemo followed by RPLND surgery. I came out of the surgery fully cured from the cancer, but it was a long and painful recovery. The doctors gave me a huge stock of percocet for the pain and I had a lot leftover from this stash even after I was healed.

Here and there, I liked to pop percocet for the euphoria. I have always been prone to depression, and the percs made this completely go away. At that same time, I friend of mine had started using OC, and recommended them to be over the percs. Quickly, I was up to an 80-160mg a day habit. This went on for about 2-3 years, to about 2008 when I started using dope because it was easier to find a lot cheaper than OC. I used dope until the end of 2008 and was still a functioning addict at this time but was getting sick of spending all of my money on drugs and wanted to get out of the daily grind lifestyle of scoring and using. Another friend of mine had recently gone into recovery with suboxone, so I was able to get some from him illegitimately for about 2 years, until the beginning of 2011, when I finally found my own doctor. My doctor started me at 4 mg, but was able to taper down to 2 mg at the start of 2012 and tapered down further to 1.5 a day in about the last 2-3 weeks. I had marked off 5/31/12 on my calendar as my quitting date, took off work until 6/11/12 and made a doctor's appointment for my first day of not using sub. My doctor gave me some scripts for clonidine, lorazepam, and clonazepam to help with the withdrawal symptoms. I suppose I should also make it clear as to why I am quitting subs. For the longest time, suboxone has been the greatest thing for me--it allowed me to escape the"using grind" and live a relatively normal life without having to worry much. But after being on it for this long time following a long opiate habit, I cannot even remember what it feels like to not be on some kind of opiates consistently. Subs also makes me very tired in the evenings and I have a couple of other physical side effects going on from it that I hope quitting will relieve. I have absolutely no desire to go back to doing pills or dope and am confident that I will stay away from it all if I can get off subs successfully.

My last dose of sub was 1.5mg on 5/30/12 at 6:30 PM CDT. That puts me at almost 48 hours and I am still not feeling much in the way of withdrawal symptoms. I had some restlessness and a headache last night and took a clonidine and a lorazepam and (successfully) went to sleep (thanks to the benzo). I woke up this morning not feeling the greatest, but not really feeling all that bad. I am expecting the WD symptoms to not hit me harder until tomorrow or Sunday when all of the sub is out of my system entirely. Right now, I am more just nervous of the uncertain and of what is yet to come. Well, thanks for reading this, everyone. I will do my best to keep daily updates on my condition for the foreseeable future or at least until I go back to work in a little over a week.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:10 pm 
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Hey mw.stoner, and welcome to the forum!

That's great that you got some time off work, and some meds from your doctor to help you with any withdrawals you might have. Hopefully the worst will be behind you by the time you have to return to work.

When you say 'dope' are you referring to heroin, or what? I know different people refer to different drugs as dope. I know some people who call marijuana dope, which I always thought was weird...but I always called crank dope.

Good luck, and I look forward to reading how you are doing.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 6:44 pm 
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Taurus wrote:
When you say 'dope' are you referring to heroin, or what?


Hi Taurus! I was referring to heroin. I never injected it and always snorted it, just like I had been doing with the percocet and OC.

This afternoon, my most annoying symptom has been my restless legs and arms. The other biggest symptom is fatigue. Just been on the couch most of the time watching some HBO shows to keep me distracted.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 7:02 am 
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I don't want to second guess you, because I know you are already on your path. But what made you decide to jump off sub at the relatively high dose of 1.5 mg? Were you having trouble going to a lower dose than 1.5 so you decided to just get it over with? Or did your doctor suggest jumping at 1.5?

I'm tapering right now, but I'm going slow and steady. I started at 16 mg/day, which I had been on since October 2011. I started tapering in Feb. and so far I'm down to 8 mg/day. So far I've experienced very few signs of withdrawal, for which I'm grateful.

I hope that your next couple of weeks aren't too hard! I'm glad you'll be posting your experience here so we can keep track of how you're doing.

Amy

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 10:12 am 
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Amy-Work In Progress wrote:
I don't want to second guess you, because I know you are already on your path. But what made you decide to jump off sub at the relatively high dose of 1.5 mg? Were you having trouble going to a lower dose than 1.5 so you decided to just get it over with? Or did your doctor suggest jumping at 1.5?


Hi Amy! When I originally started using sub, I was getting it "under the radar" from a friend. I honestly wasn't sure how much to take, and all I heard is that the stuff was extremely strong. Therefore, I started taking 4mg and that became my main dose ever since. After I started seeing my doctor, he kept me on 4mg, since I was asymptomatic at that dose and was clearly above the ceiling level.

So, when I decided to taper, I went down to 3 mg over the course of 2 months, then to 2 mg, then to 1.5 mg. I had set my "jump date" quite a while in the past and wanted to stick to it, and with still being at 1.5, that is where I decided to do it. I know I could have probably tapered lower, but I just didn't manage to do it fast enough to keep with my selected "jump date".

Oh well. Today is day 3. I passed out at about 11 PM last night after napping on and off during the day and woke up at about 5 AM and couldn't go back to sleep. Not bad. I was feeling pretty crummy this morning.. aches and pains, and some sweats. I just feel totally drained as well. I took a clonidine and that seemed to help mildly.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 2:23 pm 
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Hey MW I jumped off 2mg on May 23rd at 12noon. Im currently 10 days off & by day 4-5 you will start to feel better. Of course it will come and go, tho. I took 11days off work for the jump and have to return June 4th. Honestly I feel better now at day 10 than when i was taking everyday, but the sleepless nights are running me down REAL bad! I WILL NOT GIVE IN THO!! I dont wanna sound like a know-it-all (trust me I dont know much) except that sitting around all day on the couch doesnt help. GET UP & GET OUT. Even without much sleep it is amazing how moving around restarts the normal functions of the brain and body. Vitamin intake and healthy foods will also help. Nothing will stop the "drag a$$" feeling but that feeling will linger longer if you try to "wait it out". Make yourself do something physical and it WILL help...I promise.
Good Luck MW and remember your not alone.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 02, 2012 3:16 pm 
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95shakin wrote:
GET UP & GET OUT. Even without much sleep it is amazing how moving around restarts the normal functions of the brain and body. Vitamin intake and healthy foods will also help. Nothing will stop the "drag a$$" feeling but that feeling will linger longer if you try to "wait it out". Make yourself do something physical and it WILL help...I promise.


Hi 95! It looks like we both took about the same amount of time off work, hoping that we would be good enough to go back.

Thanks for the suggestion regarding increasing physical activity. The last couple days it's been rough with the no energy so I had been on the couch most of the time. Today, so far at least, I have been sitting on the computer. Hey, baby steps, right? :)

I do have a gym membership and hope to drag myself there after this weekend or take a bike ride next week if I can manage it.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 11:12 am 
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Baby steps is exactly right MN. I stayed in bed for the most part during days 1-4, I wont lie to you!
SHITTY does'nt quite grasp the feeling does it?
I got lucky with the holiday (memorial day) and 4 day work weeks to be able to swing 11 days off work straight. I knew the worst would be done by then and figured I could "push" thru a 4 day work week after those 11. Its not like I havent been caught without meds at work before. Miserable? yes. But, it is a mind game also. When you get to feeling "OH, so tired I cant make it" or "Maybe I should leave work....tell em im sick or something" DONT. Thats all in your mind and you CAN push thru. 10 mins later you will be a lil bit better and see that its possible to PUSH THRU!

Good Luck My friend and hope to see you posting back.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 12:10 pm 
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Thanks 95! It is a SHITTY feeling as you said but honestly I am doing tons better than I ever thought I would. I had A LOT of anxiety about jumping off and it is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be!

Here I am on day 4 and the worst symptoms are still fatigue and RLS. No sweats or body temperature issues as of yet, which is surprising to me because that was one of the most hardcore WD symptoms that I always used to get from OC, percocet, or dope when I was using. Managed to go hang out with a few friends last night at a buddy's house who was having a bonfire and grilling out. I got tired quick but I still had fun. More updates to come...


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2012 2:21 pm 
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Thats the spirit!! MN. I personally only had the stomache knot, chills, slight fever etc fot 2-3 days. Now the only thing is RLS and Insomnia which will eventually subside as well. NOTHING AT ALL like Methadone or OCs. Yes, ive also "tried" to come off both of those with HORRIBLE W/D. Subs W/D arent near that bad, just takes longer to get completely away from em. As long as you keep positive (thats the struggle,aint it) you can push thru the tiring out part. Ill stick around for support bud as I feed off your situation to keep myself positive, also. Good Job and keep up that attitude!


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2012 12:12 pm 
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Hey guys, here I am on day 5. Sleep last night was rough with the most intense RLS I have had so far. I slept maybe 5 hours with the help of a clonidine and a lorazepam. AGH!

95, I know exactly what you meant when you said you are "twitching and flopping like a perch on the bank". :wink:

Anyway, still feeling better than expected for 5 days in. Energy is still low, but I managed to have a pretty productive day yesterday all things considered. Went to get my car washed in the morning, stopped by the grocery store and got some healthy eats, fresh fruits (BANANAS as so many of you suggested) and some salad stuff. Also got these Naked coconut juices that supposedly have tons of potassium in them. After shopping, went to see The Avengers for the 2nd time with a buddy and after that stopped by to visit with my parents for a bit. I was TIRED last night after all that.

Going to make myself go out and do SOMETHING productive today, even if it isn't hardcore physical activity yet. Keep on keeping on, guys.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:17 pm 
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Day 6. I feel crappy today because I barely slept last night; I got maybe 4 hours tops. Agh. RLS was bothering me last night so I was having a hard time trying to relax to fall asleep. Clonidine didn't help much.

Super tired and blah feeling today, which is a bit of a downer because yesterday I felt like I had a lot of energy during the day. Not at all today. Going to take it easy and stay home.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2012 3:58 pm 
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The ups and downs are completely normal for Suboxone wd. As time goes by, the ups and downs level out. I know it's a pain in arse, but just keep hanging in there.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 4:15 pm 
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Thanks, Romeo.

Day 7. My energy has really tanked and my body has felt like it weighs a million pounds for the last 2 days. I managed to sleep between 5 and 6 hours last night thanks to a clonidine and 2 ambien. I'm kind of surprised that I felt like I was doing better on days 4 and 5. Oh well, I am trying my hardest to stay active, even if it is only in small ways. I cleaned the house, did some laundry, and I'm about to run out to the grocery store to restock on fresh fruit. I have no idea why, but ever since I jumped, I have been craving fruit & veggies like crazy. Maybe my body is just loving the vitamins? Blueberries, raspberries, and bananas have really hit the spot.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 1:22 pm 
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Day 8!! A FULL WEEK SUB FREE!!!!! :D :D

The last 2 days were kinda rough but I'm feeling a bit better today. RLS is non-existent during the day but re-occurs at night. Clonidine still seems to help. My appetite is still good. I've been really putting effort into eating healthy nearly everyday this week and I think it's paying off a bit. Tomorrow I am hoping that I will have enough energy to go on a bike ride.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 3:02 pm 
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I went thru the RLS at night too.. It took awhile to completely pass but after about 8-12 days (I'm sorry, I'm TERRIBLE with days) it didn't really keep me up too bad.. That's always been my personal hell in any type of withdrawal so I was pretty relieved when I realized that it was gonna be fairly tolerable..

You're doing awesome.. You mentioned in one of your other posts that sub WD's were nothing like WD's from OXY's or methadone & I would have to say that it's pretty similar for me.. I can handle sluggishness & nighttime RLS pretty good- it's the feeling like hammered dog shit WD's from the oxy's that NEVER seemed to get better (mine got worse & worse for 3+ weeks) that I couldn't handle..


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 4:32 pm 
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Dude, oxy is no doubt the worst withdrawal ever. Even worse than dope, IMO. I think it's partially because Oxy has the time release mechanism.

Nogroovin, congrats on your jump from sub as well. How many days out are you and what was your dose when you jumped?


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 07, 2012 7:04 pm 
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You're not the first person to say that actually. Oxy / hydro and some of the other synthetic pills are meant to be harder to come off than heroin / morphine.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 11:31 am 
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Hey all, day 10, off subs!!!

Yesterday and today I've been feeling GREAT in the mornings. So good, in fact, that it's almost like I'm back to my old self. I ran a bunch of errands yesterday during the day and was quite productive. Today I've got a few things planned as well! I've been reluctant to exercise up to this point as I've still been feeling a bit weak physically but today I think I might go to the gym for 30 mins. Just to prove that I can do it. Subs always robbed my motivation to exercise, so I want to see if being off them makes a good difference.

My nights are not quite so good. Once I get to about 9-10 PM, I get really tired and achy and RLS kick in a bit. Sleeping is still a toss-up; clonidine is not helping so much anymore on that front. I took a clonidine on Thursday night and got 4.5 hours. Last night I was so tired but also restless so I took an ambien and a lorazepam, which of course, knocked me out for 8 hours. Going to try again tonight sans medication. Sleep is the single issue that is making me nervous about returning to work on Monday. I think I might get some melatonin to see if that helps.


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 09, 2012 6:36 pm 
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Hey MW, Man its weird reading your post sounds like ME typing it!! :) Bud, your doing great! It seems you finally get a clear sense that things WILL be normal again eventually and it gives you more hope and determination, doesnt it. Dont QUIT!! Your bound to have BLAH times but you will also have those "almost normal" times, too. It does keep getting better. Yesterday I had a good day (except for the Dr visit) then Today I felt really worn down & didnt do much. Its weird that you feel better in the AMs as for me I get my peak after luch from 2pm-8pm. I wish I could give you some great advice about the sleep thing, but unfortunately I find myself batteling the same funk-ass problem! lol.



as always...hang in there! WE WILL WIN!!!


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