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 Post subject: Thank you Clear Aqua....
PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 4:15 pm 
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Thank you so much for your kind words Clear Aqua...it has been a wild ride! I have to say that keeping busy helps soooo much. I had a 3 day weekend alone (it's been over 2 weeks since I jumped) and I had some of the worst of it mentally the past few days. Now that I am back at work, I seem to be doing better, but there is definitely a direct correlation between how busy I am and how good I feel. It's like I lack creativity or motivation on my own, and have to be pushed to do something in order to get out of myself. Sleep is still not all that great, but definitely better. I just wake up at 5am and not always feeling so hot, but I make it through. I honestly feel like I am probably getting enough sleep and overslept on subs though so I guess it's kinda good to get an early start on the day. But, it sure did stink this weekend when I COULD sleep in, but I still woke up early. I keep thinking that each day that passes is one day further from the last dose, though. There were certainly times where I thought about going back on them and tapering slower, but again, I had made it 7 days before that was really an option.
So, you are at 2mgs now? How long have you been tapering? It sure seems that the ones that do the long/ slow taper have better results. I was just too impatient..:)

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:31 pm 
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I've been tapering a little over 4 months and gone from 24 mgs to 2 mgs daily.

To be honest, I probably should've taken a year or so to do what I've done so far in order to be as w/d free as possible but I was in a hurry too :) And yes, I've been in pretty much a mild state of w/d for a while now as I did go so fast but now that I'm at 2 mgs, I can see that I'm going to have to slow down some. Ive been at 2 mgs since last Wed and still stabilizing here. Having lots of sweats, tiredness and some depression.

I was having some health probs that I think were caused by the Sub (being on a high dose for a long time) and I was very afraid of having to have surgery. I was very motivated to taper quickly. I've also quit smoking during this taper so it's been a double whammy withdrawal wise :)

I was very, very happy on my 24 mgs of Sub...I had no back pain and I realize now just how happy I was. Since about 6 wks into my taper, the depression/lethargy/fatigue started and I battle it everyday and especially 4-10 days after a drop.

Now, that I'm at 2 mgs, I need to go a bit slower. I've missed a lot of work the past 6 wks and some days did not want to get out of bed. It's not a big depression but more a feeling of being "flat"...that's the best I can describe it. If anything, I miss so much feeling happy.

romeo and others who have jumped and have some time under their belts assure me that my happy will come back and I believe them :) As I said...this takes a lot of courage and pushing yourself and we take it one day at a time!


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:29 pm 
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I jumped at .25mg and it took a couple weeks for me to feel ok, though my wd werent to bad i would call it discomfort .........you rock though hanging tough and jumping from what you jumped at :)


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:33 pm 
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I too forgot to congradulate you on being preggers..............girl you took on ALOT AND OVERCAME IT WOW!! please dont forget to pat yourself on the back .. you so deserve it!!


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 10:33 am 
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Thanks ClearAqua and mg113. ClearAqua--I can TOTALLY relate to the "feeling flat"...thank you for reminding me that the "happy" will return. I feel like I am constantly assessing myself/my symptoms to make sure I am ok. When I am busy and get caught up in the moment, I definitely experience moments of my old self, happy and all.
I ran out of Clonidine last weekend, and think that is really affecting my sleep/how I feel in the mornings. I wake up around 5 very restless, full of anxiety, etc, but it passes. I have to remember what HELL it was sleeping 1-2 hours at a time just 2 weeks ago, though. I am wondering if I should get more Clonidine...it's been 3 weeks tomorrow. Any one have any advice as to how long to stay on that?
I would definitely not call what I am going through "depression" but more like I have waves of sadness, thoughts of "I will always feel this way", and a general lack of energy to do things that I used to enjoy. I am normally very hyper, Type A, etc, even before pills/subs. Some days are better than others and the thoughts ALWAYS pass....it is not like I am stuck in a constant state of withdrawal any more. I just miss having energy, wanting to do things, etc. But, my goodness...I am 13 weeks pregnant, so a lot of this could be that. I just keep on keeping on...and hope for a tiny bit of improvement each day. Thank you all for being here through this!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:06 am 
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Hey valleygirl,

I stayed on Clonidine (.1mg twice daily) for months and months. I had read up on it and there were apparently no issues with becoming dependent on it, so I stayed on it. It helped with my sleep and the Sympatheitc Nervous System issues that come with wd (shakiness, anxiety). When I discontinued Clonidine, I suffered no ill effects. I believe I went from twice a day dosing to only taking it at bedtime, then I stopped altogether. Again, I didn't have any kind of "wd" or anything like that from stopping it. As to how long to stay on it, if I were you, I'd stay on it as long as you think it's helping you.

I remember constantly assessing myself too, I had completely forgot about doing that until you just mentioned it. The fact that I had completely forgot about doing the self-asessment thing should serve as additional proof that we do get better. I know how ridiculously hard it is to believe we get better, I remember wanting to drop kick people through a window whenever they would tell me "it gets better" because I didn't believe them!!

If I'm doing my math correctly, today is day 20 off of Suboxone for you. Congratulations!! You really are doing great!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 11:25 am 
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valleygirl wrote:
Thanks ClearAqua and mg113. ClearAqua--I can TOTALLY relate to the "feeling flat"...thank you for reminding me that the "happy" will return. I feel like I am constantly assessing myself/my symptoms to make sure I am ok. When I am busy and get caught up in the moment, I definitely experience moments of my old self, happy and all.
I ran out of Clonidine last weekend, and think that is really affecting my sleep/how I feel in the mornings. I wake up around 5 very restless, full of anxiety, etc, but it passes. I have to remember what HELL it was sleeping 1-2 hours at a time just 2 weeks ago, though. I am wondering if I should get more Clonidine...it's been 3 weeks tomorrow. Any one have any advice as to how long to stay on that?
I would definitely not call what I am going through "depression" but more like I have waves of sadness, thoughts of "I will always feel this way", and a general lack of energy to do things that I used to enjoy. I am normally very hyper, Type A, etc, even before pills/subs. Some days are better than others and the thoughts ALWAYS pass....it is not like I am stuck in a constant state of withdrawal any more. I just miss having energy, wanting to do things, etc. But, my goodness...I am 13 weeks pregnant, so a lot of this could be that. I just keep on keeping on...and hope for a tiny bit of improvement each day. Thank you all for being here through this!


Hey, I relate. I've always been very hyper and Type A too, and I was much more that way before Subs. I'm still not off, but after a drop, I get so sluggish. My brain itself gets very sluggish. The chemicals in our brains are just not used to having to fire themselves. All that stuff has to be rewired.

Not sure how long you should stay on the Clonidine. I'm pretty sure it's better to be on it than to have high blood pressure, especially considering that you are pregnant. So, maybe you could get back on it and maybe take half as much. Then, in a couple weeks, try going down on it some more, and take your blood pressure at the grocery store/pharmacy or doctor's office. If your pressures are good without it, then you'll know you're in the clear.

Good luck!! I'm so happy for you that you won't have this following you around during your pregnancy.

laddertipper

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 08, 2011 1:14 pm 
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I remember feeling like I had an empty spot in me, and I think it was due to me not going thru my morning ritual of taking my sub every day.. I just felt like something was missing.. . but eventually that passed.........and I started doing other things like running more and stuff like that to fill my time. I also remember that when I had other things to do I felt good, it was only when I had time on my hands and started evaluating how I felt that i would feel weird from not being on subs

You also have the pregnancy thing going on, when I was pregnant my hormones went crazy and I wasent on any drugs back then so I can only imagine how you feel girl.. but your doing so well..

I stayed on clonodine for about a month after. mostly for sleep I would alternate it with Ambien so I could get rest. I will say its been almost 3 months and I am over all of it, I didnt get paws. so I feel lucky!!!

Lisa


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 Post subject: To Valleygirl
PostPosted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:43 am 
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I'm chiming in a lil late but I am new to this site,however I must compliment you on your struggles and triumphs...having that many children without sub in the mix is a blessing and very hard gig.I raise my glass...ummmm my coffee to you..lol.your story is inspirational!


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 Post subject: fast taper here too
PostPosted: Sat Aug 13, 2011 10:42 pm 
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ClearAqua wrote:
I've been tapering a little over 4 months and gone from 24 mgs to 2 mgs daily.

To be honest, I probably should've taken a year or so to do what I've done so far in order to be as w/d free as possible but I was in a hurry too :) And yes, I've been in pretty much a mild state of w/d for a while now as I did go so fast but now that I'm at 2 mgs, I can see that I'm going to have to slow down some. Ive been at 2 mgs since last Wed and still stabilizing here. Having lots of sweats, tiredness and some depression.

I was having some health probs that I think were caused by the Sub (being on a high dose for a long time) and I was very afraid of having to have surgery. I was very motivated to taper quickly. I've also quit smoking during this taper so it's been a double whammy withdrawal wise :)

I was very, very happy on my 24 mgs of Sub...I had no back pain and I realize now just how happy I was. Since about 6 wks into my taper, the depression/lethargy/fatigue started and I battle it everyday and especially 4-10 days after a drop.

Now, that I'm at 2 mgs, I need to go a bit slower. I've missed a lot of work the past 6 wks and some days did not want to get out of bed. It's not a big depression but more a feeling of being "flat"...that's the best I can describe it. If anything, I miss so much feeling happy.

romeo and others who have jumped and have some time under their belts assure me that my happy will come back and I believe them :) As I said...this takes a lot of courage and pushing yourself and we take it one day at a time!



so i just wanted to say congrats on your taper! i started at 16mgs, and tapered myself within 2 months down to 2mg..lol no wonder i feel like shit some days! i am sticking at 2 sometimes 3mg, but mostly 2mg per day for a while before i go lower. i think i am the most impatient person here!!! i started subs end of may and already wanna get off them.
thanks for all your input everyone! inspiration!!


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 Post subject: clonidine
PostPosted: Mon Aug 15, 2011 3:45 am 
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Hi all, I have taken clonidine in the past for withdrawal. First time, was about 20 years ago, I went to the ER because I was in withdrawal and soooo sick, they admitted me and my Dr ordered a clonidine patch. It was like magic, 5 minutes after they put the patch on me all the withdrawal symptoms vanished. The patch was good for a week. After the 7 days were up I took it off and felt fine. I used a clonidine patch 3 years later for withdrawal and again it worked great, it did make me feel very tired and washed out but that beat withdrawal. Then about 5 years later I was in withdrawal yet again and this time the clonidine did nothing. I tried it a couple more times over the next few years and it still did not help. It's like I had a tolerance for it. Anyway I started this post to say that when I take clonidine it makes me feel like a dishrag, tired lethargic, blood pressure so low I get dizzy when I stand up. So I would think that most of the tiredness you are experiencing is from the clonidine. Just my two cents.

Peace,
Orchid


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