It is currently Mon Aug 21, 2017 6:11 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3
Author Message
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 7:28 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
Posts: 565
Location: in front of my laptop
Hello. I just wanted to tell you that I have been following your progress and just wanted to say GREAT JOB! It's so good to hear a story of someone doing well off of sub. Take care!!!!

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jul 31, 2012 7:00 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
tearj3rker wrote:
\
Can I ask you outta curiosity. Other than the residual withdrawal, how does it feel different being off Subs than on subs? Is your memory of your time on Sub a bit foggy?


Hey tearj3rker! Since the acute WD stopped, I feel a lot better being off subs than the entire time I was on them for 3+ years. I wouldn't say that I feel less foggy mentally, per se, but my emotions are a lot more stable than while I was on subs. When I was on them, if I passed my daily dose time and was late taking my dose, I would get really bad anxiety. That doesn't happen anymore! Also, I used to take my sub after I got home from work every day, and it would zonk me out every night. I can actually do stuff at night now, which is an incredible feeling in itself.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:00 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 15, 2011 11:50 pm
Posts: 58
tearj3rker wrote:
Congrats mw that's really fantastic.

Can I ask you outta curiosity. Other than the residual withdrawal, how does it feel different being off Subs than on subs? Is your memory of your time on Sub a bit foggy?



Mine sure was I have like these memory gaps but they come and go. Like I am remembering stuff from when I was a kid and my teenage/early adult years. Stuff I blocked out while using opiates. Its kinda strange but kinda interesting in a good way!

_________________
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” -Ernest Hemingway


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:05 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 15, 2011 11:50 pm
Posts: 58
mw.stoner wrote:
feeling unmotivated



I personally think it's pretty normal the lack of demotivation coming and going.

The rest of your post your right people can do it!!


Again good job!! You rock! :] Is there anything your doing this far in your progress that is helping?

_________________
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” -Ernest Hemingway


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Aug 01, 2012 1:07 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 15, 2011 11:50 pm
Posts: 58
Ready wrote:
Tell mama I got the flu........:)




Haha tell mama I got the flu for a month she will say get your ars to the drs... lmao :lol: :lol:

_________________
“The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.” -Ernest Hemingway


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:57 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
Hi everyone! I just wanted to make a quick post and say that I am still here and still sub free! The 30th of this month will mark 6 months off sub for me.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:59 pm 
Offline
6 Months or More
6 Months or More
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 08, 2011 2:41 pm
Posts: 207
Congratulations! What's the best part about being sober?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 7:01 am 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jun 10, 2012 10:12 am
Posts: 565
Location: in front of my laptop
[font=Comic Sans MS]Hi there MW, what a great thing to be thankful for!!! I am so proud of you!
Way to go! Really. I've followed this thread from the beginning and was so happy to read some good
news!

How are you feeling these days? I'll bet your motivation is a lot better than it was. At least I hope so.
Tell us all about it if you feel like it. I'd love to hear how the last 5 months have been.
Anyway, just wanted to say congratulations and keep up the good work! Take Care~[/font]

_________________
"All great changes are preceded by chaos."
~Deepak Chopra


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2012 9:11 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
Goinstrong wrote:
Congratulations! What's the best part about being sober?


Thanks Goinstrong! The best part of being sober is the freedom of not relying on that little drug everyday to feel that feeling of security. I can be out doing something no matter the time of the day and don't have to interrupt myself to take a dose.

invisiblemovement wrote:
Hi there MW, what a great thing to be thankful for!!! I am so proud of you!
Way to go! Really. I've followed this thread from the beginning and was so happy to read some good
news!

How are you feeling these days? I'll bet your motivation is a lot better than it was. At least I hope so.
Tell us all about it if you feel like it. I'd love to hear how the last 5 months have been.
Anyway, just wanted to say congratulations and keep up the good work! Take Care~


Thanks for the support, invisiblemovement. I feel pretty good. I can't say that I am significantly happier or that my life has drastically changed, but I do feel more "in control" of my life. Motivation is still returning, I think. I had motivation issues even before I used opiates, so it's hard to tell. I will add some other details when I am feeling more motivated to write :lol:


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 12, 2013 2:43 pm 
Offline
One Month or More
One Month or More
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 7:22 pm
Posts: 35
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing MW.?
I am preparing to taper and jump this summer, after 5 years on Sub, some of those years at a crazy high dose.
I am down to 8 mg now from 12 last month. I
I hope you are still doing well...I have to say I am very cautious about which threads I read from this section. I never had anxiety before the sub, but in the last couple years have it bad with full blown panic attacks if I don;t keep it in check.

Your thread is one of the precious few that I have read and read over again. I sincerely want to thank you for coming here and sharing your experiences with us. Your story has given me hope, that there is HOPE for ME. I will do this or die trying...it's become as simple as that.

Much love to ya!


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 2:04 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
Hello everyone! Back in March, I received a PM from rule62 that jmdear and others wanted to know how I was doing.

Well... I didn't answer back then, because sadly, I was using. Ugh! I am so, so ashamed to admit this here after my long detailed chronicle of quitting sub last year. In late February and early March, I stupidly thought it would be a good idea to try 60mg of morphine that my friend offered to me. I thought, "no big deal, right?" WRONG! Within a month, I was using heroin again. I cannot even begin to describe the guilt I have regarding going back to opiates without really thinking through the consequences and the result was falling into the hole again.

If anything, I guess this was a learning experience. A costly one. I went back to sub in April starting at 2mg and tapered down to .75 mg for a few weeks and my last dose was Monday, 7/1 at 6:00 PM, so I'm coming up on 48 hours after jumping off. As I did previously with my last jump, I'll update my progress here. I'm curious to see if the symptoms will be as (or more) severe or less so when I jumped from 1.5mg last year. Unfortunately, I only have off of work until next Monday, so I'm hoping I'll at least be good enough to go back by then and won't have to call in sick for a few days. Having the 11 days off for my previous jump was nice, but I don't have that luxury this time around.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Got my reply
PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 8:18 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2011 12:35 am
Posts: 2802
Location: Southwest
Hey mw.stoner,

Glad to have you back with the living. Don't beat yourself up too bad for slipping, most all of us have done the same thing. It's called Addictive Behavior.

But the big question is: Why are you not staying on your Suboxone? I understand the need to feel free of all drugs, including Sub, but you have a history now of returning to opiates again once your guard is down. What's wrong with staying on a small dose that will stop the cravings? Dude, you could have died this last time. You need to work on your recovery for awhile before you're let out with the wolves. Do you hate Suboxone so bad that you'll risk another relapse?

Please think this one through very carefully.

Rule62

_________________
Don't take yourself so damn seriously


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 9:39 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:39 am
Posts: 4028
Location: Sitting at my computer
mw.stoner, I mean no disrespect, but your last post talked about your relapse back onto opiates, graduating up to Heroin then you're talking about getting off Suboxone. I'm glad you came back and posted, but I'd have liked to see you talk about WTH it is you're going to do differently with your recovery this time.

I'm not sure, but I have to wonder if you're rationalizing in your head "this all just started with me using that 60mg or morphine, had I not done that, I'd be fine." I hope that's not what you're thinking because if it is, you're in worse shape than you know.

I only say what I've said because I've slipped a number of times since getting off Suboxone. I understand you're ashamed and whatnot, but you need to get over that and figure out what you're going to do differently this time. LEARN from your experience, Bud. Learn and use that knowledge to strengthen your recovery.

I hope I didn't come across as too harsh.

_________________
Be kind to yourself. Our character defects do NOT define who we are!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:14 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
Hey rule62 and Romeo, thanks for the replies. I wouldn't be posting here in the first place if I didn't want to hear others' perspectives on my situation, so I definitely appreciate the honesty and straight talk.

Let me provide a bit more detail about what happened and where my head is at (and where it's been in the recent past). Basically, I had been off of subs from June 2012 to February and doing pretty well. A friend of mine who doesn't know about my history with opiates offered me 60mg morphine for free, and stupidly, I didn't think it through and didn't say no. Those 2 pills sat on my desk for about a week, and I thought, what the heck? So I took them, enjoyed a night of being high and didn't think much of it. I kept using the morphine here and there (weeks apart) until sometime in March when another friend said he had been getting good dope lately. I thought to myself, if I can responsibly use morphine once in a blue moon, why not dope too? I know that it an entirely idiotic way of thinking and I'm still not sure how I was able to rationalize that behavior, but I did. So I used dope once and I was fine, of course. Then the next time I used for 2 days in a row and was still fine after. Then a week later, 3 days in a row. Then the crushing WD hit afterwards and reality closed in faster than ever. I was so ashamed and wracked with guilt. So I got back on sub around the beginning of April at 2 mg a day. Moving forward, I've tapered down to 1.5, then 1, then .75. I thought that a long holiday weekend such as this would be the next good opportunity I could get to jump, so I took it. I don't want to stay on sub right now because I've been getting it from a friend, not my old doctor, and I don't want to go back to him if I can help it. As far as preventing future relapses of opportunity, the "friend" who provided the dope is out of my life and won't be returning. Currently, there's no one around me or in my life who uses. And I really do want to stay clean this time.

For anyone else that has had slip ups after quitting sub, what set you off and how did you avoid similar situations in the future?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 1:22 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster
User avatar

Joined: Sun May 27, 2012 4:35 pm
Posts: 45
Hey all. I'm on day 4 of no sub after jumping off from .75mg daily since April. So far, so good for the most part. All I've felt so far is minor fatigue and some minor RLS at night and of course, insomnia, which is probably the worst part.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 4:31 pm 
Offline
Long Time Member
Long Time Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat May 01, 2010 3:46 pm
Posts: 461
Location: South Florida
mw.stoner wrote:
I thought to myself, if I can responsibly use morphine once in a blue moon, why not dope too? I know that it an entirely idiotic way of thinking and I'm still not sure how I was able to rationalize that behavior, but I did.


Hey MW,

I know I suffer from the idea that this time will be different or maybe I can use or drink like a regular (non addict) person even though I have so much evidence that I can not. In this thinking, the memories of all the terrible consequences I have had in the past are nowhere to be found or just seem like no big deal. Even though I have been arrested, hurt my family and friends badly etc. We need to have some way to compete with this, a plan in place etc.. As to what that is? I got a lot out of AA but thats not for everyone. Do you do any recovery stuff beside sub?

Hope ur feeling good, don't be ashamed of a slip just learn from it. :)

GB


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:04 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 12:46 pm
Posts: 18
mw.stoner wrote:
Hey guys, here I am on day 5. Sleep last night was rough with the most intense RLS I have had so far. I slept maybe 5 hours with the help of a clonidine and a lorazepam. AGH!


I maintained on 4 mg for about 4 months, switched to full agonists for June to get the stacked doses out of my system, and quit the agonists last weekend with an ultra-low dose, extremely rapid sub taper. For future reference, I used those mentholated pain patches for the RLS. I get it in my lower calves, and the patches really help. They're available over the counter in many dollar stores and drug stores. As long as you remove them or move them to another spot after 8 hours, they're very safe.

Like you, I averaged 4-5 hours of sleep during the kick, although I did suffer chills and sweats since I was getting rid of stacked sub doses with just small amounts of an agonist to get me through, since tapering didn't work for me, due to underlying conditions. Amazing! I was never able to sleep trying to get off even 0.35 g of extremely stepped-on, insufflated gear. (I am small-framed and easily affected by tiny doses of anything. I should've been maintained on half the sub dose I took – ideally less – and for half the amount of time. A couple weeks, maybe, would've been enough.) I took 0.5 mg of sub early this morning, and dont need any more – it is already more than enough. It is my 5th day back on subs, and I am continuing to cut my dose. They don't stack anymore. I have been going into withdrawal every 6 to 7 hours until today, when I've just moved past the insomnia phase. I slept for over 12 hours last night. I feel I am in PAWS, but it is milder than I remember it being. I think subs may truly heal the receptors.

Another thing I recommend is melatonin capsules. These too are available OTC at dollar and drug stores. I get the 1.5 mg melatonin sublingual caplets with lemon balm and lavender added, and I pass out as soon as they dissolve. If I wake up, I take another. Melatonin is produced naturally by the body, and if it doesn't knock you out, your brain uses it up. Always check with your doctor before starting the melatonin and menthol patches. And CONGRATULATIONS on surviving cancer and addiction. :D


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 5:14 pm 
Offline
Average Poster
Average Poster

Joined: Thu May 02, 2013 12:46 pm
Posts: 18
Ugh, so sorry – didn't realize that your initial kick was a year ago. I saw 2012 and thought "2013." But look into the melatonin and metholated patches if they are safe to use with any other meds you are on and any underlying medical conditions. Clonadine or a low-dose antihistamine should also help with sleep at this stage. From your post, I got the idea that you're not seeing a doctor, is that right? If so, could you get to a fast-service clinic sometime this weekend? If you live in a city or suburb, most are open 7 days a week.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Jul 09, 2013 1:23 pm 
Offline
New Poster
New Poster

Joined: Tue Jul 09, 2013 12:14 pm
Posts: 1
MW, Like you I'm in an office job. Five years ago I was put on oxy for herniated discs. It was not long before I was rx'd four 30s per day and kept their for a year. Sometimes id take much more and like you, I ended up on dope after I flunked a urine screen and lost my rx. I turned to a methadone clinic for help. That decision was worse than dope IMO. after 9 months I transitioned to sub and started out at 24 mg. That was almost 3 years ago. Today I'm at 3mg daily. My wife has never gone to a single appointment with me and doesn't understand that this stuff doesn't make me high. I'm normal as I can be on it. Quite an accomplishment coming from three bundles per day IV. But it's not enough for her. She wants me off. Its in her ignorance of course... she has no concept of the sickness... but here I am trying to appease her... something I used to tell my counselor I'm the meth clinic was that the whole reason I ever used Oxy as a crutch in the first place was because of my wife's horrendous post partum depression after our child was born. By the time i gotr to dope, i was only using to start off sick. I never got high. If i wanted a 30 second rush i had to shoot 10 bags at once. But t was never about that. I was trying to stay off sick so I wouldn't lose my job. But I ended up losing out anyway because I was more wrecked in methadone than I was on dope. And she still suffers horrendous mood swings that ican take in stride thanks to sub IMO. she wants me off sub. But I think she needs To either understand what my situation is, or she needs a Benzo, or both. She pressures me like hell to get off this stuff, but its just too soon for me. Likewise, I feel like if she actually understood that I am not stoned, that this was like taking a vitamin for a deficiency, that she'd leave it alone. Anyway, I've been doing this taper and I posted here because I honestly see myself relapsing just like you, MW, if I jump before my own time. Advice?

Thanks!


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Justin999 and 0 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group