It is currently Sat Aug 19, 2017 8:11 pm



All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Our Sponsors





Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 85 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:09 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:45 pm
Posts: 172
Hey CQ,

You know how they say everything happens for a reason? Maybe its a good thing your gf is reading this. I can see how she would be defensive and pissed off at first, but now she can truly see how you feel about things. She can read your feelings and not be able to interrupt you or make you feel bad about them. Hopefully she can take something positive away from all this. She doesn't deserve you if she can't.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 10:17 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:45 pm
Posts: 172
For christ sake, you originally decided to put yourself through all this pain to help out your relationship, and you have forgiven her some major transgressions. You are a much better person than me for that, if a guy did that to me id cut off his thing and feed it to him.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 11:50 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2302
Location: Tennessee
Hey cquick,

Sometimes u need to have support outside of a relationship, especially if one is an addict and the other isn't. Because the one who isn't an addict will never fully understand exactly what ur going through. That's just fact no matter what anyone says, they cannot understand what ur going through. Let her read this all she wants, she'll still never get it completely. I've been with my love for years and he's extremely supportive, but will never fully understand it. And that's ok, I'd never expect him to.

Did u stop the suboxone treatment because of her or because u were ready? Recovery is a time u have to be selfish, meaning that u can only do it for urself for it to work. It seems like honestly u may need this treatment longer. I hate to say that though because only u know how u truly feel. My advice to u is, if the only reason ur stopping is for someone else.....don't do that. U will regret that if that's why ur stopping ur sub. Nobody should ever expect their loved ones to put themselves in danger of relapse that could lead to death. I know it probably sucks to be with someone who suffers from the side effects of sub, but if u truly love someone, you'll stick it out.

All I'm trying to say here cquick is, do whatever u think u need to do for u. U have to live life every day feeling like ur feeling, not anyone else. Would that person feel like this just because u asked them to? I hate that ur so depressed feeling like u are. I hope u make the right decision. Good luck!!

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
Our Sponsors
PostPosted: Thu Aug 27, 2015 7:21 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
Deleted


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 6:59 am 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
Hey folks.
I've sanitized posts.
I'm a Zoo Animal, & my actions are for entertainment. Or in the very least for idle gossip and Petty Judgement. Like an Ant under a magnifying glass. This has nothing to do with any one on the Forum. You all have been super. I no longer feel alone enough to continue. I'm just a circus act. Prying eyes and judgement. Nothing sacred. Day 19


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:28 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:45 pm
Posts: 172
Hey CQ,

I'm not sure what's going on, but I am worried about you! Hope all is ok. I don't understand except maybe the gf was sharing your business here with others? You are not a circus freak, and there's absolutely no judgement from anyone here! Pm or email me if you need to talk. Ill be thinking bout you and wishing you the very best!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 7:32 am 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:45 pm
Posts: 172
PS,

I have some pretty unbelievable stories about love and suboxone myself, and am willing to share with you. Might give you some insight. I've been through a similar situation, not exactly the same, but I totally understand how it goes.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 9:14 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 9:58 am
Posts: 882
Hey C, What is going on? You have us worried! Please let me/us know that you are ok!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 12:36 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4133
It seems that CQuick has either changed his mind about sharing or had it changed for him. Because if there was any judgment it was about the girlfriend's lack of empathy and knowledge. He says he no longer feels alone. If CQ allowed her to see this and she's offended, plus if he's trying to get back with her, he is under her influence. Even if she hasn't seen this and he feels that he needs to be making an effort on her behalf, he is under her influence. (Remember how I suggested that she is controlling?)

Hey girlfriend, if you are reading let me tell you a few things. Despite our seemingly quick judgments we don't know you, so you don't have to be offended by us. Our point to your bf is that he deserves to be in a relationship where he is fully supported in his recovery, on or off suboxone. In case you think that being off suboxone is evidence that your bf is no longer addicted to opiates, it isn't. Addiction is a chronic brain disorder characterized by relapse. He WILL have weak moments if not outright relapses/slips. If you're not prepared to deal with this in your future, please consider letting him go so that he can find someone who isn't so self-centered. His disorder is real and it can kill him. He shouldn't have to follow the advice of a non-addict who is only concerned about how the addiction affects HER.

CQuick, I think you're drinking the kool-aid, man. Everyone needs help and advice every once in a while. Despite the fact that you say your reaction isn't about any of those who tried to help you, you are saying that we are idle gossipers and petty judgers. Not very nice to people who have given a lot of time and effort helping you when you needed it. Not very nice. I get a little upset when my chicks get trampled on for trying to help.

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 1:30 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
Hey folks.
None of that was towards or against you guys. You have all been wonderful. GF thought it would be nice to share my posts with her family. Her brother in law and sister. Her brother in law is Supposedly a recovering addict..but last time i was around him it was 5pm and you could smell the vodka coming off him and on his breath. He they and my GF think being on suboxone is active addiction. Im an addict i have at times taken to much of my subs under stress. When my addictive behavior rears its ugly head. I got angry because of the rant her brother in law put towards me after reading my journal here and the support posts i have gotten. It was extremely "Holier than though" and belittling to myself and everyone that has taken the time to support me. Today is Day 19. Still Clean. Not with GF now. Still at my brothers. Because if i cant do it on her terms and promise i won't go back on suboxone. Then there is no place for me. She says she loves me. She says she supports me. But i think her actions once again speak volumes to me. If i was to go back, then find i can't stay off sub and be healthy happy and was to go back on it. She would immediately kick me back out. Her words not mine. Sorry for all the chaos, i met with my Dr again today. I am choosing to see him again on Mon. And go through the weekend and see if this horrible anxiety leaves me. Day 19. I was very psyched in the beginning. Now as time has inched by, in my current relationship problem, i feel i am very quickly losing my will. Thank you all so much. Im not perfect. I wish the other people in my life realized they weren't either.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 1:36 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
I have to say again. That none of that post was meant for the people on this forum. It was meant for my GF and the family she is sharing it with. . You all have been great. It was a bad idea for me to even let my GF know i was seeking support here. But i was at home with her at the time. And was trying to be as ooen and honest as i could be. That was a mistake. As it only became a way for her to get her family to attack me. Qom, jenn, Michelle, Amy,Rule, Raudy, and everyone else that has commented and supported me. That post wasn't directed at you guys/gals.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 2:53 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2302
Location: Tennessee
I think it's perfectly ok to tell ur loved ones about the support u get here on this forum. My bf knows and I have the app on my phone, I'm with him a lot when I read and comment sometimes. U know, he's never asked me to read my posts. He just sees it as a support that I enjoy and need. He isn't an addict and knows he can't possibly understand everything I'm feeling and realizes he's never going to fully get it. The feeling I'm getting from ur gf is that she is using ur words against u, like this place is some type of threat to her and the control she has over u in ur relationship.

Just going through the withdrawal alone is a major major battle. Add a break up with someone u love and losing ur home at that same time is extremely overwhelming!! Good job on marching on though, u gotta be proud of urself for that. Like Amy said, if ur gf isn't going to give u the support u deserve, she really needs to let u go. And I can think of not one benefit you'd get by her family reading ur posts here. Screw that, ur doing exactly the right things, everything u should be doing ur doing. What is there for her to complain about??

U got til Monday to decide about what ur gonna do. Maybe talk to qom, she's a few weeks farther along than u and stopped at the exact dose u did. Find out what to expect, if these depressed feelings last longer or if what ur feeling is different.

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 5:23 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4133
I get it now CQuick. You're not being hurtful to my chicks here. :) That message was meant for your brother in law and you are absolutely correct! It's pretty rich that he feels free to lecture you despite his own problems!

Taking suboxone in a steady recovery program is not active addiction!!! As the psychiatrist who runs this forum often says, suboxone puts your addiction into remission! Has your gf been at all willing to go talk to your sub doctor about her thoughts and fears? Has she researched the science behind the drug? Probably not because she has her opinion and she doesn't want to deal with any knowledge that doesn't suit her purpose. If she truly loves you, shouldn't her purpose include wanting to do what is best for you? Does she not realize the statistics of the cycle of relapse and abstinence based recovery?

Here's what this comes down to. My opinion is that you need to choose what is most important. Being with your gf or your own health and well being? Because being with your gf is obviously not compatible with your health and well being. She doesn't care about facts. She cares about appearances. She cares about herself and how your being on medication makes HER look. She cares about the stigma washing off onto her. This is not love. This is not love!

I know it's hard to make transitions, but if this crisis has shown you anything, it should have shown you the difference between people who care and people who only care about themselves. You need to be in a relationship where your well-being isn't dictated to you. Your well-being should be about what you think and feel, knowing the odds, knowing the evidence, and not about bending to someone else's will.

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
   
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:22 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 9:58 am
Posts: 882
Oh C, my heart aches for you! To have the unconditional love and support of your life partner is so important in recovery and life in general. I know you love her and I am sure that she has amazing qualities that you find attractive. Do you believe in your heart that she loves you? Than this relationship is worth the work that you both must do. She needs to understand you and support you and you need to be completely upfront and honest with her about all of your feelings. Outside people can not be involved unless they support the relationship! Have you gone to couples counseling? It can help. Or, if you dont want a counselor involved, get the book The Five Languages of Love. Read it together and do the work together. I promise it helps strengthen a relationship in which the two people really care for each other. I hope you get some relief over the weekend so that your decision on Monday will be an easy one. Take care of yourself!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Aug 28, 2015 11:31 pm 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Mon Sep 15, 2014 7:15 pm
Posts: 2302
Location: Tennessee
Amy,

Just wanted to tell ya, the little chicks thing is brilliant lol. I had this mental image of u protecting this little group of chicks :)

Oh and hope ur feeling better from being under the weather.

_________________
Jennifer


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Aug 29, 2015 1:49 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator
User avatar

Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am
Posts: 4133
jennjenn wrote:
Amy,

Just wanted to tell ya, the little chicks thing is brilliant lol. I had this mental image of u protecting this little group of chicks :)

Oh and hope ur feeling better from being under the weather.


Thanks, chicky!

I'm feeling OK, but I keep falling asleep! What is that??

Amy

_________________
Done is better than perfect!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 12:00 am 
Offline
Moderator
Moderator

Joined: Fri May 01, 2015 9:58 am
Posts: 882
Hey C, We did not hear from you today or at least I didn't! I hope everything is ok?? Please, just a few words to let us know how you are! Thanks!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 2:53 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
Day 21. Hey Guys and Gals.
I'm still off the Subs. I tried going back to my GF on Friday night. Friday night went well so did yesterday( saturday) we went to Wellsburg to walk a around at there community day, and there were a ton of yard sales there also. We watched a movie (True Story-James Franco & Jonah Hill) it was a good movie. Then i dropped her off at her sisters to hang out with her family for a few hours they were having a get together. .and i went back to hang with my brother for a bit. Went back to GF about 1030pm. I'm still having a hard time falling asleep, but when i do fall asleep, i am staying asleep, but having a hard time getting up. Today i am over at my brothers again. My mom got back from Vay-k and we are making a roast and hanging out with my brother. GF is not here (she was not really invited) her family doesn't care for me because of the Suboxone "issue" and my family is upset with her because of all the turmoil and stuff. So she calls my family enablers, and says they don't care about me. They just want me to be able to do the things they want me to do. So they could care less about my addiction. (Some of what she says is somewhat true, i guess). So she has been screaming at me all morning now scream texting. This is nothing new to me. I feel (like i have so many times before) like i jump through one hoop, just so she can find another thing to be miserable about and blame me for. Always blaming me for everything ahe sees as wrong in her life. I feel like this has always been the case. I want nothing more than for her to be happy. But I'm realizing (especially now that I'm off the sub) that i may never be able to provide that happiness to her. I still feel pretty shitty. The anxiety & depression are the absolute worst. Still occasional sneezes, chilly sweats and body not regulating temp. It just seems to drag on. Last week i was somewhat Suicidally depressed. I still feel that, that may be the only sober option for me in the end. I'm dreading having to find a place to live, move my stuff out of GF's. Just feel like a failure again. I see my Sub Dr again tomorrow, my counselor on Tuesday and my Primary Dr. On Wed. I don't know what to say to my Sub Dr at this point. Every single Cell in my brain wants me to get back on Sub. Just so i can cope with the Anxiety and Depression. It does seem to act like an Anti-depressant (one that actually works) for me. And a anti-anxiety med. Sorry for the extended Rant. I know you guys probably aren't looking to read a book. I appreciate all your help. All your advice. And all of your compassion. I'll keep you updated. Still clean Day21 CT off 16mg a day Sub jump.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Aug 30, 2015 3:26 pm 
Offline
Super Poster
Super Poster

Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 11:45 pm
Posts: 172
Oh dear CQ,

It upsets me to hear after having a pleasant night with your gf things went back to fighting so quickly after. I think if you get back with her that's how your lifes going to continue. Its not a healthy relationship. Your family is enabling you? By giving you a place to stay after she kicked you out of her home? And her family doesn't care for you because of the sub "issue"? Come on. I know you must care for her, but is it really worth living like that? It doesn't seem things will ever change in that dynamic. Getting your stuff, finding a new place, all that sucks hands down. But you will be doing for you, you'll have a fresh start, and most importantly peace of mind.

It may be the hardest thing you've ever had to do, but the right things are always the hardest. I know. If I were you id talk about it with someone you trust in your family, a close friend, maybe even your counselor. Someone unbias you has your best interest at heart. I know I'm telling you all this because I feel its best for YOU. I don't even know this chick. I just know your situation with her seems incredibly emotionally unhealthy and unhappy. I want the best for you in the long run!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Aug 31, 2015 3:46 pm 
Offline
Power Poster
Power Poster

Joined: Mon Aug 17, 2015 9:55 am
Posts: 49
Hey Qom, & eveybody.
Day 22... I feel physically ok. Some sweating, clamminess, and sneezing ever so often (but not alot).
Mentally however I'm not doing so well. Extremely Anxious, Extremely Depressed.
It seems GF and i have hit our respective lines in the sand. I'm back at my brothers where I'll be staying until i find a place of my own. His house is up for sale, and his wife is already out in Wyoming waiting for him to come out. She left early for a job. He is leaving Sept 21-22 to go out for good. Packing up all their stuff and having it transported out there (they are using something like PODS) instead of having to drive a UHaul out. He said i am welcome to stay at his place and take care of the yard and house till it sells or until i find a place of my own. So that's a bonus. Atleast I'm not having to stay with my other brother out in the Country. I'm kinda heartbroken that things couldn't work out with GF. I was envisioning growing old together when we moved back in together.
I see my counselor tomorrow. My Primary on Wed and my Sub Dr on Wed. I called him today and said give me 2 more days to decide. He's been great about it all. At this point i'm thinking i may get back on at a low dose like 4 mgs or something once a day if i can. Try and stabalize my craziness & get life back together. But i guess we shall see. Thank you for all your support. As i know my posts are quite lengthy. I appreciate alot, as i have very few people to share with, that arent biased or judgmental. You guys are great.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 85 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

All times are UTC - 5 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: FreshStartMama and 2 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Our Sponsors
Suboxone Forum latest topics RSS feed Subscribe to the entire forum
 

 

 
Fond Du Lac Psychiatry
Dr. Jeffrey Junig, M.D., Ph.D.

  • Board Certified Psychiatrist
  • Asst Clinical Professor, Medical College of Wisconsin

Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group