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PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:22 pm 
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Well, after a whole lot of thought and consideration, and, in light of my upcoming gall bladder surgery-
among other things- I have taken my last dose of Suboxone (4 mg) this morning...
I have been on sub for almost 6 years; so, I really do feel that the timing is "right", now, for
me to go off of sub. Obviously, I will be jumping from 4 mg. So, I figured that I would make my own
thread in which I can post my experiences with this process.

I have flushed the rest of my subs down the toilet- so, there is no going back, now. I have plenty of
"comfort meds" available: klonopin (prescribed), Immodium, compazine (anti-nausea med), Protonix
(a stomach med), Aleve, and Tylenol. I feel pretty positive about this *at the moment*, but I am sure
that this will change, as most of my previous sub withdrawal symptoms have been mostly mental/
emotional in nature. The longest that I have gone without sub- in those 6+ years of being on it- was
about 5 days.

I am in counseling- but at this time, I am being transferred to a different therapist (for the second time in a row.)
So, I have no idea who I am going to end up with. But I have another option- that is to seek counseling elsewhere-
and I do believe that that is what I am going to do. But not right now. I feel like I could really use a bit of a
break with the counseling; I've been in it for many years, now. So, I don't believe that a short time lapse
would hurt much. We shall see about this, though: only time will tell.

Please feel free to share your thoughts and/or suggestions that you may have.

Thanks for letting me share,

-ex-


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 Post subject: ok
PostPosted: Fri Dec 02, 2011 10:51 pm 
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so you want honesty? I think you're nuts. Impulsive moves regarding opiates can be rough, like the time I took some naltrexone thinking it would cure me of my oxy addiction. It didn't. But hey, to each their own, and I wish you the best of luck. I do believe one of the hardest parts of getting free of opiates is the mental aspect. Somehow the switch has to be flipped to knowing you never want to touch one again. Sounds like you are there. But I also believe in having a plan B, and I'm not sure flushing is what I would have done even if I was sure I wouldn't touch them. Let us know how it goes.

Regards
Jimmy


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 12:28 am 
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Jimmy, it's great you're caring. Exorphin said that she'd put a lot of thought and consideration into her decision. I'm certain it was far from impulsive.

Good on you Exorphin. Keep us posted as to how you go!


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 6:37 pm 
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Wow Ex, I will certainly send good thoughts and energy your way. I know you are aware that the withdrawl will not be a piece of cake. It never is. I believe that you CAN do this. Sounds like you have done a lot of processing and made a decision based on what you feel is best for you. I know that there is no way of predicting how your body and mind will handle your detox. I am sure you are armed with all the comfort meds and advise that come from everyone on this forum. Plenty of fluid, physical activity, healthy nutrition, supportive people. God BLESS you sweetheart and please be safe. By the way, when is your gall bladder surgery? Do you have a job and if you do, are you able to take time off? I hope you have some supportive family or friends near. Please keep in touch with all of us so we know how you are doing.


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PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 9:25 pm 
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Wow, jumping off 4 mg after 6 years. Well, I believe there are many ways to get to the same place. If this is your time, you decision, then so be it and you need some support.

So, you are going to get sick, obviously. The worst thing I ever experienced was waking up in a severe state of anxiety that feels like it is going to make you barf and then kill you. But guess what? It won't. Save your Klonopin for these severe states. I hate to tell you to take it any other way than exactly as prescribed, but in the middle of the anxiety craziness, I put it under my tongue. Rocking yourself back and forth helps in these moments, be it on the floor or wherever. It can feel bad, but then it suddenly goes away. Bottom line: it is all TEMPORARY!! No matter what you are feeling, it is going to end. It is not a forever thing. Make sure you keep a close eye on your Klonopin intake. Every hour that you get through when you feel shitty is a victory. Think of yourself as a warrior and this is your battle. You can win. Nothing can beat you. If you need to do this and have decided to, you absolutely can.

Oh, I don't know what your weather is like, but my weather was cold during the worst part of tapering. So, I needed a really good fleece robe, warm slippers, heated blanket, Lush bath bombs, space heater, heating pads, bengay patches, gloves, fuzzy socks, iPod to listen to all night, space heater...I know there is stuff I'm missing....All those things made a huge, huge difference to me feeling okay. Together, those things felt like a mommy of sorts taking care of me when I was sick. Oh, I recommend Neurontin. I had only a few of these left from taking them for headaches, but those few made a big difference in my leg pain, which was truly a pain. It's nerve pain and mine didn't respond well to anything OTC. I'd add Neurontin to your list of comfort meds if your doc will go with it.

If you are exercising, just keep it reasonable. I noticed that if I pushed to much, my RLS and pain actually got worse. A nice, fast walk and some sun and stretching is a good way to go. That may just be me, but keep it in mind, because I was banging my head, trying to figure out why a whole bunch of freezing to death running was not helping me!!

laddertipper

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 Post subject: Re: ok
PostPosted: Sat Dec 03, 2011 11:24 pm 
[quote="Jimmy"]so you want honesty? I think you're nuts. /quote]

LOL! Exorphin, we have talked before a little bit, so I am gonna be honest and tell you that this was my first thought when I read this. I read a post exactly like this recently, actually..can't seem to remember exactly where.. ;-)

This is gonna be tough, no matter how much Klonopin or comfort meds you have on hand. If it is AT ALL possible for you to do, you should get some Vicodin (or even Percocet, but Vicodin is better) to take before the procedure. There is a chance you could obtain this legally by a doctor understanding of your situation. That would be the best idea, it it is possible. If I were you, I wouldn't toss/give away any Subs, but I would stop them a week before the surgery (you've been on Sub a REALLY long time, and I have heard some misinformed shit from doctors who don't know too much about Sub..such as, "You can stop 8 mgs of Sub 24 hours before surgery and be fine.") If I were you, I would take a full-ag for a week, to get the bupe out of your system and adequately assess your tolerance. Are you planning on taking pain meds? It is a personal choice. Don't let ANYONE ELSE make it for you. You gotta trust your doctor to a certain degree. They may have good advice about that. Make sure you don't have a sadistic bastard for a doctor that sees you as a junkie who he wouldn't prescribe a T3 for an amputation.

You should inform your doctor of your status as an ORT patient. If you choose not to, you run the risk of not being adequately medicated. You MUST MUST MUST inform your anaesthesiologist. If you don't, you could be very sorry. If you do plan on taking pain meds, you may not receive an adequate dose if they don't know about your tolerance.

Good luck. Keep me posted, if you'd like. I'd like to hear how you are doing.

EDIT: I just thought of something..it would be good for a medical professional to answer this, but I am fairly certain that if you are ill (have a fever), they will not perform surgery on you or risk putting your under. If you are in w/d, you may be too sick to be operated on..this is something to consider.

P.S. Obviously my opinion is that you should wait until after surgery to kick Sub, but I support you 100% in your quest, and I definitely believe you can be successful at quitting.


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 2:47 am 
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Exorphin, run every suggestion here by your doctor first. He/she knows you a lot better than us. I'm serious. I personally disagree with anyone self-medicating with full-agonists. To me, it is the definition of addiction.

I agree with laddertipper to only use the extra benzos when absolutely required. Buprenorphine detox for me averaged 12-14 days. If you take extra klonopin for that whole period, it will equal extra dependence. Keep your withdrawal symptoms manageable, but understand that it's not a comfortable process.

Talk to us, let us know how you're going. It doesn't matter how you're feeling, opioid withdrawal is something we all survive as long as we hang on. :D

And make sure you run any big ideas past your doctor!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 8:40 am 
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good luck and be your strongest exorphin'. i'm going to have surgery in 1 to 2 months?
and my recovery will last 6 months to 1 year? i will be taking a shit load of liquid cherry
oxycontin by the spoon fulls daily. and maybe i will not return to suboxone? if i can not
wean off the oxicontin? then suboxone will be my only choice to return too.
exorphin" 4mg sub is alot to jump" are you going to go through w/d before surgery?
laddertripper'. are you doing well? i would not remember all the stuff you did wile tappering? i don't think i would be
bright enough to do all that :(


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 1:18 pm 
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Hi Ex,

You are one brave lady! If this is what you want then I am all for it. Like everyone said it isn't going to be easy but it won't kill you either. You can do it, but if you decide it is too much please don't look at it as a failure if you decide to get back on sub.

I also noticed you didn't mention having clonodine, I would ask my Dr for a script if it were me. I haven't been there yet but have read post after post of members saying clonodine is a must and the most important comfort med one can have. Good luck!


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PostPosted: Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:08 pm 
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Apparently clonidine has benefits in surgery too.


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 Post subject: Having regrets...
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 1:21 pm 
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Well, I have been totally off of subs now since this past Saturday.
I definitely regret having flushed away the rest of my subs- I will be the first to admit
that this was quite a foolish, and yes, impulsive decision. But now I have to deal with it.

I see my surgeon tomorrow for my pre-surgical consult, I will find out then when my
surgery will take place.

Mostly, I am dealing with anxiety, dizziness, a little bit of nausea, lack of energy, etc.
I can handle the physical side effects- it is the mental/emotional side effects that
I'm dealing with that I am finding difficult to deal with right now.

I'll post more tomorrow, after i find out when my surgery will be scheduled.
Hopefully, I will be feeling a bit better by then.

Thanks for all of the replies!

-ex-

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 Post subject: Re: Having regrets...
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:16 pm 
exorphin wrote:
Well, I have been totally off of subs now since this past Saturday.
I definitely regret having flushed away the rest of my subs- I will be the first to admit
that this was quite a foolish, and yes, impulsive decision. But now I have to deal with it.

I see my surgeon tomorrow for my pre-surgical consult, I will find out then when my
surgery will take place.

Mostly, I am dealing with anxiety, dizziness, a little bit of nausea, lack of energy, etc.
I can handle the physical side effects- it is the mental/emotional side effects that
I'm dealing with that I am finding difficult to deal with right now.

I'll post more tomorrow, after i find out when my surgery will be scheduled.
Hopefully, I will be feeling a bit better by then.

Thanks for all of the replies!

-ex-


Ah, exorphin. I sent ya that message before I saw your update!

Yes, it was foolish..but hopefully, someone else will read this and taper a little more slowly.

I feel you on the w/d. The physical symptoms (if you taper down to 1 mg, IMO, never tapered lower and this is only my second run on Sub) can be handled
by a couple beers. It's definitely the mental stuff that makes it tough.

Does your surgeon know you're w/ding..you gotta at least tell the anesthesiologist, especially about your tolerance, which I think may be quite large, after so many years on Sub.

Keep us posted! I have heard some really good stuff about using lope for w/d.

The one time I went off Sub, I think marijuana helped the mental aspect of the w/d..but that can be problematic, depending on your situation.


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 Post subject: Re: Having regrets...
PostPosted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 2:31 pm 
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Ironic wrote:
exorphin wrote:
Well, I have been totally off of subs now since this past Saturday.
I definitely regret having flushed away the rest of my subs- I will be the first to admit
that this was quite a foolish, and yes, impulsive decision. But now I have to deal with it.

I see my surgeon tomorrow for my pre-surgical consult, I will find out then when my
surgery will take place.

Mostly, I am dealing with anxiety, dizziness, a little bit of nausea, lack of energy, etc.
I can handle the physical side effects- it is the mental/emotional side effects that
I'm dealing with that I am finding difficult to deal with right now.

I'll post more tomorrow, after i find out when my surgery will be scheduled.
Hopefully, I will be feeling a bit better by then.

Thanks for all of the replies!

-ex-


Ah, exorphin. I sent ya that message before I saw your update!

Yes, it was foolish..but hopefully, someone else will read this and taper a little more slowly.

I feel you on the w/d. The physical symptoms (if you taper down to 1 mg, IMO, never tapered lower and this is only my second run on Sub) can be handled
by a couple beers. It's definitely the mental stuff that makes it tough.

Does your surgeon know you're w/ding..you gotta at least tell the anesthesiologist, especially about your tolerance, which I think may be quite large, after so many years on Sub.

Keep us posted! I have heard some really good stuff about using lope for w/d.

The one time I went off Sub, I think marijuana helped the mental aspect of the w/d..but that can be problematic, depending on your situation.


I plan on being honest about my sub use-and when I stopped it abruptly- with my surgeon tomorrow.
A lot of good points you bring up, though. I have been using some lope for the w/d- maybe it isn't enough??
Anyway, I also will be honest about my situation with the anesthesiologist- I certainly do not want to wake up
in the middle of surgery!

Thanks,

-ex-

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